droll stories-3-第6章

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a　more　virtuous　provost？　No！　All　provosts　hang　too　little；　or　too

much；　while　this　one　just　hanged　as　much　as　was　necessary　to　be　a

provost。



This　good　fellow　had　for　his　wife　in　legitimate　marriage；　and　much　to

the　astonishment　of　everyone；　the　prettiest　little　woman　in　Bourges。

So　it　was　that　often；　while　on　his　road　to　the　execution；　he　would　ask

God　the　same　question　as　several　others　in　the　town　didnamely；　why

he；　Petit；　he　the　sheriff；　he　the　provost　royal；　had　to　himself；

Petit；　provost　royal　and　sheriff；　a　wife　so　exquisitely　shapely；　said

dowered　with　charms；　that　a　donkey　seeing　her　pass　by　would　bray　with

delight。　To　this　God　vouchsafed　no　reply；　and　doubtless　had　his

reasons。　But　the　slanderous　tongues　of　the　town　replied　for　him；　that

the　young　lady　was　by　no　means　a　maiden　when　she　became　the　wife　of

Petit。　Others　said　she　did　not　keep　her　affections　solely　for　him。　The

wags　answered；　that　donkeys　often　get　into　fine　stables。　Everyone　had

taunts　ready　which　would　have　made　a　nice　little　collection　had　anyone

gathered　them　together。　From　them；　however；　it　is　necessary　to　take

nearly　four…fourths；　seeing　that　Petit's　wife　was　a　virtuous　woman；

who　had　a　lover　for　pleasure　and　a　husband　for　duty。　How　many　were

there　in　the　town　as　careful　of　their　hearts　and　mouths？　If　you　can

point　out　one　to　me；　I'll　give　you　a　kick　or　a　half…penny；　whichever

you　like。　You　will　find　some　who　have　neither　husband　nor　lover。

Certain　females　have　a　lover　and　no　husband。　Ugly　women　have　a　husband

and　no　lover。　But　to　meet　with　a　woman　who；　having　one　husband　and　one

lover；　keeps　to　the　deuce　without　trying　for　the　trey；　there　is　the

miracle；　you　see；　you　greenhorns；　blockheads；　and　dolts！　Now　then；　put

the　true　character　of　this　virtuous　woman　on　the　tablets　of　your

memory；　go　your　ways；　and　let　me　go　mine。



The　good　Madame　Petit　was　not　one　of　those　ladies　who　are　always　on

the　move；　running　hither　and　thither；　can't　keep　still　a　moment；　but

trot　about；　worrying；　hurrying；　chattering；　and　clattering；　and　had

nothing　in　them　to　keep　them　steady；　but　are　so　light　that　they　run

after　a　gastric　zephyr　as　after　their　quintessence。　No；　on　the

contrary；　she　was　a　good　housewife；　always　sitting　in　her　chair　or

sleeping　in　her　bed；　ready　as　a　candlestick；　waiting　for　her　lover

when　her　husband　went　out；　receiving　the　husband　when　the　lover　had

gone。　This　dear　woman　never　thought　of　dressing　herself　only　to　annoy

and　make　other　wives　jealous。　Pish！　She　had　found　a　better　use　for　the

merry　time　of　youth；　and　put　life　into　her　joints　in　order　to　make　the

best　use　of　it。　Now　you　know　the　provost　and　his　good　wife。



The　provost's　lieutenant　in　duties　matrimonial；　duties　which　are　so

heavy　that　it　takes　two　men　to　execute　them；　was　a　noble　lord；　a

landowner；　who　disliked　the　king　exceedingly。　You　must　bear　this　in

mind；　because　it　is　one　of　the　principal　points　of　the　story。　The

Constable；　who　was　a　thorough　Scotch　gentleman；　had　seen　by　chance

Petit's　wife；　and　wished　to　have　a　little　conversation　with　her

comfortably；　towards　the　morning；　just　the　time　to　tell　his　beads；

which　was　Christianly　honest；　or　honestly　Christian；　in　order　to　argue

with　her　concerning　the　things　of　science　or　the　science　of　things。

Thinking　herself　quite　learned　enough；　Madame　Petit；　who　was；　as　has

been　stated；　a　virtuous；　wise；　and　honest　wife；　refused　to　listen　to

the　said　constable。　After　certain　arguments；　reasonings；　tricks　and

messages；　which　were　of　no　avail；　he　swore　by　his　great　black

/coquedouille/　that　he　would　rip　up　the　gallant　although　he　was　a　man

of　mark。　But　he　swore　nothing　about　the　lady。　This　denotes　a　good

Frenchman；　for　in　such　a　dilemma　there　are　certain　offended　persons

who　would　upset　the　whole　business　of　three　persons　by　killing　four。

The　constable　wagered　his　big　black　/coquedouille/　before　the　king　and

the　lady　of　Sorel；　who　were　playing　cards　before　supper；　and　his

majesty　was　well　pleased；　because　he　would　be　relieved　of　this　noble；

that　displeased　him；　and　that　without　costing　him　a　Thank　You。



〃And　how　will　you　manage　the　affair？〃　said　Madame　de　Sorel　to　him；

with　a　smile。



〃Oh；　oh！〃　replied　the　constable。　〃You　may　be　sure；　madame；　I　do　not

wish　to　lose　my　big　black　coquedouille。〃



〃What　was；　then；　this　great　coquedouille？〃



〃Ha；　ha！　This　point　is　shrouded　in　darkness　to　a　degree　that　would

make　you　ruin　your　eyes　in　ancient　books；　but　it　was　certainly

something　of　great　importance。　Nevertheless；　let　us　put　on　our

spectacles；　and　search　it　out。　/Douille/　signifies　in　Brittany；　a

girl；　and　/coque/　means　a　cook's　frying　pan。　From　this　word　has　come

into　France　that　of　/coquin/a　knave　who　eats；　licks；　laps；　sucks；

and　fritters　his　money　away；　and　gets　into　stews；　is　always　in　hot

water；　and　eats　up　everything；　leads　an　idle　life；　and　doing　this；

becomes　wicked；　becomes　poor；　and　that　incites　him　to　steal　or　beg。

From　this　it　may　be　concluded　by　the　learned　that　the　great

coquedouille　was　a　household　utensil　in　the　shape　of　a　kettle　used　for

cooking　things。〃



〃Well；〃　continued　the　constable；　who　was　the　Sieur　of　Richmond；　〃I

will　have　the　husband　ordered　to　go　into　the　country　for　a　day　and　a

night；　to　arrest　certain　peasants　suspected　of　plotting　treacherously

with　the　English。　Thereupon　my　two　pigeons；　believing　their　man

absent；　will　be　as　merry　as　soldiers　off　duty；　and；　if　a　certain　thing

takes　place；　I　will　let　loose　the　provost；　sending　him；　in　the　king's

name；　to　search　the　house　where　the　couple　will　be；　in　order　that　he

may　slay　our　friend；　who　pretends　to　have　this　good　cordelier　all　to

himself。〃



〃What　does　this　mean？〃　said　the　Lady　of　Beaute。



〃Friar　。　。　。　fryer　。　。　。　an　/equivoque/；〃　answered　the　king；　smiling。



〃Come　to　supper；〃　said　Madame　Agnes。　〃You　are　bad　men；　who　with　one

word　insult　both　the　citizens'　wives　and　a　holy　order。〃



Now；　for　a　long　time；　Madame　Petit　had　longed　to　have　a　night　of

liberty；　during　which　she　might　visit　the　house　of　the　said　noble；

where　she　could　make　as　much　noise　as　she　liked；　without　waking　the

neighbours；　because　at　the　provost's　house　she　was　afraid　of　being

overheard；　and　had　to　content　herself　well　with　the　pilferings　of

love；　little　tastes；　and　nibbles；　daring　at　the　most　only　to　trot；

while　what　she　desired　was　a　smart　gallop。　On　the　morrow；　therefore；

the　lady's…maid　went　off　about　midday　to　the　young　lord's　house；　and

told　the　loverfrom　whom　she　received　many　presents；　and　therefore　in

no　way　disliked　himthat　he　might　make　his　preparations　for　pleasure；

and　for　supper；　for　that　he　might　rely　upon　the　provost's　better　half

being　with　him　in　the　evening　both　hungry　and　thirsty。



〃Good！〃　said　he。　〃Tell　your　mistress　I　will　not　stint　her　in　anything

she　desires。〃



The　pages　of　the　cunning　constable；　who　were　watching　the　house；

seeing　the　gallant　prepare　for　his　gallantries；　and　set　out　the

flagons　and　the　meats；　went　and　informed　their　master　that　everything

had　happened　as　he　wished。　Hearing　this；　the　good　constable　rubbed　his

hands　thinking　how　nicely　the　provost　would　catch　the　pair。　He

instantly　sent　word　to　him；　that　by　the　king's　express　commands　he　was

to　return　to　town；　in　order　that　he　might　seize　at　the　said　lord's

house　an　English　nobleman；　with　whom　he　was　vehemently　suspected　to　be

arranging　a　plot　of　diabolical　darkness。　But　before　he　put　this　order

into　execution；　he　was　to　come　to　the　king's　hotel；　in　order　that　he

might　understand　the　courtesy　to　be　exercised　in　this　case。　The

provost；　joyous　at　the　chance　of　speaking　to　the　king；　used　such

diligence　that　he　was　in　town　just　at　that　time　when　the　two　lovers

were　singing　the　first　note　of　their　evening　hymn。　The　lord　of

cuckoldom　and　its　surrounding　lands；　who　is　a　strange　lord；　managed

things　so　well；　that　madame　was　only　conversing　with　her　lord　lover　at

the　time　that　her　lord　spouse　was　talking　to　the　constable　and　the

king；　at　which　he　was　pleased；　and　so　was　his　wifea　case　of　concord

rare　in　matrimony。



〃I　was　saying　to　monseigneur；〃　said　the　constable　to　the　provost；　as

he　entered　the　king's　apartment；　〃that　every　man　in　the　kingdom　has　a

right　to　kill　his　wife　and　her　lover　if　he　finds　them　in　an　act　of

infidelity。　But　his　majesty；　who　is　clement；　argues　that　he　has　only　a

right　to　kill　the　man；　and　not　the　woman。　Now　what　would　you　do；　Mr。

Provost；　if　by　chance　you　found　a　gentleman　taking　a　stroll　in　that

fair　meadow　of　which　laws；　human　and　divine；　enjoin　you　alone　to

cultivate　the　verdure？〃



〃I　would　kill　everything；〃　said　the　provost；　〃I　would　scrunch　the　five

hundred　thousand　devils　of　nature；　flower　and　seed；　and　send　them

flying；　the　pips　and　apples；　the　grass　and　the　meadow；　the　woman　and

the　man。〃



〃You　would　be　in　the　wrong；〃　said　the　king。　〃That　is　contrary　to　the

laws　of　the　Church　and　of　the　State；　of　the　State；　because　you　might

deprive　me　of　a　subject；　of　the　Church；　because　you　would　be　sending

an　innocent　to　limbo　unshriven。〃



〃Sire；　I　admire　your　profound　wisdom；　and　I　clearly　perceive　you　to　be

the　centre　of　all　justice。〃



〃We　can　then　only　kill　the　knightAmen；〃　said　constable；　〃Kill　the

horseman。　Now　go　quickly　to　the　house　of　the　suspected　lord；　but

without　letting　yourself　be　bamboozled；　do　not　forget　what　is　due　to

his　position。〃



The　provost；　believing　he　would　certainly　be　Chancellor　of　France　if

he　properly　acquitted　himself　of　the　task；　went　from　the　castle　into

the　town；　took　his　men；　arrived　at　the　nobleman's　residence；　arranged

his　people　outside；　placed　guards　at　all　the　doors；　opened　noiselessly

by　order　of　the　king；　climbs　the　stairs；　asks　the　servants　in　which

room　their　master　is；　puts　them　under　arrest；　goes　up　alone；　and

knocks　at　the　door　of　the　room　where　the　two　lovers　are　tilting　in

love's　tournament；　and　says　to　them



〃Open；　in　the　name　of　our　lord　the　king！〃



The　lady　recognised　her　husband's　voice；　and　could　not　repress　a

smile；　thinking　that　she　had　not　waited　for　the　king's　orders　to　do

what　she　had　done。　But　after　laughter　came　terror。　Her　lover　took　his

cloak；　threw　it　over　him；　and　came　to　the　door。　There；　not　knowing

that　his　life　was　in　peril；　he　declared　that　he　belonged　to　the　court

and　to　the　king's　household。



〃Bah！〃　said　the　provost。　〃I　have　a　strict　order　from　the　king；　and

under　pain　of　being　treated　as　a　rebel；　you　are　bound　instantly　to

receive　me。〃



Then　the　lord　went　out　to　him；　still　holding　the　door。



〃What　do　you　want　here？〃



〃An　enemy　of　our　lord　the　king；　whom　we　command　you　to　deliver　into

our　hands；　otherwise　you　must　follow　me　with　him　to　the　castle。〃



This；　thought　the　lover；　is　a　piece　of　treachery　on　the　part　of　the

constable；　whose　proposition　my　dear　mistress　treated　with　scorn。　We

must　get　out　of　this　scrape　in　some　way。　Then　turning　towards　the

provost；　he　went　double　or　q