the black robe-第38章

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priest。　If　you　blame　anybody；　you　had　better　blame　me　for



respecting　his　confidence。〃







She　drew　back　from　him；　hurt　by　the　tone　in　which　he　spoke　to



her。　〃I　remember　the　time；　Lewis；〃　she　said；　〃when　you　would　have



been　more　indulgent　toward　my　errorseven　if　I　am　wrong。〃







That　simple　appeal　touched　his　better　nature。　〃I　don't　mean　to　be



hard　on　you；　Stella；〃　he　answered。　〃It　is　a　little　irritating　to



hear　you　say　that　you　distrust　the　most　devoted　and　most



affectionate　friend　that　man　ever　had。　Why　can't　I　love　my　wife；



and　love　my　friend；　too？　You　don't　know；　when　I　am　trying　to　get



on　with　my　book；　how　I　miss　the　help　and　sympathy　of　Penrose。　The



very　sound　of　his　voice　used　to　encourage　me。　Come；　Stella；　give



me　a　kissand　let　us；　as　the　children　say；　make　it　up！〃







He　rose　from　his　writing…table。　She　met　him　more　than　half　way；



and　pressed　all　her　loveand　perhaps　a　little　of　her　fearon



his　lips。　He　returned　the　kiss　as　warmly　as　it　was　given；　and



then；　unhappily　for　both　of　them；　he　went　back　to　the　subject。







〃My　own　love；〃　he　said；　〃try　to　like　my　friend　for　my　sake；　and



be　tolerant　of　other　forms　of　Christianity　besides　the　form　which



happens　to　be　yours。〃







Her　smiling　lips　closed；　she　turned　from　him。　With　the　sensitive



selfishness　of　a　woman's　love；　she　looked　on　Penrose　as　a　robber



who　had　stolen　the　sympathies　which　should　have　been　wholly　hers。



As　she　moved　away；　her　quick　observation　noticed　the　open　book　on



the　desk；　with　notes　and　lines　in　pencil　on　the　margin　of　the



page。　What　had　Romayne　been　reading　which　interested　him　in



_that_　way？　If　he　had　remained　silent；　she　would　have　addressed



the　inquiry　to　him　openly。　But　he　was　hurt　on　his　side　by　the



sudden　manner　of　her　withdrawal　from　him。　He　spokeand　his　tone



was　colder　than　ever。







〃I　won't　attempt　to　combat　your　prejudices；〃　he　said。　〃But　one



thing　I　must　seriously　ask　of　you。　When　my　friend　Penrose　comes



here　to…morrow；　don't　treat　him　as　you　treated　Mr。　Winterfield。〃







There　was　a　momentary　paleness　in　her　face　which　looked　like



fear；　but　it　passed　away　again。　She　confronted　him　firmly　with



steady　eyes。







〃Why　do　you　refer　again　to　that？〃　she　asked。　〃Is〃　（she



hesitated　and　recovered　herself）〃Is　Mr。　Winterfield　another



devoted　friend　of　yours？〃







He　walked　to　the　door；　as　if　he　could　hardly　trust　his　temper　if



he　answered　herstoppedand；　thinking　better　of　it；　turned



toward　her　again。







〃We　won't　quarrel；　Stella；〃　he　rejoined；　〃I　will　only　say　I　am



sorry　you　don't　appreciate　my　forbearance。　Your　reception　of　Mr。



Winterfield　has　lost　me　the　friendship　of　a　man　whom　I　sincerely



liked；　and　who　might　have　assisted　my　literary　labors。　You　were



ill　at　the　time；　and　anxious　about　Mrs。　Eyrecourt。　I　respected



your　devotion　to　your　mother。　I　remembered　your　telling　me；　when



you　first　went　away　to　nurse　her；　that　your　conscience　accused



you　of　having　sometimes　thoughtlessly　neglected　your　mother　in



her　days　of　health　and　good　spirits；　and　I　admired　the　motive　of



atonement　which　took　you　to　her　bedside。　For　those　reasons　I



shrank　from　saying　a　word　that　might　wound　you。　But；　because　I



was　silent；　it　is　not　the　less　true　that　you　surprised　and



disappointed　me。　Don't　do　it　again！　Whatever　you　may　privately



think　of　Catholic　priests；　I　once　more　seriously　request　you　not



to　let　Penrose　see　it。〃







He　left　the　room。







She　stood；　looking　after　him　as　he　closed　the　door；　like　a　woman



thunderstruck。　Never　yet　had　he　looked　at　her　as　he　looked　when



he　spoke　his　last　warning　words。　With　a　heavy　sigh　she　roused



herself。　The　vague　dread　with　which　his　tone　rather　than　his



words　had　inspired　her；　strangely　associated　itself　with　the



momentary　curiosity　which　she　had　felt　on　noticing　the　annotated



book　that　lay　on　his　desk。







She　snatched　up　the　volume　and　looked　at　the　open　page。　It



contained　the　closing　paragraphs　of　an　eloquent　attack　on



Protestantism；　from　the　Roman　Catholic　point　of　view。　With



trembling　hands　she　turned　back　to　the　title…page。　It　presented



this　written　inscription：　〃To　Lewis　Romayne　from　his　attached



friend　and　servant；　Arthur　Penrose。〃







〃God　help　me！〃　she　said　to　herself；　〃the　priest　has　got　between



us　already！〃







CHAPTER　II。







A　CHRISTIAN　JESUIT。







ON　the　next　day　Penrose　arrived　on　his　visit　to　Romayne。







The　affectionate　meeting　between　the　two　men　tested　Stella's



self…control　as　it　had　never　been　tried　yet。　She　submitted　to　the



ordeal　with　the　courage　of　a　woman　whose　happiness　depended　on



her　outward　graciousness　of　manner　toward　her　husband's　friend。



Her　reception　of　Penrose；　viewed　as　an　act　of　refined　courtesy；



was　beyond　reproach。　When　she　found　her　opportunity　of　leaving



the　room；　Romayne　gratefully　opened　the　door　for　her。　〃Thank



you！〃　he　whispered；　with　a　look　which　was　intended　to　reward　her。







She　only　bowed　to　him；　and　took　refuge　in　her　own　room。







Even　in　trifles；　a　woman's　nature　is　degraded　by　the　falsities　of



language　and　manner　which　the　artificial　condition　of　modern



society　exacts　from　her。　When　she　yields　herself　to　more　serious



deceptions；　intended　to　protect　her　dearest　domestic　interests；



the　mischief　is　increased　in　proportion。　Deceit；　which　is　the



natural　weapon　of　defense　used　by　the　weak　creature　against　the



strong；　then　ceases　to　be　confined　within　the　limits　assigned　by



the　sense　of　self…respect　and　by　the　restraints　of　education。　A



woman　in　this　position　will　descend；　self…　blinded；　to　acts　of



meanness　which　would　be　revolting　to　her　if　they　were　related　of



another　person。







Stella　had　already　begun　the　process　of　self…degradation　by



writing　secretly　to　Winterfield。　It　was　only　to　warn　him　of　the



danger　of　trusting　Father　Benwellbut　it　was　a　letter；　claiming



him　as　her　accomplice　in　an　act　of　deception。　That　morning　she



had　received　Penrose　with　the　outward　cordialities　of　welcome



which　are　offered　to　an　old　and　dear　friend。　And　now；　in　the　safe



solitude　of　her　room；　she　had　fallen　to　a　lower　depth　still。　She



was　deliberately　considering　the　safest　means　of　acquainting



herself　with　the　confidential　conversation　which　Romayne　and



Penrose　would　certainly　hold　when　she　left　them　together。　〃He



will　try　to　set　my　husband　against　me；　and　I　have　a　right　to　know



what　means　he　uses；　in　my　own　defense。〃　With　that　thought　she



reconciled　herself　to　an　action　which　she　would　have　despised　if



she　had　heard　of　it　as　the　action　of　another　woman。







It　was　a　beauti　ful　autumn　day；　brightened　by　clear　sunshine；



enlivened　by　crisp　air。　Stella　put　on　her　hat　and　went　out　for　a



stroll　in　the　grounds。







While　she　was　within　view　from　the　windows　of　the　servants'



offices　she　walked　away　from　the　house。　Turning　the　corner　of　a



shrubbery；　she　entered　a　winding　path；　on　the　other　side；　which



led　back　to　the　lawn　under　Romayne's　study　window。　Garden　chairs



were　placed　here　and　there。　She　took　one　of　them；　and　seated



herselfafter　a　last　moment　of　honorable　hesitationwhere　she



could　hear　the　men's　voices　through　the　open　window　above　her。







Penrose　was　speaking　at　the　time。







〃Yes。　Father　Benwell　has　granted　me　a　holiday；〃　he　said；　〃but　I



don't　come　here　to　be　an　idle　man。　You　must　allow　me　to　employ　my



term　of　leave　in　the　pleasantest　of　all　ways。　I　mean　to　be　your



secretary　again。〃







Romayne　sighed。　〃Ah；　if　you　knew　how　I　have　missed　you！〃







（Stella　waited；　in　breathless　expectation；　for　what　Penrose　would



say　to　this。　Would　he　speak　of　_her？_　No。　There　was　a　natural



tact　and　delicacy　in　him　which　waited　for　the　husband　to



introduce　the　subject。）







Penrose　only　said；　〃How　is　the　great　work　getting　on？〃







The　answer　was　sternly　spoken　in　one　word〃Badly！〃







〃I　am　surprised　to　hear　that；　Romayne。〃







〃Why？　Were　you　as　innocently　hopeful　as　I　was？　Did　you　expect　my



experience　of　married　life　to　help　me　in　writing　my　book？〃







Penrose　replied　after　a　pause；　speaking　a　little　sadly。　〃I



expected　your　married　life　to　encourage　you　in　all　your　highest



aspirations；〃　he　said。







（Stella　turned　pale　with　suppressed　anger。　He　had　spoken　with



perfect　sincerity。　The　unhappy　woman　believed　that　he　lied；　for



the　express　purpose　of　rousing　irritation　against　her；　in　her



husband's　irritable　mind。　She　listened　anxiously　for　Romayne's



answer。）







He　made　no　answer。　Penrose　changed　the　subject。　〃You　are　not



looking　very　well；〃　he　gently　resumed。　〃I　am　afraid　your　health



has　interfered　with　your　work。　Have　you　had　any　return？〃







It　was　still　one　of　the　characteristics　of　Romayne's　nervous



irritability　that　he　disliked　to　hear　the　terrible　delusion　of



the　Voice　referred　to　in　words。　〃Yes；〃　he　interposed　bitterly；　〃I



have　heard　it　again　and　again。　My　right　hand　is　as　red　as　ever；



Penrose；　with　the　blood　of　a　fellow…creature。　Another　destruction



of　my　illusions　when　I　married！〃







〃Romayne！　I　don't　like　to　hear　you　speak　of　your　marriage　in　that



way。〃







〃Oh；　very　well。　Let　us　go　back　to　my　book。　Perhaps　I　shall　get　on



better　with　it　now　you　are　here　to　help　me。　My　ambition　to　make　a



name　in　the　world　has　never　taken　so　strong　a　hold　on　me　（I　don't



know　why；　unless　other　disappointments　have　had　something　to　do



with　it）　as　at　this　time；　when　I　find　I　can't　give　my　mind　to　my



work。　We　will　make　a　last　effort　together；　my　friend！　If　it



fails；　we　will　put　my　manuscripts　into　the　fire；　and　I　will　try



some　other　career。　Politics　are　open　to　me。　Through　politics；　I



might　make　my　mark　in　diplomacy。　There　is　something　in　directing



the　destinies　of　nations　wonderfully　attractive　to　me　in　my



present　state　of　feeling。　I　hate　the　idea　of　being　indebted　for



my　position　in　the　world；　like　the　veriest　fool　living；　to　the



accidents　of　birth　and　fortune。　Are　_you_　content　with　the



obscure　life　that　you　lead？　Did　you　not　envy　that　priest　（he　is



no　older　than　I　am）　who　was　sent　the　other　day　as　the　Pope's



ambassador　to　Portugal？〃







Penrose　spoke　out　at　last　without　hesitation。　〃You　are　in　a



thoroughly　unwholesome　state　of　mind；〃　he　said。







Romayne　laughed　recklessly。　〃When　was　I　ever　in　a　healthy　state