the magic skin(驴皮记)-第18章

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me；　as　it　brings　the　scenes　of　our　childhood；　and　made　me　pause　to
muse　over　past　delicious　moments　that　softened　my　heart。　I　sometimes
saw　her；　the　adorable　girl　who　sat　quietly　sewing　at　my　table；　wrapped
in　her　meditations；　the　faint　light　from　my　window　fell　upon　her　and
was　reflected　back　in　silvery　rays　from　her　thick　black　hair；
sometimes　I　heard　her　young　laughter；　or　the　rich　tones　of　her　voice
singing　some　canzonet　that　she　composed　without　effort。　And　often　my
Pauline　seemed　to　grow　greater；　as　music　flowed　from　her；　and　her　face
bore　a　striking　resemblance　to　the　noble　one　that　Carlo　Dolci　chose
for　the　type　of　Italy。　My　cruel　memory　brought　her　back　athwart　the
dissipations　of　my　existence；　like　a　remorse；　or　a　symbol　of　purity。
But　let　us　leave　the　poor　child　to　her　own　fate。　Whatever　her　troubles
may　have　been；　at　any　rate　I　protected　her　from　a　menacing　tempestI
did　not　drag　her　down　into　my　hell。

〃Until　last　winter　I　led　the　uneventful　studious　life　of　which　I　have
given　you　some　faint　picture。　In　the　earliest　days　of　December　1829；　I
came　across　Rastignac；　who；　in　spite　of　the　shabby　condition　of　my
wardrobe；　linked　his　arm　in　mine；　and　inquired　into　my　affairs　with　a
quite　brotherly　interest。　Caught　by　his　engaging　manner；　I　gave　him　a
brief　account　of　my　life　and　hopes；　he　began　to　laugh；　and　treated　me
as　a　mixture　of　a　man　of　genius　and　a　fool。　His　Gascon　accent　and
knowledge　of　the　world；　the　easy　life　his　clever　management　procured
for　him；　all　produced　an　irresistible　effect　upon　me。　I　should　die　an
unrecognized　failure　in　a　hospital；　Rastignac　said；　and　be　buried　in　a
pauper's　grave。　He　talked　of　charlatanism。　Every　man　of　genius　was　a
charlatan；　he　plainly　showed　me　in　that　pleasant　way　of　his　that　makes
him　so　fascinating。　He　insisted　that　I　must　be　out　of　my　senses；　and
would　be　my　own　death；　if　I　lived　on　alone　in　the　Rue　des　Cordiers。
According　to　him；　I　ought　to　go　into　society；　to　accustom　people　to
the　sound　of　my　name；　and　to　rid　myself　of　the　simple　title　of
'monsieur'　which　sits　but　ill　on　a　great　man　in　his　lifetime。

〃　'Those　who　know　no　better；'　he　cried；　'call　this　sort　of　business
SCHEMING；　and　moral　people　condemn　it　for　a　〃dissipated　life。〃　We　need
not　stop　to　look　at　what　people　think；　but　see　the　results。　You　work；
you　say？　Very　good；　but　nothing　will　ever　come　of　that。　Now；　I　am
ready　for　anything　and　fit　for　nothing。　As　lazy　as　a　lobster？　Very
likely；　but　I　succeed　everywhere。　I　go　out　into　society；　I　push　myself
forward；　the　others　make　way　before　me；　I　brag　and　am　believed；　I
incur　debts　which　somebody　else　pays！　Dissipation；　dear　boy；　is　a
methodical　policy。　The　life　of　a　man　who　deliberately　runs　through　his
fortune　often　becomes　a　business　speculation；　his　friends；　his
pleasures；　patrons；　and　acquaintances　are　his　capital。　Suppose　a
merchant　runs　a　risk　of　a　million；　for　twenty　years　he　can　neither
sleep；　eat；　nor　amuse　himself；　he　is　brooding　over　his　million；　it
makes　him　run　about　all　over　Europe；　he　worries　himself；　goes　to　the
devil　in　every　way　that　man　has　invented。　Then　comes　a　liquidation；
such　as　I　have　seen　myself；　which　very　often　leaves　him　penniless　and
without　a　reputation　or　a　friend。　The　spendthrift；　on　the　other　hand；
takes　life　as　a　serious　game　and　sees　his　horses　run。　He　loses　his
capital；　perhaps；　but　he　stands　a　chance　of　being　nominated　Receiver…
General；　of　making　a　wealthy　marriage；　or　of　an　appointment　of　attache
to　a　minister　or　ambassador；　and　he　has　his　friends　left　and　his　name；
and　he　never　wants　money。　He　knows　the　standing　of　everybody；　and　uses
every　one　for　his　own　benefit。　Is　this　logical；　or　am　I　a　madman　after
all？　Haven't　you　there　all　the　moral　of　the　comedy　that　goes　on　every
day　in　this　world？　。　。　。　Your　work　is　completed'　he　went　on　after　a
pause；　'you　are　immensely　clever！　Well；　you　have　only　arrived　at　my
starting…point。　Now；　you　had　better　look　after　its　success　yourself；
it　is　the　surest　way。　You　will　make　allies　in　every　clique；　and　secure
applause　beforehand。　I　mean　to　go　halves　in　your　glory　myself；　I　shall
be　the　jeweler　who　set　the　diamonds　in　your　crown。　Come　here　to…morrow
evening；　by　way　of　a　beginning。　I　will　introduce　you　to　a　house　where
all　Paris　goes；　all　OUR　Paris；　that　isthe　Paris　of　exquisites；
millionaires；　celebrities；　all　the　folk　who　talk　gold　like　Chrysostom。
When　they　have　taken　up　a　book；　that　book　becomes　the　fashion；　and
if　it　is　something　really　good　for　once；　they　will　have　declared　it
to　be　a　work　of　genius　without　knowing　it。　If　you　have　any　sense；　my
dear　fellow；　you　will　ensure　the　success　of　your　〃Theory；〃　by　a
better　understanding　of　the　theory　of　success。　To…morrow　evening　you
shall　go　to　see　that　queen　of　the　momentthe　beautiful　Countess
Foedora。　。　。　。'

〃　'I　have　never　heard　of　her。　。　。　。'

〃　'You　Hottentot！'　laughed　Rastignac；　'you　do　not　know　Foedora？　A
great　match　with　an　income　of　nearly　eighty　thousand　livres；　who　has
taken　a　fancy　to　nobody；　or　else　no　one　has　taken　a　fancy　to　her。　A
sort　of　feminine　enigma；　a　half　Russian　Parisienne；　or　a　half　Parisian
Russian。　All　the　romantic　productions　that　never　get　published　are
brought　out　at　her　house；　she　is　the　handsomest　woman　in　Paris；　and
the　most　gracious！　You　are　not　even　a　Hottentot；　you　are　something
between　the　Hottentot　and　the　beast。　。　。　。　Good…bye　till　to…morrow。'

〃He　swung　round　on　his　heel　and　made　off　without　waiting　for　my
answer。　It　never　occurred　to　him　that　a　reasoning　being　could　refuse
an　introduction　to　Foedora。　How　can　the　fascination　of　a　name　be
explained？　FOEDORA　haunted　me　like　some　evil　thought；　with　which　you
seek　to　come　to　terms。　A　voice　said　in　me；　'You　are　going　to　see
Foedora！'　In　vain　I　reasoned　with　that　voice；　saying　that　it　lied　to
me；　all　my　arguments　were　defeated　by　the　name　'Foedora。'　Was　not　the
name；　and　even　the　woman　herself；　the　symbol　of　all　my　desires；　and
the　object　of　my　life？

〃The　name　called　up　recollections　of　the　conventional　glitter　of　the
world；　the　upper　world　of　Paris　with　its　brilliant　fetes　and　the
tinsel　of　its　vanities。　The　woman　brought　before　me　all　the　problems
of　passion　on　which　my　mind　continually　ran。　Perhaps　it　was　neither
the　woman　nor　the　name；　but　my　own　propensities；　that　sprang　up　within
me　and　tempted　me　afresh。　Here　was　the　Countess　Foedora；　rich　and
loveless；　proof　against　the　temptations　of　Paris；　was　not　this　woman
the　very　incarnation　of　my　hopes　and　visions？　I　fashioned　her　for
myself；　drew　her　in　fancy；　and　dreamed　of　her。　I　could　not　sleep　that
night；　I　became　her　lover；　I　overbrimmed　a　few　hours　with　a　whole
lifetimea　lover's　lifetime；　the　experience　of　its　prolific　delights
burned　me。

〃The　next　day　I　could　not　bear　the　tortures　of　delay；　I　borrowed　a
novel；　and　spent　the　whole　day　over　it；　so　that　I　could　not　possibly
think　nor　keep　account　of　the　time　till　night。　Foedora's　name　echoed
through　me　even　as　I　read；　but　only　as　a　distant　sound；　though　it
could　be　heard；　it　was　not　troublesome。　Fortunately；　I　owned　a　fairly
creditable　black　coat　and　a　white　waistcoat；　of　all　my　fortune　there
now　remained　abut　thirty　francs；　which　I　had　distributed　about　among
my　clothes　and　in　my　drawers；　so　as　to　erect　between　my　whims　and　the
spending　of　a　five…franc　piece　a　thorny　barrier　of　search；　and　an
adventurous　peregrination　round　my　room。　While　I　as　dressing；　I　dived
about　for　my　money　in　an　ocean　of　papers。　This　scarcity　of　specie　will
give　you　some　idea　of　the　value　of　that　squandered　upon　gloves　and
cab…hire；　a　month's　bread　disappeared　at　one　fell　swoop。　Alas！　money
is　always　forthcoming　for　our　caprices；　we　only　grudge　the　cost　of
things　that　are　useful　or　necessary。　We　recklessly　fling　gold　to　an
opera…dancer；　and　haggle　with　a　tradesman　whose　hungry　family　must
wait　for　the　settlement　of　our　bill。　How　many　men　are　there　that　wear
a　coat　that　cost　a　hundred　francs；　and　carry　a　diamond　in　the　head　of
their　cane；　and　dine　for　twenty…five　SOUS　for　all　that！　It　seems　as
though　we　could　never　pay　enough　for　the　pleasures　of　vanity。

〃Rastignac；　punctual　to　his　appointment；　smiled　at　the　transformation；
and　joked　about　it。　On　the　way　he　gave　me　benevolent　advice　as　to　my
conduct　with　the　countess；　he　described　her　as　mean；　vain；　and
suspicious；　but　though　mean；　she　was　ostentatious；　her　vanity　was
transparent；　and　her　mistrust　good…humored。

〃　'You　know　I　am　pledged；'　he　said；　'and　what　I　should　lose；　too；　if　I
tried　a　change　in　love。　So　my　observation　of　Foedora　has　been　quite
cool　and　disinterested；　and　my　remarks　must　have　some　truth　in　them。　I
was　looking　to　your　future　when　I　thought　of　introducing　you　to　her；
so　mind　very　carefully　what　I　am　about　to　say。　She　has　a　terrible
memory。　She　is　clever　enough　to　drive　a　diplomatist　wild；　she　would
know　it　at　once　if　he　spoke　the　truth。　Between　ourselves；　I　fancy　that
her　marriage　was　not　recognized　by　the　Emperor；　for　the　Russian
ambassador　began　to　smile　when　I　spoke　of　her；　he　does　not　receive　her
either；　and　only　bows　very　coolly　if　he　meets　her　in　the　Bois。　For　all
that；　she　is　in　Madame　de　Serizy's　set；　and　visits　Mesdames　de
Nucingen　and　de　Restaud。　There　is　no　cloud　over　her　here　in　France；
the　Duchesse　de　Carigliano；　the　most…strait…laced　marechale　in　the
whole　Bonapartist　coterie；　often　goes　to　spend　the　summer　with　her　at
her　country　house。　Plenty　of　young　fops；　sons　of　peers　of　France；　have
offered　her　a　title　in　exchange　for　her　fortune；　and　she　has　politely
declined　them　all。　Her　susceptibilities；　maybe；　are　not　to　be　touched
by　anything　less　than　a　count。　Aren't　you　a　marquis？　Go　ahead　if　you
fancy　her。　This　is　what　you　may　call　receiving　your　instructions。'

〃His　raillery　made　me　think　that　Rastignac　wished　to　joke　and　excite
my　curiosity；　so　that　I　was　in　a　paroxysm　of　my　extemporized　passion
by　the　time　that　we　stopped　before　a　peristyle　full　of　flowers。　My
heart　beat　and　my　color　rose　as　we　went　up　the　great　carpeted
staircase；　and　I　noticed　about　me　all　the　studied　refinements　of
English　comfort；　I　was　infatuatedly　bourgeois；　I　forgot　my　origin　and
all　my　personal　and　family　pride。　Alas！　I　had　but　just　left　a　garret；
after　three　years　of　poverty；　and　I　could　not　just　then　set　the
treasures　there　acquired　above　such　trifles　as　these。　Nor　could　I
rightly　estimate　the　worth　of　the　vast　intellectual　capital　which
turns　to　riches　at　the　moment　when　opportunity　comes　within　our　reach；
opportunity　that　does　not　overwhelm；　because　study　has　prepared　us　for
the　struggles　of　public　life。

〃I　found　a　woman　of　about　twenty…two　years　of　age；　she　was　of　average
height；　was　dressed　in　white；　and　held　a　feather　fire…screen　in　her
hand；　a　group　of　men　stood　around　her。　She　rose　at　the　sight　of
Rastignac；　and　came　towards　us　with　a　gracious　smile　and　a　musically…
uttered　compliment；　prepared　no　doubt　beforehand；　for　me。　Our　friend
had　spoken　of　me　as　a　rising　man；　and　his　clever　way　of　making　the
most　of　me　had　procured　me　this　flattering　reception。　I　was　confused
by　the　attention　that　every　one　paid　to　me；　but　Rastignac　had　luckily
mentioned　my　modesty。　I　was　brought　in　contact　with　scholars；　men　of
letters；　ex…ministers；　and　peers　of　France。　The　conversation