don quixote(堂·吉珂德)-第160章

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connected　by　blood；　but　my　untoward　fate　and　the　improvidence　of　my
parents；　who；　I　know　not　how；　were　unseasonably　reduced　to　poverty；
brought　me　to　the　court　of　Madrid；　where　as　a　provision　and　to　avoid
greater　misfortunes；　my　parents　placed　me　as　seamstress　in　the　service
of　a　lady　of　quality；　and　I　would　have　you　know　that　for　hemming　and
sewing　I　have　never　been　surpassed　by　any　all　my　life。　My　parents　left
me　in　service　and　returned　to　their　own　country；　and　a　few　years　later
went；　no　doubt；　to　heaven；　for　they　were　excellent　good　Catholic
Christians。　I　was　left　an　orphan　with　nothing　but　the　miserable
wages　and　trifling　presents　that　are　given　to　servants　of　my　sort　in
palaces；　but　about　this　time；　without　any　encouragement　on　my　part；
one　of　the　esquires　of　the　household　fell　in　love　with　me；　a　man
somewhat　advanced　in　years；　full…bearded　and　personable；　and　above　all
as　good　a　gentleman　as　the　king　himself；　for　he　came　of　a　mountain
stock。　We　did　not　carry　on　our　loves　with　such　secrecy　but　that　they
came　to　the　knowledge　of　my　lady；　and　she；　not　to　have　any　fuss
about　it；　had　us　married　with　the　full　sanction　of　the　holy　mother
Roman　Catholic　Church；　of　which　marriage　a　daughter　was　born　to　put　an
end　to　my　good　fortune；　if　I　had　any；　not　that　I　died　in　childbirth；
for　I　passed　through　it　safely　and　in　due　season；　but　because
shortly　afterwards　my　husband　died　of　a　certain　shock　he　received；　and
had　I　time　to　tell　you　of　it　I　know　your　worship　would　be
surprised；〃　and　here　she　began　to　weep　bitterly　and　said；　〃Pardon
me；　Senor　Don　Quixote；　if　I　am　unable　to　control　myself；　for　every
time　I　think　of　my　unfortunate　husband　my　eyes　fill　up　with　tears。　God
bless　me；　with　what　an　air　of　dignity　he　used　to　carry　my　lady
behind　him　on　a　stout　mule　as　black　as　jet！　for　in　those　days　they　did
not　use　coaches　or　chairs；　as　they　say　they　do　now；　and　ladies　rode
behind　their　squires。　This　much　at　least　I　cannot　help　telling　you；
that　you　may　observe　the　good　breeding　and　punctiliousness　of　my
worthy　husband。　As　he　was　turning　into　the　Calle　de　Santiago　in
Madrid；　which　is　rather　narrow；　one　of　the　alcaldes　of　the　Court；　with
two　alguacils　before　him；　was　coming　out　of　it；　and　as　soon　as　my　good
squire　saw　him　he　wheeled　his　mule　about　and　made　as　if　he　would
turn　and　accompany　him。　My　lady；　who　was　riding　behind　him；　said　to
him　in　a　low　voice；　'What　are　you　about；　you　sneak；　don't　you　see　that
I　am　here？'　The　alcalde　like　a　polite　man　pulled　up　his　horse　and　said
to　him；　'Proceed；　senor；　for　it　is　I；　rather；　who　ought　to　accompany
my　lady　Dona　Casilda'…　for　that　was　my　mistress's　name。　Still　my
husband；　cap　in　hand；　persisted　in　trying　to　accompany　the　alcalde；
and　seeing　this　my　lady；　filled　with　rage　and　vexation；　pulled　out　a
big　pin；　or；　I　rather　think；　a　bodkin；　out　of　her　needle…case　and
drove　it　into　his　back　with　such　force　that　my　husband　gave　a　loud
yell；　and　writhing　fell　to　the　ground　with　his　lady。　Her　two
lacqueys　ran　to　rise　her　up；　and　the　alcalde　and　the　alguacils　did　the
same；　the　Guadalajara　gate　was　all　in　commotion　…I　mean　the　idlers
congregated　there；　my　mistress　came　back　on　foot；　and　my　husband
hurried　away　to　a　barber's　shop　protesting　that　he　was　run　right
through　the　guts。　The　courtesy　of　my　husband　was　noised　abroad　to　such
an　extent；　that　the　boys　gave　him　no　peace　in　the　street；　and　on
this　account；　and　because　he　was　somewhat　shortsighted；　my　lady
dismissed　him；　and　it　was　chagrin　at　this　I　am　convinced　beyond　a
doubt　that　brought　on　his　death。　I　was　left　a　helpless　widow；　with　a
daughter　on　my　hands　growing　up　in　beauty　like　the　sea…foam；　at
length；　however；　as　I　had　the　character　of　being　an　excellent
needlewoman；　my　lady　the　duchess；　then　lately　married　to　my　lord　the
duke；　offered　to　take　me　with　her　to　this　kingdom　of　Aragon；　and　my
daughter　also；　and　here　as　time　went　by　my　daughter　grew　up　and　with
her　all　the　graces　in　the　world；　she　sings　like　a　lark；　dances　quick
as　thought；　foots　it　like　a　gipsy；　reads　and　writes　like　a
schoolmaster；　and　does　sums　like　a　miser；　of　her　neatness　I　say
nothing；　for　the　running　water　is　not　purer；　and　her　age　is　now；　if　my
memory　serves　me；　sixteen　years　five　months　and　three　days；　one　more
or　less。　To　come　to　the　point；　the　son　of　a　very　rich　farmer；　living
in　a　village　of　my　lord　the　duke's　not　very　far　from　here；　fell　in
love　with　this　girl　of　mine；　and　in　short；　how　I　know　not；　they　came
together；　and　under　the　promise　of　marrying　her　he　made　a　fool　of　my
daughter；　and　will　not　keep　his　word。　And　though　my　lord　the　duke　is
aware　of　it　（for　I　have　complained　to　him；　not　once　but　many　and
many　a　time；　and　entreated　him　to　order　the　farmer　to　marry　my
daughter）；　he　turns　a　deaf　ear　and　will　scarcely　listen　to　me；　the
reason　being　that　as　the　deceiver's　father　is　so　rich；　and　lends　him
money；　and　is　constantly　going　security　for　his　debts；　he　does　not
like　to　offend　or　annoy　him　in　any　way。　Now；　senor；　I　want　your
worship　to　take　it　upon　yourself　to　redress　this　wrong　either　by
entreaty　or　by　arms；　for　by　what　all　the　world　says　you　came　into　it
to　redress　grievances　and　right　wrongs　and　help　the　unfortunate。　Let
your　worship　put　before　you　the　unprotected　condition　of　my
daughter；　her　youth；　and　all　the　perfections　I　have　said　she
possesses；　and　before　God　and　on　my　conscience；　out　of　all　the　damsels
my　lady　has；　there　is　not　one　that　comes　up　to　the　sole　of　her　shoe；
and　the　one　they　call　Altisidora；　and　look　upon　as　the　boldest　and
gayest　of　them；　put　in　comparison　with　my　daughter；　does　not　come
within　two　leagues　of　her。　For　I　would　have　you　know；　senor；　all　is
not　gold　that　glitters；　and　that　same　little　Altisidora　has　more
forwardness　than　good　looks；　and　more　impudence　than　modesty；
besides　being　not　very　sound；　for　she　has　such　a　disagreeable　breath
that　one　cannot　bear　to　be　near　her　for　a　moment；　and　even　my　lady　the
duchess…　but　I'll　hold　my　tongue；　for　they　say　that　walls　have　ears。〃
　　〃For　heaven's　sake；　Dona　Rodriguez；　what　ails　my　lady　the
duchess？〃　asked　Don　Quixote。
　　〃Adjured　in　that　way；〃　replied　the　duenna；　〃I　cannot　help
answering　the　question　and　telling　the　whole　truth。　Senor　Don　Quixote；
have　you　observed　the　comeliness　of　my　lady　the　duchess；　that　smooth
complexion　of　hers　like　a　burnished　polished　sword；　those　two　cheeks
of　milk　and　carmine；　that　gay　lively　step　with　which　she　treads　or
rather　seems　to　spurn　the　earth；　so　that　one　would　fancy　she　went
radiating　health　wherever　she　passed？　Well　then；　let　me　tell　you　she
may　thank；　first　of　all　God；　for　this；　and　next；　two　issues　that　she
has；　one　in　each　leg；　by　which　all　the　evil　humours；　of　which　the
doctors　say　she　is　full；　are　discharged。〃
　　〃Blessed　Virgin！〃　exclaimed　Don　Quixote；　〃and　is　it　possible　that　my
lady　the　duchess　has　drains　of　that　sort？　I　would　not　have　believed　it
if　the　barefoot　friars　had　told　it　me；　but　as　the　lady　Dona
Rodriguez　says　so；　it　must　be　so。　But　surely　such　issues；　and　in
such　places；　do　not　discharge　humours；　but　liquid　amber。　Verily；　I
do　believe　now　that　this　practice　of　opening　issues　is　a　very
important　matter　for　the　health。〃
　　Don　Quixote　had　hardly　said　this；　when　the　chamber　door　flew　open
with　a　loud　bang；　and　with　the　start　the　noise　gave　her　Dona　Rodriguez
let　the　candle　fall　from　her　hand；　and　the　room　was　left　as　dark　as
a　wolf's　mouth；　as　the　saying　is。　Suddenly　the　poor　duenna　felt　two
hands　seize　her　by　the　throat；　so　tightly　that　she　could　not　croak；
while　some　one　else；　without　uttering　a　word；　very　briskly　hoisted
up　her　petticoats；　and　with　what　seemed　to　be　a　slipper　began　to　lay
on　so　heartily　that　anyone　would　have　felt　pity　for　her；　but
although　Don　Quixote　felt　it　he　never　stirred　from　his　bed；　but　lay
quiet　and　silent；　nay　apprehensive　that　his　turn　for　a　drubbing
might　be　coming。　Nor　was　the　apprehension　an　idle　one；　one；　for
leaving　the　duenna　（who　did　not　dare　to　cry　out）　well　basted；　the
silent　executioners　fell　upon　Don　Quixote；　and　stripping　him　of　the
sheet　and　the　coverlet；　they　pinched　him　so　fast　and　so　hard　that　he
was　driven　to　defend　himself　with　his　fists；　and　all　this　in
marvellous　silence。　The　battle　lasted　nearly　half　an　hour；　and　then
the　phantoms　fled；　Dona　Rodriguez　gathered　up　her　skirts；　and
bemoaning　her　fate　went　out　without　saying　a　word　to　Don　Quixote；
and　he；　sorely　pinched；　puzzled；　and　dejected；　remained　alone；　and
there　we　will　leave　him；　wondering　who　could　have　been　the　perverse
enchanter　who　had　reduced　him　to　such　a　state；　but　that　shall　be
told　in　due　season；　for　Sancho　claims　our　attention；　and　the
methodical　arrangement　of　the　story　demands　it。


　　CHAPTER　XLIX
　　OF　WHAT　HAPPENED　SANCHO　IN　MAKING　THE　ROUND　OF　HIS　ISLAND

　　WE　left　the　great　governor　angered　and　irritated　by　that
portrait…painting　rogue　of　a　farmer　who；　instructed　the　majordomo；
as　the　majordomo　was　by　the　duke；　tried　to　practise　upon　him；　he
however；　fool；　boor；　and　clown　as　he　was；　held　his　own　against　them
all；　saying　to　those　round　him　and　to　Doctor　Pedro　Recio；　who　as
soon　as　the　private　business　of　the　duke's　letter　was　disposed　of
had　returned　to　the　room；　〃Now　I　see　plainly　enough　that　judges　and
governors　ought　to　be　and　must　be　made　of　brass　not　to　feel　the
importunities　of　the　applicants　that　at　all　times　and　all　seasons
insist　on　being　heard；　and　having　their　business　despatched；　and　their
own　affairs　and　no　others　attended　to；　come　what　may；　and　if　the
poor　judge　does　not　hear　them　and　settle　the　matter…　either　because　he
cannot　or　because　that　is　not　the　time　set　apart　for　hearing　them…
forthwith　they　abuse　him；　and　run　him　down；　and　gnaw　at　his　bones；　and
even　pick　holes　in　his　pedigree。　You　silly；　stupid　applicant；　don't　be
in　a　hurry；　wait　for　the　proper　time　and　season　for　doing　business；
don't　come　at　dinner…hour；　or　at　bed…time；　for　judges　are　only　flesh
and　blood；　and　must　give　to　Nature　what　she　naturally　demands　of　them；
all　except　myself；　for　in　my　case　I　give　her　nothing　to　eat；　thanks　to
Senor　Doctor　Pedro　Recio　Tirteafuera　here；　who　would　have　me　die　of
hunger；　and　declares　that　death　to　be　life；　and　the　same　sort　of
life　may　God　give　him　and　all　his　kind…　I　mean　the　bad　doctors；　for
the　good　ones　deserve　palms　and　laurels。〃
　　All　who　knew　Sancho　Panza　were　astonished　to　hear　him　speak　so
elegantly；　and　did　not　know　what　to　attribute　it　to　unless　it　were
that　office　and　grave　responsibility　either　smarten　or　stupefy　men's
wits。　At　last　Doctor　Pedro　Recio　Agilers　of　Tirteafuera　promised　to
let　him　have　supper　that　night　though　it　might　be　in　contravention
of　all　the　aphorisms　of　Hippocrates。　With　this　the　governor　was
satisfied　and　looked　forward　to　the　approach　of　night　and
supper…time　with　great　anxiety；　and　though　time；　to　his　mind；　stood
still　and　made　no　progress；　nevertheless　the　hour　he　so　longed　for
came；　and　they　gave　him　a　beef　salad　with　onions　and　some　boiled
calves'　feet　rather　far　gone。　At　this　he　fell　to　with　greater　relish
than　if　they　had　given　him　francolins　from　Milan；　pheasants　from　Rome；
veal　from　Sorrento；　partridges　from　Moron；　or　geese　from　Lavajos；
and　turning　to　the　doctor　at　supper　he　said　to　him；　〃Look　here；
senor　do