droll stories-3-第10章

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accustomed；　because　in　them　lies　the　strength　and　is　found　all　the

dull　carnality　of　matter；　while；　on　the　contrary；　in　woman　is　a　subtle

spirit　and　a　scintillation　of　perfumed　flame　that　lights　up　paradise

and　dazzles　the　male。　This　is　the　reason　that　certain　women　govern

their　husbands；　because　mind　is　the　master　of　matter。



（At　this　the　ladies　began　to　laugh；　as　did　also　the　king）。



〃I　will　not　be　silent；〃　said　the　lady　of　Cande　（said　the　abbot；

continuing　his　tale）；　〃I　have　been　too　grossly　outraged。　This；　then；

is　the　reward　of　the　wealth　that　I　brought　you；　and　of　my　virtuous

conduct！　Did　I　ever　refuse　to　obey　you　even　during　Lent；　and　on　fast

days？　Am　I　so　cold　as　to　freeze　the　sun？　Do　you　think　that　I　embrace

by　force；　from　duty；　or　pure　kindness　of　heart！　Am　I　too　hallowed　for

you　to　touch？　Am　I　a　holy　shrine？　Was　there　need　of　a　papal　brief　to

kiss　me？　God's　truth！　have　you　had　so　much　of　me　that　you　are　tired？

Am　I　not　to　your　taste？　Do　charming　wenches　know　more　than　ladies？　Ha！

perhaps　it　is　so；　since　she　has　let　you　work　in　the　field　without

sowing。　Teach　me　the　business；　I　will　practice　it　with　those　whom　I

take　into　my　service；　for　it　is　settled　that　I　am　free。　That　is　as　we

should　be。　Your　society　was　wearisome；　and　the　little　pleasure　I

derived　from　it　cost　me　too　dear。　Thank　God！　I　am　quit　of　you　and　your

whims；　because　I　intend　to　retire　to　a　monastery。〃　。　。　。　She　meant　to

say　a　convent；　but　this　avenging　monk　had　perverted　her　tongue。



〃And　I　shall　be　more　comfortable　in　this　monastery　with　my　daughter；

than　in　this　place　of　abominable　wickedness。　You　can　inherit　from　your

wench。　Ha；　ha！　The　fine　lady　of　Cande！　Look　at　her！〃



〃What　is　the　matter？〃　said　Amador；　appearing　suddenly　upon　the　scene。



〃The　matter　is；　my　father；〃　replied　she；　〃that　my　wrongs　cry　aloud　for

vengeance。　To　begin　with；　I　shall　have　this　trollop　thrown　into　the

river；　sewn　up　in　a　sack；　for　having　diverted　the　seed　of　the　House　of

Cande　from　its　proper　channel。　It　will　be　saving　the　hangman　a　job。

For　the　rest　I　will〃



〃Abandon　your　anger；　my　daughter；〃　said　the　monk。　〃It　is　commanded　us

by　the　Church　to　forgive　those　who　trespass　against　us；　if　we　would

find　favour　in　the　side　of　Heaven；　because　you　pardon　those　who　also

pardon　others。　God　avenges　himself　eternally　on　those　who　have　avenged

themselves；　but　keeps　in　His　paradise　those　who　have　pardoned。　From

that　comes　the　jubilee；　which　is　a　day　of　great　rejoicing；　because　all

debts　and　offences　are　forgiven。　Thus　it　is　a　source　of　happiness　to

pardon。　Pardon！　Pardon！　To　pardon　is　a　most　holy　work。　Pardon

Monseigneur　de　Cande；　who　will　bless　you　for　your　gracious　clemency；

and　will　henceforth　love　you　much；　This　forgiveness　will　restore　to

you　the　flower　of　youth；　and　believe；　my　dear　sweet　young　lady；　that

forgiveness　is　in　certain　cases　the　best　means　of　vengeance。　Pardon

your　maid…servant；　who　will　pray　heaven　for　you。　Thus　God；　supplicated

by　all；　will　have　you　in　His　keeping；　and　will　bless　you　with　male

lineage　for　this　pardon。〃



Thus　saying；　the　monk　took　the　hand　of　the　sire；　placed　it　in　that　of

the　lady；　and　added



〃Go　and　talk　over　the　pardon。〃



And　then　he　whispered　into　the　husband's　ears　this　sage　advice



〃My　lord；　use　your　best　argument；　and　you　will　silence　her　with　it；

because　a　woman's　mouth　it　is　only　full　of　words　when　she　is　empty

elsewhere。　Argue　continually；　and　thus　you　will　always　have　the　upper

hand　of　your　wife。〃



〃By　the　body　of　the　Jupiter！　There's　good　in　this　monk　after　all；〃

said　the　seigneur；　as　he　went　out。



As　soon　as　Amador　found　himself　alone　with　Perrotte　he　spoke　to　her；

as　follows



〃You　are　to　blame；　my　dear；　for　having　wished　to　torment　a　poor

servant　of　God；　therefore　are　you　now　the　object　of　celestial　wrath；

which　will　fall　upon　you。　To　whatever　place　you　fly　it　will　always

follow　you；　will　seize　upon　you　in　every　limb；　even　after　your　death；

and　will　cook　you　like　a　pasty　in　the　oven　of　hell；　where　you　will

simmer　eternally；　and　every　day　you　will　receive　seven　hundred

thousand　million　lashes　of　the　whip；　for　the　one　I　received　through

you。〃



〃Ah！　holy　Father；〃　said　the　wench；　casting　herself　at　the　monk's　feet；

〃you　alone　can　save　me；　for　in　your　gown　I　should　be　sheltered　from

the　anger　of　God。〃



Saying　this；　she　raised　the　robe　to　place　herself　beneath　it；　and

exclaimed



〃By　my　faith！　monks　are　better　than　knights。〃



〃By　the　sulphur　of　the　devil！　You　are　not　acquainted　with　the　monks？〃



〃No；〃　said　Perrotte。



〃And　you　don't　know　the　service　that　monks　sing　without　saying　a

word？〃



〃No。〃



Thereupon　the　monk　went　through　this　said　service　for　her；　as　it　is

sung　on　great　feast　days；　with　all　the　grand　effects　used　in

monasteries；　the　psalms　well　chanted　in　f　major；　the　flaming　tapers；

and　the　choristers；　and　explained　to　her　the　/Introit/；　and　also　the

/ite　missa　est/；　and　departed；　leaving　her　so　sanctified　that　the

wrath　of　heaven　would　have　great　difficulty　in　discovering　any　portion

of　the　girl　that　was　not　thoroughly　monasticated。



By　his　orders；　Perrotte　conducted　him　to　Mademoiselle　de　Cande；　the

lord's　sister；　to　whom　he　went　in　order　to　learn　if　it　was　her　desire

to　confess　to　him；　because　monks　came　so　rarely　to　the　castle。　The

lady　was　delighted；　as　would　any　good　Christian　have　been；　at　such　a

chance　of　clearing　out　her　conscience。　Amador　requested　her　to　show

him　her　conscience；　and　she　having　allowed　him　to　see　that　which　he

considered　the　conscience　of　old　maids；　he　found　it　in　a　bad　state；

and　told　her　that　the　sins　of　women　were　accomplished　there；　that　to

be　for　the　future　without　sin　it　was　necessary　to　have　the　conscience

corked　up　by　a　monk's　indulgence。　The　poor　ignorant　lady　having

replied　that　she　did　not　know　where　these　indulgences　were　to　be　had；

the　monk　informed　her　that　he　had　a　relic　with　him　which　enabled　him

to　grant　one；　that　nothing　was　more　indulgent　than　this　relic；　because

without　saying　a　word　it　produced　infinite　pleasures；　which　is　the

true；　eternal　and　primary　character　of　an　indulgence。　The　poor　lady

was　so　pleased　with　this　relic；　the　virtue　of　which　she　tried　in

various　ways；　that　her　brain　became　muddled；　and　she　had　so　much　faith

in　it　that　she　indulged　as　devoutly　in　indulgences　as　the　Lady　of

Cande　had　indulged　in　vengeances。　This　business　of　confession　woke　up

the　younger　Demoiselle　de　Cande；　who　came　to　watch　the　proceedings。

You　may　imagine　that　the　monk　had　hoped　for　this　occurrence；　since　his

mouth　had　watered　at　the　sight　of　this　fair　blossom；　whom　he　also

confessed；　because　the　elder　lady　could　not　hinder　him　from　bestowing

upon　the　younger　one；　who　wished　it；　what　remained　of　the　indulgences。

But；　remember；　this　pleasure　was　due　to　him　for　the　trouble　he　had

taken。　The　morning　having　dawned；　the　pigs　having　eaten　their　tripe；

and　the　cats　having　become　disenchanted　with　love；　and　having　watered

all　the　places　rubbed　with　herbs；　Amador　went　to　rest　himself　in　his

bed；　which　Perrotte　had　put　straight　again。　Every　one　slept；　thanks　to

the　monk；　so　long；　that　no　one　in　the　castle　was　up　before　noon；　which

was　the　dinner　hour。　The　servants　all　believed　the　monk　to　be　a　devil

who　had　carried　off　the　cats；　the　pigs；　and　also　their　masters。　In

spite　of　these　ideas　however；　every　one　was　in　the　room　at　meal　time。



〃Come；　my　father；〃　said　the　chatelaine；　giving　her　arm　to　the　monk；

whom　she　put　at　her　side　in　the　baron's　chair；　to　the　great

astonishment　of　the　attendants；　because　the　Sire　of　Cande　said　not　a

word。　〃Page；　give　some　of　this　to　Father　Amador；〃　said　madame。



〃Father　Amador　has　need　of　so　and　so；〃　said　the　Demoiselle　de　Cande。



〃Fill　up　Father　Amador's　goblet；〃　said　the　sire。



〃Father　Amador　has　no　bread；〃　said　the　little　lady。



〃What　do　you　require；　Father　Amador？〃　said　Perrotte。



It　was　Father　Amador　here；　and　Father　Amador　there。　He　was　regaled

like　a　little　maiden　on　her　wedding　night。



〃Eat；　father；〃　said　madame；　〃you　made　such　a　bad　meal　yesterday。〃



〃Drink；　father；〃　said　the　sire。　〃you　are；　s'blood！　the　finest　monk　I

have　ever　set　eyes　on。〃



〃Father　Amador　is　a　handsome　monk；〃　said　Perrotte。



〃An　indulgent　monk；〃　said　the　demoiselle。



〃A　beneficent　monk；〃　said　the　little　one。



〃A　great　monk；〃　said　the　lady。



〃A　monk　who　well　deserves　his　name；〃　said　the　clerk　of　the　castle。



Amador　munched　and　chewed；　tried　all　the　dishes；　lapped　up　the

hypocras；　licked　his　chops；　sneezed；　blew　himself　out；　strutted　and

stamped　about　like　a　bull　in　a　field。　The　others　regarded　him　with

great　fear；　believing　him　to　be　a　magician。　Dinner　over；　the　Lady　of

Cande；　the　demoiselle；　and　the　little　one；　besought　the　Sire　of　Cande

with　a　thousand　fine　arguments；　to　terminate　the　litigation。　A　great

deal　was　said　to　him　by　madame；　who　pointed　out　to　him　how　useful　a

monk　was　in　a　castle；　by　mademoiselle；　who　wished　for　the　future　to

polish　up　her　conscience　every　day；　by　the　little　one；　who　pulled　her

father's　beard；　and　asked　that　this　monk　might　always　be　at　Cande。　If

ever　the　difference　were　arranged；　it　would　be　by　the　monk：　the　monk

was　of　a　good　understanding；　gentle　and　virtuous　as　a　saint；　it　was　a

misfortune　to　be　at　enmity　with　a　monastery　containing　such　monks。　If

all　the　monks　were　like　him；　the　abbey　would　always　have　everywhere

the　advantage　of　the　castle；　and　would　ruin　it；　because　this　monk　was

very　strong。　Finally；　they　gave　utterance　to　a　thousand　reasons；　which

were　like　a　deluge　of　words；　and　were　so　pluvially　showered　down　that

the　sire　yielded；　saying；　that　there　would　never　be　a　moment's　peace

in　the　house　until　matters　were　settled　to　the　satisfaction　of　the

women。　Then　he　sent　for　the　clerk；　who　wrote　down　for　him；　and　also

for　the　monk。　Then　Amador　surprised　them　exceedingly　by　showing　them

the　charters　and　the　letters　of　credit；　which　would　prevent　the　sire

and　his　clerk　delaying　this　agreement。　When　the　Lady　of　Cande　saw　them

about　to　put　an　end　to　this　old　case；　she　went　to　the　linen　chest　to

get　some　fine　cloth　to　make　a　new　gown　for　her　dear　Amador。　Every　one

in　the　house　had　noticed　how　this　old　gown　was　worn；　and　it　would　have

been　a　great　shame　to　leave　such　a　treasure　in　such　a　worn…out　case。

Everyone　was　eager　to　work　at　the　gown。　Madame　cut　it；　the　servant　put

the　hood　on；　the　demoiselle　sewed　it；　and　the　little　demoiselle　worked

at　the　sleeves。　And　all　set　so　heartily　to　work　to　adorn　the　monk；

that　the　robe　was　ready　by　supper　time；　as　was　also　the　charter　of

agreement　prepared　and　sealed　by　the　Sire　de　Cande。



〃Ah；　my　father！〃　said　the　lady；　〃if　you　love　us；　you　will　refresh

yourself　after　your　merry　labour　by　washing　yourself　in　a　bath　that　I

have　had　heated　by　Perrotte。〃



Amador　was　then　bathed　in　scented　water。　When　he　came　out　he　found　a

new　robe　of　fine　linen　an