the diary of an old soul(一颗衰老灵魂的日记)-第7章
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thinks； in his great plenitude； To right himself； and set his spirit free；
Without the might of higher communings； Is foolish alsosave he willed
himself to be。
16。
How many helps thou giv'st to those would learn！ To some sore pain；
to others a sinking heart； To some a weariness worse than any smart； To
some a haunting； fearing； blind concern； Madness to some； to some the
shaking dart Of hideous death still following as they turn； To some a
hunger that will not depart。
17。
To some thou giv'st a deep unresta scorn Of all they are or see upon
the earth； A gaze； at dusky night and clearing morn； As on a land of
emptiness and dearth； To some a bitter sorrow； to some the sting Of love
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misprizedof sick abandoning； To some a frozen heart； oh； worse than
anything！
18。
To some a mocking demon； that doth set The poor foiled will to scoff
at the ideal； But loathsome makes to them their life of jar。 The messengers
of Satan think to mar； But makedriving the soul from false to feal To
thee； the reconciler； the one real； In whom alone the would be and the is
are met。
19。
Me thou hast given an infinite unrest； A hungernot at first after
known good； But something vague I knew not； and yet would The veiled
Isis； thy will not understood； A conscience tossing ever in my breast； And
something deeper； that will not be expressed； Save as the Spirit thinking in
the Spirit's brood。
20。
But now the Spirit and I are one in this My hunger now is after
righteousness； My spirit hopes in God to set me free 》From the low self
loathed of the higher me。 Great elder brother of my second birth； Dear o'er
all names but one； in heaven or earth； Teach me all day to love eternally。
21。
Lo； Lord； thou know'st； I would not anything That in the heart of God
holds not its root； Nor falsely deem there is any life at all That doth in him
nor sleep nor shine nor sing； I know the plants that bear the noisome fruit
Of burning and of ashes and of gall 》From God's heart torn； rootless to
man's they cling。
22。
Life…giving love rots to devouring fire； Justice corrupts to despicable
revenge； Motherhood chokes in the dam's jealous mire； Hunger for growth
turns fluctuating change； Love's anger grand grows spiteful human wrath；
Hunting men out of conscience' holy path； And human kindness takes the
tattler's range。
23。
Nothing can draw the heart of man but good； Low good it is that draws
him from the higher So evilpoison uncreate from food。 Never a foul
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thing； with temptation dire； Tempts hellward force created to aspire； But
walks in wronged strength of imprisoned Truth； Whose mantle also oft the
Shame indu'th。
24。
Love in the prime not yet I understand Scarce know the love that
loveth at first hand： Help me my selfishness to scatter and scout； Blow on
me till my love loves burningly； Then the great love will burn the mean
self out； And I； in glorious simplicity； Living by love； shall love
unspeakably。
25。
Oh； make my anger purelet no worst wrong Rouse in me the old
niggard selfishness。 Give me thine indignationwhich is love Turned on
the evil that would part love's throng； Thy anger scathes because it needs
must bless； Gathering into union calm and strong All things on earth； and
under； and above。
26。
Make my forgiveness downrightsuch as I Should perish if I did not
have from thee； I let the wrong go； withered up and dry； Cursed with
divine forgetfulness in me。 'Tis but self…pity； pleasant； mean； and sly； Low
whispering bids the paltry memory live： What am I brother for； but to
forgive！
27。
〃Thou art my father's childcome to my heart：〃 Thus must I say； or
Thou must say； 〃Depart；〃 Thus I would sayI would be as thou art； Thus I
must say； or still I work athwart The absolute necessity and law That
dwells in me； and will me asunder draw； If in obedience I leave any flaw。
28。
Lord； I forgiveand step in unto thee。 If I have enemies； Christ deal
with them： He hath forgiven me and Jerusalem。 Lord； set me from self…
inspiration free； And let me live and think from thee； not me Rather；
from deepest me then think and feel； At centre of thought's swift…revolving
wheel。
29。
I sit o'ercanopied with Beauty's tent； Through which flies many a
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golden…winged dove； Well watched of Fancy's tender eyes up bent； A
hundred Powers wait on me； ministering； A thousand treasures Art and
Knowledge bring； Will； Conscience； Reason tower the rest above； But in
the midst； alone； I gladness am and love。
30。
'Tis but a vision； Lord； I do not mean That thus I am； or have one
moment been 'Tis but a picture hung upon my wall； To measure dull
contentment therewithal； And know behind the human how I fall； A
vision true； of what one day shall be； When thou hast had thy very will
with me。
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JULY。
1。
ALAS； my tent！ see through it a whirlwind sweep！ Moaning； poor
Fancy's doves are swept away。 I sit alone； a sorrow half asleep； My
consciousness the blackness all astir。 No pilgrim I； a homeless wanderer
For how canst Thou be in the darkness deep； Who dwellest only in the
living day？
2。
It must be； somewhere in my fluttering tent； Strange creatures； half
tamed only yet； are pent Dragons； lop…winged birds； and large…eyed
snakes！ Hark！ through the storm the saddest howling breaks！ Or are they
loose； roaming about the bent； The darkness dire deepening with moan
and scream？ My Morning； rise； and all shall be a dream。
3。
Not thine； my Lord； the darkness all is mine Save that； as mine； my
darkness too is thine： All things are thine to save or to destroy Destroy
my darkness； rise my perfect joy； Love primal； the live coal of every night；
Flame out； scare the ill things with radiant fright； And fill my tent with
laughing morn's delight。
4。
Master； thou workest with such common things Low souls； weak
hearts； I meanand hast to use； Therefore； such common means and
rescuings； That hard we find it； as we sit and muse； To think thou workest
in us verily： Bad sea…boats we； and manned with wretched crews That
doubt the captain； watch the storm…spray flee。
5。
Thou art hampered in thy natural working then When beings designed
on freedom's holy plan Will not be free： with thy poor； foolish men； Thou
therefore hast to work just like a man。 But when； tangling thyself in their
sore need； Thou hast to freedom fashioned them indeed； Then wilt thou
grandly move； and Godlike speed。
6。
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Will this not then show grandest fact of all In thy creation victory
most renowned That thou hast wrought thy will by slow and small； And
made men like thee； though thy making bound By that which they were
not； and could not be Until thou mad'st them make along with thee？
Master； the tardiness is but in me。
7。
Hence come thy checksbecause I still would run My head into the
sand； nor flutter aloft Towards thy home； with thy wind under me。 'Tis
because I am mean； thy ways so oft Look mean to me； my rise is low
begun； But scarce thy will doth grasp me； ere I see； For my arrest and rise；
its stern necessity。
8。
Like clogs upon the pinions of thy plan We hanglike captives on thy
chariot…wheels； Who should climb up and ride with Death's conqueror；
Therefore thy train along the world's highway steals So slow to the peace
of heart…reluctant man。 What shall we do to spread the wing and soar； Nor
straiten thy deliverance any more？
9。
The sole way to put flight into the wing； To preen its feathers； and to
make them grow； Is to heed humbly every smallest thing With which the
Christ in us has aught to do。 So will the Christ from child to manhood go；
Obedient to the father Christ； and so Sweet holy change will turn all our
old things to new。
10。
Creation thou dost work by faint degrees； By shade and shadow from
unseen beginning； Far； far apart； in unthought mysteries Of thy own dark；
unfathomable seas； Thou will'st thy will； and thence； upon the earth
Slow travelling； his way through centuries winning A child at length
arrives at never ending birth。
11。
Well mayst thou then work on indocile hearts By small successes；
disappointments small； By nature； weather； failure； or sore fall； By shame；
anxiety； bitterness； and smarts； By loneliness； by weary loss of zest： The
rags； the husks； the swine； the hunger…quest； Drive home the wanderer to
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the father's breast。
12。
How suddenly some rapid turn of thought May throw the life…machine
all out of gear； Clouding the windows with the steam of doubt； Filling the
eyes with dust； with noise the ear！ Who knows not then where dwells the
engineer； Rushes aghast into the pathless night； And wanders in a land of
dreary fright。
13。
Amazed at sightless whirring of their wheels； Confounded with the
recklessness and strife； Distract
