the heir of redclyffe-第73章
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letter put off you had better give some hopes ofOh! he is gone; and
disinterested advice it is of mine; for what is to become of me without
Amy remains to be proved。 Laura; poor thing; looks like Patience on a
monument。 I wonder whether Philip's disgrace has anything to do with
it。 Hum! If mamma's old idea was right; the captain has been more
like moth and candle than consistent with his prudence; unless he
thought it 〃a toute epreuve〃。 I wonder what came to pass last autumn;
when I was ill; and mamma's head full of me。 He may not intend it; and
she may not know it; but I would by no means answer for Cupid's being
guiltless of that harassed look she has had ever since that ball…going
summer。 Oh! there go that pretty study; Amy and her true knight。 As
to Guy; he is more incomprehensible than ever; yet there is no avoiding
obeying him; on the principle on which that child in the 〃Moorland
cottage〃 said she should obey Don Quixote。'
So when his father came in; Charles wiled him into deferring the letter
till the next day; by giving him an indistinct hope that some notion
when the marriage would be; might be arrived at by that time。 He
consented the more readily; because he was in haste to investigate a
complaint that had just been made of the union doctor; but his last
words to his wife and son before he went; were'Of course; they must
marry directly; there is nothing on earth to wait for。 Live at
Redclyffe alone? Not to be thought of。 No; I'll see little Amy my
Lady Morville; before Philip goes abroad; if only to show him I am not
a man to be dictated to。'
Mrs。 Edmonstone sighed; but when he was gone; she agreed with Charles
that there was nothing to wait for; and that it would be better for Guy
to take his wife at once with him; when he settled at Redclyffe。 So it
must be whenever Amy could make up her mind to it; and thereupon they
made plans for future meetings; Charles announcing that the Prince of
the Black Isles would become locomotive; and Charlotte forming grand
designs upon Shag Island。
In the meantime; Guy and Amy were walking in the path through the wood;
where he began: 'I would not have asked you to do anything so
unpleasant as reading that letter; but I thought you ought to consider
of it。'
'It was just like himself! How could he?' said Amy; indignantly。
'I wonder whether he will ever see his own harshness?' said Guy。 'It
is very strange; that with all his excellence and real kindness; there
should be some distortion in his view of all that concerns me。 I
cannot understand it。'
'You must let me call it prejudice; Guy; in spite of your protest。 It
is a relief to say something against him。'
'Amy; don't be venomous!' said Guy; in a playful tone of reproach。
'Yes; but you know it is not _me_ whom he has been abusing。'
'Well;' said Guy; musingly; 'I suppose it is right there should be this
cloud; or it would be too bright for earth。 It has been one of my
chief wishes to have things straight with Philip; ever since the time
he stayed at Redclyffe as a boy。 I saw his superiority then; but it
fretted me; and I never could make a companion of him。 Ever since; I
have looked to his approval as one of the best things to be won。 It
shows his ascendancy of character; yet; do what I will; the mist has
gone on thickening between us; and with reason; for I have never been
able to give him the confidence he required; and his conduct about my
uncle has so tried my patience; that I never have been quite sure
whether I ought to avoid him or not。'
'And now you are the only person who will speak for him。 I don't
wonder papa is provoked with you;' said she; pretending to be wilful。
'I only hope you don't want to make me do the same。 I could bear
anything better than his old saying about your attractive manners and
good impulses; and his opinion that has never altered。 0 Guy; he is
the most provoking person in all the world。 Don't try to make me
admire him; nor be sorry for him。'
'Not when you remember how he was looked on here? and how; without
doing anything worthy of blame; nay; from his acting unsparingly; as he
thought right; every one has turned against him? even mamma; who used
to be so fond of him?'
'Not Laura。'
'No; not Laura; and I am thankful to her for it; for all this makes me
feel as if I had supplanted him。'
'Yes; yes; yes; it is like you; but don't ask me to feel that yet;'
said Amy; with tears in her eyes;' or I shall be obliged to tell you
what you won't like to hear; about his tone of triumph that terrible
time last year。 It was so very different; I don't think I could ever
forgive him; if it had not made me so miserable too。'
Guy pressed her arm。 'Yes; but he thought himself right。 He meant to
do the kindest thing by you;' said he; so entirely without effort; that
no one could doubt it came straight from his heart。 'So he thinks
still; Amy; there is fairness; justice; good sense in his letter; and
we must not blind our eyes to it; though there is injustice; at least;
harshness。 I did fail egregiously in my first trial。'
'Fail!'
'In temper。'
'Oh!'
'And; Amy; I wanted to ask what you think about the four years he
speaks of。 Do you think; as he says; my habits might be more fixed;
and altogether you might have more confidence?'
'I don't look on you quite as he does now;' said Amy; with a very
pretty smile。 'Do you think his opinion of you will ever alter?'
'But what do you think? Is there not some reason in what he says?'
'The only use I can see is; that perhaps I should be wiser at twenty…
four; and fitter to take care of such a great house; but then you have
been always helping me to grow wiser; and I am not much afraid but that
you will be patient with me。 Indeed; Guy; I don't know whether it is a
thing I ought to say;' she added; blushing; 'but I think it would be
dismal for you to go and live all alone at Redclyffe。'
'Honestly; Amy;' replied he; after a little pause; 'if you feel so; and
your father approves; I don't think it will be better to wait。 I know
your presence is a safeguard; and if the right motives did not suffice
to keep me straight; and I was only apparently so from hopes of you;
why then I should be so utterly good for nothing at the bottom; if not
on the surface; that you had better have nothing to say to me。'
Amy laughed incredulously。
'That being settled;' proceeded Guy; 'did you hear what your father
said as you left the breakfast…room?'
She coloured all over; and there was silence。 'What did you answer?'
said she; at length。
'I said; whatever happened; you must not be taken by surprise in having
to decide quickly。 Do you wish to have time to think? I'll go in and
leave you to consider; if you like。'
'I only want to know what you wish;' said Amy; not parting with his
arm。
'I had rather you did just as suits you best。 Of course; you know what
my wish must be。'
Amy walked on a little way in silence。 'Very well;' said she;
presently; 'I think you and mamma had better settle it。 The worst'
she had tears in her eyes'the going awaymammaCharlieall that
will be as bad at one time as at another。' The tears flowed faster。
'It had better be as you all like best。'
'0 Amy! I wonder at myself for daring to ask you to exchange your
bright cheerful home for my gloomy old house。'
'No; your home;' said Amy; softly。
'I used to wonder why it was called gloomy; but it will be so no more
when you are there。 Yet there is a shadow hanging over it; which makes
it sometimes seem too strange that you and it should be brought
together。'
'I have read somewhere that there is no real gloom but what people
raise for themselves。'
'True。 Gloom is in sin; not sorrow。 Yes; there would be no comfort if
I were not sure that if aught of grief or pain should come to you
through me; it will not; cannot really hurt you; my Amy。'
'No; unless by my own fault; and you will help me to meet it。 Hark!
was that a nightingale?'
'Yes; the first! How beautiful! Theredon't you see it? Look on
that hazel; you may see its throat moving。 Well!' when they had
listened for a long time;'after all; that creature and the sea will
hardly let one speak of gloom; even in this world; to say nothing of
other things。
'The sea! I am glad I have never seen it; because now you will show it
to me for the first time。'
'You will never; can never imagine it; Amy! and he sung;
'With all tones of waters blending;
Glorious is the breaking deep;
Glorious; beauteous; without ending;
Songs of ocean never sleep。'
A silence followed; only broken by the notes of the birds; and
presently by the strokes of the great clock。 Guy looked at his watch。
'Eleven; Amy! I must go to my reading; or you will have to be very
much ashamed of me。'
For; after the first few days; Guy had returned to study regularly
every day。 He said it was a matter of necessity; not at all of merit;
for though he did not mean to try for honours; Amy must not marry a
plucked man。 His whole career at Oxford had been such a struggle with
the disadvantages of his education; that all his diligence had; he
thought; hardly raised him to a level with his contemporaries。
Moreover; courtship was not the best preparation for the schools; so
that though he knew he had done his best; he expected no more than to
pass respectably; and told Amy it was very good of her to be contented
with a dunce; whereat she laughed merrily。 But she knew him too well
to try to keep him lingering in the April sunshine; and in they went;
Guy to his Greek; and Amy to her mother。 Charlotte's lessons had been
in abeyance; or turned over to Laura of late; and Mrs。 Edmonstone and
her dressing…room were always ready for the confidences of the family;
who sought her there in turnall but one; and that the one whose need
was the sorest。
Amy and her mother comforted themselves with a good quiet cry; that was
not exactly sorrowful; and came to the conclusion that Guy was the most
considerate person in the world; and they would do whatever best suited
him and papa。 So; when Mr。 Edmonstone came home; he was rewarded for
putting off the letter by finding every one willing to let the marriage
take place whenever he pleased。 There were various conferences in the
dressing…room; and Guy and Amy both had burning faces when they came
down to dinner。 Laura beheld them with a throbbing heart; while she
mechanically talked to Dr。 Mayerne; as if nothing was going on。 She
was glad there was no singing that evening; for she felt incapable of
joining; and when at night Charl