the heir of redclyffe-第87章

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anything　decisive。'



Amy　submitted；　and　slowly　put　herself　to　bed；　because　she　thought　Guy　

would　not　like　to　find　her　up；　but　she　had　little　sleep；　and　that　was　

dreamy；　full　of　the　same　anxieties　as　her　waking　moments；　and　perhaps　

making　the　night　seem　longer　than　if　she　had　been　awake　the　whole　time。



At　last　she　started　from　a　somewhat　sounder　doze　than　usual；　and　saw　it　

was　becoming　light；　the　white　summits　of　the　mountains　were　beginning　

to　show　themselves；　and　there　was　twilight　in　the　room。　　Just　then　she　

heard　a　light；　cautious　tread　in　the　passage；　the　lock　of　Guy's　

dressing…room　was　gently；　slowly　turned。　　It　was　over　then！　　Life　or　

death？　　Her　heart　beat　as　she　heard　her　husband's　step　in　the　next　

room；　and　her　suspense　would　let　her　call　out　nothing　but'I　am　not　

asleep！'



Guy　came　forward；　and　stood　still；　while　she　looked　up　to　the　outline　

of　his　figure　against　the　window。　　With　a　kind　of　effort　he　said；　with　

forced　calmness'He'll　do　now！　and　came　to　the　bedside。　　His　face　was　

wet　with　tears；　and　her　eyes　were　over…flowing。　　After　a　few　moments　he　

murmured　a　few　low　words　of　deep　thanksgivings；　and　again　there　was　a　

silence。



'He　is　asleep　quietly　and　comfortably；'　said　Guy；　presently；　'and　his　

pulse　is　steadier。　　The　faintness　and　sinking　have　been　dreadful；　the　

doctor　has　been　sitting　with　his　hand　on　his　pulse；　telling　me　when　to　

put　the　cordial　into　his　mouth。　　Twice　I　thought　him　all　but　gone；　and　

till　within　the　last　hour；　I　did　not　think　he　could　have　revived；　but　

now；　the　doctor　says　we　may　almost　consider　the　danger　as　over。'



'Oh；　how　glad　I　am！　　Was　he　sensible？　　Could　he　speak？'



'Sensible　at　least　when　not　fainting；　but　too　weak　to　speak；　or　often；　

to　look　up。　　When　he　did　though；　it　was　very　kindly；　very　pleasantly。　　

And　now！　This　is　joy　coming　in　the　morning；　Amy！'



'I　wonder　if　you　are　happier　now　than　after　the　shipwreck；'　said　Amy；　

after　a　silence。



'How　can　you　ask？　　The　shipwreck　was　a　gleam；　the　first　ray　that　came　

to　cheer　me　in　those　penance　hours；　when　I　was　cut　off　from　all；　and　

now；　oh；　Amy！　I　cannot　enter　into　it。　　Such　richness　and　fullness　of　

blessing　showered　on　me；　more　than　I　ever　dared　to　wish　for　or　dream　

of；　both　in　the　present　and　future　hopes。　　It　seems　more　than　can　

belong　to　man；　at　least　to　me；　so　unlike　what　I　have　deserved；　that　I　

can　hardly　believe　it。　　It　must　be　sent　as　a　great　trial。'



Amabel　thought　this　so　beautiful；　that　she　could　not　answer；　and　he　

presently　gave　her　some　further　particulars。　　He　went　back　in　spite　of　

her　entreaties　that　he　would　afford　himself　a　little　rest；　saying　that　

the　doctor　was　obliged　to　go　away；　and　Philip　still　needed　the　most　

careful　watching。　　Amy　could　not　sleep　any　more；　but　lay　musing　over　

that　ever…brightening　goodness　which　had　lately　at　all　times　almost　

startled　her　from　its　very　unearthliness。











CHAPTER　32







Sure　all　things　wear　a　heavenly　dress；

Which　sanctifies　their　loveliness；

Types　of　that　endless　resting　day；

When　we　shall　be　as　changed　as　they。HYMN　FOR　SUNDAY





From　that　time　there　was　little　more　cause　for　anxiety。　　Philip　was；　

indeed；　exceedingly　reduced；　unable　to　turn　in　bed；　to　lift　his　head；　

or　to　speak　except　now　and　then　a　feeble　whisper；　but　the　fever　was　

entirely　gone；　and　his　excellent　constitution　began　rapidly　to　repair　

its　ravages。　　Day　by　day；　almost　hour　by　hour；　he　was　rallying；　

spending　most　of　his　time　profitably　in　sleep；　and　looking　very　

contented　in　his　short　intervals　of　waking。　　These　became　each　day　

rather　longer；　his　voice　became　stronger；　and　he　made　more　remarks　and　

inquiries。　　His　first　care；　when　able　to　take　heed　of　what　did　not　

concern　his　immediate　comfort；　was　that　Colonel　Deane　should　be　written　

to；　as　his　leave　of　absence　was　expired；　but　he　said　not　a　word　about　

Hollywell；　and　Amabel　therefore　hoped　her　surmise　was　right；　that　his　

confession　had　been　prompted　by　a　delirious　fancy；　though　Guy　thought　

something　was　implied　by　his　silence　respecting　the　very　persons　of　

whom　it　would　have　been　natural　to　have　talked。



He　was　very　patient　of　his　weakness　and　dependence；　always　thankful　and　

willing　to　be　pleased；　and　all　that　had　been　unpleasant　in　his　manner　

to　Guy　was　entirely　gone。　　He　liked　to　be　waited　on　by　him；　and　

received　his　attentions　without　laborious　gratitude；　just　in　the　way　

partly　affectionate；　partly　matter　of　course；　that　was　most　agreeable；　

showing　himself　considerate　of　his　fatigue；　though　without　any　of　his　

old　domineering　advice。



One　evening　Guy　was　writing；　when　Philip；　who　had　been　lying　still；　as　

if　asleep；　asked；　'Are　you　writing　to　Hollywell？'



'Yes；　to　Charlotte；　but　there　is　no　hurry；　it　won't　go　till　tomorrow。　　

Have　you　any　message？



'No；　thank　you。'



Guy　fancied　he　sighed；　and　there　was　a　long　silence；　at　the　end　of　

which　he　asked；　'Guy；　have　I　said　anything　about　Laura？'



'Yes；'　said　Guy；　putting　down　the　pen。



'I　thought　so；　but　I　could　not　remember；'　said　Philip；　turning　round；　

and　settling　himself　for　conversation；　with　much　of　his　ordinary　

deliberate　preparation；　'I　hope　it　was　not　when　I　had　no　command　of　

myself？'



'No；　you　were　seldom　intelligible；　you　were　generally　trying　to　speak　

Italian；　or　else　talking　about　Stylehurst。　　The　only　time　you　mentioned　

her　was　the　night　before　the　worst。'



'I　recollect；'　said　Philip。　　'I　will　not　draw　back　from　the　resolution　

I　then　made；　though　I　did　not　know　whether　I　had　spoken　it；　let　the　

consequences　be　what　they　may。　　The　worst　is；　that　they　will　fall　the　

most　severely　on　her：　and　her　implicit　reliance　on　me　was　her　only　

error。'



His　voice　was　very　low；　and　so　full　of　painful　feeling　that　Guy　doubted　

whether　to　let　him　enter　on　such　a　subject　at　present；　but　remembering　

the　relief　of　free　confession；　he　thought　it　best　to　allow　him　to　

proceed；　only　now　and　then　putting　in　some　note　of　sympathy　or　of　

interrogation；　in　word　or　gesture。



'I　must　explain；'　said　Philip；　'that　you　may　see　how　little　blame　can　

be　imputed　to　her。　　It　was　that　summer；　three　years　ago；　the　first　

after　you　came。　　I　had　always　been　her　chief　friend。　　I　saw；　or　thought　

I　saw；　cause　for　putting　her　on　her　guard。　　The　result　has　shown　that　

the　danger　was　imaginary；　but　no　matterI　thought　it　real。　　In　the　

course　of　the　conversation；　more　of　my　true　sentiments　were　avowed　than　

I　was　aware　of；　she　was　very　young；　and　before　we；　either　of　us；　knew　

what　we　were　doing；　it　had　been　equivalent　to　a　declaration。　　Well！　　I　

do　not　speak　to　excuse　the　concealment；　but　to　show　you　my　motive。　　If　

it　had　been　known；　there　would　have　been　great　displeasure　and　

disturbance；　I　should　have　been　banished；　and　though　time　might　have　

softened　matters；　we　should　both　have　had　a　great　deal　to　go　through。　　

Heaven　knows　what　it　may　be　now！　　And；　Guy；'　he　added；　breaking　off　

with　trembling　eagerness；　'when　did　you　hear　from　Hollywell？　　Do　you　

know　how　she　has　borne　the　news　of　my　illness？'



'We　have　heard　since　they　knew　of　it；'　said　Guy；　'the　letter　was　from　

Mrs。　Edmonstone　to　Amy；　but　she　did　not　mention　Laura。'



'She　has　great　strength；　she　would　endure　anything　rather　than　give　

way；　but　how　can　she　have　borne　the　anxiety　and　silence？　　You　are　sure　

my　aunt　does　not　mention　her？'



'Certain。　　I　will　ask　Amy　for　the　letter；　if　you　like。'



'No；　do　not　go；　I　must　finish；　since　I　have　begun。　　We　did　not　speak　of　

an　engagement；　it　was　little　more　than　an　avowal　of　preference；　I　doubt　

whether　she　understood　what　it　amounted　to；　and　I　desired　her　to　be　

silent。　　I　deceived　myself　all　along；　by　declaring　she　was　free；　and　I　

had　never　asked　for　her　promise；　but　those　things　will　not　do　when　we　

see　death　face　to　face；　and　a　resolve　made　at　such　a　moment　must　be　

kept；　let　it　bring　what　it　may。'



'True。'



'She　will　be　relieved；　she　wished　it　to　be　known；　but　I　thought　it　best　

to　wait　for　my　promotionthe　only　chance　of　our　being　able　to　marry。　　

However；　it　shall　be　put　into　her　father's　hands　as　soon　as　I　can　hold　

a　pen。　　All　I　wish　is；　that　she　should　not　have　to　bear　the　brunt　of　

his　anger。'



'He　is　too　kind　and　good…natured　to　keep　his　displeasure　long。'



'If　it　would　only　light　on　the　right　head；　instead　of　on　the　head　of　

the　nearest。　　You　say　she　was　harassed　and　out　of　spirits。　　I　wish　you　

were　at　home；　Amy　would　comfort　her　and　soften　them。'



'We　hope　to　go　back　as　soon　as　you　are　in　travelling　condition。　　If　you　

will　come　home　with　us；　you　will　be　at　hand　when　Mr。　Edmonstone　is　

ready　to　forgive；　as　I　am　sure　he　soon　will　be。　　No　one　ever　was　so　

glad　to　forget　his　displeasure。'



'Yes；　it　will　be　over　by　the　time　I　meet　him；　for　she　will　have　borne　

it　all。　　There　is　the　worst！　　But　I　will　not　put　off　the　writing；　as　

soon　as　I　have　the　power。　　Every　day　the　concealment　continues　is　a　

further　offence。'



'And　present　suffering　is　an　especial　earnest　and　hope　of　forgiveness；'　

said　Guy。　　'I　have　no　doubt　that　much　may　be　done　to　make　Mr。　

Edmonstone　think　well　of　it。'



'If　any　suffering　of　mine　would　spare　hers！'　sighed　Philip。　　'You　

cannot　estimate　the　difficulties　in　our　way。　　You　know　nothing　of　

poverty；the　bar　it　is　to　everything；　almost　a　positive　offence　in　

itself　！'



'This　is　only　tiring　yourself　with　talking；'　said　Guy；　perceiving　how　

Philip's　bodily　weakness　was　making　him　fall　into　a　desponding　strain。　　

'You　must　make　haste　to　get　well；　and　come　home　with　us；　and　I　think　we　

shall　find　it　no　such　bad　case　after　all。　　There's　Amy's　fortune　to　

begin　with；　only　waiting　for　such　an　occasion。　　No；　I　can't　have　you　

answer；　you　have　talked；　quite　long　enough。'



Philip　was　in　a　state　of　feebleness　that　made　him　willing　to　avoid　the　

trouble　of　thinking；　by　simply　believing　what　he　was　told；　'that　it　was　

no　bad　case。'　　He　was　relieved　by　having　confessed；　though　to　the　

person　whom；　a　few　weeks　back；　he　would　have　thought　the　last　to　whom　

he　could　have　made　such　a　communication；　over　whom　he　had　striven　to　

assume　superiority；　and　therefore　before　whom　he　could　have　least　borne　

to　humble　himselfnay；　whose　own　love　he　had　lately　traversed　with　an　

arrogance　that　was　rendered　positively　absurd　by　this　conduct　of　his　

own。　　Nevertheless；　he　had　not　shrunk　from　the　confession。　　His　had　

been　real　repentance；　so　far　as　he　perceived　his　faults；　and　he　would　

have　scorned　to　avail　himself　of　the　certainty　of　Guy's　silence　on　what　

he　had　said　at　the　time　of　his　extreme　danger。　　He　had　resolved　to　

speak；　and　had　found　neither　an　accuser　nor　a　judge；　not　even　one　

consciously　returning　good　for　evil；　but　a　friend　with　honest；　simple；　

straightforward　kindness；　doing　the　best　for　him　in　his　power；　and　

dreading　nothing　so　much　as　hurting　his　feelings。　　It　wa