the price she paid-第17章

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pera　voice。　　I've　heard　lots　of　people　say　so；　and　it　sounded　that　way　to　me。　　You　must　cultivate　your　voice。''

Mildred　laughed。　　‘‘Don't　talk　nonsense。　　Even　I　know　that's　nonsense。　　The　lessons　alone　would　cost　thousands　of　dollars。　　And　how　could　I　live　for　the　four　or　five　years？''

‘‘You　didn't　let　me　finish；''　said　Baird。　　‘‘I　was　going　to　say　that　when　you　get　to　New　York　you　must　go　and　have　your　voice　passed　onby　some　impartial　person。　　If　that　person　says　it's　worth　cultivating；　why；　I'm　willing　to　back　youas　a　business　proposition。　I　can　afford　to　take　the　risk。　　So；　you　see；　it's　all　perfectly　simple。''

He　had　spoken　rapidly；　with　a　covert　suggestion　of　fear　lest　she　would　rebuke　him　sharply　for　what　she　might　regard　as　an　impertinent　offer。　　She　surprised　him　by　looking　at　him　calmly；　reflectively；　and　saying：

‘‘Yes；　you　could　afford　it；　couldn't　you？''

‘‘I'm　sure　I　could。　　And　it's　the　sort　of　thing　that's　done　every　day。　　Of　course；　no　one'd　know　that　we　had　made　this　little　business　arrangement。　　But　that's　easily　managed。　　I'd　be　glad　if　you'd　let　me　do　it；　Mildred。　I'd　like　to　feel　that　I　was　of　some　use　in　the　world。　And　I'd　like　to　do　something　for　YOU。''

By　way　of　exceedingly　cautious　experiment　he　ventured　to　put　ever　so　slight　an　accent　of　tenderness　upon　the　‘‘you。''　　He　observed　her　furtively　but　nervously。　He　could　not　get　a　hint　of　what　was　in　her　mind。　　She　gazed　out　toward　the　rising　and　falling　horizon　line。　Presently　she　said：

‘‘I'll　think　about　it。''

‘‘You　must　let　me　do　it；　Mildred。　　It's　the　sensible　thingand　you　know　me　well　enough　to　know　that　my　friendship　can　be　counted　on。''

‘‘I'll　think　about　it；''　was　all　she　would　concede。

They　discussed　the　singing　career　all　that　and　the　succeeding　daysthe　possibilities；　the　hopes；　the　dangers　but　the　hopes　a　great　deal　more　than　the　dangers。　He　became　more　and　more　interested　in　her　and　in　the　project；　as　her　beauty　shone　out　with　the　tranquillizing　sea　and　as　her　old　charm　of　cleverness　at　saying　things　that　amused　him　reasserted　itself。　　She；　dubious　and　lukewarm　at　first；　soon　was　trying　to　curb　her　own　excited　optimism；　but　long　before　they　sighted　Sandy　Hook　she　was　merely　pretending　to　hang　back。　He　felt　discouraged　by　her　parting！　　‘‘If　I　decide　to　go　on；　I'll　write　you　in　a　few　days。''　　But　he　need　not　have　felt　so。　　She　had　made　up　her　mind　to　accept　his　offer。　　As　for　the　complications　involved　in　such　curiously　intimate　relations　with　a　man　of　his　temperament；　habits；　and　inclinations；　she　saw　them　very　vaguely　in…　deedrefused　to　permit　herself　to　see　them　any　less　vaguely。　　Time　enough　to　deal　with　complications　when　and　as　they　arose；　why　needlessly　and　foolishly　annoy　herself　and　hamper　herself？　　Said　she　to　herself；　‘‘I　must　begin　to　be　practical。''



IV


AT　the　pier　Mildred　sent　her　mother　a　telegram；　giving　the　train　by　which　she　would　arrivethat　and　nothing　more。　　As　she　descended　from　the　parlor…car　there　stood　Mrs。　Presbury　upon　the　platform；　face　wreathed　in　the　most　joyous　of　welcoming　smiles；　not　a　surface　trace　of　the　curiosity　and　alarm　storming　within。　　After　they　had　kissed　and　embraced　with　a　genuine　emotion　which　they　did　not　try　to　hide；　because　both　suddenly　became　unconscious　of　that　world　whereof　ordinarily　they　were　constantly　mindfulafter　caresses　and　tears　Mrs。　Presbury　said：

‘‘It's　all　very　well　to　dress　plain；　when　everyone　knows　you　can　afford　the　best。　　But　don't　you　think　you're　overdoing　it　a　little？''

Mildred　laughed　somewhat　nervously。　　‘‘Wait　till　we're　safe　at　home；''　said　she。

On　the　way　up　from　the　station　in　the　carriage　they　chattered　away　in　the　liveliest　fashion；　to　make　the　proper　impression　upon　any　observing　Hanging…　Rockers。　　‘‘Luckily；　Presbury's　gone　to　town　to…day；''　said　his　wife。　　‘‘But　really　he's　quite　livablehasn't　gone　back　to　his　old　ways。　　He　doesn't　know　it；　but　he's　rapidly　growing　deaf。　　He　imagines　that　everyone　is　speaking　more　and　more　indistinctly；　and　he　has　lost　interest　in　conversation。　　Then；　too；　he　has　done　well　in　Wall　Street；　and　that　has　put　him　in　a　good　humor。''

‘‘He'll　not　be　surprised　to　see　mealone；''　said　Mildred。

‘‘Wait　till　we're　home；''　said　her　mother　nervously。

At　the　house　Mrs。　Presbury　carried　on　a　foolish；　false…sounding　conversation　for　the　benefit　of　the　servants；　and　finally　conducted　Mildred　to　her　bedroom　and　shut　doors　and　drew　portieres　and　glanced　into　closets　before　saying：　　‘‘Now；　what　IS　the　matter；　Millie？　WHERE　is　your　husband？''

‘‘In　Paris；　I　suppose；''　replied　Mildred。　　‘‘I　have　left　him；　and　I　shall　never　go　back。''

‘‘Presbury　said　you　would！''　cried　her　mother。　‘‘But　I　didn't　believe　it。　　I　don't　believe　it。　　I　brought　you　up　to　do　your　duty；　and　I　know　you　will。''

This　was　Mildred's　first　opportunity　for　frank　and　plain　speaking；　and　that　is　highly　conducive　to　frank　and　plain　thinking。　　She　now　began　to　see　clearly　why　she　had　quit　the　general。　　Said　she：　　‘‘Mamma；　to　be　honest　and　not　mince　words；　I've　left　him　because　there's　nothing　in　it。''

‘‘Isn't　he　rich？''　inquired　her　mother。　　‘‘I've　always　had　a　kind　of　present''

‘‘Oh；　he's　rich；　all　right；''　interrupted　the　girl。　‘‘But　he　saw　to　it　that　I　got　no　benefit　from　that。''

‘‘But　you　wrote　me　how　he　was　buying　you　everything！''

‘‘So　I　thought。　　In　fact　he　was　buying　ME　nothing。''　And　she　went　on　to　explain　the　general's　system。

Her　mother　listened　impatiently。　　She　would　have　in…　terrupted　the　long　and　angry　recital　many　times　had　not　Mildred　insisted　on　a　full　hearing　of　her　grievances；　of　the　outrages　that　had　been　heaped　upon　her。　‘‘And；''　she　ended；　‘‘I　suppose　he's　got　it　so　arranged　that　he　could　have　me　arrested　as　a　thief　for　taking　the　gold　bag。''

‘‘Yes；　it's　terrible　and　all　that；''　said　her　mother。　‘‘But　I　should　have　thought　living　with　me　here　when　Presbury　was　carrying　on　so　dreadfully　would　have　taught　you　something。　　Your　case　isn't　an　exception；　any　more　than　mine　is。　　That's　the　sort　of　thing　we　women　have　to　put　up　with　from　men；　when　we're　in　their　power。''

‘‘Not　I；''　said　Mildred　loftily。

‘‘Yes；　you；''　retorted　her　mother。　　‘‘ANY　woman。　EVERY　woman。　　Unless　we　have　money　of　our　own；　we　all　have　trouble　with　the　men　about　money；　sooner　or　later；　in　one　way　or　another。　　And　rich　men！why；　it's　notorious　that　they're　always　more　or　less　mean　about　money。　A　wife　has　got　to　use　tact。　　Why；　I　even　had　to　use　some　tact　with　your　father；　and　he　was　as　generous　a　man　as　ever　lived。　　Tactthat's　a　woman's　whole　life。　You　ought　to　have　used　tact。　　You'll　go　back　to　him　and　use　tact。''

‘‘You　don't　know　him；　mamma！''　cried　Mildred。　‘‘He's　a　monster。　　He　isn't　human。''

Mrs。　Presbury　drew　a　long　face　and　said　in　a　sad；　soothing　voice：　　‘‘Yes；　I　know；　dear。　　Men　are　very；　very　awful；　in　some　ways；　to　a　nice　womanwith　refined；　ladylike　instincts。　　It's　a　great　shock　to　a　pure''

‘‘Oh；　gammon！''　interrupted　Mildred。　　‘‘Don't　be　silly；　mother。　　It　isn't　worth　while　for　one　woman　to　talk　that　kind　of　thing　to　another。　　I　didn't　fully　know　what　I　was　doing　when　I　married　a　man　I　didn't　love　a　man　who　was　almost　repulsive　to　me。　　But　I　knew　enough。　　And　I　was　getting　along　well　enough；　as　any　woman　does；　no　matter　what　she　may　sayyes；　you　needn't　look　shocked；　for　that's　hypocrisy；　and　I　know　it　now　　But；　as　I　was　saying；　I　didn't　begin　to　HATE　him　until　he　tried　to　make　a　slave　of　me。　　A　slave！''　she　shuddered。　　‘‘He's　a　monster！''

‘‘A　little　tact；　and　you　can　get　everything　you　want；''　insisted　her　mother。

‘‘I　tell　you；　you　don't　know　the　man；''　cried　Mildred。　‘‘By　tact　I　suppose　you　mean　I　could　have　sold　things　behind　his　backand　all　that。''　　She　laughed。　　‘‘He　hasn't　got　any　back。　　He　had　it　so　arranged　that　those　cold；　wicked　eyes　of　his　were　always　watching　me。　　His　second　wife　tried　‘tact。'　　He　caught　her　and　drove　her　into　the　streets。　　I'd　have　had　no　chance　to　get　a　cent；　and　if　I　had　gotten　it　I'd　not　have　dared　spend　it。　　Do　you　imagine　I　ran　away　from　him　without　having　THOUGHT？　　If　there'd　been　any　way　of　staying　on；　any　way　of　making　things　even　endurable；　I'd　have　stayed。''

‘‘But　you've　got　to　go　back；　Milly；''　cried　her　mother；　in　tears。

‘‘You　mean　that　you　can't　support　me？''

‘‘And　your　brother　Frank''　Mrs。　Presbury's　eyes　flashed　and　her　rather　stout　cheeks　quivered。　　‘‘I　never　thought　I'd　tell　anybody；　but　I'll　tell　you。　　I　never　liked　your　brother　Frank；　and　he　never　liked　me。　That　sounds　dreadful；　doesn't　it？''

‘‘No；　mother　dear；''　said　Mildred　gently。　　‘‘I've　learned　that　life　isn't　at　all　asas　everybody　pretends。''

‘‘Indeed　it　isn't；''　said　her　mother。　　‘‘Mothers　always　have　favorites　among　their　children；　and　very　often　a　mother　dislikes　one　of　her　children。　　Of　course　she　hides　her　feeling　and　does　her　duty。　　But　all　the　same　she　can't　help　the　feeling　that　is　down　in　her　heart。　　I　had　a　presentiment　before　he　was　born　that　I　wouldn't　like　him；　and　sure　enough；　I　didn't。　　And　he　didn't　like　me；　or　his　father；　or　any　of　us。''

‘‘It　would　never　occur　to　me　to　turn　to　him；''　said　Mildred。

‘‘Then　you　see　that　you've　got　to　go　back　to　the　general。　　You　can't　get　a　divorce　and　alimony；　for　it　was　you　that　left　himand　for　no　cause。　　He　was　within　his　rights。''

Mildred　hesitated；　confessed：　　‘‘I　had　thought　of　going　back　to　him　and　acting　in　such　a　way　that　he'd　be　glad　to　give　me　a　divorce　and　an　allowance。''

‘‘Yes；　you　might　do　that；''　said　her　mother。　　‘‘A　great　many　women　do。　　And；　after　all；　haven't　they　a　right　to？　　A　lady　has　got　to　have　proper　support；　and　is　it　just　to　ask　her　to　live　with　a　man　she　loathes？''

‘‘I　haven't　thought　of　the　right　or　wrong　of　it；''　said　Mildred。　　‘‘It　looks　to　me　as　though　right　and　wrong　have　very　little　to　do　with　life　as　it's　lived。　　They're　for　hypocritesand　fools。''

‘‘Mildred！''　exclaimed　her　mother；　deeply　shocked。

Mildred　was　not　a　little　shocked　at　her　own　thoughts　as　she　inspected　them　in　the　full　light　into　which　speech　had　dragged　them。　　‘‘Anyhow；''　she　went　on；　‘‘I　soon　saw　that　such　a　plan　was　hopeless。　　He's　not　the　man　to　be　trifled　with。　　Long　before　I　could　drive　him　to　give　me　a　living　and　let　me　go　he　would　have　driven　me　to　flight　or　suicide。''

Her　mother　had　now　had　time　to　reflect　upon　Mildred's　revelations。　　Aided　by　the　impressions　she　herself　had　gotten　of　the　little　general；　she　began　to　understand　why　her　daughter　had　fled　and　why　she　would　not　return。　She　felt　that　the　situation　was　one　which　time　alone　could　solve。　　Said　she：　　‘‘Well；　the　best　thing　is　for　you　to　stay　on　here　and　wait　until　he　makes　some　move。''

‘‘He'll　have　me　watchedthat's　all　he'll　do；''　said　Mildred。　　‘‘When　he　gets　ready　he'll　divorce　me　for　deserting　him。''

Mrs。　Presbury　felt　that　she　was　right。　　But；　concealing　her　despondency；　she　said：　　‘‘All　we　can　do　is　to　wait　and　see。　　You　must　send　for　your　luggage。''

‘‘I've　nothing　but　a　large　bag；''　said　Mildred。　　‘‘I　checked　it　in　the　parcel…room　of　the　New　York　station。''

Mrs。　Presbury　was　overwhelmed。　　How　account　to　Hanging　Rock　for　the　reappearance　of　a　baggageless　and　husbandless　bride？　　But　she　held　up　bravely。　With　a　cheerfulness　that　did　credit　to　her　heart　and　showed　how　well　she　loved　her　daughter　she　said：　　‘‘We　must　do　the　best　we　can。　　We'll