droll stories-3-第23章

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attacked　her　as　a　gray…friar　would　a　ham　at　the　end　of　lent。



This　trial　caused　so　great　a　commotion　in　the　town　of　Rouen　that　the

provost　was　sent　for　by　the　duke；　who　had　an　intense　desire　to　know　if

the　thing　were　true。　Upon　the　affirmation　of　the　provost；　he　ordered

Vieux　par…Chemins　to　be　brought　to　his　palace；　in　order　that　he　might

hear　what　defence　he　had　to　make。　The　poor　old　fellow　appeared　before

the　prince；　and　informed　him　naively　of　the　misfortune　which　his

impulsive　nature　brought　upon　him；　declaring　that　he　was　like　a　young

fellow　impelled　by　imperious　desires；　that　up　to　the　present　year　he

had　sweethearts　of　his　own；　but　for　the　last　eight　months　he　had　been

a　total　abstainer；　that　he　was　too　poor　to　find　favour　with　the　girls

of　the　town；　that　honest　women　who　once　were　charitable　to　him；　had

taken　a　dislike　to　his　hair；　which　had　feloniously　turned　white　in

spite　of　the　green　youth　of　his　love；　and　that　he　felt　compelled　to

avail　himself　of　the　chance　when　he　saw　this　maiden；　who；　stretched　at

full　length　under　the　beech　tree；　left　visible　the　lining　of　her　dress

and　two　hemispheres；　white　as　snow；　which　had　deprived　him　of　reason；

that　the　fault　was　the　girl's　and　not　his；　because　young　maidens

should　be　forbidden　to　entice　passers…by　by　showing　them　that　which

caused　Venus　to　be　named　Callipyge；　finally　the　prince　ought　to　be

aware　what　trouble　a　man　had　to　control　himself　at　the　hour　of　noon；

because　that　was　the　time　of　day　at　which　King　David　was　smitten　with

the　wife　of　the　Sieur　Uriah；　that　where　a　Hebrew　king；　beloved　of　God；

had　succumbed；　a　poor　man；　deprived　of　all　joy；　and　reduced　to　begging

for　his　bread；　could　not　expect　to　escape；　that　for　that　matter　of

that；　he　was　quite　willing　to　sing　psalms　for　the　remainder　of　his

days；　and　play　upon　a　lute　by　way　of　penance；　in　imitation　of　the　said

king；　who　had　had　the　misfortune　to　slay　a　husband；　while　he　had　only

done　a　trifling　injury　to　a　peasant　girl。　The　duke　listened　to　the

arguments　of　Vieux　par…Chemins；　and　said　that　he　was　a　man　of　good

parts。　Then　he　made　his　memorable　decree；　that　if；　as　this　beggar

declared；　he　had　need　of　such　gratification　at　his　age　he　gave

permission　to　prove　it　at　the　foot　of　the　ladder　which　he　would　have

to　mount　to　be　hanged；　according　to　the　sentence　already　passed　on　him

by　the　provost；　that　if　then；　the　rope　being　round　his　neck；　between

the　priest　and　the　hangman；　a　like　desire　seized　him　he　should　have　a

free　pardon。



This　decree　becoming　known；　there　was　a　tremendous　crowd　to　see　the

old　fellow　led　to　the　gallows。　There　was　a　line　drawn　up　as　if　for　a

ducal　entry；　and　in　it　many　more　bonnets　than　hats。　Vieux　par…Chemins

was　saved　by　a　lady　curious　to　see　how　this　precious　violator　would

finish　his　career。　She　told　the　duke　that　religion　demanded　that　he

should　have　a　fair　chance。　And　she　dressed　herself　as　if　for　a　ball；

she　brought　intentionally　into　evidence　two　hillocks　of　such　snowy

whiteness　that　the　whitest　linen　neckerchief　would　have　paled　before

them；　indeed；　these　fruits　of　love　stood　out；　without　a　wrinkle；　over

her　corset；　like　two　beautiful　apples；　and　made　one's　mouth　water；　so

exquisite　were　they。　This　noble　lady；　who　was　one　of　those　who　rouse

one's　manhood；　had　a　smile　ready　on　her　lips　for　the　old　fellow。　Vieux

par…Chemins；　dressed　in　garments　of　coarse　cloth；　more　certain　of

being　in　the　desired　state　after　hanging　than　before　it；　came　along

between　the　officers　of　justice　with　a　sad　countenance；　glancing　now

here　and　there；　and　seeing　nothing　but　head…dresses；　and　he　would　he

declared；　have　given　a　hundred　crowns　for　a　girl　tucked　up　as　was　the

cowherdess；　whose　charms；　though　they　had　been　his　ruin；　he　still

remembered；　and　they　might　still　have　saved　him；　but；　as　he　was　old；

the　remembrance　was　not　sufficiently　recent。　But　when；　at　the　foot　of

the　ladder；　he　saw　the　twin　charms　of　the　lady；　and　the　pretty　delta

that　their　confluent　rotundities　produced；　the　sight　so　much　excited

him　that　his　emotion　was　patent　to　the　spectators。



〃Make　haste　and　see　that　the　required　conditions　are　fulfilled；〃　said

he　to　the　officers。　〃I　have　gained　my　pardon　but　I　cannot　answer　for

my　saviour。〃



The　lady　was　well　pleased　with　this　homage；　which；　she　said；　was

greater　than　his　offence。　The　guards；　whose　business　it　was　to　proceed

to　a　verification；　believed　the　culprit　to　be　the　devil；　because　never

in　their　wits　had　they　seen　an　〃I〃　so　perpendicular　as　was　the　old

man。　He　was　marched　in　triumph　through　the　town　to　the　palace　of　the

duke；　to　whom　the　guards　and　others　stated　the　facts。　In　that　period

of　ignorance；　this　affair　was　thought　so　much　of　that　the　town　voted

the　erection　of　a　column　on　the　spot　where　the　old　fellow　gained　his

pardon；　and　he　was　portrayed　thereon　in　stone　in　the　attitude　he

assumed　at　the　sight　of　that　honest　and　virtuous　lady。　The　statue　was

still　to　be　seen　when　Rouen　was　taken　by　the　English；　and　the　writers

of　the　period　have　included　this　history　among　the　notable　events　of

the　reign。



As　the　town　offered　to　supply　the　old　man　with　all　he　required；　and

see　to　his　sustenance；　clothing；　and　amusements；　the　good　duke

arranged　matters　by　giving　the　injured　maiden　a　thousand　crowns　and

marrying　her　to　her　seducer；　who　then　lost　his　name　of　Vieux　par…

Chemins。　He　was　named　by　the　duke　the　Sieur　de　Bonne…C。　This


wife　was　confined　nine　months　afterwards　of　a　perfectly　formed　male

child；　alive　and　kicking；　and　born　with　two　teeth。　From　this　marriage

came　the　house　of　Bonne…C；　who　from　motives　modest　but　wrong；

besought　our　well…beloved　King　Louis　Eleventh　to　grant　them　letters

patent　to　change　their　names　into　that　of　Bonne…Chose。　The　king

pointed　out　to　the　Sieur　de　Bonne…C　that　there　was　in　the　state

of　Venice　an　illustrious　family　named　Coglioni；　who　wore　three

〃C　au　natural〃　on　their　coat　of　arms。　The　gentlemen　of　the　House

of　Bonne…C　stated　to　the　king　that　their　wives　were　ashamed　to

be　thus　called　in　public　assemblies；　the　king　answered　that　they　would

lose　a　great　deal；　because　there　is　a　great　deal　in　a　name。

Nevertheless；　he　granted　the　letters。　After　that　this　race　was　known

by　this　name；　and　founded　families　in　many　provinces。　The　first　Sieur

de　Bonne…C　lived　another　27　years；　and　had　another　son　and　two

daughters。　But　he　grieved　much　at　becoming　rich；　and　no　longer　being

able　to　pick　up　a　living　in　the　street。



From　this　you　can　obtain　finer　lessons　and　higher　morals　than　from　any

story　you　will　read　all　your　life　longof　course　excepting　these

hundred　glorious　Droll　Talesnamely；　that　never　could　adventure　of

this　sort　have　happened　to　the　impaired　and　ruined　constitutions　of

court　rascals；　rich　people　and　others　who　dig　their　graves　with　their

teeth　by　over…eating　and　drinking　many　wines　that　impair　the

implements　of　happiness；　which　said　over…fed　people　were　lolling

luxuriously　in　costly　draperies　and　on　feather　beds；　while　the　Sieur

de　Bonne…Chose　was　roughing　it。　In　a　similar　situation；　if　they　had

eaten　cabbage；　it　would　have　given　them　the　diarrhoea。　This　may　incite

many　of　those　who　read　this　story　to　change　their　mode　of　life；　in

order　to　imitate　Vieux　par…Chemins　in　his　old　age。







ODD　SAYINGS　OF　THREE　PILGRIMS



When　the　pope　left　his　good　town　of　Avignon　to　take　up　his　residence

in　Rome；　certain　pilgrims　were　thrown　out　who　had　set　out　for　this

country；　and　would　have　to　pass　the　high　Alps；　in　order　to　gain　this

said　town　of　Rome；　where　they　were　going　to　seek　the　/remittimus/　of

various　sins。　Then　were　to　be　seen　on　the　roads；　and　the　hostelries；

those　who　wore　the　order　of　Cain；　otherwise　the　flower　of　the

penitents；　all　wicked　fellows；　burdened　with　leprous　souls；　which

thirsted　to　bathe　in　the　papal　piscina；　and　all　carrying　with　them

gold　or　precious　things　to　purchase　absolution；　pay　for　their　beds；

and　present　to　the　saints。　You　may　be　sure　that　those　who　drank　water

going；　on　their　return；　if　the　landlords　gave　them　water；　wished　it　to

be　the　holy　water　of　the　cellar。



At　this　time　the　three　pilgrims　came　to　this　said　Avignon　to　their

injury；　seeing　that　it　was　widowed　of　the　pope。　While　they　were

passing　the　Rhodane；　to　reach　the　Mediterranean　coast；　one　of　the

three　pilgrims；　who　had　with　him　a　son　about　10　years　of　age；　parted

company　with　the　others；　and　near　the　town　of　Milan　suddenly　appeared

again；　but　without　the　boy。　Now　in　the　evening；　at　supper；　they　had　a

hearty　feast　in　order　to　celebrate　the　return　of　the　pilgrim；　who　they

thought　had　become　disgusted　with　penitence　through　the　pope　not　being

in　Avignon。　Of　these　three　roamers　to　Rome；　one　had　come　from　the　city

of　Paris；　the　other　from　Germany；　and　the　third；　who　doubtless　wished

to　instruct　his　son　on　the　journey；　had　his　home　in　the　duchy　of

Burgundy；　in　which　he　had　certain　fiefs；　and　was　a　younger　son　of　the

house　of　Villers…la…Faye　（Villa　in　Fago）；　and　was　named　La　Vaugrenand。

The　German　baron　had　met　the　citizen　of　Paris　just　past　Lyons；　and

both　had　accosted　the　Sire　de　la　Vaugrenand　in　sight　of　Avignon。



Now　in　this　hostelry　the　three　pilgrims　loosened　their　tongues；　and

agreed　to　journey　to　Rome　together；　in　order　the　better　to　resist　the

foot　pads；　the　night…birds；　and　other　malefactors；　who　made　it　their

business　to　ease　pilgrims　of　that　which　weighed　upon　their　bodies

before　the　pope　eased　them　of　that　which　weighed　upon　their

consciences。　After　drinking　the　three　companions　commenced　to　talk

together；　for　the　bottle　is　the　key　of　conversation；　and　each　made

this　confessionthat　the　cause　of　his　pilgrimage　was　a　woman。　The

servant　who　watched　their　drinking；　told　them　that　of　a　hundred

pilgrims　who　stopped　in　the　locality；　ninety…nine　were　travelling　from

the　same　thing。　These　three　wise　men　then　began　to　consider　how

pernicious　is　woman　to　man。　The　Baron　showed　the　heavy　gold　chain　that

he　had　in　his　hauberk　to　present　to　Saint　Peter；　and　said　his　crime

was　such　that　he　would　not　get　rid　of　with　the　value　of　two　such

chains。　The　Parisian　took　off　his　glove；　and　exposed　a　ring　set　with　a

white　diamond；　saying　that　he　had　a　hundred　like　it　for　the　pope。　The

Burgundian　took　off　his　hat；　and　exhibited　two　wonderful　pearls；　that

were　beautiful　ear…pendants　for　Notre…Dame…de…Lorette；　and　candidly

confessed　that　he　would　rather　have　left　them　round　his　wife's　neck。



Thereupon　the　servant　exclaimed　that　their　sins　must　have　been　as

great　as　those　of　Visconti。



Then　the　pilgrims　replied　that　they　were　such　that　they　had　made　a

solemn　vow　in　their　minds　never　to　go　astray　again　during　the

remainder　of　their　days；　however　beautiful　the　woman　might　be；　and

this　in　addition　to　the　penance　which　the　pope　might　impose　upon　them。



Then　the　servant　expressed　her　astonishment　that　all　had　made　the　same

vow。　The　Burgundian　added；　that　this　vow　had　been　the　cause　of　his

lagging　behi