the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第31章

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goodness；　who　pities　but　does　not　reprimand。　Still；　all　courage　draws
fresh　life　from　the　heart　of　religion；　what　soul　is　not　strengthened
by　the　voice　of　the　Holy　Spirit？　My　God；〃　she　said；　drying　her　tears
and　raising　her　eyes　to　heaven；　〃for　what　sin　am　I　thus　punished？I
believe；　yes；　Felix；　I　believe　it；　we　must　pass　through　a　fiery
furnace　before　we　reach　the　saints；　the　just　made　perfect　of　the　upper
spheres。　Must　I　keep　silence？　Am　I　forbidden；　oh；　my　God；　to　cry　to
the　heart　of　a　friend？　Do　I　love　him　too　well？〃　She　pressed　me　to　her
heart　as　though　she　feared　to　lose　me。　〃Who　will　solve　my　doubts？　My
conscience　does　not　reproach　me。　The　stars　shine　from　above　on　men；
may　not　the　soul；　the　human　star；　shed　its　light　upon　a　friend；　if　we
go　to　him　with　pure　thoughts？〃

I　listened　to　this　dreadful　cry　in　silence；　holding　her　moist　hand　in
mine　that　was　still　more　moist。　I　pressed　it　with　a　force　to　which
Henriette　replied　with　an　equal　pressure。

〃Where　are　you？〃　cried　the　count；　who　came　towards　us；　bareheaded。

Ever　since　my　return　he　had　insisted　on　sharing　our　interviews；
either　because　he　wanted　amusement；　or　feared　the　countess　would　tell
me　her　sorrows　and　complain　to　me；　or　because　he　was　jealous　of　a
pleasure　he　did　not　share。

〃How　he　follows　me！〃　she　cried；　in　a　tone　of　despair。　〃Let　us　go　into
the　orchard；　we　shall　escape　him。　We　can　stoop　as　we　run　by　the　hedge；
and　he　will　not　see　us。〃

We　made　the　hedge　a　rampart　and　reached　the　enclosure；　where　we　were
soon　at　a　good　distance　from　the　count　in　an　alley　of　almond…trees。

〃Dear　Henriette；〃　I　then　said　to　her；　pressing　her　arm　against　my
heart　and　stopping　to　contemplate　her　in　her　sorrow；　〃you　have　guided
me　with　true　knowledge　along　the　perilous　ways　of　the　great　world；　let
me　in　return　give　you　some　advice　which　may　help　you　to　end　this　duel
without　witnesses；　in　which　you　must　inevitably　be　worsted；　for　you
are　fighting　with　unequal　weapons。　You　must　not　struggle　any　longer
with　a　madman〃

〃Hush！〃　she　said；　dashing　aside　the　tears　that　rolled　from　her　eyes。

〃Listen　to　me；　dear；〃　I　continued。　〃After　a　single　hour's　talk　with
the　count；　which　I　force　myself　to　endure　for　love　of　you；　my　thoughts
are　bewildered；　my　head　heavy；　he　makes　me　doubtful　of　my　own
intellect；　the　same　ideas　repeated　over　and　over　again　seem　to　burn
themselves　on　my　brain。　Well…defined　monomanias　are　not　communicated；
but　when　the　madness　consists　in　a　distorted　way　of　looking　at
everything；　and　when　it　lurks　under　all　discussions；　then　it　can　and
does　injure　the　minds　of　those　who　live　with　it。　Your　patience　is
sublime；　but　will　it　not　end　in　disordering　you？　For　your　sake；　for
that　of　your　children；　change　your　system　with　the　count。　Your
adorable　kindness　has　made　him　selfish；　you　have　treated　him　as　a
mother　treats　the　child　she　spoils；　but　now；　if　you　want　to　liveand
you　do　want　it；〃　I　said；　looking　at　her；　〃use　the　control　you　have
over　him。　You　know　what　it　is；　he　loves　you　and　he　fears　you；　make　him
fear　you　more；　oppose　his　erratic　will　with　your　firm　will。　Extend
your　power　over　him；　confine　his　madness　to　a　moral　sphere　just　as　we
lock　maniacs　in　a　cell。〃

〃Dear　child；〃　she　said；　smiling　bitterly；　〃a　woman　without　a　heart
might　do　it。　But　I　am　a　mother；　I　should　make　a　poor　jailer。　Yes；　I
can　suffer；　but　I　cannot　make　others　suffer。　Never！〃　she　said；　〃never！
not　even　to　obtain　some　great　and　honorable　result。　Besides；　I　should
have　to　lie　in　my　heart；　disguise　my　voice；　lower　my　head；　degrade　my
gesturedo　not　ask　of　me　such　falsehoods。　I　can　stand　between
Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　and　his　children；　I　willingly　receive　his　blows
that　they　may　not　fall　on　others；　I　can　do　all　that；　and　will　do　it　to
conciliate　conflicting　interests；　but　I　can　do　no　more。〃

〃Let　me　worship　thee；　O　saint；　thrice　holy！〃　I　exclaimed；　kneeling　at
her　feet　and　kissing　her　robe；　with　which　I　wiped　my　tears。　〃But　if　he
kills　you？〃　I　cried。

She　turned　pale　and　said；　lifting　her　eyes　to　heaven：

〃God's　will　be　done！〃

〃Do　you　know　that　the　king　said　to　your　father；　'So　that　devil　of　a
Mortsauf　is　still　living'？〃

〃A　jest　on　the　lips　of　the　king；〃　she　said；　〃is　a　crime　when　repeated
here。〃

In　spite　of　our　precautions　the　count　had　tracked　us；　he　now　arrived；
bathed　in　perspiration；　and　sat　down　under　a　walnut…tree　where　the
countess　had　stopped　to　give　me　that　rebuke。　I　began　to　talk　about　the
vintage；　the　count　was　silent；　taking　no　notice　of　the　dampness　under
the　tree。　After　a　few　insignificant　remarks；　interspersed　with　pauses
that　were　very　significant；　he　complained　of　nausea　and　headache；　but
he　spoke　gently；　and　did　not　appeal　to　our　pity；　or　describe　his
sufferings　in　his　usual　exaggerated　way。　We　paid　no　attention　to　him。
When　we　reached　the　house；　he　said　he　felt　worse　and　should　go　to　bed；
which　he　did；　quite　naturally　and　with　much　less　complaint　than　usual。
We　took　advantage　of　the　respite　and　went　down　to　our　dear　terrace
accompanied　by　Madeleine。

〃Let　us　get　that　boat　and　go　upon　the　river；〃　said　the　countess　after
we　had　made　a　few　turns。　〃We　might　go　and　look　at　the　fishing　which　is
going　on　to…day。〃

We　went　out　by　the　little　gate；　found　the　punt；　jumped　into　it　and
were　presently　paddling　up　the　Loire。　Like　three　children　amused　with
trifles；　we　looked　at　the　sedges　along　the　banks　and　the　blue　and
green　dragon…flies；　the　countess　wondered　perhaps　that　she　was　able　to
enjoy　such　peaceful　pleasures　in　the　midst　of　her　poignant　griefs；　but
Nature's　calm；　indifferent　to　our　struggles；　has　a　magic　gift　of
consolation。　The　tumults　of　a　love　full　of　restrained　desires
harmonize　with　the　wash　of　the　water；　the　flowers　that　the　hand　of　man
has　never　wilted　are　the　voice　of　his　secret　dreams；　the　voluptuous
swaying　of　the　boat　vaguely　responds　to　the　thoughts　that　are　floating
in　his　soul。　We　felt　the　languid　influence　of　this　double　poesy。
Words；　tuned　to　the　diapason　of　nature；　disclosed　mysterious　graces；
looks　were　impassioned　rays　sharing　the　light　shed　broadcast　by　the
sun　on　the　glowing　meadows。　The　river　was　a　path　along　which　we　flew。
Our　spirit；　no　longer　kept　down　by　the　measured　tread　of　our
footsteps；　took　possession　of　the　universe。　The　abounding　joy　of　a
child　at　liberty；　graceful　in　its　motions；　enticing　in　its　play；　is
the　living　expression　of　two　freed　souls；　delighting　themselves　by
becoming　ideally　the　wondrous　being　dreamed　of　by　Plato　and　known　to
all　whose　youth　has　been　filled　with　a　blessed　love。　To　describe　to
you　that　hour；　not　in　its　indescribable　details　but　in　its　essence；　I
must　say　to　you　that　we　loved　each　other　in　all　the　creations　animate
and　inanimate　which　surrounded　us；　we　felt　without　us　the　happiness
our　own　hearts　craved；　it　so　penetrated　our　being　that　the　countess
took　off　her　gloves　and　let　her　hands　float　in　the　water　as　if　to　cool
an　inward　ardor。　Her　eyes　spoke；　but　her　mouth；　opening　like　a　rose　to
the　breeze；　gave　voice　to　no　desire。　You　know　the　harmony　of　deep
tones　mingling　perfectly　with　high　ones？　Ever；　when　I　hear　it　now；　it
recalls　to　me　the　harmony　of　our　two　souls　in　this　one　hour；　which
never　came　again。

〃Where　do　you　fish？〃　I　asked；　〃if　you　can　only　do　so　from　the　banks
you　own？〃

〃Near　Pont…de…Ruan；〃　she　replied。　〃Ah！　we　now　own　the　river　from　Pont…
de…Ruan　to　Clochegourde；　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　has　lately　bought　forty
acres　of　the　meadow　lands　with　the　savings　of　two　years　and　the
arrearage　of　his　pension。　Does　that　surprise　you？〃

〃Surprise　me？〃　I　cried；　〃I　would　that　all　the　valley　were　yours。〃　She
answered　me　with　a　smile。　Presently　we　came　below　the　bridge　to　a
place　where　the　Indre　widens　and　where　the　fishing　was　going　on。

〃Well；　Martineau？〃　she　said。

〃Ah；　Madame　la　comtesse；　such　bad　luck！　We　have　fished　up　from　the
mill　the　last　three　hours；　and　have　taken　nothing。〃

We　landed　near　them　to　watch　the　drawing　in　of　the　last　net；　and　all
three　of　us　sat　down　in　the　shade　of　a　〃bouillard；〃　a　sort　of　poplar
with　a　white　bark；　which　grows　on　the　banks　of　the　Danube　and　the
Loire　（probably　on　those　of　other　large　rivers）；　and　sheds；　in　the
spring　of　the　year；　a　white　and　silky　fluff；　the　covering　of　its
flower。　The　countess　had　recovered　her　august　serenity；　she　half
regretted　the　unveiling　of　her　griefs；　and　mourned　that　she　had　cried
aloud　like　Job；　instead　of　weeping　like　the　Magdalen；a　Magdalen
without　loves；　or　galas；　or　prodigalities；　but　not　without　beauty　and
fragrance。　The　net　came　in　at　her　feet　full　of　fish；　tench；　barbels；
pike；　perch；　and　an　enormous　carp；　which　floundered　about　on　the
grass。

〃Madame　brings　luck！〃　exclaimed　the　keeper。

All　the　laborers　opened　their　eyes　as　they　looked　with　admiration　at
the　woman　whose　fairy　wand　seemed　to　have　touched　the　nets。　Just　then
the　huntsman　was　seen　urging　his　horse　over　the　meadows　at　a　full
gallop。　Fear　took　possession　of　her。　Jacques　was　not　with　us；　and　the
mother's　first　thought；　as　Virgil　so　poetically　says；　is　to　press　her
children　to　her　breast　when　danger　threatens。

〃Jacques！　Where　is　Jacques？　What　has　happened　to　my　boy？〃

She　did　not　love　me！　If　she　had　loved　me　I　should　have　seen　upon　her
face　when　confronted　with　my　sufferings　that　expression　of　a　lioness
in　despair。

〃Madame　la　comtesse；　Monsieur　le　comte　is　worse。〃

She　breathed　more　freely　and　started　to　run　towards　Clochegourde；
followed　by　me　and　by　Madeleine。

〃Follow　me　slowly；〃　she　said；　looking　back；　〃don't　let　the　dear　child
overheat　herself。　You　see　how　it　is；　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　took　that
walk　in　the　sun　which　put　him　into　a　perspiration；　and　sitting　under
the　walnut…tree　may　be　the　cause　of　a　great　misfortune。〃

The　words；　said　in　the　midst　of　her　agitation；　showed　plainly　the
purity　of　her　soul。　The　death　of　the　count　a　misfortune！　She　reached
Clochegourde　with　great　rapidity；　passing　through　a　gap　in　the　wall
and　crossing　the　fields。　I　returned　slowly。　Henriette's　words　lighted
my　mind；　but　as　the　lightning　falls　and　blasts　the　gathered　harvest。
On　the　river　I　had　fancied　I　was　her　chosen　one；　now　I　felt　bitterly
the　sincerity　of　her　words。　The　lover　who　is　not　everything　is
nothing。　I　loved　with　the　desire　of　a　love　that　knows　what　it　seeks；
which　feeds　in　advance　on　coming　transports；　and　is　content　with　the
pleasures　of　the　soul　because　it　mingles　with　them　others　which　the
future　keeps　in　store。　If　Henriette　loved；　it　was　certain　that　she
knew　neither　the　pleasures　of　love　nor　its　tumults。　She　lived　by
feelings　only；　like　a　saint　with　God。　I　was　the　object　on　which　her
thoughts　fastened　as　bees　swarm　upon　the　branch　of　a　flowering　tree。
In　my　mad　jealousy　I　reproached　myself　that　I　had　dared　nothing；　that
I　had　not　tightened　the　bonds　of　a　tenderness　which　seemed　to　me　at
that　moment　more　subtile　than　real；　by　the　chains　of　positive
possession。

The　count's　illness；　caused　perhaps　by　a　chill　under　the　walnut…tree；
became　alarming　in　a　few　hours。　I　went　to　Tours　for　a　famous　doctor
named　Origet；　but　was　unable　to　find　him　until　evening。　He　spent　that
night　and　the　next　day　at　Clochegourde。　We　had　sent　the　huntsman　in
quest　of　leeches；　but　the　doctor；　thinking　the　case　urgent；　wished　to
bleed　the　coun