sketches of young gentlemen(年轻绅士素描)-第7章
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out 'Very well； Mr。 Felix；' and trip into the passage with a laugh more
musical than any flute that was ever played。
Felix is rather prim in his appearance； and perhaps a little priggish
about his books and flute； and so forth； which have all their peculiar
corners of peculiar shelves in his bedroom； indeed all his female
acquaintance （and they are good judges） have long ago set him down as a
thorough old bachelor。 He is a favourite with them however； in a certain
way； as an honest； inoffensive； kind…hearted creature； and as his
peculiarities harm nobody； not even himself； we are induced to hope that
many who are not personally acquainted with him will take our good word
in his behalf； and be content to leave him to a long continuance of his
harmless existence。
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
THE CENSORIOUS YOUNG
GENTLEMAN
There is an amiable kind of young gentleman going about in society；
upon whom； after much experience of him； and considerable turning over
of the subject in our mind； we feel it our duty to affix the above
appellation。 Young ladies mildly call him a 'sarcastic' young gentleman；
or a 'severe' young gentleman。 We； who know better； beg to acquaint
them with the fact； that he is merely a censorious young gentleman； and
nothing else。
The censorious young gentleman has the reputation among his
familiars of a remarkably clever person； which he maintains by receiving
all intelligence and expressing all opinions with a dubious sneer；
accompanied with a half smile； expressive of anything you please but
good…humour。 This sets people about thinking what on earth the
censorious young gentleman means； and they speedily arrive at the
conclusion that he means something very deep indeed； for they reason in
this way … 'This young gentleman looks so very knowing that he must
mean something； and as I am by no means a dull individual； what a very
deep meaning he must have if I can't find it out！' It is extraordinary how
soon a censorious young gentleman may make a reputation in his own
small circle if he bear this in his mind； and regulate his proceedings
accordingly。
As young ladies are generally … not curious； but laudably desirous to
acquire information； the censorious young gentleman is much talked about
among them； and many surmises are hazarded regarding him。 'I wonder；'
exclaims the eldest Miss Greenwood； laying down her work to turn up the
lamp； 'I wonder whether Mr。 Fairfax will ever be married。' 'Bless me；
dear；' cries Miss Marshall； 'what ever made you think of him？' 'Really I
hardly know；' replies Miss Greenwood； 'he is such a very mysterious
person； that I often wonder about him。' 'Well； to tell you the truth；'
replies Miss Marshall； 'and so do I。' Here two other young ladies profess
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
that they are constantly doing the like； and all present appear in the same
condition except one young lady； who； not scrupling to state that she
considers Mr。 Fairfax 'a horror；' draws down all the opposition of the
others； which having been expressed in a great many ejaculatory passages；
such as 'Well； did I ever！' … and 'Lor； Emily； dear！' ma takes up the subject；
and gravely states； that she must say she does not think Mr。 Fairfax by any
means a horror； but rather takes him to be a young man of very great
ability； 'and I am quite sure；' adds the worthy lady； 'he always means a
great deal more than he says。'
The door opens at this point of the disclosure； and who of all people
alive walks into the room； but the very Mr。 Fairfax； who has been the
subject of conversation！ 'Well； it really is curious；' cries ma； 'we were at
that very moment talking about you。' 'You did me great honour；' replies
Mr。 Fairfax； 'may I venture to ask what you were saying？' 'Why； if you
must know；' returns the eldest girl； 'we were remarking what a very
mysterious man you are。' 'Ay； ay！' observes Mr。 Fairfax； 'Indeed！' Now
Mr。 Fairfax says this ay； ay； and indeed； which are slight words enough in
themselves； with so very unfathomable an air； and accompanies them with
such a very equivocal smile； that ma and the young ladies are more than
ever convinced that he means an immensity； and so tell him he is a very
dangerous man； and seems to be always thinking ill of somebody； which is
precisely the sort of character the censorious young gentleman is most
desirous to establish； wherefore he says； 'Oh； dear； no；' in a tone；
obviously intended to mean； 'You have me there；' and which gives them to
understand that they have hit the right nail on the very centre of its head。
When the conversation ranges from the mystery overhanging the
censorious young gentleman's behaviour； to the general topics of the day；
he sustains his character to admiration。 He considers the new tragedy
well enough for a new tragedy； but Lord bless us … well； no matter； he
could say a great deal on that point； but he would rather not； lest he should
be thought ill…natured； as he knows he would be。 'But is not Mr。 So…and…
so's performance truly charming？' inquires a young lady。 'Charming！'
replies the censorious young gentleman。 'Oh； dear； yes； certainly； very
charming … oh； very charming indeed。' After this； he stirs the fire； smiling
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contemptuously all the while： and a modest young gentleman； who has
been a silent listener； thinks what a great thing it must be； to have such a
critical judgment。 Of music； pictures； books； and poetry； the censorious
young gentleman has an equally fine conception。 As to men and women；
he can tell all about them at a glance。 'Now let us hear your opinion of
young Mrs。 Barker；' says some great believer in the powers of Mr。 Fairfax；
'but don't be too severe。' 'I never am severe；' replies the censorious young
gentleman。 'Well； never mind that now。 She is very lady…like； is she
not？' 'Lady…like！' repeats the censorious young gentleman （for he always
repeats when he is at a loss for anything to say）。 'Did you observe her
manner？ Bless my heart and soul； Mrs。 Thompson； did you observe her
manner？ … that's all I ask。' 'I thought I had done so；' rejoins the poor lady；
much perplexed； 'I did not observe it very closely perhaps。' 'Oh； not very
closely；' rejoins the censorious young gentleman； triumphantly。 'Very
good； then I did。 Let us talk no more about her。' The censorious young
gentleman purses up his lips； and nods his head sagely； as he says this； and
it is forthwith whispered about； that Mr。 Fairfax （who； though he is a little
prejudiced； must be admitted to be a very excellent judge） has observed
something exceedingly odd in Mrs。 Barker's manner。
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
THE FUNNY YOUNG
GENTLEMAN
As one funny young gentleman will serve as a sample of all funny
young Gentlemen we purpose merely to note down the conduct and
behaviour of an individual specimen of this class； whom we happened to
meet at an annual family Christmas party in the course of this very last
Christmas that ever came。
We were all seated round a blazing fire which crackled pleasantly as
the guests talked merrily and the urn steamed cheerily … for； being an old…
fashioned party； there WAS an urn； and a teapot besides … when there came
a postman's knock at the door； so violent and sudden； that it startled the
whole circle； and actually caused two or three very interesting and most
unaffected young ladies to scream aloud and to exhibit many afflicting
symptoms of terror and distress； until they had been several times assured
by their respective adorers； that they were in no danger。 We were about
to remark that it was surely beyond post…time； and must have been a
runaway knock； when our host； who had hitherto been paralysed with
wonder； sank into a chair in a perfect ecstasy of laughter； and offered to
lay twenty pounds that it was that droll dog Griggins。 He had no sooner
said this； than the majority of the company and all the children of the
house burst into a roar of laughter too； as if some inimitable joke flashed
upon them simultaneously； and gave vent to various exclamations of … To
be sure it must be Griggins； and How like him that was； and What spirits
he was always in！ with many other commendatory remarks of the like
nature。
Not having the happiness to know Griggins； we became extremely
desirous to see so pleasant a fellow； the more especially as a stout
gentleman with a powdered head； who was sitting with his breeches
buckles almost touching the hob； whispered us he was a wit of the first
water； when the door opened； and Mr。 Griggins being announced；
presented himself； amidst another shout of laughter and a loud clapping of
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hands from the younger branches。 This welcome he acknowledged by
sundry contortions of countenance； imitative of the clown in
