droll stories-3-第8章

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to　laugh　at　the　same　time　as　they　did。　Then　the　Abbot　of　Turpenay

gracefully　delivered　himself　of　the　following　tale；　the　risky　passages

of　which　he　gave　in　a　low；　soft；　flute…like　voice：



About　a　hundred　years　ago　at　the　least；　there　occurred　great　quarrels

in　Christendom　because　there　were　two　popes　at　Rome；　each　one

pretending　to　be　legitimately　elected；　which　caused　great　annoyance　to

the　monasteries；　abbeys；　and　bishoprics；　since；　in　order　to　be

recognised　by　as　many　as　possible；　each　of　the　two　popes　granted

titles　and　rights　to　each　adherent；　the　which　made　double　owners

everywhere。　Under　these　circumstances；　the　monasteries　and　abbeys　that

were　at　war　with　their　neighbours　would　not　recognise　both　the　popes；

and　found　themselves　much　embarrassed　by　the　other；　who　always　gave

the　verdict　to　the　enemies　of　the　Chapter。　This　wicked　schism　brought

about　considerable　mischief；　and　proved　abundantly　that　error　is　worse

in　Christianity　than　the　adultery　of　the　Church。



Now　at　this　time；　when　the　devil　was　making　havoc　among　our

possessions；　the　most　illustrious　abbey　of　Turpenay；　of　which　I　am　at

present　the　unworthy　ruler；　had　a　heavy　trial　on　concerning　the

settlements　of　certain　rights　with　the　redoubtable　Sire　de　Cande；　an

idolatrous　infidel；　a　relapsed　heretic；　and　most　wicked　lord。　This

devil；　sent　upon　earth　in　the　shape　of　a　nobleman；　was；　to　tell　the

truth；　a　good　soldier；　well　received　at　court；　and　a　friend　of　the

Sieur　Bureau　de　la　Riviere；　who　was　a　person　to　whom　the　king　was

exceedingly　partialKing　Charles　the　Fifth；　of　glorious　memory。

Beneath　the　shelter　of　the　favour　of　this　Sieur　de　la　Riviere；　Lord　of

Cande　did　exactly　as　he　pleased　in　the　valley　of　the　Indre；　where　he

used　to　be　master　of　everything；　from　Montbazon　to　Usse。　You　may　be

sure　that　his　neighbours　were　terribly　afraid　of　him；　and　to　save

their　skulls　let　him　have　his　way。　They　would；　however；　have　preferred

him　under　the　ground　to　above　it；　and　heartily　wished　him　bad　luck；

but　he　troubled　himself　little　about　that。　In　the　whole　valley　the

noble　abbey　alone　showed　fight　to　this　demon；　for　it　has　always　been　a

doctrine　of　the　Church　to　take　into　her　lap　the　weak　and　suffering；

and　use　every　effort　to　protect　the　oppressed；　especially　those　whose

rights　and　privileges　are　menaced。



For　this　reason　this　rough　warrior　hated　monks　exceedingly；　especially

those　of　Turpenay；　who　would　not　allow　themselves　to　be　robbed　of

their　rights　either　by　force　or　stratagem。　He　was　well　pleased　at　the

ecclesiastical　schism；　and　waited　the　decision　of　our　abbey；

concerning　which　pope　they　should　choose；　to　pillage　them；　being　quite

ready　to　recognise　the　one　to　whom　the　abbot　of　Turpenay　should　refuse

his　obedience。　Since　his　return　to　his　castle；　it　was　his　custom　to

torment　and　annoy　the　priests　whom　he　encountered　upon　his　domains　in

such　a　manner；　that　a　poor　monk；　surprised　by　him　on　his　private　road；

which　was　by　the　water…side；　perceived　no　other　method　of　safety　then

to　throw　himself　into　the　river；　where；　by　a　special　miracle　of　the

Almighty；　whom　the　good　man　fervently　invoked；　his　gown　floated　him　on

the　Indre；　and　he　made　his　way　comfortably　to　the　other　side；　which　he

attained　in　full　view　of　the　lord　of　Cande；　who　was　not　ashamed　to

enjoy　the　terrors　of　a　servant　of　God。　Now　you　see　of　what　stuff　this

horrid　man　was　made。　The　abbot；　to　whom　at　that　time；　the　care　of　our

glorious　abbey　was　committed；　led　a　most　holy　life；　and　prayed　to　God

with　devotion；　but　he　would　have　saved　his　own　soul　ten　times；　of　such

good　quality　was　his　religion；　before　finding　a　chance　to　save　the

abbey　itself　from　the　clutches　of　this　wretch。　Although　he　was　very

perplexed；　and　saw　the　evil　hour　at　hand；　he　relied　upon　God　for

succour；　saying　that　he　would　never　allow　the　property　of　the　Church

to　be　touched；　and　that　He　who　had　raised　up　the　Princess　Judith　for

the　Hebrews；　and　Queen　Lucretia　for　the　Romans；　would　keep　his　most

illustrious　abbey　of　Turpenay；　and　indulged　in　other　equally　sapient

remarks。　But　his　monks；　whoto　our　shame　I　confess　itwere

unbelievers；　reproached　him　with　his　happy…go…lucky　way　of　looking　at

things；　and　declared　that；　to　bring　the　chariot　of　Providence　to　the

rescue　in　time；　all　the　oxen　in　the　province　would　have　to　be　yoked

it；　that　the　trumpets　of　Jericho　were　no　longer　made　in　any　portion　of

the　world；　that　God　was　disgusted　with　His　creation；　and　would　have

nothing　more　to　do　with　it：　in　short；　a　thousand　and　one　things　that

were　doubts　and　contumelies　against　God。



At　this　desperate　juncture　there　rose　up　a　monk　named　Amador。　This

name　had　been　given　him　by　way　of　a　joke；　since　his　person　offered　a

perfect　portrait　of　the　false　god　Aegipan。　He　was　like　him；　strong　in

the　stomach；　like　him；　had　crooked　legs；　arms　hairy　as　those　of　a

saddler；　a　back　made　to　carry　a　wallet；　a　face　as　red　as　the　phiz　of　a

drunkard；　glistening　eyes；　a　tangled　beard；　was　hairy　faced；　and　so

puffed　out　with　fat　and　meat　that　you　would　have　fancied　him　in　an

interesting　condition。　You　may　be　sure　that　he　sung　his　matins　on　the

steps　of　the　wine…cellar；　and　said　his　vespers　in　the　vineyards　of

Lord。　He　was　as　fond　of　his　bed　as　a　beggar　with　sores；　and　would　go

about　the　valley　fuddling；　faddling；　blessing　the　bridals；　plucking

the　grapes；　and　giving　them　to　the　girls　to　taste；　in　spite　of　the

prohibition　of　the　abbot。　In　fact；　he　was　a　pilferer；　a　loiterer；　and

a　bad　soldier　of　the　ecclesiastical　militia；　of　whom　nobody　in　the

abbey　took　any　notice；　but　let　him　do　as　he　liked　from　motives　of

Christian　charity；　thinking　him　mad。



Amador；　knowing　that　it　was　a　question　of　the　ruin　of　the　Abbey；　in

which　he　was　as　snug　as　a　bug　in　a　rug；　put　up　his　bristles；　took

notice　of　this　and　of　that；　went　into　each　of　the　cells；　listened　in

the　refectory；　shivered　in　his　shoes；　and　declared　that　he　would

attempt　to　save　the　abbey。　He　took　cognisance　of　the　contested　points；

received　from　the　abbot　permission　to　postpone　the　case；　and　was

promised　by　the　whole　Chapter　the　Office　of　sub…prior　if　he　succeeded

in　putting　an　end　to　the　litigation。　Then　he　set　off　across　the

country；　heedless　of　the　cruelty　and　ill…treatment　of　the　Sieur　de

Cande；　saying　that　he　had　that　within　his　gown　which　would　subdue　him。

He　went　his　way　with　nothing　but　the　said　gown　for　his　viaticum：　but

then　in　it　was　enough　fat　to　feed　a　dwarf。　He　selected　to　go　to　the

chateau；　a　day　when　it　rained　hard　enough　to　fill　the　tubs　of　all　the

housewives；　and　arrived　without　meeting　a　soul；　in　sight　of　Cande；　and

looking　like　a　drowned　dog；　stepped　bravely　into　the　courtyard；　and

took　shelter　under　a　sty…roof　to　wait　until　the　fury　of　the　elements

had　calmed　down；　and　placed　himself　boldly　in　front　of　the　room　where

the　owner　of　the　chateau　should　be。　A　servant　perceiving　him　while

laying　the　supper；　took　pity　on　him；　and　told　him　to　make　himself

scarce；　otherwise　his　master　would　give　him　a　horsewhipping；　just　to

open　the　conversation；　and　asked　him　what　made　him　so　bold　as　to　enter

a　house　where　monks　were　hated　more　than　a　red　leper。



〃Ah！〃　said　Amador；　〃I　am　on　my　way　to　Tours；　sent　thither　by　my　lord

abbot。　If　the　lord　of　Cande　were　not　so　bitter　against　the　poor

servant　of　God；　I　should　not　be　kept　during　such　a　deluge　in　the

courtyard；　but　in　the　house。　I　hope　that　he　will　find　mercy　in　his

hour　of　need。〃



The　servant　reported　these　words　to　his　master；　who　at　first　wished　to

have　the　monk　thrown　into　the　big　trough　of　the　castle　among　the　other

filth。　But　the　lady　of　Cande；　who　had　great　authority　over　her　spouse；

and　was　respected　by　him；　because　through　her　he　expected　a　large

inheritance；　and　because　she　was　a　little　tyrannical；　reprimanded　him；

saying；　that　it　was　possible　this　monk　was　a　Christian；　that　in　such

weather　thieves　would　succour　an　officer　of　justice；　that；　besides；　it

was　necessary　to　treat　him　well　to　find　out　to　what　decision　the

brethren　of　Turpenay　had　come　with　regard　to　the　schism　business；　and

that　her　advice　was　put　an　end　by　kindness　and　not　by　force　to　the

difficulties　arisen　between　the　abbey　and　the　domain　of　Cande；　because

no　lord　since　the　coming　of　Christ　had　ever　been　stronger　than　the

Church；　and　that　sooner　or　later　the　abbey　would　ruin　the　castle；

finally；　she　gave　utterance　to　a　thousand　wise　arguments；　such　as

ladies　use　in　the　height　of　the　storms　of　life；　when　they　have　had

about　enough　of　them。　Amador's　face　was　so　piteous；　his　appearance　so

wretched；　and　so　open　to　banter；　that　the　lord；　saddened　by　the

weather；　conceived　the　idea　of　enjoying　a　joke　at　his　expense；

tormenting　him；　playing　tricks　on　him；　and　of　giving　him　a　lively

recollection　of　his　reception　at　the　chateau。　Then　this　gentleman；　who

had　secret　relations　with　his　wife's　maid；　sent　this　girl；　who　was

called　Perrotte；　to　put　an　end　to　his　ill…will　towards　the　luckless

Amador。　As　soon　as　the　plot　had　been　arranged　between　them；　the　wench；

who　hated　monks；　in　order　to　please　her　master；　went　to　the　monk；　who

was　standing　under　the　pigsty；　assuming　a　courteous　demeanour　in　order

the　better　to　please　him；　said



〃Holy　father；　the　master　of　the　house　is　ashamed　to　see　a　servant　of

God　out　in　the　rain　when　there　is　room　for　him　indoors；　a　good　fire　in

the　chimney；　and　a　table　spread。　I　invite　you　in　his　name　and　that　of

the　lady　of　the　house　to　step　in。〃



〃I　thank　the　lady　and　lord；　not　for　their　hospitality　which　is　a

Christian　thing；　but　for　having　sent　as　an　ambassador　to　me；　a　poor

sinner；　an　angel　of　such　delicate　beauty　that　I　fancy　I　see　the　Virgin

over　our　altar。〃



Saying　which；　Amador　raised　his　nose　in　the　air；　and　saluted　with　the

two　flakes　of　fire　that　sparkled　in　his　bright　eyes　the　pretty

maidservant；　who　thought　him　neither　so　ugly　nor　so　foul；　nor　so

bestial；　when；　following　Perrotte　up　the　steps；　Amador　received　on　the

nose；　cheeks；　and　other　portions　of　his　face　a　slash　of　the　whip；

which　made　him　see　all　the　lights　of　the　Magnificat；　so　well　was　the

dose　administered　by　the　Sieur　de　Cande；　who；　busy　chastening　his

greyhounds　pretended　not　see　the　monk。　He　requested　Amador　to　pardon

him　this　accident；　and　ran　after　the　dogs　who　had　caused　the　mischief

to　his　guest。　The　laughing　servant；　who　knew　what　was　coming；　had

dexterously　kept　out　of　the　way。　Noticing　this　business；　Amador

suspected　the　relations　of　Perrotte　and　the　chevalier；　concerning　whom

it　is　possible　that　the　lasses　of　the　valley　had　already　whispered

something　into　his　ear。　Of　the　people　who　were　then　in　the　room　not

one　made　room　for　the　man　of　God；　who　remained　right　in　the　draught

between　the　door　and　the　window；　where　he　stood　freezing　until　the

moment　when　the　Sieur　de　Cande；　his　wife；　and　his　aged　sister；

Mademoiselle　de　Cande；　who　had　the　charge　of　the　young　heiress　of　the

house；　aged　about　sixteen　years；　came　and　sat　in　t