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第108章

the heir of redclyffe-第108章

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plans for attaining distinction; and seeing himself the greatest man of 

his day。  Little had he then guessed the misery which would place him 

in the way to the coveted elevation; or how he would loathe it when it 

lay within his grasp。



There were the trees round the vicarage; the church spire; the 

cottages; whose old rough aspect; he knew so well; the whole scene; 

once 'redolent of joy and youth:' but how unable to breathe on him a 

second spring!  He put up his horse at the village inn; and went to 

make his first call on Susan; the old clerk's wife; and one of the 

persons in all the world who loved him best。  He knocked; opened the 

door; and saw her; startled from her tea…drinking; looking at him as a 

stranger。



'Bless us!  It beant never Master Philip!' she exclaimed; her head 

shaking very fast; as she recognized his voice。  'Why; sir; what a turn 

you give me!  How bad you be looking; to be sure!'



He sat down and talked with her; with feelings of comfort。  Tidings of 

Sir Guy's death had reached the old woman; and she was much grieved for 

the nice; cheerful…spoken young gentleman; whom she well remembered; 

for she; like almost every one who had ever had any intercourse with 

him; had an impression left of him; as of something winning; engaging; 

brightening; like a sunbeam。  It was a refreshment to meet with one who 

would lament him for his own sake; and had no congratulations for 

Philip himself; and the 'Sure; sure; it must have been very bad for 

you;' with which old Susan heard of the circumstances; carried more of 

the comfort of genuine sympathy than all his sister's attempts at 

condolence。



She told him how often Sir Guy had been at Stylehurst; how he had 

talked to her about the archdeacon; and especially she remembered his 

helping her husband one day when he found him trimming the ash over the 

archdeacon's grave。  He used to come very often to church there; more 

in the latter part of his stay; there was one Sundayit was the one 

before Michaelmashe was there all day; walking in the churchyard; and 

sitting in the porch between services。



'The Sunday before Michaelmas!' thought Philip; the very time when he 

had been most earnest in driving his uncle to persecute; and delighting 

himself in having triumphed over Guy at last; and obtained tangible 

demonstration of his own foresight; and his cousin's vindictive spirit。  

What had he been throwing away?  Where had; in truth; been the hostile 

spirit?



He took the key of the church; and walked thither alone; standing for 

several minutes by the three graves; with a sensation as if his father 

was demanding of him an account of the boy he had watched; and brought 

to his ancestral home; and cared for through his orphaned childhood。  

But for the prayer…book; the pledge that there had been peace at the 

last; how could he have borne it?



Here was the paved path he had trodden in early childhood; holding his 

mother's hand; where; at each recurring vacation during his school 

days; he had walked between his admiring sisters; in the consciousness 

that he was the pride of his family and of all the parish。  Of his 

family?  Did he not remember his return home for the last time before 

that when he was summoned thither by his father's death?  He had come 

with a whole freight of prizes; and letters full of praises; and as he 

stood; in expectation of the expression of delighted satisfaction; his 

father laid his hand on his trophy; the pile of books; saying; 

gravely;' All this would I give; Philip; for one evidence of humility 

of mind。'



It had been his father's one reproof。  He had thought it unjust and 

unreasonable; and turned away impatiently to be caressed and admired by 

Margaret。  His real feelings had been told to her; because she 

flattered them and shared them; he had been reserved and guarded with 

the father who would have perceived and repressed that ambition and the 

self…sufficiency which he himself had never known to exist; nor 

regarded as aught but sober truth。  It had been his bane; that he had 

been always too sensible to betray outwardly his self…conceit; in any 

form that could lead to its being noticed。



He opened the church door; closed it behind him; and locked himself in。



He came up to the communion rail; where he had knelt for the first time 

twelve years ago; confident in himself; and unconscious of the fears 

with which his father's voice was trembling in the intensity of his 

prayer for one in whom there was no tangible evil; and whom others 

thought a pattern of all that could be desired by the fondest hopes。



He knelt down; with bowed head; and hands clasped。  Assuredly; if his 

father could have beheld him then; it would have been with rejoicing。  

He would not have sorrowed that robust frame was wasted; and great 

strength brought low; that the noble features were worn; the healthful 

cheek pale; and the powerful intellect clouded and weakened; he would 

hardly have mourned for the cruel grief and suffering; such would have 

been his joy that the humble; penitent; obedient heart had been won at 

last。  Above all; he would have rejoiced that the words that most 

soothed that wounded spirit were;'A broken and contrite heart; 0 God; 

Thou wilt not despise。'



There was solace in that solemn silence; the throbs of head and heart 

were stilled in the calm around。  It was as if the influences of the 

prayers breathed for him by his father; and the forgiveness and loving 

spirit there won by Guy; had been waiting for him there till he came to 

take them up; for thenceforth the bitterest of his despair was over; 

and he could receive each token of Amabel's forgiveness; not as heaped 

coals of fire; but as an earnest of forgiveness sealed in heaven。



The worst was over; and though he still had much to suffer; he was 

becoming open to receive comfort; the blank dark remorse in which he 

had been living began to lighten; and the tone of his mind to return。



He spoke more cheerfully to Susan when he restored the key; but she had 

been so shocked at his appearance; that when; the next day; a report 

reached her that Mr。 Philip was now a grand gentleman; and very rich; 

she answered;



'Well; if it be so; I am glad of it; but he said never a word of it to 

me; and it is my belief he would give all the money as ever was coined; 

to have the poor young gentleman back again。  Depend upon it; he hates 

the very sound of it。'



At the cost of several sheets of paper; Philip at length completed a 

letter to Mr。 Edmonstone; which; when he had sent it; made his suspense 

more painful。





       'St。 Mildred's; March 12th。



'MY DEAR MR。 Edmonstone;It is with a full sense of the unfitness of 

intruding such a subject upon you in the present state of the family; 

that I again address you on the same topic as that on which I wrote to 

you from Italy; at the first moment at which I have felt it possible to 

ask your attention。  I was then too ill to be able to express my 

contrition for all that has passed; in fact; I doubt whether it was 

even then so deep as at present; since every succeeding week has but 

added to my sense of the impropriety of my conduct; and my earnest 

desire for pardon。  I can hardly venture at such a time to ask anything 

further; but I must add that my sentiments towards your daughter are 

unaltered; and can never cease but with my life; and though I know I 

have rendered myself unworthy of her; and my health; both mental and 

bodily; is far from being re…established; I cannot help laying my 

feelings before you; and entreating that you will put an end to the 

suspense which has endured for so many months; by telling me to hope 

that I have not for ever forfeited your consent to my attachment。  At 

least; I trust to your kindness for telling me on what terms I am for 

the present to stand with your family。  I am glad to hear such 

favourable reports of Lady Morville; and with all my heart I thank 

Charles for his letter。



       'Yours ever affectionately;

                'P。 H。 MORVILLE。'





He ardently watched for a reply。  He could not endure the idea of 

receiving it where Margaret's eyes could scan the emotion he could now 

only conceal by a visible rigidity of demeanour; and he daily went 

himself to the post…office; but in vain。  He received nothing but 

business letters; and among them one from Markham; with as much 

defiance and dislike in its style as could be shown; in a perfectly 

formal; proper letter。  Till he had referred to Lady Morville; he would 

not make any demonstration towards Redclyffe; and evaded all his 

sister's questions as to what he was doing about it; and when he should 

take measures for leaving the army; or obtaining a renewal of the 

baronetcy。



Anxiety made him look daily more wretchedly haggard; the Doctor was at 

fault; Mrs。 Henley looked sagacious; while his manner became so dry and 

repellent that visitors went away moralizing on the absurdity of 

〃nouveaux riches〃 taking so much state on them。



He wondered how soon he might venture to write to Amabel; on whom alone 

he could depend; but he felt it a sort of profanity to disturb her。



He had nearly given up his visits to the post in despair; when one 

morning he beheld what never failed to bring some soothing influence; 

namely; the fair pointed characters he had not dared to hope for。  He 

walked quickly into the promenade; sat down; and read:





       'Hollywell; March 22nd。



'MY DEAR PHILIP;Papa does not answer your letter; because he says 

speaking is better than writing; and we hope you are well enough to 

come to us before Sunday week。  I hope to take our dear little girl to 

be christened on that day; and I want you to be so kind as to be her 

godfather。  I ask it of you; not only in my own name; but in her 

father's; for I am sure it is what he would choose。  Her Aunt Laura and 

Mary Ross are to be her godmothers; I hope you will not think me very 

foolish and fanciful for naming her Mary Verena; in remembrance of our 

old readings of Sintram。  She is a very healthy; quiet creature; and I 

am getting on very well。  I am writing from the dressing…room; and I 

expect to be down…stairs in a few days。  If you do not dislike it very 

much; could you be so kind as to call upon Miss Wellwood; and pay 

little Marianne Dixon's quarter for me?  It is £10; and it will save 

trouble if you would do it; besides that; I should like to hear of her 

and the little girl。  I am sorry to hear you are not better;perhaps 

coming here may do you good。Four o'clock。  I have been keeping my 

letter in hopes of persuading papa to put in a note; but he says he had 

rather send a message that he is quite ready to forgive and forget; and 

it will be best to talk it over when you come。〃



       'Your aff

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