little novels-第27章

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e　UniversitiesI　wish　to　show；　if　I　can；　that　I　am　not　quite　unworthy　to　inherit　my　father's　famous　name。　You　are　the　man　to　help　me；　if　I　can　only　persuade　you　to　do　it。　I　was　struck　by　your　sermon　yesterday；　and；　if　I　may　venture　to　make　the　confession　in　your　presence；　I　took　a　strong　liking　to　you。　Will　you　see　my　father；　before　you　decide　to　say　No？　He　will　be　able　to　explain　whatever　may　seem　strange　in　my　present　application；　and　he　will　be　happy　to　see　you　this　afternoon；　if　you　can　spare　the　time。　As　to　the　question　of　terms；　I　am　quite　sure　it　can　be　settled　to　your　entire　satisfaction。〃

He　was　evidently　in　earnestgravely；　vehemently　in　earnest。　I　unwillingly　consented　to　see　his　father。

Our　interview　was　a　long　one。　All　my　questions　were　answered　fully　and　frankly。

The　young　man　had　led　an　idle　and　desultory　life。　He　was　weary　of　it；　and　ashamed　of　it。　His　disposition　was　a　peculiar　one。　He　stood　sorely　in　need　of　a　guide；　a　teacher；　and　a　friend；　in　whom　he　was　disposed　to　confide。　If　I　disappointed　the　hopes　which　he　had　centered　in　me；　he　would　be　discouraged；　and　he　would　relapse　into　the　aimless　and　indolent　existence　of　which　he　was　now　ashamed。　Any　terms　for　which　I　might　stipulate　were　at　my　disposal　if　I　would　consent　to　receive　him；　for　three　months　to　begin　with；　on　trial。

Still　hesitating；　I　consulted　my　father　and　my　friends。

They　were　all　of　opinion　（and　justly　of　opinion　so　far）　that　the　new　connection　would　be　an　excellent　one　for　me。　They　all　reproached　me　for　taking　a　purely　capricious　dislike　to　a　well…born　and　well…bred　young　man；　and　for　permitting　it　to　influence　me；　at　the　outset　of　my　career；　against　my　own　interests。　Pressed　by　these　considerations；　I　allowed　myself　to　be　persuaded　to　give　the　new　pupil　a　fair　trial。　He　accompanied　me；　the　next　day；　on　my　way　back　to　the　rectory。

VII。

LET　me　be　careful　to　do　justice　to　a　man　whom　I　personally　disliked。　My　senior　pupil　began　well：　he　produced　a　decidedly　favorable　impression　on　the　persons　attached　to　my　little　household。

The　women；　especially；　admired　his　beautiful　light　hair；　his　crisply…curling　beard；　his　delicate　complexion；　his　clear　blue　eyes；　and　his　finely　shaped　hands　and　feet。　Even　the　inveterate　reserve　in　his　manner；　and　the　downcast；　almost　sullen；　look　which　had　prejudiced　_me_　against　him；　aroused　a　common　feeling　of　romantic　enthusiasm　in　my　servants'　hall。　It　was　decided；　on　the　high　authority　of　the　housekeeper　herself；　that　〃the　new　gentleman〃　was　in　loveand；　more　interesting　still；　that　he　was　the　victim　of　an　unhappy　attachment　which　had　driven　him　away　from　his　friends　and　his　home。

For　myself；　I　tried　hard；　and　tried　vainly；　to　get　over　my　first　dislike　to　the　senior　pupil。

I　could　find　no　fault　with　him。　All　his　habits　were　quiet　and　regular；　and　he　devoted　himself　conscientiously　to　his　reading。　But；　little　by　little；　I　became　satisfied　that　his　heart　was　not　in　his　studies。　More　than　this；　I　had　my　reasons　for　suspecting　that　he　was　concealing　something　from　me；　and　that　he　felt　painfully　the　reserve　on　his　own　part　which　he　could　not；　or　dared　not；　break　through。　There　were　moments　when　I　almost　doubted　whether　he　had　not　chosen　my　remote　country　rectory　as　a　safe　place　of　refuge　from　some　person　or　persons　of　whom　he　stood　in　dread。

For　example；　his　ordinary　course　of　proceeding；　in　the　matter　of　his　correspondence；　was；　to　say　the　least　of　it；　strange。

He　received　no　letters　at　my　house。　They　waited　for　him　at　the　village　post　office。　He　invariably　called　for　them　himself；　and　invariably　forbore　to　trust　any　of　my　servants　with　his　own　letters　for　the　post。　Again；　when　we　were　out　walking　together；　I　more　than　once　caught　him　looking　furtively　over　his　shoulder；　as　if　he　suspected　some　person　of　following　him；　for　some　evil　purpose。　Being　constitutionally　a　hater　of　mysteries；　I　determined；　at　an　early　stage　of　our　intercourse；　on　making　an　effort　to　clear　matters　up。　There　might　be　just　a　chance　of　my　winning　the　senior　pupil's　confidence；　if　I　spoke　to　him　while　the　last　days　of　the　summer　vacation　still　left　us　alone　together　in　the　house。

〃Excuse　me　for　noticing　it；〃　I　said　to　him　one　morning；　while　we　were　engaged　over　our　books〃I　cannot　help　observing　that　you　appear　to　have　some　trouble　on　your　mind。　Is　it　indiscreet；　on　my　part；　to　ask　if　I　can　be　of　any　use　to　you？〃

He　changed　colorlooked　up　at　me　quicklylooked　down　again　at　his　bookstruggled　hard　with　some　secret　fear　or　secret　reluctance　that　was　in　himand　suddenly　burst　out　with　this　extraordinary　question：　〃I　suppose　you　were　in　earnest　when　you　preached　that　sermon　in　London？〃

〃I　am　astonished　that　you　should　doubt　it；〃　I　replied。

He　paused　again；　struggled　with　himself　again；　and　startled　me　by　a　second　outbreak；　even　stranger　than　the　first。

〃I　am　one　of　the　people　you　preached　at　in　your　sermon；〃　he　said。　〃That's　the　true　reason　why　I　asked　you　to　take　me　for　your　pupil。　Don't　turn　me　out！　When　you　talked　to　your　congregation　of　tortured　and　tempted　people；　you　talked　of　Me。〃

I　was　so　astonished　by　the　confession；　that　I　lost　my　presence　of　mind。　For　the　moment；　I　was　unable　to　answer　him。

〃Don't　turn　me　out！〃　he　repeated。　〃Help　me　against　myself。　I　am　telling　you　the　truth。　As　God　is　my　witness；　I　am　telling　you　the　truth！〃

〃Tell　me　the　_whole_　truth；〃　I　said；　〃and　rely　on　my　consoling　and　helping　yourely　on　my　being　your　friend。〃

In　the　fervor　of　the　moment；　I　took　his　hand。　It　lay　cold　and　still　in　mine；　it　mutely　warned　me　that　I　had　a　sullen　and　a　secret　nature　to　deal　with。

〃There　must　be　no　concealment　between　us；〃　I　resumed。　〃You　have　entered　my　house；　by　your　own　confession；　under　false　pretenses。　It　is　your　duty　to　me；　and　your　duty　to　yourself；　to　speak　out。〃

The　man's　inveterate　reservecast　off　for　the　moment　onlyrenewed　its　hold　on　him。　He　considered；　carefully　considered；　his　next　words　before　he　permitted　them　to　pass　his　lips。

〃A　person　is　in　the　way　of　my　prospects　in　life；〃　he　began　slowly；　with　his　eyes　cast　down　on　his　book。　〃A　person　provokes　me　horribly。　I　feel　dreadful　temptations　（like　the　man　you　spoke　of　in　your　sermon）　when　I　am　in　the　person's　company。　Teach　me　to　resist　temptation。　I　am　afraid　of　myself；　if　I　see　the　person　again。　You　are　the　only　man　who　can　help　me。　Do　it　while　you　can。〃

He　stopped；　and　passed　his　handkerchief　over　his　forehead。

〃Will　that　do？〃　he　askedstill　with　his　eyes　on　his　book。

〃It　will　_not_　do；〃　I　answered。　〃You　are　so　far　from　really　opening　your　heart　to　me；　that　you　won't　even　let　me　know　whether　it　is　a　man　or　a　woman　who　stands　in　the　way　of　your　prospects　in　life。　You　used　the　word　'person；'　over　and　over　againrather　than　say　'he'　or　'she'　when　you　speak　of　the　provocation　which　is　trying　you。　How　can　I　help　a　man　who　has　so　little　confidence　in　me　as　that？〃

My　reply　evidently　found　him　at　the　end　of　his　resources。　He　tried；　tried　desperately；　to　say　more　than　he　had　said　yet。　No！　The　words　seemed　to　stick　in　his　throat。　Not　one　of　them　would　pass　his　lips。

〃Give　me　time；〃　he　pleaded　piteously。　〃I　can't　bring　myself　to　it；　all　at　once。　I　mean　well。　Upon　my　soul；　I　mean　well。　But　I　am　slow　at　this　sort　of　thing。　Wait　till　to…morrow。〃

To…morrow　cameand　again　he　put　it　off。

〃One　more　day！〃　he　said。　〃You　don't　know　how　hard　it　is　to　speak　plainly。　I　am　half　afraid；　I　am　half　ashamed。　Give　me　one　more　day。〃

I　had　hitherto　only　disliked　him。　Try　as　I　might　（and　did）　to　make　merciful　allowance　for　his　reserve；　I　began　to　despise　him　now。

VIII。

THE　day　of　the　deferred　confession　came；　and　brought　an　event　with　it；　for　which　both　he　and　I　were　alike　unprepared。　Would　he　really　have　confided　in　me　but　for　that　event？　He　must　either　have　done　it；　or　have　abandoned　the　purpose　which　had　led　him　into　my　house。

We　met　as　usual　at　the　breakfast…table。　My　housekeeper　brought　in　my　letters　of　the　morning。　To　my　surprise；　instead　of　leaving　the　room　again　as　usual；　she　walked　round　to　the　other　side　of　the　table；　and　laid　a　letter　before　my　senior　pupilthe　first　letter；　since　his　residence　with　me；　which　had　been　delivered　to　him　under　my　roof。

He　started；　and　took　up　the　letter。　He　looked　at　the　address。　A　spasm　of　suppressed　fury　passed　across　his　face；　his　breath　came　quickly；　his　hand　trembled　as　it　held　the　letter。　So　far；　I　said　nothing。　I　waited　to　see　whether　he　would　open　the　envelope　in　my　presence　or　not。

He　was　afraid　to　open　it　in　my　presence。　He　got　on　his　feet；　he　said；　in　tones　so　low　that　I　could　barely　hear　him：　〃Please　excuse　me　for　a　minute〃and　left　the　room。

I　waited　for　half　an　hourfor　a　quarter　of　an　hour　after　thatand　then　I　sent　to　ask　if　he　had　forgotten　his　breakfast。

In　a　minute　more；　I　heard　his　footstep　in　the　hall。　He　opened　the　breakfast…room　door；　and　stood　on　the　threshold；　with　a　small　traveling…bag　in　his　hand。

〃I　beg　your　pardon；〃　he　said；　still　standing　at　the　door。　〃I　must　ask　for　leave　of　absence　for　a　day　or　two。　Business　in　London。〃

〃Can　I　be　of　any　use？〃　I　asked。　〃I　am　afraid　your　letter　has　brought　you　bad　news？〃

〃Yes；〃　he　said　shortly。　〃Bad　news。　I　have　no　time　for　breakfast。〃

〃Wait　a　few　minutes；〃　I　urged。　〃Wait　long　enough　to　treat　me　like　your　friendto　tell　me　what　your　trouble　is　before　you　go。〃

He　made　no　reply。　He　stepped　into　the　hall　and　closed　the　doorthen　opened　it　again　a　little　way；　without　showing　himself。

〃Business　in　London；〃　he　repeatedas　if　he　thought　it　highly　important　to　inform　me　of　the　nature　of　his　errand。　The　door　closed　for　the　second　time。　He　was　gone。

I　went　into　my　study；　and　carefully　considered　what　had　happened。

The　result　of　my　reflections　is　easily　described。　I　determined　on　discontinuing　my　relations　with　my　senior　pupil。　In　writing　to　his　father　（which　I　did；　with　all　due　courtesy　and　respect；　by　that　day's　post）；　I　mentioned　as　my　reason　for　arriving　at　this　decision：First；　that　I　had　found　it　impossible　to　win　the　confidence　of　his　son。　Secondly；　that　his　son　had　that　morning　suddenly　and　mysteriously　left　my　house　for　London；　and　that　I　must　decline　accepting　any　further　responsibility　toward　him；　as　the　necessary　consequence。

I　had　put　my　letter　in　the　post…bag；　and　was　beginning　to　feel　a　little　easier　after　having　written　it；　when　my　housekeeper　appeared　in　the　study；　with　a　very　grave　face；　and　with　something　hidden　apparently　in　her　closed　hand。

〃Would　you　please　look；　sir；　at　what　we　have　found　in　the　gentleman's　bedroom；　since　he　went　away　this　morning？〃

I　knew　the　housekeeper　to　possess　a　woman's　full　share　of　that　amicable　weakness　of　the　sex　which　goes　by　the　name　of　〃Curiosity。〃　I　had　also；　in　various　indirect　ways；　become　aware　that　my　senior　pupil's　strange　departure　had　largely　increased　the　disposition　among　the　women　of　my　household　to　regard　him　as　the　victim　of　an　unhappy　attachment。　The　time　was　ripe；　as　it　seemed　to　me；　for　checking　any　further　gossip　about　him；　and　any　renewed　attempts　at　prying　into　his　affairs　in　his　absence。

〃Your　only　business　in　my　pupil's　bedroom；〃　I　said　to　the　housekeeper；　〃is　to　see　that　it　is　kept　clean；　and　that　it　is　properly　aired。　There　must　be　no　interference；　if　you　please；　with　his　letters；　or　his　papers；　or　with　anything　else　that　he　has