the price she paid-第13章

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nse　of　the　meaning　of　poverty。　　She　frowned　at　this　evidence　of　his　lack　of　the　finer　sensibilitiesby　no　means　the　first　time　that　lack　had　been　disagreeably　thrust　upon　her。　　Soon　she　would　be　without　moneyand　she　must　have　money　not　much；　as　all　the　serious　expenses　were　looked　after　by　the　general；　but　still　a　little　money。　　How　could　she　get　it？　　How　could　she　remind　him　of　his　neglect　without　seeming　to　be　indelicate？　　It　was　a　difficult　problem。　　She　worked　at　it　more　and　more　continuously；　and　irritably；　and　nervously；　as　the　days　went　by　and　her　fifty…two　francs　dwindled　to　five。

She　lay　awake；　planning　long　and　elaborate　conversations　that　would　imperceptibly　lead　him　up　to　where　he　must　see　what　she　needed　without　seeing　that　he　had　been　led。　　She　carried　out　these　ingenious　conversations。　She　led　him　along；　he　docilely　and　unsuspectingly　following。　　She　brought　him　up　to　where　it　seemed　to　her　impossible　for　any　human　being　endowed　with　the　ordinary　faculties　to　fail　to　see　what　was　so　plainly　in　view。　　All　in　vain。　　General　William　Siddall　gazed　placidlyand　saw　nothing。

Several　days　of　these　failures；　and　with　her　funds　reduced　to　a　fifty…centime　piece　and　a　two…sous　copper　she　made　a　frontal　attack。　　When　they　went　forth　for　the　day's　shopping　she　left　her　gold　bag　behind。　　After　an　hour　or　so　she　said：

‘‘I've　got　to　go　to　the　Galleries　Lafayette　for　some　little　things。　　I　shan't　ask　you　to　sacrifice　yourself。　　I　know　you　hate　those　stuffy；　smelly　big　shops。''

‘‘Very　well；''　said　he。　　‘‘I'll　use　the　time　in　a　call　on　my　bankers。''

As　they　were　about　to　separate；　she　taking　the　motor　and　he　walking；　she　made　a　face　of　charming　dismay　and　said：　　‘‘How　provoking！　　I've　left　my　bag　at　the　hotel。''

Instead　of　the　expected　prompt　offer　of　money　he　said；　‘‘It'll　only　take　you　a　minute　or　so　to　drive　there。''

‘‘But　it's　out　of　the　way；''　she　replied。　　‘‘I'll　need　only　a　hundred　francs　or　so。''

Said　he：　　‘‘I've　an　account　at　the　Bon　Marche。　　Go　there　and　have　the　things　charged。　　It's　much　the　best　big　shop　in　Paris。''

‘‘Very　well；''　was　all　she　could　trust　herself　to　say。　She　concealed　her　anger　beneath　a　careless　smile　and　drove　away。　　How　dense　he　was！　　Could　anything　be　more　exasperatingor　more　disagreeable？　　What　SHOULD　she　do？　　The　situation　was　intolerable；　yet　how　could　it　be　ended；　except　by　a　humiliating　direct　request　for　money？　　She　wondered　how　young　wives　habitually　dealt　with　this　problem；　when　they　happened　to　marry　husbands　so　negligent；　not　to　say　underbred；　as　to　cause　them　the　awkwardness　and　the　shame。　　There　followed　several　days　during　which　the　money　idea　was　an　obsession；　nagging　and　grinning　at　her　every　in…　stant。　　The　sight　of　money　gave　her　a　peculiar　itching　sensation。　　When　the　little　general　paid　for　anything　always　drawing　out　a　great　sheaf　of　bank　notes　in　doing　itshe　flushed　hot　and　cold；　her　glance　fell　guiltily　and　sought　the　money　furtively。　　At　last　her　desperation　gave　birth　to　an　inspiration。

About　her　and　the　general；　or；　rather；　about　the　general；　revolved　the　usual　rich　man's　small　army　of　satellites　of　various　degreessecretaries；　butlers；　footmen；　valets；　other　servants　male　and　female；　some　of　them　supposed　to　be　devoted　entirely　to　her　service；　but　all　in　fact　looking　ever　to　the　little　general。　　The　members　of　this　company；　regardless　of　differences　of　rank　and　pay；　were　banded　together　in　a　sort　of　democratic　fellowship；　talking　freely　with　one　another；　on　terms　of　perfect　equality。　　She　herself　had；　curiously；　gotten　on　excellent　terms　with　this　motley　fraternity　and　found　no　small　relief　from　the　strain　of　the　general's　formal　dignity　in　talking　with　them　with　a　freedom　and　ease　she　had　never　before　felt　in　the　society　of　underlings。　The　most　conspicuous　and　most　agreeable　figure　in　this　company　was　Harding；　the　general's　factotum。　　Why　not　lay　the　case　before　Harding？　　He　was　notably　sensible；　and　sympatheticand　discreet。

The　following　day　she　did　so。　　Said　she；　blushing　furiously：　　‘‘Mr。　Harding；　I　find　myself　in　a　very　embarrassing　position。　　I　wonder　if　you　can　help　me？''

Harding；　a　young　man　and　of　one　of　the　best　blond　types；　said：　　‘‘No　doubt　I　canand　I'll　be　glad　to。''

‘‘The　fact　is''　　Her　voice　was　trembling　with　nervousness。　　She　opened　the　gold　bag；　took　out　the　little　silver　pieces　and　the　big　copper　piece；　extended　her　pink　palm　with　them　upon　it‘‘there's　all　I've　got　left　of　the　money　I　brought　with　me。''

Harding　gazed　at　the　exhibit　tranquilly。　　He　was　chiefly　remarkable　for　his　perfect　self…possession。　　Said　he：　　‘‘Do　you　wish　me　to　cash　a　check　for　you？''

The　stupidity　of　men！　　Tears　of　vexation　gathered　in　her　eyes。　　When　she　could　speak　she　faltered：

‘‘No。''

He　was　looking　at　her　nowa　grave；　kind　glance。

She　somehow　felt　encouraged　and　heartened。　　She　went　on：　　‘‘I　was　hopingthatthat　the　gen　that　my　husband　had　said　something　to　you　and　that　you　perhaps　had　not　thought　to　say　anything　to　me。''

Their　glances　met；　his　movingly　sympathetic　and　understanding；　hers　piteously　forlornthe　look　of　a　lovely　girl；　stranded　and　friendless　in　a　far　strange　land。　　Presently　he　said　gently：

‘‘Yes；　he　told　me　to　say　something　to　youif　you　should　speak　to　me　about　this　matter。''　　His　tone　caused　in　her　heart　a　horrible　stillness　of　suspense。　　He　went　on：　　‘‘He　saidI　give　you　his　exact　words：　‘If　my　wife　should　ask　you　for　money；　tell　her　my　ideas　on　the　subject。'　''

A　pause。　　She　started　up；　crimson；　her　glance　darting　nervously　this　way　and　that　to　avoid　his。　　‘‘Never　mind。　　Really；　it's　of　no　importance。　　Thank　you　I'll　get　on　very　wellI'm　sorry　to　have　troubled　you''

‘‘Pardon　me；　Mrs。　Siddall；''　he　interposed；　‘‘but　I　think　you'd　best　let　me　finish。''

She　started　to　protest；　she　tried　to　move　toward　the　door。　　Her　strength　failed　her；　she　sat　down；　waited；　nervously　clasping　and　unclasping　the　costly；　jewel…　embroidered　bag。

‘‘He　has　explained　to　me；　many　times；''　continued　Harding；　‘‘that　he　believes　women　do　not　understand　the　value　of　money　and　ought　not　to　be　trusted　with　it。　He　proposes　to　provide　everything　for　you；　every　comfort　and　luxuryI　am　using　his　own　language；　Mrs。　Siddalland　he　has　open　accounts　at　the　principal　shops　in　every　city　where　you　will　goNew　York；　Washington；　Chicago；　Denver；　Paris；　London；　Rome。　He　says　you　are　at　liberty　to　get　practically　anything　you　please　at　these　shops；　and　he　will　pay　the　bills。　He　thus　entirely　spares　you　the　necessity　of　ever　spending　any　money。　　Should　you　see　anything　you　wish　at　some　shop　where　he　has　no　account；　you　can　have　it　sent　collect；　and　I　or　my　assistant；　Mr。　Drawl；　will　settle　for　it。　　All　he　asks　is　that　you　use　discretion　in　this　freedom。　　He　says　it　would　be　extremely　painful　to　him　to　have　to　withdraw　it。''

Harding　had　pronounced　this　long　speech　in　a　dry　monotonous　voice；　like　one　reading　mechanically　from　a　dull　book。　　As　Mildred　listened；　her　thoughts　began　to　whirl　about　the　central　idea　until　she　fell　into　a　kind　of　stupor。　　When　he　finished　she　was　staring　vacantly　at　the　bag　in　her　lapthe　bag　she　was　holding　open　wide。

Harding　continued：　　‘‘He　also　instructed　me　to　say　something　about　his　formerhis　experiences。　　The　first　Mrs。　Siddall　he　married　when　he　was　very　young　and　poor。　　As　he　grew　rich；　she　became　madly　extravagant。　And　as　they　had　started　on　a　basis　on　which　she　had　free　access　to　his　money　he　could　not　check　her。　The　result；　finally；　was　a　succession　of　bitter　quarrels；　and　they　were　about　to　divorce　when　she　died。　　He　made　the　second　Mrs。　Siddall　an　allowance；　a　liberal　allowance。　　Her　follies　compelled　him　to　withdraw　it。　She　resorted　to　underhanded　means　to　get　money　from　him　without　his　knowing　it。　　He　detected　the　fraud。　After　a　series　of　disagreeable　incidents　she　committed　the　indiscretion　which　caused　him　to　divorce　her。　　He　says　that　these　experiences　have　convinced　him　that''

‘‘The　second　Mrs。　Siddall；''　interrupted　Mildred；　‘‘is　she　still　alive？''

Harding　hesitated。　　‘‘Yes；''　he　said　reluctantly。

‘‘Is　shepoor？''　asked　Mildred。

‘‘I　should　prefer　not　to''

‘‘Did　the　general　forbid　you　to　tell　me？''

‘‘On　the　contrary；　he　instructed　me　　But　I'd　rather　not　talk　about　it；　Mrs。　Siddall。''

‘‘Is　she　poor？''　repeated　Mildred。

‘‘Yes。''

‘‘What　became　of　her？''

A　long　pause。　　Then　Harding　said：　　‘‘She　was　a　poor　girl　when　the　general　married　her。　　After　the　divorce　she　lived　for　a　while　with　the　man。　　But　he　had　nothing。　　They　separated。　　She　tried　various　kinds　of　workand　other　things。　　Since　she　lost　her　looks　She　writes　from　time　to　time；　asking　for　money。''

‘‘Which　she　never　gets？''　said　Mildred。

‘‘Which　she　never　gets；''　said　Harding。　　‘‘Lately　she　was　cashier　or　head　waitress　in　a　cheap　restaurant　in　St。　Louis。''

After　a　long　silence　Mildred　said：　　‘‘I　understand。　I　understand。''　　She　drew　a　long　breath。　　‘‘I　shall　understand　better　as　time　goes　on；　but　I　understand　fairly　well　now。''

‘‘I　need　not　tell　you；　Mrs。　Siddall；''　said　Harding　in　his　gentle；　tranquil　way；　‘‘that　the　general　is　the　kindest　and　most　generous　of　men；　but　he　has　his　own　methods　as　who　has　not？''

Mildred　had　forgotten　that　he　was　therenot　a　difficult　matter；　when　he　had　in　its　perfection　the　secretarial　manner　of　complete　self…effacement。　　Said　she　reflectively；　like　one　puzzling　out　a　difficult　problem：

‘‘He　buys　a　woman；　as　he　buys　a　dog　or　a　horse。　He　does　not　give　his　dog；　his　horse；　pocket…money。　Why　should　he　give　his　woman　pocket…money？''

‘‘Will　it　help　matters；　Mrs。　Siddall；　to　go　to　the　other　extreme　and　do　him　a　grave　injustice？''

She　did　not　hear。　　At　the　picture　presented　to　her　mind　by　her　own　thoughts　she　gave　a　short　satirical　laugh。　　‘‘How　stupid　of　me　not　to　have　understood　from　the　outset；''　said　she。　　‘‘Why；　I've　often　heard　of　this　very　thing。''

‘‘It　is　more　and　more　the　custom　among　men　of　large　property；　I　believe；''　said　Harding。　　‘‘Perhaps；　Mrs。　Siddall；　you　would　not　blame　them　if　you　were　in　their　position。　　The　rich　men　who　are　carelessthey　ruin　everybody　about　them；　I　assure　you。　　I've　seen　it　again　and　again。''

But　the　young　wife　was　absorbed　in　her　own　thoughts。　　Harding；　feeling　her　mood；　did　not　interrupt。　After　a　while　she　said：

‘‘I　must　ask　you　some　questions。　　These　jewels　the　general　has　been　buying''

Harding　made　a　movement　of　embarrassment　and　protest。　　She　smiled　ironically　and　went　on：

‘‘One　moment；　please。　　Every　time　I　wish　to　wear　any　of　them　I　have　to　go　to　him　to　get　them。　　He　asks　me　to　return　them　when　I　am　undressing。　　He　says　it　is　safer　to　keep　everything　in　his　strong　box。　　I　have　been　assuming　that　that　was　the　only　reason。　　I　begin　to　suspect　　Am　I　right；　Mr。　Harding？''

‘‘Really　I　can't　say；　Mrs。　Siddall；''　said　Harding。　‘‘These　are　not　matters　to　discuss　with　me；　if　you　will　permit　me　to　say　so。''

‘‘Oh；　yes；　they　are；''　replied　she　laughingly。　‘‘Aren't　we　all　in　the　same　boat？all　employes　of　the　general？''

Harding　made　no　reply。

Mildred　was　beside　herself　with　a　kind　of　rage　that；　because　outlet　was　necessary　and　because　raving　against　the　little　general　would　be　absolutely　futile；　found　outlet　in　self…mockery　and　reckless　sarcasm。

‘‘I　understand　about　the　jewels；　too；''　she　went　on。　‘‘They　are　not　mine。　　Nothing　i