战争与和平(上)-第107章

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tion　of　self　for　its　reception；　and　（3）　the　improvement　of　the　human　race　through　striving　for　such　purification。　Which；　he　asked；　was　the　first　and　greatest　of　those　three　aims？　Undoubtedly　self…reformation　and　self…purification。　It　is　only　towards　that　aim　that　we　can　always　strive　independently　of　all　circumstances。　But　at　the　same　time　it　is　just　that　aim　which　requires　of　us　the　greatest　effort；　and　therefore；　led　astray　by　pride；　we　let　that　aim　drop；　and　either　strive　to　penetrate　to　the　mystery　which　we　are　unworthy　in　our　impurity　to　receive；　or　seek　after　the　reformation　of　the　human　race；　while　we　are　ourselves　setting　an　example　of　vice　and　abomination。　‘Illuminism’　is　not　a　pure　doctrine　precisely　because　it　is　seduced　by　worldly　activity　and　puffed　up　with　pride。　On　this　ground　Osip　Alexyevitch　censured　my　speech　and　all　I　am　doing。　At　the　bottom　of　my　heart　I　agreed　with　him。　Talking　of　my　domestic　affairs；　he　said　to　me：　‘The　first　duty　of　a　mason；　as　I　have　told　you；　is　the　perfection　of　himself。　But　often　we　imagine　that　by　removing　all　the　difficulties　of　our　life；　we　may　better　attain　this　aim。　It　is　quite　the　contrary；　sir；’　he　said　to　me：　‘it　is　only　in　the　midst　of　the　cares　of　the　world　that　we　can　reach　the　three　great　aims—（1）　self…knowledge；　for　a　man　can　know　himself　only　by　comparison；　（2）　greater　perfection；　which　can　only　be　obtained　by　conflict；　and　（3）　the　attainment　of　the　chief　virtue—love　of　death。　Only　the　corruptions　of　life　can　show　us　all　its　vanity；　and　strengthen　our　innate　love　for　death；　or　rather　regeneration　into　new　life。’　These　words　were　the　more　remarkable　as　Osip　Alexyevitch；　in　spite　of　his　grievous　physical　sufferings；　is　never　weary　of　life；　though　he　loves　death；　for　which　he　does　not；　in　spite　of　all　the　purity　and　loftiness　of　his　inner　man；　yet　feel　himself　prepared。　Then　my　benefactor　explained　to　me　fully　the　significance　of　the　great　square　of　creation；　and　pointed　out　that　the　third　and　the　seventh　number　are　the　basis　of　everything。　He　counselled　me　not　to　withdraw　from　co…operation　with　the　Petersburg　brothers；　and　while　undertaking　duties　only　of　the　second　order　in　the　lodge；　to　endeavour　to　draw　the　brothers　away　from　the　seductions　of　pride；　and　to　turn　them　into　the　true　path　of　self…knowledge　and　self…perfection。　Moreover；　for　myself　personally；　he　advised　me　first　of　all　to　keep　a　watch　over　myself；　and　with　that　aim　he　gave　me　a　manuscript…book；　the　one　in　which　I　am　writing　now；　and　am　to　note　down　all　my　actions　in　the　future。”
“Petersburg；　November　23。—I　am　reconciled　with　my　wife。　My　mother…in…law　came　to　me　in　tears；　and　said　that　Ellen　was　here；　and　that　she　besought　me　to　hear　her；　that　she　was　innocent；　that　she　was　miserable　at　my　desertion　of　her；　and　a　great　deal　more。　I　knew　that　if　I　once　let　myself　see　her；　I　should　not　be　able　to　refuse　to　accede　to　her　wishes。　In　my　uncertainty；　I　did　not　know　to　whose　help　and　advice　to　have　recourse。　If　my　benefactor　had　been　here；　he　would　have　told　me　what　to　do。　I　retired　to　my　own　room；　read　over　the　letters　of　Osip　Alexyevitch；　recalled　my　conversations　with　him；　and　from　all　that　I　reached　the　conclusion　that　I　ought　not　to　refuse　a　suppliant；　and　ought　to　hold　out　a　helping　hand　to　every　one；　and；　above　all；　to　a　person　so　closely　connected　with　me；　and　that　I　must　bear　my　cross。　But　if　I　forgive　her　for　the　sake　of　doing　right；　at　least　let　my　reunion　with　her　have　a　spiritual　end　only。　So　I　decided；　and　so　I　wrote　to　Osip　Alexyevitch。　I　said　to　my　wife　that　I　begged　her　to　forget　all　the　past；　that　I　begged　her　to　forgive　whatever　wrong　I　might　have　done　her；　and　that　I　had　nothing　to　forgive　her。　It　was　a　joy　to　me　to　tell　her　that。　May　she　never　know　how　painful　it　was　to　me　to　see　her　again！　I　have　installed　myself　in　the　upper　rooms　in　this　great　house；　and　I　am　conscious　of　a　happy　feeling　of　beginning　anew。”


Chapter　9
AT　THAT　TIME；　as　always　indeed；　the　exalted　society　that　met　at　court　and　at　the　great　balls　was　split　up　into　several　circles；　each　of　which　had　its　special　tone。　The　largest　among　them　was　the　French　circle—supporting　the　Napoleonic　alliance—the　circle　of　Count　Rumyantsev　and　Caulaincourt。　In　this　circle　Ellen　took　a　leading　position；　as　soon　as　she　had　established　herself　in　her　husband’s　house　in　Petersburg。　She　received　the　members　of　the　French　embassy；　and　a　great　number　of　people；　noted　for　their　wit　and　their　politeness；　and　belonging　to　that　political　section。
Ellen　had　been　at　Erfurt　at　the　time　of　the　famous　meeting　of　the　Emperors；　and　had　there　formed　close　ties　with　all　the　notable　figures　in　Europe　belonging　to　the　Napoleonic　circle。　In　Erfurt　she　had　been　brilliantly　successful。　Napoleon　himself；　seeing　her　at　the　theatre；　had　asked　who　she　was；　and　admired　her　beauty。　Her　triumphs　in　the　character　of　a　beautiful　and　elegant　woman　did　not　surprise　Pierre；　for　with　years　she　had　become　even　more　beautiful　than　before。　But　what　did　surprise　him　was　that　during　the　last　two　years　his　wife　had　succeeded　in　gaining　a　reputation　as　“a　charming　woman；　as　witty　as　she　is　beautiful；”　as　was　said　of　her。　The　distinguished　Prince　de　Ligne　wrote　her　letters　of　eight　pages。　Bilibin　treasured　up　his　mots　to　utter　them　for　the　first　time　before　Countess　Bezuhov。　To　be　received　in　Countess　Bezuhov’s　salon　was　looked　upon　as　a　certificate　of　intellect。　Young　men　read　up　subjects　before　one　of　Ellen’s　soirées；　so　as　to　be　able　to　talk　of　something　in　her　salon；　and　secretaries　of　the　embassy；　and　even　ambassadors；　confided　diplomatic　secrets　to　her；　so　that　Ellen　was　in　a　way　a　power。　It　was　with　a　strange　feeling　of　perplexity　and　alarm　that　Pierre；　who　knew　she　was　very　stupid；　sometimes　at　her　dinners　and　soirées；　listened　to　conversation　about　politics；　poetry；　and　philosophy。　At　these　soirées　he　experienced　a　sensation　such　as　a　conjuror　must　feel　who　expects　every　moment　that　his　trick　will　be　discovered。　But　either　because　stupidity　was　just　what　was　needed　for　the　successful　management　of　such　a　salon；　or　because　those　who　were　deceived　took　pleasure　in　the　deception；　the　cheat　was　not　discovered；　and　the　reputation　of　“a　charming　woman”　clung　so　persistently　to　Elena　Vassilyevna　Bezuhov；　that　she　could　utter　the　vulgarest　and　stupidest　speeches；　and　every　one　was　just　as　enthusiastic　over　every　word；　and　eagerly　found　in　it　a　profound　meaning　of　which　she　did　not　dream　herself。
Pierre　was　exactly　the　husband　needed　by　this　brilliant　society　woman。　He　was　that　absent…minded；　eccentric；　grand　seigneur　of　a　husband；　who　got　in　nobody’s　way　and　far　from　spoiling　the　general　impression　of　the　highest　tone　in　her　drawing…room；　formed　by　his　contrast　with　his　wife’s　elegance　and　tact　an　advantageous　foil　to　her。　Pierre’s　continual　concentration　on　immaterial　interests　during　the　last　two　years；　and　his　genuine　contempt　for　everything　else；　gave　him　in　his　wife’s　circle；　which　did　not　interest　him；　that　tone　of　unconcern；　indifference；　and　benevolence　towards　all　alike；　which　cannot　be　acquired　artificially；　and　for　that　reason　commands　involuntary　respect。　He　entered　his　wife’s　drawing…room　as　though　it　were　a　theatre；　was　acquainted　with　every　one；　equally　affable　to　all；　and　to　all　equally　indifferent。　Sometimes　he　took　part　in　conversation　on　some　subject　that　interested　him；　and　then；　without　any　consideration　whether　the　“gentlemen　of　the　embassy”　were　present　or　not；　he　mumbled　out　his　opinions；　which　were　by　no　means　always　in　harmony　with　the　received　catch…words　of　the　time。　But　the　public　estimate　of　the　eccentric　husband　of　“the　most　distinguished　woman　in　Petersburg”　was　now　so　well　established　that　no　one　took　his　sallies　seriously。
Among　the　numerous　young　men；　who　were　daily　to　be　seen　in　Ellen’s　house；　Boris　Drubetskoy；　who　had　by　now　achieved　marked　success　in　the　service；　was；　after　Ellen’s　return　from　Erfurt；　the　most　intimate　friend　of　the　Bezuhov　household。　Ellen　used　to　call　him　“mon　page；”　and　treated　him　like　a　child。　Her　smile　for　him　was　the　same　smile　she　bestowed　on　all；　but　it　was　sometimes　distasteful　to　Pierre　to　see　that　smile。　Boris　behaved　to　Pierre　with　a　marked；　dignified；　and　mournful　respectfulness。　This　shade　of　respectfulness　too　disturbed　Pierre。　He　had　suffered　so　much　three　years　before　from　the　mortification　caused　him　by　his　wife；　that　now　he　secured　himself　from　all　possibility　of　similar　mortification；　in　the　first　place；　by　being　his　wife’s　husband　only　in　name；　and　secondly；　by　not　allowing　himself　to　suspect　anything。　“No；　now　she　has　become　a　blue…stocking；　she　has　renounced　for　ever　her　former　errors；”　he　said　to　himself。　“There　has　never　been　an　instance　of　a　blue…stocking　giving　way　to　tender　passions；”　he　repeated　to　himself；　a　maxim　he　had　picked　up　somewhere　and　implicitly　believed。　But；　strange　to　say；　the　presence　of　Boris　in　his　wife’s　drawing…room　（and　he　was　almost　always　there）　had　a　physical　effect　on　Pierre；　it　seemed　to　make　all　his　limbs　contract；　and　destroyed　the　unconsciousness　and　freedom　of　his　movement。
“Such　a　strange　antipathy；”　thought　Pierre；　“and　at　one　time　I　really　liked　him　very　much。”
In　the　eyes　of　the　world；　Pierre　was　a　great　lord；　the　rather　blind　and　absurd　husband　of　a　distinguished　wife；　a　clever　eccentric；　who　did　nothing　but　who　was　no　trouble　to　any　one；　a　good…natured；　capital　fellow。　In　Pierre’s　soul　all　this　while　a　complex　and　laborious　process　of　inner　development　was　going　on　that　revealed　much　to　him　and　led　him　to　many　spiritual　doubts　and　joys。


Chapter　10
HE　KEPT　UP　his　diary　and　this　was　what　he　was　writing　in　it　at　that　time：
“November　24。—I　got　up　at　eight　o’clock；　read　the　Scriptures；　then　went　to　my　duties”　（Pierre　by　the　advice　of　Osip　Alexyevitch　was　serving　on　one　of　the　government　committees）；　“came　back　to　dinner；　dined　alone　（the　countess　had　a　lot　of　guests　whom　I　did　not　care　for）；　ate　and　drank　with　moderation；　and　after　dinner　copied　out　passages　for　the　brothers。　In　the　evening　I　went　down　to　the　countess；　and　told　a　ridiculous　story　about　B。；　and　only　bethought　myself　that　I　ought　not　to　have　done　so；　when　every　one　was　laughing　loudly　at　it。
“I　went　to　bed　with　a　calm　and　happy　spirit。　Great　Lord；　help　me　to　walk　in　Thy　paths：　（1）　to　flee　anger　by　gentleness　and　deliberation；　（2）　to　flee　lust　by　self…restraint　and　loathing；　（3）　to　escape　from　the　turmoil　of　the　world　without　cutting　myself　off　from　（a）　the　duties　of　my　political　work；　（b）　the　cares　of　my　household；　（c）　relations　with　my　friends；　and　（d）　the　management　of　my　finances。”
“November　27。—I　got　up　late　and　lay　a　long　while　in　bed　after　I　was　awake；　giving　way　to　sloth。　My　God；　help　me　and　strengthen　me　that　I　may　walk　in　Thy　ways。　Read　the　Scriptures；　but　without　proper　feeling。　Brother　Urusov　came：　talked　of　the　cares　of　this　world。　He　told　me　of　the　Tsar’s　new　projects。　I　was　beginning　to　criticise　them；　but　remembered　my　principles　and　the　words　of　my　benefactor；　that　a　true　mason　ought　to　be　zealous　in　working　for　the　state；　when　his　aid　is　required；　but　should　look　on　quietly　at　what　he　is　not　called　upon　to　assist　in。　My　tongue　is　my　enemy。　Brothers　G。V。　and　O。　visited　me；　there　was　a　conversation　preliminary　to　the　reception　of　a　new