the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第26章

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　　one　to　be　feared　least　may　be　the　woman　of　gallantry　whom　you　love
　　without　exactly　knowing　why；　she　will　leave　you　for　no　motive　and
　　go　back　to　you　out　of　vanity。　All　these　women　will　injure　you；
　　either　in　the　present　or　the　future。　Every　young　woman　who　enters
　　society　and　lives　a　life　of　pleasure　and　of　gratified　vanity　is
　　semi…corrupt　and　will　corrupt　you。　Among　them　you　will　not　find
　　the　chaste　and　tranquil　being　in　whom　you　may　forever　reign。　Ah！
　　she　who　loves　you　will　love　solitude；　the　festivals　of　her　heart
　　will　be　your　glances；　she　will　live　upon　your　words。　May　she　be
　　all　the　world　to　you；　for　you　will　be　all　in　all　to　her。　Love　her
　　well；　give　her　neither　griefs　nor　rivals；　do　not　rouse　her
　　jealousy。　To　be　loved；　dear；　to　be　comprehended；　is　the　greatest
　　of　all　joys；　I　pray　that　you　may　taste　it！　But　run　no　risk　of
　　injuring　the　flower　of　your　soul；　be　sure；　be　very　sure　of　the
　　heart　in　which　you　place　your　affections。　That　woman　will　never　be
　　her　own　self；　she　will　never　think　of　herself；　but　of　you。　She
　　will　never　oppose　you；　she　will　have　no　interests　of　her　own；　for
　　you　she　will　see　a　danger　where　you　can　see　none　and　where　she
　　would　be　oblivious　of　her　own。　If　she　suffers　it　will　be　in
　　silence；　she　will　have　no　personal　vanity；　but　deep　reverence　for
　　whatever　in　her　has　won　your　love。　Respond　to　such　a　love　by
　　surpassing　it。　If　you　are　fortunate　enough　to　find　that　which　I；
　　your　poor　friend；　must　ever　be　without；　I　mean　a　love　mutually
　　inspired；　mutually　felt；　remember　that　in　a　valley　lives　a　mother
　　whose　heart　is　so　filled　with　the　feelings　you　have　put　there　that
　　you　can　never　sound　its　depths。　Yes；　I　bear　you　an　affection　which
　　you　will　never　know　to　its　full　extent；　before　it　could　show
　　itself　for　what　it　is　you　would　have　to　lose　your　mind　and
　　intellect；　and　then　you　would　be　unable　to　comprehend　the　length
　　and　breadth　of　my　devotion。

　　Shall　I　be　misunderstood　in　bidding　you　avoid　young　women　（all
　　more　or　less　artful；　satirical；　vain；　frivolous；　and　extravagant）
　　and　attach　yourself　to　influential　women；　to　those　imposing
　　dowagers　full　of　excellent　good…sense；　like　my　aunt；　who　will　help
　　your　career；　defend　you　from　attacks；　and　say　for　you　the　things
　　that　you　cannot　say　for　yourself？　Am　I　not；　on　the　contrary；
　　generous　in　bidding　you　reserve　your　love　for　the　coming　angel
　　with　the　guileless　heart？　If　the　motto　Noblesse　oblige　sums　up　the
　　advice　I　gave　you　just　now；　my　further　advice　on　your　relations　to
　　women　is　based　upon　that　other　motto　of　chivalry；　〃Serve　all；　love
　　one！〃

　　Your　educational　knowledge　is　immense；　your　heart；　saved　by　early
　　suffering；　is　without　a　stain；　all　is　noble；　all　is　well　with　you。
　　Now；　Felix；　WILL！　Your　future　lies　in　that　one　word；　that　word　of
　　great　men。　My　child；　you　will　obey　your　Henriette；　will　you　not？
　　You　will　permit　her　to　tell　you　from　time　to　time　the　thoughts
　　that　are　in　her　mind　of　you　and　of　your　relations　to　the　world？　I
　　have　an　eye　in　my　soul　which　sees　the　future　for　you　as　for　my
　　children；　suffer　me　to　use　that　faculty　for　your　benefit；　it　is　a
　　faculty；　a　mysterious　gift　bestowed　by　my　lonely　life；　far　from
　　its　growing　weaker；　I　find　it　strengthened　and　exalted　by　solitude
　　and　silence。

　　I　ask　you　in　return　to　bestow　a　happiness　on　me；　I　desire　to　see
　　you　becoming　more　and　more　important　among　men；　without　one　single
　　success　that　shall　bring　a　line　of　shame　upon　my　brow；　I　desire
　　that　you　may　quickly　bring　your　fortunes　to　the　level　of　your
　　noble　name；　and　be　able　to　tell　me　I　have　contributed　to　your
　　advancement　by　something　better　than　a　wish。　This　secret
　　co…operation　in　your　future　is　the　only　pleasure　I　can　allow
　　myself。　For　it；　I　will　wait　and　hope。

　　I　do　not　say　farewell。　We　are　separated；　you　cannot　put　my　hand　to
　　your　lips；　but　you　must　surely　know　the　place　you　hold　in　the
　　heart　of　your

Henriette。


As　I　read　this　letter　I　felt　the　maternal　heart　beating　beneath　my
fingers　which　held　the　paper　while　I　was　still　cold　from　the　harsh
greeting　of　my　own　mother。　I　understood　why　the　countess　had　forbidden
me　to　open　it　in　Touraine；　no　doubt　she　feared　that　I　would　fall　at
her　feet　and　wet　them　with　my　tears。

I　now　made　the　acquaintance　of　my　brother　Charles；　who　up　to　this　time
had　been　a　stranger　to　me。　But　in　all　our　intercourse　he　showed　a
haughtiness　which　kept　us　apart　and　prevented　brotherly　affection。
Kindly　feelings　depend　on　similarity　of　soul；　and　there　was　no　point
of　touch　between　us。　He　preached　to　me　dogmatically　those　social
trifles　which　head　or　heart　can　see　without　instruction；　he　seemed　to
mistrust　me。　If　I　had　not　had　the　inward　support　of　my　great　love　he
would　have　made　me　awkward　and　stupid　by　affecting　to　believe　that　I
knew　nothing　of　life。　He　presented　me　in　society　under　the　expectation
that　my　dulness　would　be　a　foil　to　his　qualities。　Had　I　not　remembered
the　sorrows　of　my　childhood　I　might　have　taken　his　protecting　vanity
for　brotherly　affection；　but　inward　solitude　produces　the　same　effects
as　outward　solitude；　silence　within　our　souls　enables　us　to　hear　the
faintest　sound；　the　habit　of　taking　refuge　within　ourselves　develops　a
perception　which　discerns　every　quality　of　the　affections　about　us。
Before　I　knew　Madame　de　Mortsauf　a　hard　look　grieved　me；　a　rough　word
wounded　me　to　the　heart；　I　bewailed　these　things　without　as　yet
knowing　anything　of　a　life　of　tenderness；　whereas　now；　since　my　return
from　Clochegourde；　I　could　make　comparisons　which　perfected　my
instinctive　perceptions。　All　deductions　derived　only　from　sufferings
endured　are　incomplete。　Happiness　has　a　light　to　cast。　I　now　allowed
myself　the　more　willingly　to　be　kept　under　the　heel　of　primogeniture
because　I　was　not　my　brother's　dupe。

I　always　went　alone　to　the　Duchesse　de　Lenoncourt's；　where　Henriette's
name　was　never　mentioned；　no　one；　except　the　good　old　duke；　who　was
simplicity　itself；　ever　spoke　of　her　to　me；　but　by　the　way　he　welcomed
me　I　guessed　that　his　daughter　had　privately　commended　me　to　his　care。
At　the　moment　when　I　was　beginning　to　overcome　the　foolish　wonder　and
shyness　which　besets　a　young　man　at　his　first　entrance　into　the　great
world；　and　to　realize　the　pleasures　it　could　give　through　the
resources　it　offers　to　ambition；　just；　too；　as　I　was　beginning　to　make
use　of　Henriette's　maxims；　admiring　their　wisdom；　the　events　of　the
20th　of　March　took　place。

My　brother　followed　the　court　to　Ghent；　I；　by　Henriette's　advice　（for
I　kept　up　a　correspondence　with　her；　active　on　my　side　only）；　went
there　also　with　the　Duc　de　Lenoncourt。　The　natural　kindness　of　the　old
duke　turned　to　a　hearty　and　sincere　protection　as　soon　as　he　saw　me
attached；　body　and　soul；　to　the　Bourbons。　He　himself　presented　me　to
his　Majesty。　Courtiers　are　not　numerous　when　misfortunes　are　rife；　but
youth　is　gifted　with　ingenuous　admiration　and　uncalculating　fidelity。
The　king　had　the　faculty　of　judging　men；　a　devotion　which　might　have
passed　unobserved　in　Paris　counted　for　much　at　Ghent；　and　I　had　the
happiness　of　pleasing　Louis　XVIII。

A　letter　from　Madame　de　Mortsauf　to　her　father；　brought　with
despatches　by　an　emissary　of　the　Vendeens；　enclosed　a　note　to　me　by
which　I　learned　that　Jacques　was　ill。　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf；　in　despair
at　his　son's　ill…health；　and　also　at　the　news　of　a　second　emigration；
added　a　few　words　which　enabled　me　to　guess　the　situation　of　my　dear
one。　Worried　by　him；　no　doubt；　when　she　passed　all　her　time　at
Jacques'　bedside；　allowed　no　rest　either　day　or　night；　superior　to
annoyance；　yet　unable　always　to　control　herself　when　her　whole　soul
was　given　to　the　care　of　her　child；　Henriette　needed　the　support　of　a
friendship　which　might　lighten　the　burden　of　her　life；　were　it　only　by
diverting　her　husband's　mind。　Though　I　was　now　most　impatient　to　rival
the　career　of　my　brother；　who　had　lately　been　sent　to　the　Congress　of
Vienna；　and　was　anxious　at　any　risk　to　justify　Henriette's　appeal　and
become　a　man　myself；　freed　from　all　vassalage；　nevertheless　my
ambition；　my　desire　for　independence；　the　great　interest　I　had　in　not
leaving　the　king；　all　were　of　no　account　before　the　vision　of　Madame
de　Mortsauf's　sad　face。　I　resolved　to　leave　the　court　at　Ghent　and
serve　my　true　sovereign。　God　rewarded　me。　The　emissary　sent　by　the
Vendeens　was　unable　to　return。　The　king　wanted　a　messenger　who　would
faithfully　carry　back　his　instructions。　The　Duc　de　Lenoncourt　knew
that　the　king　would　never　forget　the　man　who　undertook　so　perilous　an
enterprise；　he　asked　for　the　mission　without　consulting　me；　and　I
gladly　accepted　it；　happy　indeed　to　be　able　to　return　to　Clochegourde
employed　in　the　good　cause。

After　an　audience　with　the　king　I　returned　to　France；　where；　both　in
Paris　and　in　Vendee；　I　was　fortunate　enough　to　carry　out　his　Majesty's
instructions。　Towards　the　end　of　May；　being　tracked　by　the　Bonapartist
authorities　to　whom　I　was　denounced；　I　was　obliged　to　fly　from　place
to　place　in　the　character　of　a　man　endeavoring　to　get　back　to　his
estate。　I　went　on　foot　from　park　to　park；　from　wood　to　wood；　across
the　whole　of　upper　Vendee；　the　Bocage　and　Poitou；　changing　my
direction　as　danger　threatened。

I　reached　Saumur；　from　Saumur　I　went　to　Chinon；　and　from　Chinon　I
reached；　in　a　single　night；　the　woods　of　Nueil；　where　I　met　the　count
on　horseback；　he　took　me　up　behind　him　and　we　reached　Clochegourde
without　passing　any　one　who　recognized　me。

〃Jacques　is　better；〃　were　the　first　words　he　said　to　me。

I　explained　to　him　my　position　of　diplomatic　postman；　hunted　like　a
wild　beast；　and　the　brave　gentleman　in　his　quality　of　royalist　claimed
the　danger　over　Chessel　of　receiving　me。　As　we　came　in　sight　of
Clochegourde　the　past　eight　months　rolled　away　like　a　dream。　When　we
entered　the　salon　the　count　said：　〃Guess　whom　I　bring　you？Felix！〃

〃Is　it　possible！〃　she　said；　with　pendant　arms　and　a　bewildered　face。

I　showed　myself　and　we　both　remained　motionless；　she　in　her　armchair；
I　on　the　threshold　of　the　door；　looking　at　each　other　with　that　hunger
of　the　soul　which　endeavors　to　make　up　in　a　single　glance　for　the　lost
months。　Then；　recovering　from　a　surprise　which　left　her　heart
unveiled；　she　rose　and　I　went　up　to　her。

〃I　have　prayed　for　your　safety；〃　she　said；　giving　me　her　hand　to　kiss。

She　asked　news　of　her　father；　then　she　guessed　my　weariness　and　went
to　prepare　my　room；　while　the　count　gave　me　something　to　eat；　for　I
was　dying　of　hunger。　My　room　was　the　one　above　hers；　her　aunt's　room；
she　requested　the　count　to　take　me　there；　after　setting　her　foot　on
the　first　step　of　the　staircase；　deliberating　no　doubt　whether　to
accompany　me；　I　turned　my　head；　she　blushed；　bade　me　sleep　well；　and
went　away。　When　I　came　down　to　dinner　I　heard　for　the　first　time　of
the　disasters　at　Waterloo；　the　flight　of　Napoleon；　the　march　of　the
Allies　to　Paris；　and　the　probable　return　of　the　Bourbons。　These　events
were　all　in　all　to　the　count；　to　us　they　were　nothing。　What　think　you
was　the　great　event　I　was　to　learn；　after　kissing　the　children？for　I
will　not　dwell　on　the　alarm　I　felt　at　seeing　the　countess　pale　and
shrunke