the magic skin(驴皮记)-第12章

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rustle　of　dead　leaves。　Rags　or　the　daintiest　finery　will　be　as　one　to
us　then；　the　ambergris　of　the　boudoir　will　breathe　an　odor　of　death
and　dry　bones；　and　suppose　there　is　a　heart　there　in　that　mud；　not　one
of　you　but　would　make　mock　of　it；　not　so　much　as　a　memory　will　you
spare　to　us。　Is　not　our　existence　precisely　the　same　whether　we　live
in　a　fine　mansion　with　lap…dogs　to　tend；　or　sort　rags　in　a　workhouse？
Does　it　make　much　difference　whether　we　shall　hide　our　gray　heads
beneath　lace　or　a　handkerchief　striped　with　blue　and　red；　whether　we
sweep　a　crossing　with　a　birch　broom；　or　the　steps　of　the　Tuileries
with　satins；　whether　we　sit　beside　a　gilded　hearth；　or　cower　over　the
ashes　in　a　red　earthen　pot；　whether　we　go　to　the　Opera　or　look　on　in
the　Place　de　Greve？〃

〃Aquilina　mia；　you　have　never　shown　more　sense　than　in　this　depressing
fit　of　yours；〃　Euphrasia　remarked。　〃Yes；　cashmere；　point　d'Alencon；
perfumes；　gold；　silks；　luxury；　everything　that　sparkles；　everything
pleasant；　belongs　to　youth　alone。　Time　alone　may　show　us　our　folly；
but　good　fortune　will　acquit　us。　You　are　laughing　at　me；〃　she　went　on；
with　a　malicious　glance　at　the　friends；　〃but　am　I　not　right？　I　would
sooner　die　of　pleasure　than　of　illness。　I　am　not　afflicted　with　a
mania　for　perpetuity；　nor　have　I　a　great　veneration　for　human　nature；
such　as　God　has　made　it。　Give　me　millions；　and　I　would　squander　them；
I　should　not　keep　one　centime　for　the　year　to　come。　Live　to　be
charming　and　have　power；　that　is　the　decree　of　my　every　heartbeat。
Society　sanctions　my　life；　does　it　not　pay　for　my　extravagances？　Why
does　Providence　pay　me　every　morning　my　income；　which　I　spend　every
evening？　Why　are　hospitals　built　for　us？　And　Providence　did　not　put
good　and　evil　on　either　hand　for　us　to　select　what　tires　and　pains　us。
I　should　be　very　foolish　if　I　did　not　amuse　myself。〃

〃And　how　about　others？〃　asked　Emile。

〃Others？　Oh；　well；　they　must　manage　for　themselves。　I　prefer　laughing
at　their　woes　to　weeping　over　my　own。　I　defy　any　man　to　give　me　the
slightest　uneasiness。〃

〃What　have　you　suffered　to　make　you　think　like　this？〃　asked　Raphael。

〃I　myself　have　been　forsaken　for　an　inheritance；〃　she　said；　striking
an　attitude　that　displayed　all　her　charms；　〃and　yet　I　had　worked　night
and　day　to　keep　my　lover！　I　am　not　to　be　gulled　by　any　smile　or　vow；
and　I　have　set　myself　to　make　one　long　entertainment　of　my　life。〃

〃But　does　not　happiness　come　from　the　soul　within？〃　cried　Raphael。

〃It　may　be　so；〃　Aquilina　answered；　〃but　is　it　nothing　to　be　conscious
of　admiration　and　flattery；　to　triumph　over　other　women；　even　over　the
most　virtuous；　humiliating　them　before　our　beauty　and　our　splendor？
Not　only　so；　one　day　of　our　life　is　worth　ten　years　of　a　bourgeoise
existence；　and　so　it　is　all　summed　up。〃

〃Is　not　a　woman　hateful　without　virtue？〃　Emile　said　to　Raphael。

Euphrasia's　glance　was　like　a　viper's；　as　she　said；　with　an　irony　in
her　voice　that　cannot　be　rendered：

〃Virtue！　we　leave　that　to　deformity　and　to　ugly　women。　What　would　the
poor　things　be　without　it？〃

〃Hush；　be　quiet；〃　Emile　broke　in。　〃Don't　talk　about　something　you　have
never　known。〃

〃That　I　have　never　known！〃　Euphrasia　answered。　〃You　give　yourself　for
life　to　some　person　you　abominate；　you　must　bring　up　children　who　will
neglect　you；　who　wound　your　very　heart；　and　you　must　say；　'Thank　you！'
for　it；　and　these　are　the　virtues　you　prescribe　to　woman。　And　that　is
not　enough。　By　way　of　requiting　her　self…denial；　you　must　come　and　add
to　her　sorrows　by　trying　to　lead　her　astray；　and　though　you　are
rebuffed；　she　is　compromised。　A　nice　life！　How　far　better　to　keep
one's　freedom；　to　follow　one's　inclinations　in　love；　and　die　young！〃

〃Have　you　no　fear　of　the　price　to　be　paid　some　day　for　all　this？〃

〃Even　then；〃　she　said；　〃instead　of　mingling　pleasures　and　troubles；　my
life　will　consist　of　two　separate　partsa　youth　of　happiness　is
secure；　and　there　may　come　a　hazy；　uncertain　old　age；　during　which　I
can　suffer　at　my　leisure。〃

〃She　has　never　loved；〃　came　in　the　deep　tones　of　Aquilina's　voice。
〃She　never　went　a　hundred　leagues　to　drink　in　one　look　and　a　denial
with　untold　raptures。　She　has　not　hung　her　own　life　on　a　thread；　nor
tried　to　stab　more　than　one　man　to　save　her　sovereign　lord；　her　king；
her　divinity。　。　。　。　Love；　for　her；　meant　a　fascinating　colonel。〃

〃Here　she　is　with　her　La　Rochelle；〃　Euphrasia　made　answer。　〃Love　comes
like　the　wind；　no　one　knows　whence。　And；　for　that　matter；　if　one　of
those　brutes　had　once　fallen　in　love　with　you；　you　would　hold　sensible
men　in　horror。〃

〃Brutes　are　put　out　of　the　question　by　the　Code；〃　said　the　tall；
sarcastic　Aquilina。

〃I　thought　you　had　more　kindness　for　the　army；〃　laughed　Euphrasia。

〃How　happy　they　are　in　their　power　of　dethroning　their　reason　in　this
way；〃　Raphael　exclaimed。

〃Happy？〃　asked　Aquilina；　with　dreadful　look；　and　a　smile　full　of　pity
and　terror。　〃Ah；　you　do　not　know　what　it　is　to　be　condemned　to　a　life
of　pleasure；　with　your　dead　hidden　in　your　heart。　。　。　。〃

A　moment's　consideration　of　the　rooms　was　like　a　foretaste　of　Milton's
Pandemonium。　The　faces　of　those　still　capable　of　drinking　wore　a
hideous　blue　tint；　from　burning　draughts　of　punch。　Mad　dances　were
kept　up　with　wild　energy；　excited　laughter　and　outcries　broke　out　like
the　explosion　of　fireworks。　The　boudoir　and　a　small　adjoining　room
were　strewn　like　a　battlefield　with　the　insensible　and　incapable。
Wine；　pleasure；　and　dispute　had　heated　the　atmosphere。　Wine　and　love；
delirium　and　unconsciousness　possessed　them；　and　were　written　upon　all
faces；　upon　the　furniture；　were　expressed　by　the　surrounding　disorder；
and　brought　light　films　over　the　vision　of　those　assembled；　so　that
the　air　seemed　full　of　intoxicating　vapor。　A　glittering　dust　arose；　as
in　the　luminous　paths　made　by　a　ray　of　sunlight；　the　most　bizarre
forms　flitted　through　it；　grotesque　struggles　were　seen　athwart　it。
Groups　of　interlaced　figures　blended　with　the　white　marbles；　the　noble
masterpieces　of　sculpture　that　adorned　the　rooms。

Though　the　two　friends　yet　preserved　a　sort　of　fallacious　clearness　in
their　ideas　and　voices；　a　feeble　appearance　and　faint　thrill　of
animation；　it　was　yet　almost　impossible　to　distinguish　what　was　real
among　the　fantastic　absurdities　before　them；　or　what　foundation　there
was　for　the　impossible　pictures　that　passed　unceasingly　before　their
weary　eyes。　The　strangest　phenomena　of　dreams　beset　them；　the　lowering
heavens；　the　fervid　sweetness　caught　by　faces　in　our　visions；　and
unheard…of　agility　under　a　load　of　chains；all　these　so　vividly；　that
they　took　the　pranks　of　the　orgy　about　them　for　the　freaks　of　some
nightmare　in　which　all　movement　is　silent；　and　cries　never　reach　the
ear。　The　valet　de　chambre　succeeded　just　then；　after　some　little
difficulty；　in　drawing　his　master　into　the　ante…chamber　to　whisper　to
him：

〃The　neighbors　are　all　at　their　windows；　complaining　of　the　racket；
sir。〃

〃If　noise　alarms　them；　why　don't　they　lay　down　straw　before　their
doors？〃　was　Taillefer's　rejoinder。

Raphael's　sudden　burst　of　laughter　was　so　unseasonable　and　abrupt；
that　his　friend　demanded　the　reason　of　his　unseemly　hilarity。

〃You　will　hardly　understand　me；〃　he　replied。　〃In　the　first　place；　I
must　admit　that　you　stopped　me　on　the　Quai　Voltaire　just　as　I　was
about　to　throw　myself　into　the　Seine；　and　you　would　like　to　know；　no
doubt；　my　motives　for　dying。　And　when　I　proceed　to　tell　you　that　by　an
almost　miraculous　chance　the　most　poetic　memorials　of　the　material
world　had　but　just　then　been　summed　up　for　me　as　a　symbolical
interpretation　of　human　wisdom；　whilst　at　this　minute　the　remains　of
all　the　intellectual　treasures　ravaged　by　us　at　table　are　comprised　in
these　two　women；　the　living　and　authentic　types　of　folly；　would　you　be
any　the　wiser？　Our　profound　apathy　towards　men　and　things　supplied　the
half…tones　in　a　crudely　contrasted　picture　of　two　theories　of　life　so
diametrically　opposed。　If　you　were　not　drunk；　you　might　perhaps　catch
a　gleam　of　philosophy　in　this。〃

〃And　if　you　had　not　both　feet　on　that　fascinating　Aquilina；　whose
heavy　breathing　suggests　an　analogy　with　the　sounds　of　a　storm　about
to　burst；〃　replied　Emile；　absently　engaged　in　the　harmless　amusement
of　winding　and　unwinding　Euphrasia's　hair；　〃you　would　be　ashamed　of
your　inebriated　garrulity。　Both　your　systems　can　be　packed　in　a
phrase；　and　reduced　to　a　single　idea。　The　mere　routine　of　living
brings　a　stupid　kind　of　wisdom　with　it；　by　blunting　our　intelligence
with　work；　and　on　the　other　hand；　a　life　passed　in　the　limbo　of　the
abstract　or　in　the　abysses　of　the　moral　world；　produces　a　sort　of
wisdom　run　mad。　The　conditions　may　be　summed　up　in　brief；　we　may
extinguish　emotion；　and　so　live　to　old　age；　or　we　may　choose　to　die
young　as　martyrs　to　contending　passions。　And　yet　this　decree　is　at
variance　with　the　temperaments　with　which　we　were　endowed　by　the
bitter　jester　who　modeled　all　creatures。〃

〃Idiot！〃　Raphael　burst　in。　〃Go　on　epitomizing　yourself　after　that
fashion；　and　you　will　fill　volumes。　If　I　attempted　to　formulate　those
two　ideas　clearly；　I　might　as　well　say　that　man　is　corrupted　by　the
exercise　of　his　wits；　and　purified　by　ignorance。　You　are　calling　the
whole　fabric　of　society　to　account。　But　whether　we　live　with　the　wise
or　perish　with　the　fool；　isn't　the　result　the　same　sooner　or　later？
And　have　not　the　prime　constituents　of　the　quintessence　of　both
systems　been　before　expressed　in　a　couple　of　wordsCarymary；
Carymara。〃

〃You　make　me　doubt　the　existence　of　a　God；　for　your　stupidity　is
greater　than　His　power；〃　said　Emile。　〃Our　beloved　Rabelais　summed　it
all　up　in　a　shorter　word　than　your　'Carymary；　Carymara'；　from　his
Peut…etre　Montaigne　derived　his　own　Que　sais…je？　After　all；　this　last
word　of　moral　science　is　scarcely　more　than　the　cry　of　Pyrrhus　set
betwixt　good　and　evil；　or　Buridan's　ass　between　the　two　measures　of
oats。　But　let　this　everlasting　question　alone；　resolved　to…day　by　a
'Yes'　and　a　'No。'　What　experience　did　you　look　to　find　by　a　jump　into
the　Seine？　Were　you　jealous　of　the　hydraulic　machine　on　the　Pont　Notre
Dame？〃

〃Ah；　if　you　but　knew　my　history！〃

〃Pooh；〃　said　Emile；　〃I　did　not　think　you　could　be　so　commonplace；　that
remark　is　hackneyed。　Don't　you　know　that　every　one　of　us　claims　to
have　suffered　as　no　other　ever　did？〃

〃Ah！〃　Raphael　sighed。

〃What　a　mountebank　art　thou　with　thy　'Ah'！　Look　here；　now。　Does　some
disease　of　the　mind　or　body；　by　contracting　your　muscles；　bring　back
of　a　morning　the　wild　horses　that　tear　you　in　pieces　at　night；　as　with
Damiens　once　upon　a　time？　Were　you　driven　to　sup　off　your　own　dog　in　a
garret；　uncooked　and　without　salt？　Have　your　children　ever　cried；　'I
am　hungry'？　Have　you　sold　your　mistress'　hair　to　hazard　the　money　at
play？　Have　you　ever　drawn　a　sham　bill　of　exchange　on　a　fictitious
uncle　at　a　sham　address；　and　feared　lest　you　should　not　be　in　time　to
take　it　up？　Come　now；　I　am　attending！　If　you　were　going　to　drown
yourself　for　some　woman；　or　by　way　of　a　protest；　or　out　of　sheer
dulness；　I　disown　you。　Make　your　confession；　and　no　lies！　I　don't　at
all　want　a　historical　memoir。　And；　above　all　things；　be　as　concise　as