the diary of an old soul(一颗衰老灵魂的日记)-第8章
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dreary fright。
13。
Amazed at sightless whirring of their wheels； Confounded with the
recklessness and strife； Distract with fears of what may next ensue； Some
break rude exit from the house of life； And plunge into a silence out of
view Whence not a cry； no wafture once reveals What door they have
broke open with the knife。
14。
Help me； my Father； in whatever dismay； Whatever terror in whatever
shape； To hold the faster by thy garment's hem； When my heart sinks； oh；
lift it up； I pray； Thy child should never fear though hell should gape； Not
blench though all the ills that men affray Stood round him like the Roman
round Jerusalem。
15。
Too eager I must not be to understand。 How should the work the
master goes about Fit the vague sketch my compasses have planned？ I am
his housefor him to go in and out。 He builds me nowand if I cannot see
At any time what he is doing with me； 'Tis that he makes the house for me
too grand。
16。
The house is not for meit is for him。 His royal thoughts require many
a stair； Many a tower； many an outlook fair； Of which I have no thought；
and need no care。 Where I am most perplexed； it may be there Thou mak'st
a secret chamber； holy…dim； Where thou wilt come to help my deepest
prayer。
17。
I cannot tell why this day I am ill； But I am well because it is thy will
Which is to make me pure and right like thee。 Not yet I need escape'tis
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bearable Because thou knowest。 And when harder things Shall rise and
gather； and overshadow me； I shall have comfort in thy strengthenings。
18。
How do I live when thou art far away？ When I am sunk； and lost；
and dead in sleep； Or in some dream with no sense in its play？ When
weary…dull； or drowned in study deep？ O Lord； I live so utterly on thee； I
live when I forget thee utterly Not that thou thinkest of； but thinkest me。
19。
Thou far！that word the holy truth doth blur。 Doth the great ocean
from the small fish run When it sleeps fast in its low weedy bower？ Is the
sun far from any smallest flower； That lives by his dear presence every
hour？ Are they not one in oneness without stir The flower the flower
because the sun the sun？
20。
〃Dear presence every hour〃！what of the night； When crumpled
daisies shut gold sadness in； And some do hang the head for lack of light；
Sick almost unto death with absence…blight？ Thy memory then； warm…
lingering in the ground； Mourned dewy in the air； keeps their hearts sound；
Till fresh with day their lapsed life begin。
21。
All things are shadows of the shining true： Sun； sea； and airclose；
potent； hurtless fire Flowers from their mother's prisondove； and dew
Every thing holds a slender guiding clue Back to the mighty oneness：
hearts of faith Know thee than light； than heat； endlessly nigher； Our life's
life； carpenter of Nazareth。
22。
Sometimes； perhaps； the spiritual blood runs slow； And soft along the
veins of will doth flow； Seeking God's arteries from which it came。 Or
does the etherial； creative flame Turn back upon itself； and latent grow？
It matters not what figure or what name； If thou art in me； and I am not to
blame。
23。
In such God…silence； the soul's nest； so long As all is still； no flutter
and no song； Is safe。 But if my soul begin to act Without some waking to
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the eternal fact That my dear life is hid with Christ in God I think and
move a creature of earth's clod； Stand on the finite； act upon the wrong。
24。
My soul this sermon hence for itself prepares： 〃Then is there nothing
vile thou mayst not do； Buffeted in a tumult of low cares； And treacheries
of the old man 'gainst the new。〃 Lord； in my spirit let thy spirit move；
Warning； that it may not have to reprove： In my dead moments； master；
stir the prayers。
25。
Lord； let my soul o'erburdened then feel thee Thrilling through all its
brain's stupidity。 If I must slumber； heedless of ill harms； Let it not be but
in my Father's arms； Outside the shelter of his garment's fold； All is a
waste； a terror…haunted wold。 Lord； keep me。 'Tis thy child that cries。
Behold。
26。
Some say that thou their endless love host won By deeds for them
which I may not believe Thou ever didst； or ever willedst done： What
matter； so they love thee？ They receive Eternal more than the poor loom
and wheel Of their invention ever wove and spun。 I love thee for I must；
thine all from head to heel。
27。
The love of thee will set all notions right。 Right save by love no
thought can be or may； Only love's knowledge is the primal light。
Questions keep camp along love's shining coast Challenge my love and
would my entrance stay： Across the buzzing； doubting； challenging host； I
rush to thee； and cling； and cryThou know'st。 28。
Oh； let me live in thy realities； Nor substitute my notions for thy facts；
Notion with notion making leagues and pacts； They are to truth but as
dream…deeds to acts； And questioned； make me doubt of everything。 〃O
Lord； my God；〃 my heart gets up and cries； 〃Come thy own self； and with
thee my faith bring。〃
29。
O master； my desires to work； to know； To be aware that I do live and
grow All restless wish for anything not thee； I yield； and on thy altar
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offer me。 Let me no more from out thy presence go； But keep me waiting
watchful for thy will Even while I do it； waiting watchful still。
30。
Thou art the Lord of life； the secret thing。 Thou wilt give endless more
than I could find； Even if without thee I could go and seek； For thou art
one； Christ； with my deepest mind； Duty alive； self…willed； in me dost
speak； And to a deeper purer being sting： I come to thee； my life； my
causing kind。
31。
Nothing is alien in thy world immense No look of sky or earth or
man or beast； 〃In the great hand of God I stand； and thence〃 Look out on
life； his endless； holy feast。 To try to feel is but to court despair； To dig for
a sun within a garden…fence： Who does thy will； O God； he lives upon thy
air。
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AUGUST。
1。
SO shall abundant entrance me be given Into the truth； my life's
inheritance。 Lo！ as the sun shoots straight from out his tomb； God…floated；
casting round a lordly glance Into the corners of his endless room； So；
through the rent which thou； O Christ； hast riven； I enter liberty's divine
expanse。
2。
It will be soah； so it is not now！ Who seeks thee for a little lazy peace；
Then； like a man all weary of the plough； That leaves it standing in the
furrow's crease； Turns from thy presence for a foolish while； Till comes
again the rasp of unrest's file； 》From liberty is distant many a mile。
3。
Like one that stops； and drinks； and turns； and goes Into a land where
never water flows； There travels on； the dry and thirsty day； Until the hot
night veils the farther way； Then turns and finds again the bubbling pool
Here would I build my house； take up my stay； Nor ever leave my Sychar's
margin cool。
4。
Keep me； Lord； with thee。 I call from out the dark Hear in thy light；
of which I am a spark。 I know not what is mine and what is thine Of
branch and stem I miss the differing mark But if a mere hair's…breadth
me separateth； That hair's…breadth is eternal； infinite death。 For sap thy
dead branch calls； O living vine！
5。
I have no choice； I must do what I can； But thou dost me； and all
things else as well； Thou wilt take care thy child shall grow a man。 Rouse
thee； my faith； be king； with life be one； To trust in God is action's highest
kind； Who trusts in God； his heart with life doth swell； Faith opens all the
windows to God's wind。
6。
O Father； thou art my eternity。 Not on the clasp Of consciousnesson
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thee My life depends； and I can well afford All to forget； so thou
remember； Lord。 In thee I rest； in sleep thou dost me fold； In thee I labour；
still in thee； grow old； And dying； shall I not in thee； my Life； be bold？
7。
In holy things may be unholy greed。 Thou giv'st a glimpse of many a
lovely thing； Not to be stored for use in any mind； But only for the present
spiritual need。 The holiest bread； if hoarded； soon will breed The
mammon…moth； the having…pride； I find。 'Tis momently thy heart gives out
heart…quickening。
8。
It is thyself； and neither this nor that； Nor anything； told； taught； or
dreamed of thee； That keeps us live。 The holy maid who sat Low at thy
feet； choosing the better part； Rising； bore with herwhat a memory！ Yet；
brooding only on that treasure； she Had soon been roused by conscious
loss of heart。
9。
I am a fool when I would stop and think； And lest I lose my thoughts；
from duty shrink。 It is but avarice in another shape。 'Tis as the vine…branch
were to hoard the grape； Nor trust the living root beneath the sod。 What
trouble is that child to thee； my God； Who sips thy gracious cup； and will
not drink！
10。
True； faithful action only is the life； The grapes for which we feel the
pruning knife。 Thoughts are but leaves； they fall and feed the ground。 The
holy seasons； swift and slow； go round； The
