the price she paid-第44章

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e　songs；　you　never　heard　such　slop。''

‘‘The　stars　in　those　pieces　get　four　and　five　hundred；　and　more；　a　week；''　said　Mrs。　Belloc。　　‘‘Believe　me；　those　managers　don't　pay　out　any　such　sums　for　child's　play。　　You　look　out。　　You're　going　at　this　wrong。''

‘‘I　shan't　care　if　I　do　fail；''　said　Mildred。

‘‘Do　you　mean　that？''　demanded　Mrs。　Belloc。

‘‘No；　I　don't；''　said　Mildred。　　‘‘Oh；　I　don't　know　what　I　mean。''

‘‘I　guess　you're　just　talking；''　said　Mrs。　Belloc　after　a　reflective　silence。　　‘‘I　guess　a　girl　who　goes　and　gets　a　good　job；　first　crack　out　of　the　box；　must　have　a　streak　of　shrewdness。''

‘‘I　hope　so；''　said　Mildred　doubtfully。

‘‘I　guess　you'll　work　hard；　all　right。　　After　you　went　out　this　morning；　I　took　that　paper　down　to　Miss　Blond。　　She's　crazy　about　it。　　She　wants　to　make　a　copy　of　it。　　I　told　her　I'd　ask　you。''

‘‘Certainly；''　said　Mildred。　‘‘She　says　she'll　return　it　the　same　day。''

‘‘Tell　her　she　can　keep　it　as　long　as　she　likes。''

Mrs。　Belloc　eyed　her　gravely；　started　to　speak；　checked　herself。　　Instead；　she　said；　‘‘No；　I　shan't　do　that。　　I'll　have　it　back　in　your　room　by　this　evening。　You　might　change　your　mind；　and　want　to　use　it。''

‘‘Very　well；''　said　Mildred；　pointedly　uninterested　and　ignoring　Mrs。　Belloc's　delicate　but　distinct　emphasis　upon　‘‘might。''

Mrs。　Belloc　kept　a　suspicious　eye　upon　heran　eye　that　was　not　easily　deceived。　　The　more　she　thought　about　Mildred's　state　of　depression　and　disdain　the　more　tolerant　she　became。　　That　mood　was　the　natural　and　necessary　result　of　the　girl's　bringing　up　and　mode　of　life。　　The　important　thingand　the　wonderful　thing　was　her　being　able　to　overcome　it。　　After　a　week　of　rehearsal　she　said：　　‘‘I'm　making　the　best　of　it。　　But　I　don't　like　it；　and　never　shall。''

‘‘I　should　hope　not；''　replied　Mrs。　Belloc。　　‘‘You're　going　to　the　top。　　I'd　hate　to　see　you　contented　at　the　bottom。　　Aren't　you　learning　a　good　deal　that'll　be　useful　later　on？''

‘‘That's　why　I'm　reconciled　to　it；''　said　she。　　‘‘The　stage　director；　Mr。　Ransdell；　is　teaching　me　everything　even　how　to　sing。　　He　knows　his　business。''

Ransdell　not　only　knew；　but　also　took　endless　pains　with　her。　　He　was　a　tall；　thin；　dark　man；　strikingly　handsome　in　the　distinguished　way。　　So　distinguished　looking　was　he　that　to　meet　him　was　to　wonder　why　he　had　not　made　a　great　name　for　himself。　　An　extraordinary　mind　he　certainly　had；　and　an　insight　into　the　reasons　for　things　that　is　given　only　to　genius。　　He　had　failed　as　a　composer；　failed　as　a　playwright；　failed　as　a　singer；　failed　as　an　actor。　　He　had　been　forced　to　take　up　the　profession　of　putting　on　dramatic　and　musical　plays；　a　profession　that　required　vast　knowledge　and　high　talents　and　paid　for　them　in　niggardly　fashion　both　in　money　and　in　fame。　　Crossley　owed　to　him　more　than　to　any　other　single　element　the　series　of　successes　that　had　made　him　rich；　yet　the　ten　thousand　a　year　Crossley　paid　him　was　regarded　as　evidence　of　Crossley's　lavish　generosity　and　was　so。　　It　would　have　been　difficult　to　say　why　a　man　so　splendidly　endowed　by　nature　and　so　tireless　in　improving　himself　was　thus　unsuccessful。　　Probably　he　lacked　judgment；　indeed；　that　lack　must　have　been　the　cause。　　He　could　judge　for　Crossley；　but　not　for　himself；　not　when　he　had　the　feeling　of　ultimate　responsibility。

Mildred　had　anticipated　the　most　repulsive　associations　men　and　women　of　low　origin　and　of　vulgar　tastes　and　of　vulgarly　loose　lives。　　She　found　herself　surrounded　by　simple；　pleasant　people；　undoubtedly　erratic　for　the　most　part　in　all　their　habits；　but　without　viciousness。　　And　they　were　hard　workers；　all。　　Ransdell　for　Crossleytolerated　no　nonsense。　　His　people　could　live　as　they　pleased；　away　from　the　theater；　but　there　they　must　be　prompt　and　fit。　　The　discipline　was　as　severe　as　that　of　a　monastery。　　She　saw　many　signs　that　all　sorts　of　things　of　the　sort　with　which　she　wished　to　have　no　contact　were　going　on　about　her；　but　as　she　held　slightlybut　not　at　all　haughtilyaloof；　she　would　have　had　to　go　out　of　her　way　to　see　enough　to　scandalize　her。　　She　soon　suspected　that　she　was　being　treated　with　extraordinary　consideration。　　This　was　by　Crossley's　orders。　　But　the　carrying　out　of　their　spirit　as　well　as　their　letter　was　due　to　Ransdell。　　Before　the　end　of　that　first　week　she　knew　that　there　was　the　personal　element　behind　his　admiration　for　her　voice　and　her　talent　for　acting；　behind　his　concentrating　most　of　his　attention　upon　her　part。　　He　looked　his　love　boldly　whenever　they　were　alone；　he　was　always　trying　to　touch　hernever　in　a　way　that　she　could　have　resented；　or　felt　like　resenting。　　He　was　not　unattractive　to　her；　and　she　was　eager　to　learn　all　he　had　to　teach；　and　saw　no　harm　in　helping　herself　by　letting　him　love。

Toward　the　middle　of　the　second　week；　when　they　were　alone　in　her　dressing…room；　hewith　the　ingenious　lack　of　abruptness　of　the　experienced　man　at　the　game　took　her　hand；　and　before　she　was　ready；　kissed　her。　He　did　not　accompany　these　advances　with　an　outburst　of　passionate　words　or　with　any　fiery　lighting　up　of　the　eyes；　but　calmly；　smilingly；　as　if　it　were　what　she　was　expecting　him　to　do；　what　he　had　a　right　to　do。

She　did　not　know　quite　how　to　meet　this　novel　attack。　She　drew　her　hand　away；　went　on　talking　about　the　partthe　changes　he　had　suggested　in　her　entrance；　as　she　sang　her　best　solo。　　He　discussed　this　with　her　until　they　rose　to　leave　the　theater。　　He　looked　smilingly　down　on　her；　and　said　with　the　flattering　air　of　the　satisfied　connoisseur：

‘‘Yes；　you　are　charming；　Mildred。　　I　can　make　a　great　artist　and　a　great　success　out　of　you。　　We　need　each　other。''

‘‘I　certainly　need　you；''　said　she　gratefully。　　‘‘How　much　you've　done　for　me。''

‘‘Only　the　beginning；''　replied　he。　　‘‘Ah；　I　have　such　plans　for　yousuch　plans。　　Crossley　doesn't　realize　how　far　you　can　be　made　to　gowith　the　right　training。　　Without　it''　　He　shook　his　head　laughingly。　‘‘But　you　shall　have　it；　my　dear。''　　And　he　laid　his　hands　lightly　and　caressingly　upon　her　shoulders。

The　gesture　was　apparently　a　friendly　familiarity。　To　resent　it；　even　to　draw　away；　would　put　her　in　the　attitude　of　the　woman　absurdly　exercised　about　the　desirability　and　sacredness　of　her　own　charms。

Still　smiling；　in　that　friendly；　assured　way；　he　went　on：　　‘‘You've　been　very　cold　and　reserved　with　me；　my　dear。　　Very　unappreciative。''

Mildred；　red　and　trembling；　hung　her　head　in　confusion。

‘‘I've　been　at　the　business　ten　years；''　he　went　on；　‘‘and　you're　the　first　woman　I've　been　more　than　casually　interested　in。　　The　pretty　ones　were　bores。　　The　homely　onesI　can't　interest　myself　in　a　homely　woman；　no　matter　how　much　talent　she　has。　　A　woman　must　first　of　all　satisfy　the　eye。　　And　you''　　He　seated　himself　and　drew　her　toward　him。　　She；　cold　all　over　and　confused　in　mind　and　almost　stupefied；　resisted　with　all　her　strength；　but　her　strength　seemed　to　be　oozing　away。　　She　said：

‘‘You　must　not　do　this。　　You　must　not　do　this。　　I'm　horribly　disappointed　in　you。''

He　drew　her　to　his　lap　and　held　her　there　without　any　apparent　tax　upon　his　strength。　　He　kissed　her；　laughingly　pushing　away　the　arms　with　which　she　tried　to　shield　her　face。　　Suddenly　she　found　strength　to　wrench　herself　free　and　stood　at　a　distance　from　him。　She　was　panting　a　little；　was　pale；　was　looking　at　him　with　cold　anger。

‘‘You　will　please　leave　this　room；''　said　she。

He　lit　a　cigarette；　crossed　his　legs　comfortably；　and　looked　at　her　with　laughing　eyes。　　‘‘Don't　do　that；''　he　said　genially。　　‘‘Surely　my　lessons　in　acting　haven't　been　in　vain。　　That's　too　obviously　a　pose。''

She　went　to　the　mirror；　arranged　her　hat；　and　moved　toward　the　door。　　He　rose　and　barred　the　way。

‘‘You　are　as　sensible　as　you　are　sweet　and　lovely；''　said　he。　　‘‘Why　should　you　insist　on　our　being　bad　friends？''

‘‘If　you　don't　stand　aside；　I'll　call　out　to　the　watchman。''

‘‘I'd　never　have　thought　you　were　dishonest。　　In　fact；　I　don't　believe　it　yet。　　You　don't　look　like　one　of　those　ladies　who　wish　to　take　everything　and　give　nothing。''　　His　tone　and　manner　were　most　attractive。　Besides；　she　could　not　forget　all　he　had　done　for　herand　all　he　could　do　for　her。　　Said　she：

‘‘Mr。　Ransdell；　if　I've　done　anything　to　cause　you　to　misunderstand；　it　was　unconscious。　　And　I'm　sorry。　But　I''

‘‘Be　honest；''　interrupted　he。　　‘‘Haven't　I　made　it　plain　that　I　was　fascinated　by　you？''

She　could　not　deny　it。

‘‘Haven't　I　been　showing　you　that　I　was　willing　to　do　everything　I　could　for　you？''

‘‘I　thought　you　were　concerned　only　about　the　success　of　the　piece。''

‘‘The　piece　be　jiggered；''　said　he。　　‘‘You　don't　imagine　YOU　are　necessary　to　its　success；　do　you？　　You；　a　raw；　untrained　girl。　　Don't　your　good　sense　tell　you　I　could　find　a　dozen　who　would　do；　let　us　say；　ALMOST　as　well？''

‘‘I　understand　that；''　murmured　she。

‘‘Perhaps　you　do；　but　I　doubt　it；''　rejoined　he。　‘‘Vanity's　a　fast　growing　weed。　　However；　I　rather　expected　that　you　would　remain　sane　and　reasonably　humble　until　you'd　had　a　real　success。　　But　it　seems　not。　　Now　tell　me；　why　should　I　give　my　time　and　my　talent　to　training　youto　putting　you　in　the　way　of　quick　and　big　success？''

She　was　silent。

‘‘What　did　you　count　on　giving　me　in　return？　　Your　thanks？''

She　colored；　hung　her　head。

‘‘Wasn't　I　doing　for　you　something　worth　while？　And　what　had　you　to　give　in　return？''　　He　laughed　with　gentle　mockery。　　‘‘Really；　you　should　have　been　grateful　that　I　was　willing　to　do　so　much　for　so　little；　for　what　I　wanted　oughtif　you　are　a　sensible　woman　to　seem　to　you　a　trifle　in　comparison　with　what　I　was　doing　for　you。　　It　was　my　part；　not　yours；　to　think　the　complimentary　things　about　you。　　How　shallow　and　vain　you　women　are！　　Can't　you　see　that　the　value　of　your　charms　is　not　in　them；　but　in　the　imagination　of　some　man？''

‘‘I　can't　answer　you；''　said　she。　　‘‘You've　put　it　all　wrong。　　You　oughtn't　to　ask　payment　for　a　favor　beyond　price。''

‘‘No；　I　oughtn't　to　HAVE　to　ask；''　corrected　he；　in　the　same　pleasantly　ironic　way。　　‘‘You　ought　to　have　been　more　than　glad　to　give　freely。　　But；　curiously；　while　we've　been　talking；　I've　changed　my　mind　about　those　precious　jewels　of　yours。　　We'll　say　they're　pearls；　and　that　my　taste　has　suddenly　changed　to　diamonds。''　　He　bowed　mockingly。　　‘‘So；　dear　lady；　keep　your　pearls。''

And　he　stood　aside；　opening　the　door　for　her。　　She　hesitated；　dazed　that　she　was　leaving；　with　the　feeling　of　the　conquered；　a　field　on　which；　by　all　the　precedents；　she　ought　to　have　been　victor。　　She　passed　a　troubled　night；　debated　whether　to　relate　her　queer　experience　to　Mrs。　Belloc；　decided　for　silence。　　It　drafted　into　service　all　her　reserve　of　courage　to　walk　into　the　theater　the　next　day　and　to　appear　on　the　stage　among　the　assembled　company　with　her　usual　air。　　Ransdell　greeted　her　with　his　customary　friendly　courtesy　and　gave　her　his　attention；　as　always。　　By　the　time　they　had　got　through　the　first　act；　in　which　her　part　was　one　of　four　of　about　equal　importance；　she　had　recovered　herself　and　was　in　the　way　to　forget　the　strange　stage　director's　strange　attack　and　even　stranger　retreat。　　But　the　situation　changed　with　the　second　act；　in　which　she　was　on　the　stage　all　the　time　and　had　the　whole　burden。　　T