sketches of young gentlemen(年轻绅士素描)-第2章
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how his dear sister Harriet is to…day； to which the young gentleman；
without the slightest consideration； replies with many thanks； that she is
remarkably well。 'Well； Mr。 Hopkins！' cries the young lady； 'why； we
heard she was bled yesterday evening； and have been perfectly miserable
about her。' 'Oh； ah；' says the young gentleman； 'so she was。 Oh； she's
very ill； very ill indeed。' The young gentleman then shakes his head； and
looks very desponding （he has been smiling perpetually up to this time）；
and after a short pause； gives his glove a great wrench at the wrist； and
says； with a strong emphasis on the adjective； 'GOOD morning； GOOD
morning。' And making a great number of bows in acknowledgment of
several little messages to his sister； walks backward a few paces； and
comes with great violence against a lamp…post； knocking his hat off in the
contact； which in his mental confusion and bodily pain he is going to walk
away without； until a great roar from a carter attracts his attention； when
he picks it up； and tries to smile cheerfully to the young ladies； who are
looking back； and who； he has the satisfaction of seeing； are all laughing
heartily。
At a quadrille party； the bashful young gentleman always remains as
near the entrance of the room as possible； from which position he smiles at
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the people he knows as they come in； and sometimes steps forward to
shake hands with more intimate friends： a process which on each
repetition seems to turn him a deeper scarlet than before。 He declines
dancing the first set or two； observing； in a faint voice； that he would
rather wait a little； but at length is absolutely compelled to allow himself
to be introduced to a partner； when he is led； in a great heat and blushing
furiously； across the room to a spot where half…a…dozen unknown ladies
are congregated together。
'Miss Lambert； let me introduce Mr。 Hopkins for the next quadrille。'
Miss Lambert inclines her head graciously。 Mr。 Hopkins bows； and his
fair conductress disappears； leaving Mr。 Hopkins； as he too well knows； to
make himself agreeable。 The young lady more than half expects that the
bashful young gentleman will say something； and the bashful young
gentleman feeling this； seriously thinks whether he has got anything to say；
which； upon mature reflection； he is rather disposed to conclude he has not；
since nothing occurs to him。 Meanwhile； the young lady； after several
inspections of her BOUQUET； all made in the expectation that the bashful
young gentleman is going to talk； whispers her mamma； who is sitting
next her； which whisper the bashful young gentleman immediately
suspects （and possibly with very good reason） must be about HIM。 In
this comfortable condition he remains until it is time to 'stand up；' when
murmuring a 'Will you allow me？' he gives the young lady his arm； and
after inquiring where she will stand； and receiving a reply that she has no
choice； conducts her to the remotest corner of the quadrille； and making
one attempt at conversation； which turns out a desperate failure； preserves
a profound silence until it is all over； when he walks her twice round the
room； deposits her in her old seat； and retires in confusion。
A married bashful gentleman … for these bashful gentlemen do get
married sometimes； how it is ever brought about； is a mystery to us … a
married bashful gentleman either causes his wife to appear bold by
contrast； or merges her proper importance in his own insignificance。
Bashful young gentlemen should be cured； or avoided。 They are never
hopeless； and never will be； while female beauty and attractions retain
their influence； as any young lady will find； who may think it worth while
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on this confident assurance to take a patient in hand。
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THE OUT…AND…OUT YOUNG
GENTLEMAN
Out…and…out young gentlemen may be divided into two classes … those
who have something to do； and those who have nothing。 I shall
commence with the former； because that species come more frequently
under the notice of young ladies； whom it is our province to warn and to
instruct。
The out…and…out young gentleman is usually no great dresser； his
instructions to his tailor being all comprehended in the one general
direction to 'make that what's…a…name a regular bang…up sort of thing。'
For some years past； the favourite costume of the out…and…out young
gentleman has been a rough pilot coat； with two gilt hooks and eyes to the
velvet collar； buttons somewhat larger than crown…pieces； a black or fancy
neckerchief； loosely tied； a wide…brimmed hat； with a low crown； tightish
inexpressibles； and iron…shod boots。 Out of doors he sometimes carries a
large ash stick； but only on special occasions； for he prefers keeping his
hands in his coat pockets。 He smokes at all hours； of course； and swears
considerably。
The out…and…out young gentleman is employed in a city counting…
house or solicitor's office； in which he does as little as he possibly can：
his chief places of resort are； the streets； the taverns； and the theatres。 In
the streets at evening time； out… and…out young gentlemen have a pleasant
custom of walking six or eight abreast； thus driving females and other
inoffensive persons into the road； which never fails to afford them the
highest satisfaction； especially if there be any immediate danger of their
being run over； which enhances the fun of the thing materially。 In all
places of public resort； the out…and…outers are careful to select each a seat
to himself； upon which he lies at full length； and （if the weather be very
dirty； but not in any other case） he lies with his knees up； and the soles of
his boots planted firmly on the cushion； so that if any low fellow should
ask him to make room for a lady； he takes ample revenge upon her dress；
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without going at all out of his way to do it。 He always sits with his hat
on； and flourishes his stick in the air while the play is proceeding； with a
dignified contempt of the performance； if it be possible for one or two out…
and…out young gentlemen to get up a little crowding in the passages； they
are quite in their element； squeezing； pushing； whooping； and shouting in
the most humorous manner possible。 If they can only succeed in
irritating the gentleman who has a family of daughters under his charge；
they are like to die with laughing； and boast of it among their companions
for a week afterwards； adding； that one or two of them were 'devilish fine
girls；' and that they really thought the youngest would have fainted； which
was the only thing wanted to render the joke complete。
If the out…and…out young gentleman have a mother and sisters； of
course he treats them with becoming contempt； inasmuch as they （poor
things！） having no notion of life or gaiety； are far too weak…spirited and
moping for him。 Sometimes； however； on a birth… day or at Christmas…
time； he cannot very well help accompanying them to a party at some old
friend's； with which view he comes home when they have been dressed an
hour or two； smelling very strongly of tobacco and spirits； and after
exchanging his rough coat for some more suitable attire （in which
however he loses nothing of the out…and…outer）； gets into the coach and
grumbles all the way at his own good nature： his bitter reflections
aggravated by the recollection； that Tom Smith has taken the chair at a
little impromptu dinner at a fighting man's； and that a set…to was to take
place on a dining…table； between the fighting man and his brother… in…law；
which is probably 'coming off' at that very instant。
As the out…and…out young gentleman is by no means at his ease in
ladies' society； he shrinks into a corner of the drawing…room when they
reach the friend's； and unless one of his sisters is kind enough to talk to
him； remains there without being much troubled by the attentions of other
people； until he espies； lingering outside the door； another gentleman；
whom he at once knows； by his air and manner （for there is a kind of free…
masonry in the craft）； to be a brother out…and…outer； and towards whom he
accordingly makes his way。 Conversation being soon opened by some
casual remark； the second out…and…outer confidentially informs the first；
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that he is one of the rough sort and hates that kind of thing； only he
couldn't very well be off coming； to which the other replies； that that's just
his case … 'and I'll tell you what；' continues the out… and…outer in a whisper；
'I should like a glass of warm brandy and water just now；' … 'Or a pint of
stout and a pipe；' suggests the other out…and…outer。
The discovery is at once made that they are sympathetic souls； each of
them says at the same moment； that he sees the other understands what's
what： and they become fast friends at once； more especially when it
appears； that the second out…and…outer is no other than a gentleman； long
favourably known to his famili
