the brotherhood of consolation-第2章

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miscarriages；　without　friends；　for　friendship　demands　either　striking
merits　or　striking　defects；　and　yet　possessing　a　sensibility　of　soul
more　dreamy　than　profound。　Surely　a　retired　life　was　the　course　left
for　a　young　man　whom　pleasure　had　more　than　once　misled；whose　heart
was　already　aged　by　contact　with　a　world　as　restless　as　it　was
disappointing。

His　mother；　who　was　dying　in　the　peaceful　village　of　Auteuil；　recalled
her　son　to　live　with　her；　partly　to　have　him　near　her；　and　partly　to
put　him　in　the　way　of　finding　an　equable；　tranquil　happiness　which
might　satisfy　a　soul　like　his。　She　had　ended　by　judging　Godefroid；
finding　him　at　twenty…eight　with　two…thirds　of　his　fortune　gone；　his
desires　dulled；　his　pretended　capacities　extinct；　his　activity　dead；
his　ambition　humbled；　and　his　hatred　against　all　that　reached
legitimate　success　increased　by　his　own　shortcomings。

She　tried　to　marry　him　to　an　excellent　young　girl；　the　only　daughter
of　a　retired　merchant；a　woman　well　fitted　to　play　the　part　of
guardian　to　the　sickened　soul　of　her　son。　But　the　father　had　the
business　spirit　which　never　abandons　an　old　merchant；　especially　in
matrimonial　negotiations；　and　after　a　year　of　attentions　and
neighborly　intercourse；　Godefroid　was　not　accepted。　In　the　first
place；　his　former　career　seemed　to　these　worthy　people　profoundly
immoral；　then；　during　this　very　year；　he　had　made　still　further
inroads　into　his　capital；　as　much　to　dazzle　the　parents　as　to　please
the　daughter。　This　vanity；　excusable　as　it　was；　caused　his　final
rejection　by　the　family；　who　held　dissipation　of　property　in　holy
horror；　and　who　now　discovered　that　in　six　years　Godefroid　had　spent
or　lost　a　hundred　and　fifty　thousand　francs　of　his　capital。

This　blow　struck　the　young　man's　already　wounded　heart　the　more　deeply
because　the　girl　herself　had　no　personal　beauty。　But；　guided　by　his
mother　in　judging　her　character；　he　had　ended　by　recognizing　in　the
woman　he　sought　the　great　value　of　an　earnest　soul；　and　the　vast
advantages　of　a　sound　mind。　He　had　grown　accustomed　to　the　face；　he
had　studied　the　countenance；　he　loved　the　voice；　the　manners；　the
glance　of　that　young　girl。　Having　cast　on　this　attachment　the　last
stake　of　his　life；　the　disappointment　he　endured　was　the　bitterest　of
all。　His　mother　died；　and　he　found　himself；　he　who　had　always　desired
luxury；　with　five　thousand　francs　a　year　for　his　whole　fortune；　and
with　the　certainty　that　never　in　his　future　life　could　he　repair　any
loss　whatsoever；　for　he　felt　himself　incapable　of　the　effort　expressed
in　that　terrible　injunction；　to　/make　his　way/。

Weak；　impatient　grief　cannot　easily　be　shaken　off。　During　his
mourning；　Godefroid　tried　the　various　chances　and　distractions　of
Paris；　he　dined　at　table…d'hotes；　he　made　acquaintances　heedlessly；　he
sought　society；　with　no　result　but　that　of　increasing　his
expenditures。　Walking　along　the　boulevards；　he　often　suffered　deeply
at　the　sight　of　a　mother　walking　with　a　marriageable　daughter；a
sight　which　caused　him　as　painful　an　emotion　as　he　formerly　felt　when
a　young　man　passed　him　riding　to　the　Bois；　or　driving　in　an　elegant
equipage。　The　sense　of　his　impotence　told　him　that　he　could　never　hope
for　the　best　of　even　secondary　positions；　nor　for　any　easily　won
career；　and　he　had　heart　enough　to　feel　constantly　wounded；　mind
enough　to　make　in　his　own　breast　the　bitterest　of　elegies。

Unfitted　to　struggle　against　circumstances；　having　an　inward
consciousness　of　superior　faculties　without　the　will　that　could　put
them　in　action；　feeling　himself　incomplete；　without　force　to　undertake
any　great　thing；　without　resistance　against　the　tastes　derived　from
his　earlier　life；　his　education；　and　his　indolence；　he　was　the　victim
of　three　maladies；　any　one　of　which　would　be　enough　to　sicken　of　life
a　young　man　long　alienated　from　religious　faith。

Thus　it　was　that　Godefroid　presented；　even　to　the　eye；　the　face　that
we　meet　so　often　in　Paris　that　it　might　be　called　the　type　of　the
Parisian；　in　it　we　may　see　ambitions　deceived　or　dead；　inward
wretchedness；　hatred　sleeping　in　the　indolence　of　a　life　passed　in
watching　the　daily　and　external　life　of　Paris；　apathy　which　seeks
stimulation；　lament　without　talent；　a　mimicry　of　strength；　the　venom
of　past　disappointments　which　excites　to　cynicism；　and　spits　upon　all
that　enlarges　and　grows；　misconceives　all　necessary　authority；
rejoicing　in　its　embarrassments；　and　will　not　hold　to　any　social　form。
This　Parisian　malady　is　to　the　active　and　permanent　impulse　towards
conspiracy　in　persons　of　energy　what　the　sapwood　is　to　the　sap　of　the
trees；　it　preserves　it；　feeds　it；　and　conceals　it。



II

OLD　HOUSE；　OLD　PEOPLE；　OLD　CUSTOMS

Weary　of　himself；　Godefroid　attempted　one　day　to　give　a　meaning　to　his
life；　after　meeting　a　former　comrade　who　had　been　the　tortoise　in　the
fable；　while　he　in　earlier　days　had　been　the　hare。　In　one　of　those
conversations　which　arise　when　schoolmates　meet　again　in　after　years；
a　conversation　held　as　they　were　walking　together　in　the　sunshine　on
the　boulevard　des　Italiens；he　was　startled　to　learn　the　success　of　a
man　endowed　apparently　with　less　gifts；　less　means；　less　fortune　than
himself；　but　who　had　bent　his　will　each　morning　to　the　purpose
resolved　upon　the　night　before。　The　sick　soul　then　determined　to
imitate　that　simple　action。

〃Social　existence　is　like　the　soil；〃　his　comrade　had　said　to　him；　〃it
makes　us　a　return　in　proportion　to　our　efforts。〃

Godefroid　was　in　debt。　As　a　first　test；　a　first　task；　he　resolved　to
live　in　some　retired　place；　and　pay　his　debts　from　his　income。　To　a
man　accustomed　to　spend　six　thousand　francs　when　he　had　but　five；　it
was　no　small　undertaking　to　bring　himself　to　live　on　two　thousand。
Every　morning　he　studied　advertisements；　hoping　to　find　the　offer　of
some　asylum　where　his　expenses　could　be　fixed；　where　he　might　have　the
solitude　a　man　wants　when　he　makes　a　return　upon　himself；　examines
himself；　and　endeavors　to　give　himself　a　vocation。　The　manners　and
customs　of　bourgeois　boarding…houses　shocked　his　delicacy；　sanitariums
seemed　to　him　unhealthy；　and　he　was　about　to　fall　back　into　the　fatal
irresolution　of　persons　without　will；　when　the　following　advertisement
met　his　eye：

　　〃To　Let。　A　small　lodging　for　seventy　francs　a　month；　suitable　for
　　an　ecclesiastic。　A　quiet　tenant　desired。　Board　supplied；　the　rooms
　　can　be　furnished　at　a　moderate　cost　if　mutually　acceptable。

　　〃Inquire　of　M。　Millet；　grocer；　rue　Chanoinesse；　near　Notre…Dame；
　　where　all　further　information　can　be　obtained。〃

Attracted　by　a　certain　kindliness　concealed　beneath　these　words；　and
the　middle…class　air　which　exhaled　from　them；　Godefroid　had；　on　the
afternoon　when　we　found　him　on　the　quay；　called　at　four　o'clock　on　the
grocer；　who　told　him　that　Madame　de　la　Chanterie　was　then　dining；　and
did　not　receive　any　one　when　at　her　meals。　The　lady；　he　said；　was
visible　in　the　evening　after　seven　o'clock；　or　in　the　morning　between
ten　and　twelve。　While　speaking；　Monsieur　Millet　examined　Godefroid；
and　made　him　submit　to　what　magistrates　call　the　〃first　degree　of
interrogation。〃

〃Was　monsieur　unmarried？　Madame　wished　a　person　of　regular　habits；　the
gate　was　closed　at　eleven　at　the　latest。　Monsieur　certainly　seemed　of
an　age　to　suit　Madame　de　la　Chanterie。〃

〃How　old　do　you　think　me？〃　asked　Godefroid。

〃About　forty！〃　replied　the　grocer。

This　ingenuous　answer　threw　the　young　man　into　a　state　of　misanthropic
gloom。　He　went　off　and　dined　at　a　restaurant　on　the　quai　de　la
Tournelle；　and　afterwards　went　to　the　parapet　to　contemplate　Notre…
Dame　at　the　moment　when　the　fires　of　the　setting　sun　were　rippling　and
breaking　about　the　manifold　buttresses　of　the　apsis。

The　young　man　was　floating　between　the　promptings　of　despair　and　the
moving　voice　of　religious　harmonies　sounding　in　the　bell　of　the
cathedral　when；　amid　the　shadows；　the　silence；　the　half…veiled　light
of　the　moon；　he　heard　the　words　of　the　priest。　Though；　like　most　of
the　sons　of　our　century；　he　was　far　from　religious；　his　sensibilities
were　touched　by　those　words；　and　he　returned　to　the　rue　Chanoinesse；
although　he　had　almost　made　up　his　mind　not　to　do　so。

The　priest　and　Godefroid　were　both　surprised　when　they　entered
together　the　rue　Massilon；　which　is　opposite　to　the　small　north　portal
of　the　cathedral；　and　turned　together　into　the　rue　Chanoinesse；　at　the
point　where；　towards　the　rue　de　la　Colombe；　it　becomes　the　rue　des
Marmousets。　When　Godefroid　stopped　before　the　arched　portal　of　Madame
de　la　Chanterie's　house；　the　priest　turned　towards　him　and　examined
him　by　the　light　of　the　hanging　street…lamp；　probably　one　of　the　last
to　disappear　from　the　heart　of　old　Paris。

〃Have　you　come　to　see　Madame　de　la　Chanterie；　monsieur？〃　said　the
priest。

〃Yes；〃　replied　Godefroid。　〃The　words　I　heard　you　say　to　that　workman
show　me　that；　if　you　live　here；　this　house　must　be　salutary　for　the
soul。〃

〃Then　you　were　a　witness　of　my　defeat；〃　said　the　priest；　raising　the
knocker　of　the　door；　〃for　I　did　not　succeed。〃

〃I　thought；　on　the　contrary；　it　was　the　workman　who　did　not　succeed；
he　demanded　money　energetically。〃

〃Alas！〃　replied　the　priest；　〃one　of　the　great　evils　of　revolutions　in
France　is　that　each　offers　a　fresh　premium　to　the　ambitions　of　the
lower　classes。　To　get　out　of　his　condition；　to　make　his　fortune　（which
is　regarded　to…day　as　the　only　social　standard）；　the　working…man
throws　himself　into　some　of　those　monstrous　associations　which；　if
they　do　not　succeed；　ought　to　bring　the　speculators　to　account　before
human　justice。　This　is　what　trusts　often　lead　to。〃

The　porter　opened　a　heavy　door。　The　priest　said　to　Godefroid：
〃Monsieur　has　perhaps　come　about　the　little　suite　of　rooms？〃

〃Yes；　monsieur。〃

The　priest　and　Godefroid　then　crossed　a　wide　courtyard；　at　the　farther
end　of　which　loomed　darkly　a　tall　house　flanked　by　a　square　tower
which　rose　above　the　roof；　and　appeared　to　be　in　a　dilapidated
condition。　Whoever　knows　the　history　of　Paris；　knows　that　the　soil
before　and　around　the　cathedral　has　been　so　raised　that　there　is　not　a
vestige　now　of　the　twelve　steps　which　formerly　led　up　to　it。　To…day
the　base　of　the　columns　of　the　porch　is　on　a　level　with　the　pavement；
consequently　what　was　once　the　ground…floor　of　the　house　of　which　we
speak　is　now　its　cellar。　A　portico；　reached　by　a　few　steps；　leads　to
the　entrance　of　the　tower；　in　which　a　spiral　stairway　winds　up　round　a
central　shaft　carved　with　a　grape…vine。　This　style；　which　recalls　the
stairways　of　Louis　XII。　at　the　chateau　of　Blois；　dates　from　the
fourteenth　century。　Struck　by　these　and　other　evidences　of　antiquity；
Godefroid　could　not　help　saying；　with　a　smile；　to　the　priest：　〃This
tower　is　not　of　yesterday。〃

〃It　sustained；　they　say；　an　assault　of　the　Normans；　and　probably
formed　part　of　the　first　palace　of　the　kings　of　Paris；　but；　according
to　actual　tradition；　it　was　certainly　the　dwelling　of　the　famous　Canon
Fulbert；　the　uncle　of　Heloise。〃

As　he　ended　these　words；　the　priest　opened　the　door　of　the　apartment
which　appeared　now　to　be　the　ground…floor　of　the　house；　but　was　in
reality　towards　both　the　front　and　back　courtyard　（for　there　was　a
s