half a life-time ago-第2章

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She　began　to　cry　a　low；　feeble　cry；　and　covered　up　her　face　that

Susan　might　not　see　her。　　That　dear　face！　those　precious　moments

while　yet　the　eyes　could　look　out　with　love　and　intelligence。　　Susan

laid　her　head　down　close　by　her　mother's　ear。



〃Mother　I'll　take　tent　of　Will。　　Mother；　do　you　hear？　　He　shall　not

want　ought　I　can　give　or　get　for　him；　least　of　all　the　kind　words

which　you　had　ever　ready　for　us　both。　　Bless　you！　bless　you！　my　own

mother。〃



〃Thou'lt　promise　me　that；　Susan；　wilt　thou？　　I　can　die　easy　if

thou'lt　take　charge　of　him。　　But　he's　hardly　like　other　folk；　he

tries　father　at　times；　though　I　think　father'll　be　tender　of　him　when

I'm　gone；　for　my　sake。　　And；　Susan；　there's　one　thing　more。　　I　never

spoke　on　it　for　fear　of　the　bairn　being　called　a　tell…tale；　but　I

just　comforted　him　up。　　He　vexes　Michael　at　times；　and　Michael　has

struck　him　before　now。　　I　did　not　want　to　make　a　stir；　but　he's　not

strong；　and　a　word　from　thee；　Susan；　will　go　a　long　way　with

Michael。〃



Susan　was　as　red　now　as　she　had　been　pale　before；　it　was　the　first

time　that　her　influence　over　Michael　had　been　openly　acknowledged　by

a　third　person；　and　a　flash　of　joy　came　athwart　the　solemn　sadness　of

the　moment。　　Her　mother　had　spoken　too　much；　and　now　came　on　the

miserable　faintness。　　She　never　spoke　again　coherently；　but　when　her

children　and　her　husband　stood　by　her　bedside；　she　took　lile　Will's

hand　and　put　it　into　Susan's；　and　looked　at　her　with　imploring　eyes。

Susan　clasped　her　arms　round　Will；　and　leaned　her　head　upon　his

little　curly　one；　and　vowed　within　herself　to　be　as　a　mother　to　him。



Henceforward　she　was　all　in　all　to　her　brother。　　She　was　a　more

spirited　and　amusing　companion　to　him　than　his　mother　had　been；　from

her　greater　activity；　and　perhaps；　also；　from　her　originality　of

character；　which　often　prompted　her　to　perform　her　habitual　actions

in　some　new　and　racy　manner。　　She　was　tender　to　lile　Will　when　she

was　prompt　and　sharp　with　everybody　elsewith　Michael　most　of　all；

for　somehow　the　girl　felt　that；　unprotected　by　her　mother；　she　must

keep　up　her　own　dignity；　and　not　allow　her　lover　to　see　how　strong　a

hold　he　had　upon　her　heart。　　He　called　her　hard　and　cruel；　and　left

her　so；　and　she　smiled　softly　to　herself；　when　his　back　was　turned；

to　think　how　little　he　guessed　how　deeply　he　was　loved。　　For　Susan

was　merely　comely　and　fine　looking；　Michael　was　strikingly　handsome；

admired　by　all　the　girls　for　miles　round；　and　quite　enough　of　a

country　coxcomb　to　know　it　and　plume　himself　accordingly。　　He　was　the

second　son　of　his　father；　the　eldest　would　have　High　Beck　farm；　of

course；　but　there　was　a　good　penny　in　the　Kendal　bank　in　store　for

Michael。　　When　harvest　was　over；　he　went　to　Chapel　Langdale　to　learn

to　dance；　and　at　night；　in　his　merry　moods；　he　would　do　his　steps　on

the　flag　floor　of　the　Yew　Nook　kitchen；　to　the　secret　admiration　of

Susan；　who　had　never　learned　dancing；　but　who　flouted　him

perpetually；　even　while　she　admired；　in　accordance　with　the　rule　she

seemed　to　have　made　for　herself　about　keeping　him　at　a　distance　so

long　as　he　lived　under　the　same　roof　with　her。　　One　evening　he　sulked

at　some　saucy　remark　of　hers；　he　sitting　in　the　chimney　corner　with

his　arms　on　his　knees；　and　his　head　bent　forwards；　lazily　gazing　into

the　wood…fire　on　the　hearth；　and　luxuriating　in　rest　after　a　hard

day's　labour；　she　sitting　among　the　geraniums　on　the　long；　low

window…seat；　trying　to　catch　the　last　slanting　rays　of　the　autumnal

light　to　enable　her　to　finish　stitching　a　shirt…collar　for　Will；　who

lounged　full　length　on　the　flags　at　the　other　side　of　the　hearth　to

Michael；　poking　the　burning　wood　from　time　to　time　with　a　long　hazel…

stick　to　bring　out　the　leap　of　glittering　sparks。



〃And　if　you　can　dance　a　threesome　reel；　what　good　does　it　do　ye？〃

asked　Susan；　looking　askance　at　Michael；　who　had　just　been　vaunting

his　proficiency。　　〃Does　it　help　you　plough；　reap；　or　even　climb　the

rocks　to　take　a　raven's　nest？　　If　I　were　a　man；　I'd　be　ashamed　to

give　in　to　such　softness。〃



〃If　you　were　a　man；　you'd　be　glad　to　do　anything　which　made　the

pretty　girls　stand　round　and　admire。〃



〃As　they　do　to　you；　eh！　　Ho；　Michael；　that　would　not　be　my　way　o'

being　a　man！〃



〃What　would　then？〃　asked　he；　after　a　pause；　during　which　he　had

expected　in　vain　that　she　would　go　on　with　her　sentence。　　No　answer。



〃I　should　not　like　you　as　a　man；　Susy；　you'd　be　too　hard　and

headstrong。〃



〃Am　I　hard　and　headstrong？〃　asked　she；　with　as　indifferent　a　tone　as

she　could　assume；　but　which　yet　had　a　touch　of　pique　in　it。　　His

quick　ear　detected　the　inflexion。



〃No；　Susy！　　You're　wilful　at　times；　and　that's　right　enough。　　I　don't

like　a　girl　without　spirit。　　There's　a　mighty　pretty　girl　comes　to

the　dancing　class；　but　she　is　all　milk　and　water。　　Her　eyes　never

flash　like　yours　when　you're　put　out；　why；　I　can　see　them　flame

across　the　kitchen　like　a　cat's　in　the　dark。　　Now；　if　you　were　a　man；

I　should　feel　queer　before　those　looks　of　yours；　as　it　is；　I　rather

like　them；　because〃



〃Because　what？〃　asked　she；　looking　up　and　perceiving　that　he　had

stolen　close　up　to　her。



〃Because　I　can　make　all　right　in　this　way；〃　said　he；　kissing　her

suddenly。



〃Can　you？〃　said　she；　wrenching　herself　out　of　his　grasp　and　panting；

half　with　rage。　　〃Take　that；　by　way　of　proof　that　making　right　is

none　so　easy。〃　　And　she　boxed　his　ears　pretty　sharply。　　He　went　back

to　his　seat　discomfited　and　out　of　temper。　　She　could　no　longer　see

to　look；　even　if　her　face　had　not　burnt　and　her　eyes　dazzled；　but　she

did　not　choose　to　move　her　seat；　so　she　still　preserved　her　stooping

attitude　and　pretended　to　go　on　sewing。



〃Eleanor　Hebthwaite　may　be　milk…and…water；〃　muttered　he；　〃but

Confound　thee；　lad！　what　art　thou　doing？〃　exclaimed　Michael；　as　a

great　piece　of　burning　wood　was　cast　into　his　face　by　an　unlucky　poke

of　Will's。　　〃Thou　great　lounging；　clumsy　chap；　I'll　teach　thee

better！〃　and　with　one　or　two　good　round　kicks　he　sent　the　lad

whimpering　away　into　the　back…kitchen。　　When　he　had　a　little

recovered　himself　from　his　passion；　he　saw　Susan　standing　before　him；

her　face　looking　strange　and　almost　ghastly　by　the　reversed　position

of　the　shadows；　arising　from　the　firelight　shining　upwards　right

under　it。



〃I　tell　thee　what；　Michael；〃　said　she；　〃that　lad's　motherless；　but

not　friendless。〃



〃His　own　father　leathers　him；　and　why　should　not　I；　when　he's　given

me　such　a　burn　on　my　face？〃　said　Michael；　putting　up　his　hand　to　his

cheek　as　if　in　pain。



〃His　father's　his　father；　and　there　is　nought　more　to　be　said。　　But

if　he　did　burn　thee；　it　was　by　accident；　and　not　o'　purpose；　as　thou

kicked　him；　it's　a　mercy　if　his　ribs　are　not　broken。〃



〃He　howls　loud　enough；　I'm　sure。　　I　might　ha'　kicked　many　a　lad　twice

as　hard；　and　they'd　ne'er　ha'　said　ought　but　'damn　ye；'　but　yon　lad

must　needs　cry　out　like　a　stuck　pig　if　one　touches　him；〃　replied

Michael；　sullenly。



Susan　went　back　to　the　window…seat；　and　looked　absently　out　of　the

window　at　the　drifting　clouds　for　a　minute　or　two；　while　her　eyes

filled　with　tears。　　Then　she　got　up　and　made　for　the　outer　door　which

led　into　the　back…kitchen。　　Before　she　reached　it；　however；　she　heard

a　low　voice；　whose　music　made　her　thrill；　say　…



〃Susan；　Susan！〃



Her　heart　melted　within　her；　but　it　seemed　like　treachery　to　her　poor

boy；　like　faithlessness　to　her　dead　mother；　to　turn　to　her　lover

while　the　tears　which　he　had　caused　to　flow　were　yet　unwiped　on

Will's　cheeks。　　So　she　seemed　to　take　no　heed；　but　passed　into　the

darkness；　and；　guided　by　the　sobs；　she　found　her　way　to　where　Willie

sat　crouched　among　the　disused　tubs　and　churns。



〃Come　out　wi'　me；　lad；〃　and　they　went　out　into　the　orchard；　where　the

fruit…trees　were　bare　of　leaves；　but　ghastly　in　their　tattered

covering　of　gray　moss：　　and　the　soughing　November　wind　came　with　long

sweeps　over　the　fells　till　it　rattled　among　the　crackling　boughs；

underneath　which　the　brother　and　sister　sat　in　the　dark；　he　in　her

lap；　and　she　hushing　his　head　against　her　shoulder。



〃Thou　should'st　na'　play　wi'　fire。　　It's　a　naughty　trick。　　Thoul't

suffer　for　it　in　worse　ways　nor　this　before　thou'st　done；　I'm

afeared。　　I　should　ha'　hit　thee　twice　as　lungeous　kicks　as　Mike；　if

I'd　been　in　his　place。　　He　did　na'　hurt　thee；　I　am　sure；〃　she

assumed；　half　as　a　question。



〃Yes　but　he　did。　　He　turned　me　quite　sick。〃　　And　he　let　his　head　fall

languidly　down　on　his　sister's　breast。



〃Come；　lad！　come；　lad！〃　said　she　anxiously。　　〃Be　a　man。　　It　was　not

much　that　I　saw。　　Why；　when　first　the　red　cow　came　she　kicked　me　far

harder　for　offering　to　milk　her　before　her　legs　were　tied。　　See　thee！

here's　a　peppermint…drop；　and　I'll　make　thee　a　pasty　to…night；　only

don't　give　way　so；　for　it　hurts　me　sore　to　think　that　Michael　has

done　thee　any　harm；　my　pretty。〃



Willie　roused　himself　up；　and　put　back　the　wet　and　ruffled　hair　from

his　heated　face；　and　he　and　Susan　rose　up；　and　hand…in…hand　went

towards　the　house；　walking　slowly　and　quietly　except　for　a　kind　of

sob　which　Willie　could　not　repress。　　Susan　took　him　to　the　pump　and

washed　his　tear…stained　face；　till　she　thought　she　had　obliterated

all　traces　of　the　recent　disturbance；　arranging　his　curls　for　him；

and　then　she　kissed　him　tenderly；　and　led　him　in；　hoping　to　find

Michael　in　the　kitchen；　and　make　all　straight　between　them。　　But　the

blaze　had　dropped　down　into　darkness；　the　wood　was　a　heap　of　gray

ashes　in　which　the　sparks　ran　hither　and　thither；　but　even　in　the

groping　darkness　Susan　knew　by　the　sinking　at　her　heart　that　Michael

was　not　there。　　She　threw　another　brand　on　the　hearth　and　lighted　the

candle；　and　sat　down　to　her　work　in　silence。　　Willie　cowered　on　his

stool　by　the　side　of　the　fire；　eyeing　his　sister　from　time　to　time；

and　sorry　and　oppressed；　he　knew　not　why；　by　the　sight　of　her　grave；

almost　stern　face。　　No　one　came。　　They　two　were　in　the　house　alone。

The　old　woman　who　helped　Susan　with　the　household　work　had　gone　out

for　the　night　to　some　friend's　dwelling。　　William　Dixon；　the　father；

was　up　on　the　fells　seeing　after　his　sheep。　　Susan　had　no　heart　to

prepare　the　evening　meal。



〃Susy；　darling；　are　you　angry　with　me？〃　said　Willie；　in　his　little

piping；　gentle　voice。　　He　had　stolen　up　to　his　sister's　side。　　〃I

won't　never　play　with　the　fire　again；　and　I'll　not　cry　if　Michael

does　kick　me。　　Only　don't　look　so　like　dead　motherdon'tdon't

please　don't！〃　he　exclaimed；　hiding　his　face　on　her　shoulder。



〃I'm　not　angry；　Willie；〃　said　she。　　〃Don't　be　feared　on　me。　　You　want

your　supper；　and　you　shall　have　it；　and　don't　you　be　feared　on

Michael。　　He　shall　give　reason　for　every　hair　of　your　head　that　he

toucheshe　shall。〃



When　William　Dixon　came　home　he　found　Susan　and　Willie　sitting

together；　hand…in…hand；　and　appar