the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第6章

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I　threw　such　a　look　of　entreaty　at　Monsieur　de　Chessel　that　he　began
the　preliminaries　of　accepting　the　invitation；　though　it　was　given　in
a　manner　that　seemed　to　expect　a　refusal。　As　a　man　of　the　world；　he
recognized　these　shades　of　meaning；　but　I；　a　young　man　without
experience；　believed　so　implicitly　in　the　sincerity　between　word　and
thought　of　this　beautiful　woman　that　I　was　wholly　astonished　when　my
host　said　to　me；　after　we　reached　home　that　evening；　〃I　stayed　because
I　saw　you　were　dying　to　do　so；　but　if　you　do　not　succeed　in　making　it
all　right；　I　may　find　myself　on　bad　terms　with　my　neighbors。〃　That
expression；　〃if　you　do　not　make　it　all　right；〃　made　me　ponder　the
matter　deeply。　In　other　words；　if　I　pleased　Madame　de　Mortsauf；　she
would　not　be　displeased　with　the　man　who　introduced　me　to　her。　He
evidently　thought　I　had　the　power　to　please　her；　this　in　itself　gave
me　that　power；　and　corroborated　my　inward　hope　at　a　moment　when　it
needed　some　outward　succor。

〃I　am　afraid　it　will　be　difficult；〃　he　began；　〃Madame　de　Chessel
expects　us。〃

〃She　has　you　every　day；〃　replied　the　countess；　〃besides；　we　can　send
her　word。　Is　she　alone？〃

〃No；　the　Abbe　de　Quelus　is　there。〃

〃Well；　then；〃　she　said；　rising　to　ring　the　bell；　〃you　really　must　dine
with　us。〃

This　time　Monsieur　de　Chessel　thought　her　in　earnest；　and　gave　me　a
congratulatory　look。　As　soon　as　I　was　sure　of　passing　a　whole　evening
under　that　roof　I　seemed　to　have　eternity　before　me。　For　many
miserable　beings　to…morrow　is　a　word　without　meaning；　and　I　was　of　the
number　who　had　no　faith　in　it；　when　I　was　certain　of　a　few　hours　of
happiness　I　made　them　contain　a　whole　lifetime　of　delight。

Madame　de　Mortsauf　talked　about　local　affairs；　the　harvest；　the
vintage；　and　other　matters　to　which　I　was　a　total　stranger。　This
usually　argues　either　a　want　of　breeding　or　great　contempt　for　the
stranger　present　who　is　thus　shut　out　from　the　conversation；　but　in
this　case　it　was　embarrassment。　Though　at　first　I　thought　she　treated
me　as　a　child　and　I　envied　the　man　of　thirty　to　whom　she　talked　of
serious　matters　which　I　could　not　comprehend；　I　came；　a　few　months
later；　to　understand　how　significant　a　woman's　silence　often　is；　and
how　many　thoughts　a　voluble　conversation　masks。　At　first　I　attempted
to　be　at　my　ease　and　take　part　in　it；　then　I　perceived　the　advantages
of　my　situation　and　gave　myself　up　to　the　charm　of　listening　to　Madame
de　Mortsauf's　voice。　The　breath　of　her　soul　rose　and　fell　among　the
syllables　as　sound　is　divided　by　the　notes　of　a　flute；　it　died　away　to
the　ear　as　it　quickened　the　pulsation　of　the　blood。　Her　way　of
uttering　the　terminations　in　〃i〃　was　like　a　bird's　song；　the　〃ch〃　as
she　said　it　was　a　kiss；　but　the　〃t's〃　were　an　echo　of　her　heart's
despotism。　She　thus　extended；　without　herself　knowing　that　she　did　so；
the　meaning　of　her　words；　leading　the　soul　of　the　listener　into
regions　above　this　earth。　Many　a　time　I　have　continued　a　discussion　I
could　easily　have　ended；　many　a　time　I　have　allowed　myself　to　be
unjustly　scolded　that　I　might　listen　to　those　harmonies　of　the　human
voice；　that　I　might　breathe　the　air　of　her　soul　as　it　left　her　lips；
and　strain　to　my　soul　that　spoken　light　as　I　would　fain　have　strained
the　speaker　to　my　breast。　A　swallow's　song　of　joy　it　was　when　she　was
gay！but　when　she　spoke　of　her　griefs；　a　swan's　voice　calling　to　its
mates！

Madame　de　Mortsauf's　inattention　to　my　presence　enabled　me　to　examine
her。　My　eyes　rejoiced　as　they　glided　over　the　sweet　speaker；　they
kissed　her　feet；　they　clasped　her　waist；　they　played　with　the　ringlets
of　her　hair。　And　yet　I　was　a　prey　to　terror；　as　all　who；　once　in　their
lives；　have　experienced　the　illimitable　joys　of　a　true　passion　will
understand。　I　feared　she　would　detect　me　if　I　let　my　eyes　rest　upon
the　shoulder　I　had　kissed；　and　the　fear　sharpened　the　temptation。　I
yielded；　I　looked；　my　eyes　tore　away　the　covering；　I　saw　the　mole
which　lay　where　the　pretty　line　between　the　shoulders　started；　and
which；　ever　since　the　ball；　had　sparkled　in　that　twilight　which　seems
the　region　of　the　sleep　of　youths　whose　imagination　is　ardent　and
whose　life　is　chaste。

I　can　sketch　for　you　the　leading　features　which　all　eyes　saw　in　Madame
de　Mortsauf；　but　no　drawing；　however　correct；　no　color；　however　warm；
can　represent　her　to　you。　Her　face　was　of　those　that　require　the
unattainable　artist；　whose　hand　can　paint　the　reflection　of　inward
fires　and　render　that　luminous　vapor　which　defies　science　and　is　not
revealable　by　languagebut　which　a　lover　sees。　Her　soft；　fair　hair
often　caused　her　much　suffering；　no　doubt　through　sudden　rushes　of
blood　to　the　head。　Her　brow；　round　and　prominent　like　that　of　Joconda；
teemed　with　unuttered　thoughts；　restrained　feelingsflowers　drowning
in　bitter　waters。　The　eyes；　of　a　green　tinge　flecked　with　brown；　were
always　wan；　but　if　her　children　were　in　question；　or　if　some　keen
condition　of　joy　or　suffering　（rare　in　the　lives　of　all　resigned
women）　seized　her；　those　eyes　sent　forth　a　subtile　gleam　as　if　from
fires　that　were　consuming　her；the　gleam　that　wrung　the　tears　from
mine　when　she　covered　me　with　her　contempt；　and　which　sufficed　to
lower　the　boldest　eyelid。　A　Grecian　nose；　designed　it　might　be　by
Phidias；　and　united　by　its　double　arch　to　lips　that　were　gracefully
curved；　spiritualized　the　face；　which　was　oval　with　a　skin　of　the
texture　of　a　white　camellia　colored　with　soft　rose…tints　upon　the
cheeks。　Her　plumpness　did　not　detract　from　the　grace　of　her　figure　nor
from　the　rounded　outlines　which　made　her　shape　beautiful　though　well
developed。　You　will　understand　the　character　of　this　perfection　when　I
say　that　where　the　dazzling　treasures　which　had　so　fascinated　me
joined　the　arm　there　was　no　crease　or　wrinkle。　No　hollow　disfigured
the　base　of　her　head；　like　those　which　make　the　necks　of　some　women
resemble　trunks　of　trees；　her　muscles　were　not　harshly　defined；　and
everywhere　the　lines　were　rounded　into　curves　as　fugitive　to　the　eye
as　to　the　pencil。　A　soft　down　faintly　showed　upon　her　cheeks　and　on
the　outline　of　her　throat；　catching　the　light　which　made　it　silken。
Her　little　ears；　perfect　in　shape；　were；　as　she　said　herself；　the　ears
of　a　mother　and　a　slave。　In　after　days；　when　our　hearts　were　one；　she
would　say　to　me；　〃Here　comes　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf〃；　and　she　was　right；
though　I；　whose　hearing　is　remarkably　acute；　could　hear　nothing。

Her　arms　were　beautiful。　The　curved　fingers　of　the　hand　were　long；　and
the　flesh　projected　at　the　side　beyond　the　finger…nails；　like　those　of
antique　statues。　I　should　displease　you；　I　know；　if　you　were　not
yourself　an　exception　to　my　rule；　when　I　say　that　flat　waists　should
have　the　preference　over　round　ones。　The　round　waist　is　a　sign　of
strength；　but　women　thus　formed　are　imperious；　self…willed；　and　more
voluptuous　than　tender。　On　the　other　hand；　women　with　flat　waists　are
devoted　in　soul；　delicately　perceptive；　inclined　to　sadness；　more
truly　woman　than　the　other　class。　The　flat　waist　is　supple　and
yielding；　the　round　waist　is　inflexible　and　jealous。

You　now　know　how　she　was　made。　She　had　the　foot　of　a　well…bred　woman；
the　foot　that　walks　little；　is　quickly　tired；　and　delights　the　eye
when　it　peeps　beneath　the　dress。　Though　she　was　the　mother　of　two
children；　I　have　never　met　any　woman　so　truly　a　young　girl　as　she。　Her
whole　air　was　one　of　simplicity；　joined　to　a　certain　bashful
dreaminess　which　attracted　others；　just　as　a　painter　arrests　our　steps
before　a　figure　into　which　his　genius　has　conveyed　a　world　of
sentiment。　If　you　recall　the　pure；　wild　fragrance　of　the　heath　we
gathered　on　our　return　from　the　Villa　Diodati；　the　flower　whose　tints
of　black　and　rose　you　praised　so　warmly；　you　can　fancy　how　this　woman
could　be　elegant　though　remote　from　the　social　world；　natural　in
expression；　fastidious　in　all　things　which　became　part　of　herself；in
short；　like　the　heath　of　mingled　colors。　Her　body　had　the　freshness　we
admire　in　the　unfolding　leaf；　her　spirit　the　clear　conciseness　of　the
aboriginal　mind；　she　was　a　child　by　feeling；　grave　through　suffering；
the　mistress　of　a　household；　yet　a　maiden　too。　Therefore　she　charmed
artlessly　and　unconsciously；　by　her　way　of　sitting　down　or　rising；　of
throwing　in　a　word　or　keeping　silence。　Though　habitually　collected；
watchful　as　the　sentinel　on　whom　the　safety　of　others　depends　and　who
looks　for　danger；　there　were　moments　when　smiles　would　wreathe　her
lips　and　betray　the　happy　nature　buried　beneath　the　saddened　bearing
that　was　the　outcome　of　her　life。　Her　gift　of　attraction　was
mysterious。　Instead　of　inspiring　the　gallant　attentions　which　other
women　seek；　she　made　men　dream；　letting　them　see　her　virginal　nature
of　pure　flame；　her　celestial　visions；　as　we　see　the　azure　heavens
through　rifts　in　the　clouds。　This　involuntary　revelation　of　her　being
made　others　thoughtful。　The　rarity　of　her　gestures；　above　all；　the
rarity　of　her　glancesfor；　excepting　her　children；　she　seldom　looked
at　any　onegave　a　strange　solemnity　to　all　she　said　and　did　when　her
words　or　actions　seemed　to　her　to　compromise　her　dignity。

On　this　particular　morning　Madame　de　Mortsauf　wore　a　rose…colored　gown
patterned　in　tiny　stripes；　a　collar　with　a　wide　hem；　a　black　belt；　and
little　boots　of　the　same　hue。　Her　hair　was　simply　twisted　round　her
head；　and　held　in　place　by　a　tortoise…shell　comb。　Such；　my　dear
Natalie；　is　the　imperfect　sketch　I　promised　you。　But　the　constant
emanation　of　her　soul　upon　her　family；　that　nurturing　essence　shed　in
floods　around　her　as　the　sun　emits　its　light；　her　inward　nature；　her
cheerfulness　on　days　serene；　her　resignation　on　stormy　ones；all
those　variations　of　expression　by　which　character　is　displayed　depend；
like　the　effects　in　the　sky；　on　unexpected　and　fugitive　circumstances；
which　have　no　connection　with　each　other　except　the　background　against
which　they　rest；　though　all　are　necessarily　mingled　with　the　events　of
this　history；truly　a　household　epic；　as　great　to　the　eyes　of　a　wise
man　as　a　tragedy　to　the　eyes　of　the　crowd；　an　epic　in　which　you　will
feel　an　interest；　not　only　for　the　part　I　took　in　it；　but　for　the
likeness　that　it　bears　to　the　destinies　of　so　vast　a　number　of　women。

Everything　at　Clochegourde　bore　signs　of　a　truly　English　cleanliness。
The　room　in　which　the　countess　received　us　was　panelled　throughout　and
painted　in　two　shades　of　gray。　The　mantelpiece　was　ornamented　with　a
clock　inserted　in　a　block　of　mahogany　and　surmounted　with　a　tazza；　and
two　large　vases　of　white　porcelain　with　gold　lines；　which　held　bunches
of　Cape　heather。　A　lamp　was　on　a　pier…table；　and　a　backgammon　board　on
legs　before　the　fireplace。　Two　wide　bands　of　cotton　held　back　the
white　cambric　curtains；　which　had　no　fringe。　The　furniture　was　covered
with　gray　cotton　bound　with　a　green　braid；　and　the　tapestry　on　the
countess's　frame　told　why　the　upholstery　was　thus　covered。　Such
simplicity　rose　to　grandeur。　No　apartment；　among　all　that　I　have　seen
since；　has　given　me　such　fertile；　such　teeming　impressions　as　those
that　filled　my　mind　in　that　salon　of　Clochegourde；　calm　and　composed
as　the　life　of　its　mistress；　where　the　conventual　regularity　of　her
occupations　made　itself