little novels-第25章

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en　I　heard　these　words　behind　mespoken　in　a　foreign　accent　and　in　a　woman's　voice：

〃Leave　me　directly；　sir！　I　wish　to　have　nothing　to　say　to　you。〃

I　turned　round　and　discovered　a　little　lady　very　simply　and　tastefully　dressed；　who　looked　both　angry　and　alarmed　as　she　rapidly　passed　me　on　her　way　to　the　more　frequented　part　of　the　Gardens。　A　man　（evidently　the　worse　for　the　wine　he　had　drunk　in　the　course　of　the　evening）　was　following　her；　and　was　pressing　his　tipsy　attentions　on　her　with　the　coarsest　insolence　of　speech　and　manner。　She　was　young　and　pretty；　and　she　cast　one　entreating　look　at　me　as　she　went　by；　which　it　was　not　in　manhoodperhaps　I　ought　to　say；　in　young…manhoodto　resist。

I　instantly　stepped　forward　to　protect　her；　careless　whether　I　involved　myself　in　a　discreditable　quarrel　with　a　blackguard　or　not。　As　a　matter　of　course；　the　fellow　resented　my　interference；　and　my　temper　gave　way。　Fortunately　for　me；　just　as　I　lifted　my　hand　to　knock　him　down；　at　policeman　appeared　who　had　noticed　that　he　was　drunk；　and　who　settled　the　dispute　officially　by　turning　him　out　of　the　Gardens。

I　led　her　away　from　the　crowd　that　had　collected。　She　was　evidently　frightenedI　felt　her　hand　trembling　on　my　armbut　she　had　one　great　merit；　she　made　no　fuss　about　it。

〃If　I　can　sit　down　for　a　few　minutes；〃　she　said　in　her　pretty　foreign　accent；　〃I　shall　soon　be　myself　again；　and　I　shall　not　trespass　any　further　on　your　kindness。　I　thank　you　very　much；　sir；　for　taking　care　of　me。〃

We　sat　down　on　a　bench　in　a　retired　par　t　of　the　Gardens；　near　a　little　fountain。　A　row　of　lighted　lamps　ran　round　the　outer　rim　of　the　basin。　I　could　see　her　plainly。

I　have　said　that　she　was　〃a　little　lady。〃　I　could　not　have　described　her　more　correctly　in　three　words。

Her　figure　was　slight　and　small：　she　was　a　well…made　miniature　of　a　woman　from　head　to　foot。　Her　hair　and　her　eyes　were　both　dark。　The　hair　curled　naturally；　the　expression　of　the　eyes　was　quiet；　and　rather　sad；　the　complexion；　as　I　then　saw　it；　very　pale；　the　little　mouth　perfectly　charming。　I　was　especially　attracted；　I　remembered；　by　the　carriage　of　her　head；　it　was　strikingly　graceful　and　spirited；　it　distinguished　her；　little　as　she　was　and　quiet　as　she　was；　among　the　thousands　of　other　women　in　the　Gardens；　as　a　creature　apart。　Even　the　one　marked　defect　in　hera　slight　〃cast〃　in　the　left　eyeseemed　to　add；　in　some　strange　way；　to　the　quaint　attractiveness　of　her　face。　I　have　already　spoken　of　the　tasteful　simplicity　of　her　dress。　I　ought　now　to　add　that　it　was　not　made　of　any　costly　material；　and　that　she　wore　no　jewels　or　ornaments　of　any　sort。　My　little　lady　was　not　rich；　even　a　man's　eye　could　see　that。

She　was　perfectly　unembarrassed　and　unaffected。　We　fell　as　easily　into　talk　as　if　we　had　been　friends　instead　of　strangers。

I　asked　how　it　was　that　she　had　no　companion　to　take　care　of　her。　〃You　are　too　young　and　too　pretty；〃　I　said　in　my　blunt　English　way；　〃to　trust　yourself　alone　in　such　a　place　as　this。〃

She　took　no　notice　of　the　compliment。　She　calmly　put　it　away　from　her　as　if　it　had　not　reached　her　ears。

〃I　have　no　friend　to　take　care　of　me；〃　she　said　simply。　〃I　was　sad　and　sorry　this　evening；　all　by　myself；　and　I　thought　I　would　go　to　the　Gardens　and　hear　the　music；　just　to　amuse　me。　It　is　not　much　to　pay　at　the　gate；　only　a　shilling。〃

〃No　friend　to　take　care　of　you？〃　I　repeated。　〃Surely　there　must　be　one　happy　man　who　might　have　been　here　with　you　to…night？〃

〃What　man　do　you　mean？〃　she　asked。

〃The　man；〃　I　answered　thoughtlessly；　〃whom　we　call；　in　England；　a　Sweetheart。〃

I　would　have　given　worlds　to　have　recalled　those　foolish　words　the　moment　they　passed　my　lips。　I　felt　that　I　had　taken　a　vulgar　liberty　with　her。　Her　face　saddened；　her　eyes　dropped　to　the　ground。　I　begged　her　pardon。

〃There　is　no　need　to　beg　my　pardon；〃　she　said。　〃If　you　wish　to　know；　siryes；　I　had　once　a　sweetheart；　as　you　call　it　in　England。　He　has　gone　away　and　left　me。　No　more　of　him；　if　you　please。　I　am　rested　now。　I　will　thank　you　again；　and　go　home。〃

She　rose　to　leave　me。

I　was　determined　not　to　part　with　her　in　that　way。　I　begged　to　be　allowed　to　see　her　safely　back　to　her　own　door。　She　hesitated。　I　took　a　man's　unfair　advantage　of　her；　by　appealing　to　her　fears。　I　said；　〃Suppose　the　blackguard　who　annoyed　you　should　be　waiting　outside　the　gates？〃　That　decided　her。　She　took　my　arm。　We　went　away　together　by　the　bank　of　the　Thames；　in　the　balmy　summer　night。

A　walk　of　half　an　hour　brought　us　to　the　house　in　which　she　lodgeda　shabby　little　house　in　a　by…street；　inhabited　evidently　by　very　poor　people。

She　held　out　her　hand　at　the　door；　and　wished　me　good…night。　I　was　too　much　interested　in　her　to　consent　to　leave　my　little　foreign　lady　without　the　hope　of　seeing　her　again。　I　asked　permission　to　call　on　her　the　next　day。　We　were　standing　under　the　light　of　the　street…lamp。　She　studied　my　face　with　a　grave　and　steady　attention　before　she　made　any　reply。

〃Yes；〃　she　said　at　last。　〃I　think　I　do　know　a　gentleman　when　I　see　him。　You　may　come；　sir；　if　you　please；　and　call　upon　me　to…morrow。〃

So　we　parted。　So　I　entereddoubting　nothing；　foreboding　nothingon　a　scene　in　my　life　which　I　now　look　back　on　with　unfeigned　repentance　and　regret。

III。

I　AM　speaking　at　this　later　time　in　the　position　of　a　clergyman；　and　in　the　character　of　a　man　of　mature　age。　Remember　that；　and　you　will　understand　why　I　pass　as　rapidly　as　possible　over　the　events　of　the　next　year　of　my　lifewhy　I　say　as　little　as　I　can　of　the　errors　and　the　delusions　of　my　youth。

I　called　on　her　the　next　day。　I　repeated　my　visits　during　the　days　and　weeks　that　followed；　until　the　shabby　little　house　in　the　by…street　had　become　a　second　and　（I　say　it　with　shame　and　self…reproach）　a　dearer　home　to　me。

All　of　herself　and　her　story　which　she　thought　fit　to　confide　to　me　under　these　circumstances　may　be　repeated　to　you　in　few　words。

The　name　by　which　letters　were　addressed　to　her　was　〃Mademoiselle　Jeromette。〃　Among　the　ignorant　people　of　the　house　and　the　small　tradesmen　of　the　neighborhoodwho　found　her　name　not　easy　of　pronunciation　by　the　average　English　tongueshe　was　known　by　the　friendly　nickname　of　〃The　French　Miss。〃　When　I　knew　her；　she　was　resigned　to　her　lonely　life　among　strangers。　Some　years　had　elapsed　since　she　had　lost　her　parents；　and　had　left　France。　Possessing　a　small；　very　small；　income　of　her　own；　she　added　to　it　by　coloring　miniatures　for　the　photographers。　She　had　relatives　still　living　in　France；　but　she　had　long　since　ceased　to　correspond　with　them。　〃Ask　me　nothing　more　about　my　family；〃　she　used　to　say。　〃I　am　as　good　as　dead　in　my　own　country　and　among　my　own　people。〃

This　was　allliterally　allthat　she　told　me　of　herself。　I　have　never　discovered　more　of　her　sad　story　from　that　day　to　this。

She　never　mentioned　her　family　namenever　even　told　me　what　part　of　France　she　came　from　or　how　long　she　had　lived　in　England。　That　she　was　by　birth　and　breeding　a　lady；　I　could　entertain　no　doubt；　her　manners；　her　accomplishments；　her　ways　of　thinking　and　speaking；　all　proved　it。　Looking　below　the　surface；　her　character　showed　itself　in　aspects　not　common　among　young　women　in　these　days。　In　her　quiet　way　she　was　an　incurable　fatalist；　and　a　firm　believer　in　the　ghostly　reality　of　apparitions　from　the　dead。　Then　again　in　the　matter　of　money；　she　had　strange　views　of　her　own。　Whenever　my　purse　was　in　my　hand；　she　held　me　resolutely　at　a　distance　from　first　to　last。　She　refused　to　move　into　better　apartments；　the　shabby　little　house　was　clean　inside；　and　the　poor　people　who　lived　in　it　were　kind　to　herand　that　was　enough。　The　most　expensive　present　that　she　ever　permitted　me　to　offer　her　was　a　little　enameled　ring；　the　plainest　and　cheapest　thing　of　the　kind　in　the　jeweler's　shop。　In　all　relations　with　me　she　was　sincerity　itself。　On　all　occasions；　and　under　all　circumstances；　she　spoke　her　mind　（as　the　phrase　is）　with　the　same　uncompromising　plainness。

〃I　like　you；〃　she　said　to　me；　〃I　respect　you；　I　shall　always　be　faithful　to　you　while　you　are　faithful　to　me。　But　my　love　has　gone　from　me。　There　is　another　man　who　has　taken　it　away　with　him；　I　know　not　where。〃

Who　was　the　other　man？

She　refused　to　tell　me。　She　kept　his　rank　and　his　name　strict　secrets　from　me。　I　never　discovered　how　he　had　met　with　her；　or　why　he　had　left　her；　or　whether　the　guilt　was　his　of　making　of　her　an　exile　from　her　country　and　her　friends。　She　despised　herself　for　still　loving　him；　but　the　passion　was　too　strong　for　hershe　owned　it　and　lamented　it　with　the　frankness　which　was　so　preeminently　a　part　of　her　character。　More　than　this；　she　plainly　told　me；　in　the　early　days　of　our　acquaintance；　that　she　believed　he　would　return　to　her。　It　might　be　to…morrow；　or　it　might　be　years　hence。　Even　if　he　failed　to　repent　of　his　own　cruel　conduct；　the　man　would　still　miss　her；　as　something　lost　out　of　his　life；　and；　sooner　or　later；　he　would　come　back。

〃And　will　you　receive　him　if　he　does　come　back？〃　I　asked。

〃I　shall　receive　him；〃　she　replied；　〃against　my　own　better　judgmentin　spite　of　my　own　firm　persuasion　that　the　day　of　his　return　to　me　will　bring　with　it　the　darkest　days　of　my　life。〃

I　tried　to　remonstrate　with　her。

〃You　have　a　will　of　your　own；〃　I　said。　〃Exert　it　if　he　attempts　to　return　to　you。〃

〃I　have　no　will　of　my　own；〃　she　answered　quietly；　〃where　_he_　is　concerned。　It　is　my　misfortune　to　love　him。〃　Her　eyes　rested　for　a　moment　on　mine；　with　the　utter　self…abandonment　of　despair。　〃We　have　said　enough　about　this；〃　she　added　abruptly。　〃Let　us　say　no　more。〃

From　that　time　we　never　spoke　again　of　the　unknown　man。　During　the　year　that　followed　o　ur　first　meeting；　she　heard　nothing　of　him　directly　or　indirectly。　He　might　be　living；　or　he　might　be　dead。　There　came　no　word　of　him；　or　from　him。　I　was　fond　enough　of　her　to　be　satisfied　with　thishe　never　disturbed　us。

IV。

　THE　year　passedand　the　end　came。　Not　the　end　as　you　may　have　anticipated　it；　or　as　I　might　have　foreboded　it。

You　remember　the　time　when　your　letters　from　home　informed　you　of　the　fatal　termination　of　our　mother's　illness？　It　is　the　time　of　which　I　am　now　speaking。　A　few　hours　only　before　she　breathed　her　last；　she　called　me　to　her　bedside；　and　desired　that　we　might　be　left　together　alone。　Reminding　me　that　her　death　was　near；　she　spoke　of　my　prospects　in　life；　she　noticed　my　want　of　interest　in　the　studies　which　were　then　supposed　to　be　engaging　my　attention；　and　she　ended　by　entreating　me　to　reconsider　my　refusal　to　enter　the　Church。

〃Your　father's　heart　is　set　upon　it；〃　she　said。　〃Do　what　I　ask　of　you；　my　dear；　and　you　will　help　to　comfort　him　when　I　am　gone。〃

Her　strength　failed　her：　she　could　say　no　more。　Could　I　refuse　the　last　request　she　would　ever　make　to　me？　I　knelt　at　the　bedside；　and　took　her　wasted　hand　in　mine；　and　solemnly　promised　her　the　respect　which　a　son　owes　to　his　mother's　last　wishes。

Having　bound　myself　by　this　sacred　engagement；　I　had　no　choice　but　to　accept　the　sacrifice　which　it　imperatively　exacted　from　me。　The　time　had　come　when　I　must　tear　myself　free　from　all　unworthy　associations。　No　matter　what　the　effort　cost　me；　I　must　separate　myself　at　once　and　forever　from　the　unhappy　woman　who　was