don quixote(堂·吉珂德)-第56章

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and　with　no　better　success　than　if　I　were　endeavouring　deliberately　to
publish　it　to　all　the　world；　and　as；　in　short；　it　must　come　out；　I
would　confide　it　to　thy　safe　keeping；　feeling　sure　that　by　this　means；
and　by　thy　readiness　as　a　true　friend　to　afford　me　relief；　I　shall
soon　find　myself　freed　from　the　distress　it　causes　me；　and　that　thy
care　will　give　me　happiness　in　the　same　degree　as　my　own　folly　has
caused　me　misery。〃
　　The　words　of　Anselmo　struck　Lothario　with　astonishment；　unable　as　he
was　to　conjecture　the　purport　of　such　a　lengthy　preamble；　and　though
be　strove　to　imagine　what　desire　it　could　be　that　so　troubled　his
friend；　his　conjectures　were　all　far　from　the　truth；　and　to　relieve
the　anxiety　which　this　perplexity　was　causing　him；　he　told　him　he
was　doing　a　flagrant　injustice　to　their　great　friendship　in　seeking
circuitous　methods　of　confiding　to　him　his　most　hidden　thoughts；　for
be　well　knew　he　might　reckon　upon　his　counsel　in　diverting　them；　or
his　help　in　carrying　them　into　effect。
　　〃That　is　the　truth；〃　replied　Anselmo；　〃and　relying　upon　that　I
will　tell　thee；　friend　Lothario；　that　the　desire　which　harasses　me
is　that　of　knowing　whether　my　wife　Camilla　is　as　good　and　as　perfect
as　I　think　her　to　be；　and　I　cannot　satisfy　myself　of　the　truth　on　this
point　except　by　testing　her　in　such　a　way　that　the　trial　may　prove　the
purity　of　her　virtue　as　the　fire　proves　that　of　gold；　because　I　am
persuaded；　my　friend；　that　a　woman　is　virtuous　only　in　proportion　as
she　is　or　is　not　tempted；　and　that　she　alone　is　strong　who　does　not
yield　to　the　promises；　gifts；　tears；　and　importunities　of　earnest
lovers；　for　what　thanks　does　a　woman　deserve　for　being　good　if　no
one　urges　her　to　be　bad；　and　what　wonder　is　it　that　she　is　reserved
and　circumspect　to　whom　no　opportunity　is　given　of　going　wrong　and　who
knows　she　has　a　husband　that　will　take　her　life　the　first　time　he
detects　her　in　an　impropriety？　I　do　not　therefore　hold　her　who　is
virtuous　through　fear　or　want　of　opportunity　in　the　same　estimation　as
her　who　comes　out　of　temptation　and　trial　with　a　crown　of　victory；　and
so；　for　these　reasons　and　many　others　that　I　could　give　thee　to
justify　and　support　the　opinion　I　hold；　I　am　desirous　that　my　wife
Camilla　should　pass　this　crisis；　and　be　refined　and　tested　by　the　fire
of　finding　herself　wooed　and　by　one　worthy　to　set　his　affections
upon　her；　and　if　she　comes　out；　as　I　know　she　will；　victorious　from
this　struggle；　I　shall　look　upon　my　good　fortune　as　unequalled；　I
shall　be　able　to　say　that　the　cup　of　my　desire　is　full；　and　that　the
virtuous　woman　of　whom　the　sage　says　'Who　shall　find　her？'　has
fallen　to　my　lot。　And　if　the　result　be　the　contrary　of　what　I
expect；　in　the　satisfaction　of　knowing　that　I　have　been　right　in　my
opinion；　I　shall　bear　without　complaint　the　pain　which　my　so　dearly
bought　experience　will　naturally　cause　me。　And；　as　nothing　of　all　thou
wilt　urge　in　opposition　to　my　wish　will　avail　to　keep　me　from　carrying
it　into　effect；　it　is　my　desire；　friend　Lothario；　that　thou　shouldst
consent　to　become　the　instrument　for　effecting　this　purpose　that　I
am　bent　upon；　for　I　will　afford　thee　opportunities　to　that　end；　and
nothing　shall　be　wanting　that　I　may　think　necessary　for　the　pursuit　of
a　virtuous；　honourable；　modest　and　high…minded　woman。　And　among
other　reasons；　I　am　induced　to　entrust　this　arduous　task　to　thee　by
the　consideration　that　if　Camilla　be　conquered　by　thee　the　conquest
will　not　be　pushed　to　extremes；　but　only　far　enough　to　account　that
accomplished　which　from　a　sense　of　honour　will　be　left　undone；　thus
I　shall　not　be　wronged　in　anything　more　than　intention；　and　my　wrong
will　remain　buried　in　the　integrity　of　thy　silence；　which　I　know
well　will　be　as　lasting　as　that　of　death　in　what　concerns　me。　If；
therefore；　thou　wouldst　have　me　enjoy　what　can　be　called　life；　thou
wilt　at　once　engage　in　this　love　struggle；　not　lukewarmly　nor
slothfully；　but　with　the　energy　and　zeal　that　my　desire　demands；　and
with　the　loyalty　our　friendship　assures　me　of。〃
　　Such　were　the　words　Anselmo　addressed　to　Lothario；　who　listened　to
them　with　such　attention　that；　except　to　say　what　has　been　already
mentioned；　he　did　not　open　his　lips　until　the　other　had　finished。　Then
perceiving　that　he　had　no　more　to　say；　after　regarding　him　for　awhile；
as　one　would　regard　something　never　before　seen　that　excited　wonder
and　amazement；　he　said　to　him；　〃I　cannot　persuade　myself；　Anselmo　my
friend；　that　what　thou　hast　said　to　me　is　not　in　jest；　if　I　thought
that　thou　wert　speaking　seriously　I　would　not　have　allowed　thee　to
go　so　far；　so　as　to　put　a　stop　to　thy　long　harangue　by　not　listening
to　thee　I　verily　suspect　that　either　thou　dost　not　know　me；　or　I　do
not　know　thee；　but　no；　I　know　well　thou　art　Anselmo；　and　thou
knowest　that　I　am　Lothario；　the　misfortune　is；　it　seems　to　me；　that
thou　art　not　the　Anselmo　thou　wert；　and　must　have　thought　that　I　am
not　the　Lothario　I　should　be；　for　the　things　that　thou　hast　said　to　me
are　not　those　of　that　Anselmo　who　was　my　friend；　nor　are　those　that
thou　demandest　of　me　what　should　be　asked　of　the　Lothario　thou
knowest。　True　friends　will　prove　their　friends　and　make　use　of　them；
as　a　poet　has　said；　usque　ad　aras；　whereby　he　meant　that　they　will　not
make　use　of　their　friendship　in　things　that　are　contrary　to　God's
will。　If　this；　then；　was　a　heathen's　feeling　about　friendship；　how
much　more　should　it　be　a　Christian's；　who　knows　that　the　divine　must
not　be　forfeited　for　the　sake　of　any　human　friendship？　And　if　a　friend
should　go　so　far　as　to　put　aside　his　duty　to　Heaven　to　fulfil　his　duty
to　his　friend；　it　should　not　be　in　matters　that　are　trifling　or　of
little　moment；　but　in　such　as　affect　the　friend's　life　and　honour。　Now
tell　me；　Anselmo；　in　which　of　these　two　art　thou　imperilled；　that　I
should　hazard　myself　to　gratify　thee；　and　do　a　thing　so　detestable
as　that　thou　seekest　of　me？　Neither　forsooth；　on　the　contrary；　thou
dost　ask　of　me；　so　far　as　I　understand；　to　strive　and　labour　to　rob
thee　of　honour　and　life；　and　to　rob　myself　of　them　at　the　same　time；
for　if　I　take　away　thy　honour　it　is　plain　I　take　away　thy　life；　as　a
man　without　honour　is　worse　than　dead；　and　being　the　instrument；　as
thou　wilt　have　it　so；　of　so　much　wrong　to　thee；　shall　not　I；　too；　be
left　without　honour；　and　consequently　without　life？　Listen　to　me；
Anselmo　my　friend；　and　be　not　impatient　to　answer　me　until　I　have　said
what　occurs　to　me　touching　the　object　of　thy　desire；　for　there　will　be
time　enough　left　for　thee　to　reply　and　for　me　to　hear。〃
　　〃Be　it　so；〃　said　Anselmo；　〃say　what　thou　wilt。〃
　　Lothario　then　went　on　to　say；　〃It　seems　to　me；　Anselmo；　that　thine
is　just　now　the　temper　of　mind　which　is　always　that　of　the　Moors；
who　can　never　be　brought　to　see　the　error　of　their　creed　by　quotations
from　the　Holy　Scriptures；　or　by　reasons　which　depend　upon　the
examination　of　the　understanding　or　are　founded　upon　the　articles　of
faith；　but　must　have　examples　that　are　palpable；　easy；　intelligible；
capable　of　proof；　not　admitting　of　doubt；　with　mathematical
demonstrations　that　cannot　be　denied；　like；　'If　equals　be　taken　from
equals；　the　remainders　are　equal：'　and　if　they　do　not　understand
this　in　words；　and　indeed　they　do　not；　it　has　to　be　shown　to　them　with
the　hands；　and　put　before　their　eyes；　and　even　with　all　this　no　one
succeeds　in　convincing　them　of　the　truth　of　our　holy　religion。　This
same　mode　of　proceeding　I　shall　have　to　adopt　with　thee；　for　the
desire　which　has　sprung　up　in　thee　is　so　absurd　and　remote　from
everything　that　has　a　semblance　of　reason；　that　I　feel　it　would　be　a
waste　of　time　to　employ　it　in　reasoning　with　thy　simplicity；　for　at
present　I　will　call　it　by　no　other　name；　and　I　am　even　tempted　to
leave　thee　in　thy　folly　as　a　punishment　for　thy　pernicious　desire；　but
the　friendship　I　bear　thee；　which　will　not　allow　me　to　desert　thee
in　such　manifest　danger　of　destruction；　keeps　me　from　dealing　so
harshly　by　thee。　And　that　thou　mayest　clearly　see　this；　say；
Anselmo；　hast　thou　not　told　me　that　I　must　force　my　suit　upon　a　modest
woman；　decoy　one　that　is　virtuous；　make　overtures　to　one　that　is
pure…minded；　pay　court　to　one　that　is　prudent？　Yes；　thou　hast　told
me　so。　Then；　if　thou　knowest　that　thou　hast　a　wife；　modest；
virtuous；　pure…minded　and　prudent；　what　is　it　that　thou　seekest？　And
if　thou　believest　that　she　will　come　forth　victorious　from　all　my
attacks…　as　doubtless　she　would…　what　higher　titles　than　those　she
possesses　now　dost　thou　think　thou　canst　upon　her　then；　or　in　what
will　she　be　better　then　than　she　is　now？　Either　thou　dost　not　hold　her
to　be　what　thou　sayest；　or　thou　knowest　not　what　thou　dost　demand。
If　thou　dost　not　hold　her　to　be　what　thou　why　dost　thou　seek　to
prove　her　instead　of　treating　her　as　guilty　in　the　way　that　may　seem
best　to　thee？　but　if　she　be　as　virtuous　as　thou　believest；　it　is　an
uncalled…for　proceeding　to　make　trial　of　truth　itself；　for；　after
trial；　it　will　but　be　in　the　same　estimation　as　before。　Thus；　then；　it
is　conclusive　that　to　attempt　things　from　which　harm　rather　than
advantage　may　come　to　us　is　the　part　of　unreasoning　and　reckless
minds；　more　especially　when　they　are　things　which　we　are　not　forced　or
compelled　to　attempt；　and　which　show　from　afar　that　it　is　plainly
madness　to　attempt　them。
　　〃Difficulties　are　attempted　either　for　the　sake　of　God　or　for　the
sake　of　the　world；　or　for　both；　those　undertaken　for　God's　sake　are
those　which　the　saints　undertake　when　they　attempt　to　live　the　lives
of　angels　in　human　bodies；　those　undertaken　for　the　sake　of　the
world　are　those　of　the　men　who　traverse　such　a　vast　expanse　of
water；　such　a　variety　of　climates；　so　many　strange　countries；　to
acquire　what　are　called　the　blessings　of　fortune；　and　those　undertaken
for　the　sake　of　God　and　the　world　together　are　those　of　brave
soldiers；　who　no　sooner　do　they　see　in　the　enemy's　wall　a　breach　as
wide　as　a　cannon　ball　could　make；　than；　casting　aside　all　fear；
without　hesitating；　or　heeding　the　manifest　peril　that　threatens　them；
borne　onward　by　the　desire　of　defending　their　faith；　their　country；
and　their　king；　they　fling　themselves　dauntlessly　into　the　midst　of
the　thousand　opposing　deaths　that　await　them。　Such　are　the　things　that
men　are　wont　to　attempt；　and　there　is　honour；　glory；　gain；　in
attempting　them；　however　full　of　difficulty　and　peril　they　may　be；　but
that　which　thou　sayest　it　is　thy　wish　to　attempt　and　carry　out　will
not　win　thee　the　glory　of　God　nor　the　blessings　of　fortune　nor　fame
among　men；　for　even　if　the　issue　he　as　thou　wouldst　have　it；　thou　wilt
be　no　happier；　richer；　or　more　honoured　than　thou　art　this　moment；　and
if　it　be　otherwise　thou　wilt　be　reduced　to　misery　greater　than　can
be　imagined；　for　then　it　will　avail　thee　nothing　to　reflect　that　no
one　is　aware　of　the　misfortune　that　has　befallen　thee；　it　will　suffice
to　torture　and　crush　thee　that　thou　knowest　it　thyself。　And　in
confirmation　of　the　truth　of　what　I　say；　let　me　repeat　to　thee　a
stanza　made　by　the　famous　poet　Luigi　Tansillo　at　the　end　of　the
first　part　of　his　'Tears　of　Saint　Peter；'　which　says　thus：

　　　The　anguish　and　the　shame　but　greater　grew
　　　　　In　Peter's　heart　as　mornin