the price she paid-第2章

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　poison　as　the　air　of　a　kitchen…garden　with　onions。　　She　knew　nothing　else。　　The　secret　intention　to　refuse　Stanley　Baird；　should　he　propose；　was　therefore　the　more　astonishingand　the　more　significant。　　From　time　to　time　in　any　given　environment　you　will　find　some　isolated　person；　some　personality；　with　a　trait　wholly　foreign　and　out　of　place　there。　　Now　it　is　a　soft　voice　and　courteous　manners　in　a　slum；　again　it　is　a　longing　for　a　life　of　freedom　and　equality　in　a　member　of　a　royal　family　that　has　known　nothing　but　sordid　slavery　for　centuries。　　Or；　in　the　petty　conventionality　of　a　prosperous　middle…　or　upper…class　community　you　come　upon　one　who　dreamsperhaps　vaguely　but　still　longinglyof　an　existence　where　love　and　ideas　shall　elevate　and　glorify　life。　　In　spite　of　her　training；　in　spite　of　the　teaching　and　example　of　all　about　her　from　the　moment　of　her　opening　her　eyes　upon　the　world；　Mildred　Gower　at　twenty…three　still　retained　something　of　these　dream　flowers　sown　in　the　soil　of　her　naturally　good　mind　by　some　book　or　play　or　perhaps　by　some　casually　read　and　soon　forgotten　article　in　magazine　or　newspaper。　　We　have　the　habit　of　thinking　only　weeds　produce　seeds　that　penetrate　and　prosper　everywhere　and　anywhere。　　The　truth　is　that　fine　plants　of　all　kinds；　vegetable；　fruit；　and　flower　of　rarest　color　and　perfume；　have　this　same　hardiness　and　fecundity。　　Pull　away　at　the　weeds　in　your　garden　for　a　while；　and　see　if　this　is　not　so。　　Though　you　may　plant　nothing；　you　will　be　amazed　at　the　results　if　you　but　clear　a　little　space　of　its　weedswhich　you　have　been　planting　and　cultivating。

Mildredwoman　fashionregarded　it　as　a　reproach　upon　her　that　she　had　not　yet　succeeded　in　making　the　marriage　everyone；　including　herself；　predicted　for　her　and　expected　of　her。　　On　the　contrary；　it　was　the　most　savage　indictment　possible　of　the　marriageable　and　marrying　men　who　had　met　herof　their　stupidity；　of　their　short…sighted　and　mean…souled　calculation；　of　their　lack　of　couragethe　courage　to　take　what　they；　as　men　of　flesh　and　blood　wanted；　instead　of　what　their　snobbishness　ordered。　　And　if　Stanley　Baird；　the　nearest　to　a　flesh…and…blood　man　of　any　who　had　known　her；　had　not　been　so　profoundly　afraid　of　his　fashionable　mother　and　of　his　sister；　the　Countess　of　Waring　　But　he　was　profoundly　afraid　of　them；　so；　it　is　idle　to　speculate　about　him。

What　did　men　see　when　they　looked　at　Mildred　Gower？　　Usually；　when　men　look　at　a　woman；　they　have　a　hazy；　either　pleasant　or　unpleasant；　sense　of　something　feminine。　　That；　and　nothing　more。　　Afterward；　through　some　whim　or　some　thrust　from　chance　they　may　see　in　her；　or　fancy　they　see　in　her；　the　thing　feminine　that　their　soulsit　is　always　‘‘soul''most　yearns　after。　　But　just　at　first　glance；　so　colorless　or　conventionally　colored　is　the　usual　human　being；　the　average　womanindeed　every　woman　but　she　who　is　exceptionalcreates　upon　man　the　mere　impression　of　pleasant　or　unpleasant　petticoats。　　In　the　exceptional　woman　something　obtrudes。　　She　has　astonishing　hair；　or　extraordinary　eyes；　or　a　mouth　that　seems　to　draw　a　man　like　a　magnet；　or　it　is　the　allure　of　a　peculiar　smile　or　of　a　figure　whose　sinuosities　as　she　moves　seem　to　cause　a　corresponding　wave…disturbance　in　masculine　nerves。　　Further；　the　possession　of　one　of　these　signal　charms　usually　causes　all　her　charms　to　have　more　than　ordinary　potency。　　The　sight　of　the　man　is　so　bewitched　by　the　one　potent　charm　that　he　sees　the　whole　woman　under　a　spell。

Mildred　Gower；　of　the　medium　height　and　of　a　slender　and　well…formed　figure；　had　a　face　of　the　kind　that　is　called　lovely；　and　her　smile；　sweet；　dreamy；　revealing　white　and　even　teeth；　gave　her　loveliness　delicate　animation。　　She　had　an　abundance　of　hair；　neither　light　nor　dark；　she　had　a　fine　clear　skin。　　Her　eyes；　gray　and　rather　serious　and　well　set　under　long　straight　brows；　gave　her　a　look　of　honesty　and　intelligence。　But　the　charm　that　won　men；　her　charm　of　charms；　was　her　mouthmobile；　slightly　pouted；　not　too　narrow；　of　a　wonderful；　vividly　healthy　and　vital　red。　　She　had　beauty；　she　had　intelligence。　　But　it　was　impossible　for　a　man　to　think　of　either；　once　his　glance　had　been　caught　by　those　expressive；　inviting　lips　of　hers；　so　young；　so　fresh；　with　their　ever…changing；　ever…　fascinating　line　expressing　in　a　thousand　ways　the　passion　and　poetry　of　the　kiss。

Of　all　the　men　who　had　admired　her　and　had　edged　away　because　they　feared　she　would　bewitch　them　into　forgetting　what　the　world　calls　‘‘good　common　sense''　of　all　those　men　only　one　had　suspected　the　real　reason　for　her　physical　power　over　men。　　All　but　Stanley　Baird　had　thought　themselves　attracted　because　she　was　so　pretty　or　so　stylish　or　so　clever　and　amusing　to　talk　with。　　Baird　had　lived　intelligently　enough　to　learn　that　feminine　charm　is　never　general；　is　always　specific。　　He　knew　it　was　Mildred　Gower's　lips　that　haunted；　that　frightened　ambitious　men　away；　that　sent　men　who　knew　they　hadn't　a　ghost　of　a　chance　with　her　discontentedly　back　to　the　second…choice　women　who　alone　were　available　for　them。　　Fortunately　for　Mildred；　Stanley　Baird；　too　wise　to　flatter　a　woman　discriminatingly；　did　not　tell　her　the　secret　of　her　fascination。　　If　he　had　told　her；　she　would　no　doubt　have　tried　to　train　and　to　use　itand　so　would　inevitably　have　lost　it。

To　go　on　with　that　important　conference　in　the　sitting…room　in　the　handsome；　roomy　house　of　the　Gowers　at　Hanging　Rock；　Frank　Gower　eagerly　seized　upon　his　wife's　subtly　nasty　remark。　　‘‘I　don't　see　why　in　thunder　you　haven't　married；　Milly；''　said　he。　　‘‘You've　had　every　chance；　these　last　four　or　five　years。''

‘‘And　it'll　be　harder　now；''　moaned　her　mother。　‘‘For　it　looks　as　though　we　were　going　to　be　wretchedly　poor。　　And　poverty　is　so　repulsive。''

‘‘Do　you　think；''　said　Mildred；　‘‘that　giving　me　the　idea　that　I　must　marry　right　away　will　make　it　easier　for　me　to　marry？　　Everyone　who　knows　us　knows　our　circumstances。''　　She　looked　significantly　at　Frank's　wife；　who　had　been　wailing　through　Hanging　Rock　the　woeful　plight　of　her　dead　father…in…law's　family。　The　young　Mrs。　Gower　blushed　and　glanced　away。　‘‘And；''　Mildred　went　on；　‘‘everyone　is　saying　that　I　must　marry　at　oncethat　there's　nothing　else　for　me　to　do。''　　She　smiled　bitterly。　　‘‘When　I　go　into　the　street　again　I　shall　see　nothing　but　flying　men。　　And　no　man　would　come　to　call　unless　he　brought　a　chaperon　and　a　witness　with　him。''

‘‘How　can　you　be　so　frivolous？''　reproached　her　mother。

Mildred　was　used　to　being　misunderstood　by　her　mother；　who　had　long　since　been　made　hopelessly　dull　by　the　suffocating　life　she　led　and　by　pain　from　her　feet；　which　never　left　her　at　ease　for　a　moment　except　when　she　had　them　soaking　in　cold　water。　　Mrs。　Gower　had　been　born　with　ordinary　feet；　neither　ugly　nor　pretty　and　entirely　fit　for　the　uses　for　which　nature　intended　feet。　　She　had　spoiled　them　by　wearing　shoes　to　make　them　look　smaller　and　slimmer　than　they　were。　In　steady　weather　she　was　plaintive；　in　changeable　weather　she　varied　between　irritable　and　violent。

Said　Mildred　to　her　brother：　　‘‘How　muchJUST　how　much　is　there？''

‘‘I　can't　say　exactly；''　replied　her　brother；　who　had　not　yet　solved　to　his　satisfaction　the　moral　problem　of　how　much　of　the　estate　he　ought　to　allow　his　mother　and　sister　and　how　much　he　ought　to　claim　for　himself　in　such　a　way　that　the　claim　could　not　be　disputed。

Mildred　looked　fixedly　at　him。　　He　showed　his　uneasiness　not　by　glancing　away；　but　by　the　appearance　of　a　certain　hard　defiance　in　his　eyes。　　Said　she：

‘‘What　is　the　very　most　we　can　hope　for？''

A　silence。　　Her　mother　broke　it。　　‘‘Mildred；　how　CAN　you　talk　of　those　thingsalready？''

‘‘I　don't　know；''　replied　Mildred。　　‘‘Perhaps　because　it's　got　to　be　done。''

This　seemed　to　them　alland　to　herselfa　lame　excuse　for　such　apparent　hardness　of　heart。　　Her　father　had　always　been　SENDER…HEARTEDHAD　NEVER　SPOKEN　OF　MONEY；　OR　ENCOURAGED　HIS　FAMILY　IN　SPEAKING　OF　IT。

A　LONG　AND　PAINFUL　SILENCE。　　THEN；　THE　WIDOW　ABRUPTLY：

‘‘YOU'RE　SURE；　Frank；　there's　NO　insurance？''

‘‘Father　always　said　that　you　disliked　the　idea；''　replied　her　son；　‘‘that　you　thought　insurance　looked　like　your　calculating　on　his　death。''

Under　her　husband's　adroit　prompting　Mrs。　Gower　had　discovered　such　a　view　of　insurance　in　her　brain。　She　now　recalled　expressing　itand　regretted。　　But　she　was　silenced。　　She　tried　to　take　her　mind　of　the　sub…　ject　of　money。　　But；　like　Mildred；　she　could　not。　　The　thought　of　imminent　poverty　was　nagging　at　them　like　toothache。　　‘‘There'll　be　enough　for　a　year　or　so？''　she　said；　timidly　interrogative。

‘‘I　hope　so；''　said　Frank。

Mildred　was　eying　him　fixedly　again。　　Said　she：　‘‘Have　you　found　anything　at　all？''

‘‘He　had　about　eight　thousand　dollars　in　bank；''　said　Frank。　　‘‘But　most　of　it　will　go　for　the　pressing　debts。''

‘‘But　how　did　HE　expect　to　live？''　urged　Mildred。

‘‘Yes；　there　must　have　been　SOMETHING；''　said　her　mother。

‘‘Of　course；　there's　his　share　of　the　unsettled　and　unfinished　business　of　the　firm；''　admitted　Frank。

‘‘How　much　will　that　be？''　persisted　Mildred。

‘‘I　can't　tell；　offhand；''　said　Frank；　with　virtuous　reproach。　　‘‘My　mind's　been　onother　things。''

Henry　Gower's　widow　was　not　without　her　share　of　instinctive　shrewdness。　　Neither　had　she；　unobservant　though　she　was；　been　within　sight　of　her　son's　character　for　twenty…eight　years　without　having　unconfessed；　unformed　misgivings　concerning　it。　‘‘You　mustn't　bother　about　these　things　now；　Frank　dear；''　said　she。　　‘‘I'll　get　my　brother　to　look　into　it。''

‘‘That　won't　be　necessary；''　hastily　said　Frank。　　‘‘I　don't　want　any　rival　lawyer　peeping　into　our　firm's　affairs。''

‘‘My　brother　Wharton　is　the　soul　of　honor；''　said　Mrs。　Gower；　the　elder；　with　dignity。　　‘‘You　are　too　young　to　take　all　the　responsibility　of　settling　the　estate。　　Yes；　I'll　send　for　Wharton　to…morrow。''

‘‘It'll　look　as　though　you　didn't　trust　me；''　said　Frank　sourly。

‘‘We　mustn't　do　anything　to　start　the　gossips　in　this　town；''　said　his　wife；　assisting。

‘‘Then　send　for　him　yourself；　Frank；''　said　Mildred；　‘‘and　give　him　charge　of　the　whole　matter。''

Frank　eyed　her　furiously。　　‘‘How　ashamed　father　would　be！''　exclaimed　he。

But　this　solemn　invoking　of　the　dead　man's　spirit　was　uneffectual。　　The　specter　of　poverty　was　too　insistent；　too　terrible。　　Said　the　widow：

‘‘I'm　sure；　in　the　circumstances；　my　dear　dead　husband　would　want　me　to　get　help　from　someone　older　and　more　experienced。''

And　Frank；　guilty　of　conscience　and　an　expert　in　the　ways　of　conventional　and　highly　moral　rascality；　ceased　to　resist。　　His　wife；　scenting　danger　to　their　getting　the　share　that　‘‘rightfully　belongs　to　the　son；　especially　when　he　has　been　the　brains　of　the　firm　for　several　years；''　made　angry　and　indiscreet　battle　for　no　outside　interference。　　The　longer　she　talked　the　firmer　the　widow　and　the　daughter　became；　not　only　because　she　clarified　suspicions　that　had　been　too　hazy　to　take　form；　but　also　because　they　disliked　her　intensely。　The　following　day　Wharton　Conover　became　unofficial　administrator。　　He　had　no　difficulty　in　baffling　Frank　Gower's　half…hearted　and　clumsy　efforts　to　hide　two　large　fees　due　the　dead　man's　estate。　　He　discovered　clear　assets　amou