little novels-第39章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


erence　in　rank；　blind　to　the　malady　that　was　killing　me；　she　was　now　bent　on　separating　Rothsay　and　Susan；　by　throwing　the　girl　into　the　arms　of　a　rich　husband　like　myself！

〃You　are　wasting　your　breath；〃　I　told　her；　〃I　don't　believe　one　word　you　say　to　me。〃

〃Believe　Susan；　then！〃　　cried　the　reckless　woman。　〃Let　me　bring　her　here。　If　she's　too　shamefaced　to　own　the　truth；　look　at　herthat's　all　I　asklook　at　her；　and　judge　for　yourself！〃

This　was　intolerable。　In　justice　to　Susan；　in　justice　to　Rothsay；　I　insisted　on　silence。　〃No　more　of　it！〃　I　said。　〃Take　care　how　you　provoke　me。　Don't　you　see　that　I　am　ill？　don't　you　see　that　you　are　irritating　me　to　no　purpose？〃

She　altered　her　tone。　〃I'll　wait；〃　she　said；　quietly；　〃while　you　compose　yourself。〃

With　those　words；　she　walked　to　the　window；　and　stood　there　with　her　back　toward　me。　Was　the　wretch　taking　advantage　of　my　helpless　condition？　I　stretched　out　my　hand　to　ring　the　bell；　and　have　her　sent　awayand　hesitated　to　degrade　Susan's　mother；　for　Susan's　sake。　In　my　state　of　prostration；　how　could　I　arrive　at　a　decision？　My　mind　was　dreadfully　disturbed；　I　felt　the　imperative　necessity　of　turning　my　thoughts　to　some　other　subject。　Looking　about　me；　the　letters　on　the　table　attracted　my　attention。　Mechanically；　I　took　them　up；　mechanically　I　put　them　down　again。　Two　of　them　slipped　from　my　trembling　fingers；　my　eyes　fell　on　the　uppermost　of　the　two。　The　address　was　in　the　handwriting　of　the　good　friend　with　whom　Rothsay　was　sailing。

Just　as　I　had　been　speaking　of　Rothsay；　here　was　the　news　of　him　for　which　I　had　been　waiting。

I　opened　the　letter　and　read　these　words：


〃There　is；　I　fear；　but　little　hope　for　our　friendunless　this　girl　on　whom　he　has　set　his　heart　can　（by　some　lucky　change　of　circumstances）　become　his　wife。　He　has　tried　to　master　his　weakness；　but　his　own　infatuation　is　too　much　for　him。　He　is　really　and　truly　in　a　state　of　despair。　Two　evenings　sinceto　give　you　a　melancholy　example　of　what　I　meanI　was　in　my　cabin；　when　I　heard　the　alarm　of　a　man　overboard。　The　man　was　Rothsay。　My　sailing…master；　seeing　that　he　was　unable　to　swim；　jumped　into　the　sea　and　rescued　him；　as　I　got　on　deck。　Rothsay　declares　it　to　have　been　an　accident；　and　everybody　believes　him　but　myself。　I　know　the　state　of　his　mind。　Don't　be　alarmed；　I　will　have　him　well　looked　after；　and　I　won't　give　him　up　just　yet。　We　are　still　bound　southward；　with　a　fair　wind。　If　the　new　scenes　which　I　hope　to　show　him　prove　to　be　of　no　avail；　I　must　reluctantly　take　him　back　to　England。　In　that　case；　which　I　don't　like　to　contemplate；　you　may　see　him　againperhaps　in　a　month's　time。〃


He　might　return　in　a　month's　timereturn　to　hear　of　the　death　of　the　one　friend；　on　whose　power　and　will　to　help　him　he　might　have　relied。　If　I　failed　to　employ　in　his　interests　the　short　interval　of　life　still　left　to　me；　could　I　doubt　（after　what　I　had　just　read）　what　the　end　would　be？　How　could　I　help　him？　Oh；　God！　how　could　I　help　him？

Mrs。　Rymer　left　the　window；　and　returned　to　the　chair　which　she　had　occupied　when　I　first　received　her。

〃Are　you　quieter　in　your　mind　now？〃　she　asked。

I　neither　answered　her　nor　looked　at　her。

Still　determined　to　reach　her　end；　she　tried　again　to　force　her　unhappy　daughter　on　me。　〃Will　you　consent；〃　she　persisted；　〃to　see　Susan？〃

If　she　had　been　a　little　nearer　to　me；　I　am　afraid　I　should　have　struck　her。　〃You　wretch！〃　I　said；　〃do　you　know　that　I　am　a　dying　man？〃

〃While　there's　life　there's　hope；〃　Mrs。　Rymer　remarked。

I　ought　to　have　controlled　myself；　but　it　was　not　to　be　done。

〃Hope　of　your　daughter　being　my　rich　widow？〃　I　asked。

Her　bitter　answer　followed　instantly。

〃Even　then；〃　she　said；　〃Susan　wouldn't　marry　Rothsay。〃

A　lie！　If　circumstances　favored　her；　I　knew；　on　Rothsay's　authority；　what　Susan　would　do。

The　thought　burst　on　my　mind；　like　light　bursting　on　the　eyes　of　a　man　restored　to　sight。　If　Susan　agreed　to　go　through　the　form　of　marriage　with　a　dying　bridegroom；　my　rich　widow　could　（and　would）　become　Rothsay's　wife。　Once　more；　the　remembrance　of　the　play　at　Rome　returned；　and　set　the　last　embers　of　resolution；　which　sickness　and　suffering　had　left　to　me；　in　a　flame。　The　devoted　friend　of　that　imaginary　story　had　counted　on　death　to　complete　his　generous　purpose　in　vain：　_he_　had　been　condemned　by　the　tribunal　of　man；　and　had　been　reprieved。　Iin　his　place；　and　with　his　self…sacrifice　in　my　mindmight　found　a　firmer　trust　in　the　future；　for　I　had　been　condemned　by　the　tribunal　of　God。

Encouraged　by　my　silence；　the　obstinate　woman　persisted。　〃Won't　you　even　send　a　message　to　Susan？〃　she　asked。

Rashly；　madly；　without　an　instant's　hesitation；　I　answered：

〃Go　back　to　Susan；　and　say　I　leave　it　to　_her_。〃

Mrs。　Rymer　started　to　her　feet。　〃You　leave　it　to　Susan　to　be　your　wife；　if　she　likes？〃

〃I　do。〃

〃And　if　she　consents？〃

〃_I_　consent。〃

In　two　weeks　and　a　day　from　that　time；　the　deed　was　done。　When　Rothsay　returned　to　England；　he　would　ask　for　Susanand　he　would　find　my　virgin…widow　rich　and　free。

SEVENTH　EPOCH。

WHATEVER　may　be　thought　of　my　conduct；　let　me　say　this　in　justice　to　myselfI　was　resolved　that　Susan　should　not　be　deceived。

Half　an　hour　after　Mrs。　Rymer　had　left　my　house；　I　wrote　to　her　daughter；　plainly　revealing　the　motive　which　led　me　to　offer　marriage；　solely　in　the　future　interest　of　Rothsay　and　herself。　〃If　you　refuse；〃　1　said　in　conclusion；　〃you　may　depend　on　my　understanding　you　and　feeling　for　you。　But；　if　you　consentthen　I　have　a　favor　to　ask　Never　let　us　speak　to　one　another　of　the　profanation　that　we　have　agreed　to　commit；　for　your　faithful　lover's　sake。〃

I　had　formed　a　high　opinion　of　Susantoo　high　an　opinion　as　it　seemed。　Her　reply　surprised　and　disappointed　me。　In　other　words；　she　gave　her　consent。

I　stipulated　that　the　marriage　should　be　kept　strictly　secret；　for　a　certain　period。　In　my　own　mind　I　decided　that　the　interval　should　be　held　to　expire；　either　on　the　day　of　my　death；　or　on　the　day　when　Rothsay　returned。

My　next　proceeding　was　to　write　in　confidence　to　the　priest　whom　I　have　already　mentioned；　in　an　earlier　part　of　these　pages。　He　has　reasons　of　his　own　for　not　permitting　me　to　disclose　the　motive　which　induced　him　to　celebrate　my　marriage　privately　in　the　chapel　at　Lord　Lepel's　house。　My　uncle's　desire　that　I　should　try　change　of　air；　as　offering　a　last　chance　of　recovery；　was　known　to　my　medical　attendant；　and　served　as　a　sufficient　reason　（although　he　protested　against　the　risk）　for　my　removal　to　the　country。　I　was　carried　to　the　station；　and　placed　on　a　bedslung　by　ropes　to　the　ceiling　of　a　saloon　carriage；　so　as　to　prevent　me　from　feeling　the　vibration　when　the　train　was　in　motion。　Faithful　Mrs。　Mozeen　entreated　to　be　allowed　to　accompany　me。　I　was　reluctantly　compelled　to　refuse　compliance　with　this　request；　in　justice　to　the　claims　of　my　lord's　housekeeper；　who　had　been　accustomed　to　exercise　undivided　authority　in　the　household；　and　who　had　made　every　preparation　for　my　comfort。　With　her　own　hands；　Mrs。　Mozeen　packed　everything　that　I　required；　including　the　medicines　prescribed　for　the　occasion。　She　was　deeply　affected；　poor　soul；　when　we　parted。

I　bore　the　journeyhappily　for　me；　it　was　a　short　onebetter　than　had　been　anticipated。　For　the　first　few　days　that　followed；　the　purer　air　of　the　country　seemed；　in　some　degree；　to　revive　me。　But　the　deadly　sense　of　weakness；　the　slow　sinking　of　the　vital　power　in　me；　returned　as　the　time　drew　near　for　the　marriage。　The　ceremony　was　performed　at　night。　Only　Susan　and　her　mother　were　present。　No　persons　in　the　house　but　ourselves　had　the　faintest　suspicion　of　what　had　happened。

I　signed　my　new　will　（the　priest　and　Mrs。　Rymer　being　the　witnesses）　in　my　bed　that　night。　It　left　everything　that　I　possessed；　excepting　a　legacy　to　Mrs。　Mozeen；　to　my　wife。

Obliged；　it　is　needless　to　say；　to　preserve　appearances；　Susan　remained　at　the　lodge　as　usual。　But　it　was　impossible　to　resist　her　entreaty　to　be　allowed　to　attend　on　me；　for　a　few　hours　daily；　as　assistant　to　the　regular　nurse。　When　she　was　alone　with　me；　and　had　no　inquisitive　eyes　to　dread；　the　poor　girl　showed　a　depth　of　feeling；　which　I　was　unable　to　reconcile　with　the　motives　that　could　alone　have　induced　her　（as　I　then　supposed）　to　consent　to　the　mockery　of　our　marriage。　On　occasions　when　I　was　so　far　able　to　resist　the　languor　that　oppressed　　me　as　to　observe　what　was　passing　at　my　bedsideI　saw　Susan　look　at　me　as　if　there　were　thoughts　in　her　pressing　for　utterance　which　she　hesitated　to　express。　Once；　she　herself　acknowledged　this。　〃I　have　so　much　to　say　to　you；〃　she　owned；　〃when　you　are　stronger　and　fitter　to　hear　me。〃　At　other　times；　her　nerves　seemed　to　be　shaken　by　the　spectacle　of　my　sufferings。　Her　kind　hands　trembled　and　made　mistakes；　when　they　had　any　nursing　duties　to　perform　near　me。　The　servants；　noticing　her；　used　to　say；　〃That　pretty　girl　seems　to　be　the　most　awkward　person　in　the　house。〃　On　the　day　that　followed　the　ceremony　in　the　chapel；　this　want　of　self…control　brought　about　an　accident　which　led　to　serious　results。

In　removing　the　small　chest　which　held　my　medicines　from　the　shelf　on　which　it　was　placed；　Susan　let　it　drop　on　the　floor。　The　two　full　bottles　still　left　were　so　completely　shattered　that　not　even　a　teaspoonful　of　the　contents　was　saved。

Shocked　at　what　she　had　done；　the　poor　girl　volunteered　to　go　herself　to　my　chemist　in　London　by　the　first　train。　I　refused　to　allow　it。　What　did　it　matter　to　me　now；　if　my　death　from　exhaustion　was　hastened　by　a　day　or　two？　Why　need　my　life　be　prolonged　artificially　by　drugs；　when　I　had　nothing　left　to　live　for？　An　excuse　for　me　which　would　satisfy　others　was　easily　found。　I　said　that　I　had　been　long　weary　of　physic；　and　that　the　accident　had　decided　me　on　refusing　to　take　more。

That　night　I　did　not　wake　quite　so　often　as　usual。　When　she　came　to　me　the　next　day；　Susan　noticed　that　I　looked　better。　The　day　after；　the　other　nurse　made　the　same　observation。　At　the　end　of　the　week；　I　was　able　to　leave　my　bed；　and　sit　by　the　fireside；　while　Susan　read　to　me。　Some　mysterious　change　in　my　health　had　completely　falsified　the　prediction　of　the　medical　men。　I　sent　to　London　for　my　doctorand　told　him　that　the　improvement　in　me　had　begun　on　the　day　when　I　left　off　taking　his　remedies。　〃Can　you　explain　it？〃　I　asked。

He　answered　that　no　such　〃resurrection　from　the　dead〃　（as　he　called　it）　had　ever　happened　in　his　long　experience。　On　leaving　me；　he　asked　for　the　latest　prescriptions　that　had　been　written。　I　inquired　what　he　was　going　to　do　with　them。　〃I　mean　to　go　to　the　chemist；〃　he　replied；　〃and　to　satisfy　myself　that　your　medicines　have　been　properly　made　up。〃

I　owed　it　to　Mrs。　Mozeen's　true　interest　in　me　to　tell　her　what　had　happened。　The　same　day　I　wrote　to　her。　I　also　mentioned　what　the　doctor　had　said；　and　asked　her　to　call　on　him；　and　ascertain　if　the　prescriptions　had　been　shown　to　the　chemist；　and　if　any　mistake　had　been　made。

A　more　innocently　intended　letter　than　this　never　was　written。　And　yet　there　are　people　who　have　declared　that　it　was　inspired　by　suspicion　of　Mrs。　Mozeen！

EIGHTH　EPOCH。

WHETHER　I　was　so　weakened　by　illness　as　to　be　incapable　of　giving　my　mind　to　more　than　on