the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第7章

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as　the　life　of　its　mistress；　where　the　conventual　regularity　of　her
occupations　made　itself　felt。　The　greater　part　of　my　ideas　in　science
or　politics；　even　the　boldest　of　them；　were　born　in　that　room；　as
perfumes　emanate　from　flowers；　there　grew　the　mysterious　plant　that
cast　upon　my　soul　its　fructifying　pollen；　there　glowed　the　solar
warmth　which　developed　my　good　and　shrivelled　my　evil　qualities。
Through　the　windows　the　eye　took　in　the　valley　from　the　heights　of
Pont…de…Ruan　to　the　chateau　d'Azay；　following　the　windings　of　the
further　shore；　picturesquely　varied　by　the　towers　of　Frapesle；　the
church；　the　village；　and　the　old　manor…house　of　Sache；　whose　venerable
pile　looked　down　upon　the　meadows。

In　harmony　with　this　reposeful　life；　and　without　other　excitements　to
emotion　than　those　arising　in　the　family；　this　scene　conveyed　to　the
soul　its　own　serenity。　If　I　had　met　her　there　for　the　first　time；
between　the　count　and　her　two　children；　instead　of　seeing　her
resplendent　in　a　ball　dress；　I　should　not　have　ravished　that　delirious
kiss；　which　now　filled　me　with　remorse　and　with　the　fear　of　having
lost　the　future　of　my　love。　No；　in　the　gloom　of　my　unhappy　life　I
should　have　bent　my　knee　and　kissed　the　hem　of　her　garment；　wetting　it
with　tears；　and　then　I　might　have　flung　myself　into　the　Indre。　But
having　breathed　the　jasmine　perfume　of　her　skin　and　drunk　the　milk　of
that　cup　of　love；　my　soul　had　acquired　the　knowledge　and　the　hope　of
human　joys；　I　would　live　and　await　the　coming　of　happiness　as　the
savage　awaits　his　hour　of　vengeance；　I　longed　to　climb　those　trees；　to
creep　among　the　vines；　to　float　in　the　river；　I　wanted　the
companionship　of　night　and　its　silence；　I　needed　lassitude　of　body；　I
craved　the　heat　of　the　sun　to　make　the　eating　of　the　delicious　apple
into　which　I　had　bitten　perfect。　Had　she　asked　of　me　the　singing
flower；　the　riches　buried　by　the　comrades　of　Morgan　the　destroyer；　I
would　have　sought　them；　to　obtain　those　other　riches　and　that　mute
flower　for　which　I　longed。

When　my　dream；　the　dream　into　which　this　first　contemplation　of　my
idol　plunged　me；　came　to　an　end　and　I　heard　her　speaking　of　Monsieur
de　Mortsauf；　the　thought　came　that　a　woman　must　belong　to　her　husband；
and　a　raging　curiosity　possessed　me　to　see　the　owner　of　this　treasure。
Two　emotions　filled　my　mind；　hatred　and　fear；hatred　which　allowed　of
no　obstacles　and　measured　all　without　shrinking；　and　a　vague；　but　real
fear　of　the　struggle；　of　its　issue；　and　above　all　of　HER。

〃Here　is　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf；〃　she　said。

I　sprang　to　my　feet　like　a　startled　horse。　Though　the　movement　was
seen　by　Monsieur　de　Chessel　and　the　countess；　neither　made　any
observation；　for　a　diversion　was　effected　at　this　moment　by　the
entrance　of　a　little　girl；　whom　I　took　to　be　about　six　years　old；　who
came　in　exclaiming；　〃Here's　papa！〃

〃Madeleine？〃　said　her　mother；　gently。

The　child　at　once　held　out　her　hand　to　Monsieur　de　Chessel；　and　looked
attentively　at　me　after　making　a　little　bow　with　an　air　of
astonishment。

〃Are　you　more　satisfied　about　her　health？〃　asked　Monsieur　de　Chessel。

〃She　is　better；〃　replied　the　countess；　caressing　the　little　head　which
was　already　nestling　in　her　lap。

The　next　question　of　Monsieur　de　Chessel　let　me　know　that　Madeleine
was　nine　years　old；　I　showed　great　surprise；　and　immediately　the
clouds　gathered　on　the　mother's　brow。　My　companion　threw　me　a
significant　look；one　of　those　which　form　the　education　of　men　of　the
world。　I　had　stumbled　no　doubt　upon　some　maternal　wound　the　covering
of　which　should　have　been　respected。　The　sickly　child；　whose　eyes　were
pallid　and　whose　skin　was　white　as　a　porcelain　vase　with　a　light
within　it；　would　probably　not　have　lived　in　the　atmosphere　of　a　city。
Country　air　and　her　mother's　brooding　care　had　kept　the　life　in　that
frail　body；　delicate　as　a　hot…house　plant　growing　in　a　harsh　and
foreign　climate。　Though　in　nothing　did　she　remind　me　of　her　mother；
Madeleine　seemed　to　have　her　soul；　and　that　soul　held　her　up。　Her　hair
was　scanty　and　black；　her　eyes　and　cheeks　hollow；　her　arms　thin；　her
chest　narrow；　showing　a　battle　between　life　and　death；　a　duel　without
truce　in　which　the　mother　had　so　far　been　victorious。　The　child　willed
to　live；perhaps　to　spare　her　mother；　for　at　times；　when　not
observed；　she　fell　into　the　attitude　of　a　weeping…willow。　You　might
have　thought　her　a　little　gypsy　dying　of　hunger；　begging　her　way；
exhausted　but　always　brave　and　dressed　up　to　play　her　part。

〃Where　have　you　left　Jacques？〃　asked　the　countess；　kissing　the　white
line　which　parted　the　child's　hair　into　two　bands　that　looked　like　a
crow's　wings。

〃He　is　coming　with　papa。〃

Just　then　the　count　entered；　holding　his　son　by　the　hand。　Jacques；　the
image　of　his　sister；　showed　the　same　signs　of　weakness。　Seeing　these
sickly　children　beside　a　mother　so　magnificently　healthy　it　was
impossible　not　to　guess　at　the　causes　of　the　grief　which　clouded　her
brow　and　kept　her　silent　on　a　subject　she　could　take　to　God　only。　As
he　bowed；　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　gave　me　a　glance　that　was　less
observing　than　awkwardly　uneasy；the　glance　of　a　man　whose　distrust
grows　out　of　his　inability　to　analyze。　After　explaining　the
circumstances　of　our　visit；　and　naming　me　to　him；　the　countess　gave
him　her　place　and　left　the　room。　The　children；　whose　eyes　were　on
those　of　their　mother　as　if　they　drew　the　light　of　theirs　from　hers；
tried　to　follow　her；　but　she　said；　with　a　finger　on　her　lips；　〃Stay
dears！〃　and　they　obeyed；　but　their　eyes　filled。　Ah！　to　hear　that　one
word　〃dears〃　what　tasks　they　would　have　undertaken！


Like　the　children；　I　felt　less　warm　when　she　had　left　us。　My　name
seemed　to　change　the　count's　feeling　toward　me。　Cold　and　supercilious
in　his　first　glance；　he　became　at　once；　if　not　affectionate；　at　least
politely　attentive；　showing　me　every　consideration　and　seeming　pleased
to　receive　me　as　a　guest。　My　father　had　formerly　done　devoted　service
to　the　Bourbons；　and　had　played　an　important　and　perilous；　though
secret　part。　When　their　cause　was　lost　by　the　elevation　of　Napoleon；
he　took　refuge　in　the　quietude　of　the　country　and　domestic　life；
accepting　the　unmerited　accusations　that　followed　him　as　the
inevitable　reward　of　those　who　risk　all　to　win　all；　and　who　succumb
after　serving　as　pivot　to　the　political　machine。　Knowing　nothing　of
the　fortunes；　nor　of　the　past；　nor　of　the　future　of　my　family；　I　was
unaware　of　this　devoted　service　which　the　Comte　de　Mortsauf　well
remembered。　Moreover；　the　antiquity　of　our　name；　the　most　precious
quality　of　a　man　in　his　eyes；　added　to　the　warmth　of　his　greeting。　I
knew　nothing　of　these　reasons　until　later；　for　the　time　being　the
sudden　transition　to　cordiality　put　me　at　my　ease。　When　the　two
children　saw　that　we　were　all　three　fairly　engaged　in　conversation；
Madeleine　slipped　her　head　from　her　father's　hand；　glanced　at　the　open
door；　and　glided　away　like　an　eel；　Jacques　following　her。　They
rejoined　their　mother；　and　I　heard　their　voices　and　their　movements；
sounding　in　the　distance　like　the　murmur　of　bees　about　a　hive。

I　watched　the　count；　trying　to　guess　his　character；　but　I　became　so
interested　in　certain　leading　traits　that　I　got　no　further　than　a
superficial　examination　of　his　personality。　Though　he　was　only　forty…
five　years　old；　he　seemed　nearer　sixty；　so　much　had　the　great
shipwreck　at　the　close　of　the　eighteenth　century　aged　him。　The
crescent　of　hair　which　monastically　fringed　the　back　of　his　head；
otherwise　completely　bald；　ended　at　the　ears　in　little　tufts　of　gray
mingled　with　black。　His　face　bore　a　vague　resemblance　to　that　of　a
white　wolf　with　blood　about　its　muzzle；　for　his　nose　was　inflamed　and
gave　signs　of　a　life　poisoned　at　its　springs　and　vitiated　by　diseases
of　long　standing。　His　flat　forehead；　too　broad　for　the　face　beneath
it；　which　ended　in　a　point；　and　transversely　wrinkled　in　crooked
lines；　gave　signs　of　a　life　in　the　open　air；　but　not　of　any　mental
activity；　it　also　showed　the　burden　of　constant　misfortunes；　but　not
of　any　efforts　made　to　surmount　them。　His　cheekbones；　which　were　brown
and　prominent　amid　the　general　pallor　of　his　skin；　showed　a　physical
structure　which　was　likely　to　ensure　him　a　long　life。　His　hard；　light…
yellow　eye　fell　upon　mine　like　a　ray　of　wintry　sun；　bright　without
warmth；　anxious　without　thought；　distrustful　without　conscious　cause。
His　mouth　was　violent　and　domineering；　his　chin　flat　and　long。　Thin
and　very　tall；　he　had　the　bearing　of　a　gentleman　who　relies　upon　the
conventional　value　of　his　caste；　who　knows　himself　above　others　by
right；　and　beneath　them　in　fact。　The　carelessness　of　country　life　had
made　him　neglect　his　external　appearance。　His　dress　was　that　of　a
country…man　whom　peasants　and　neighbors　no　longer　considered　except
for　his　territorial　worth。　His　brown　and　wiry　hands　showed　that　he
wore　no　gloves　unless　he　mounted　a　horse；　or　went　to　church；　and　his
shoes　were　thick　and　common。

Though　ten　years　of　emigration　and　ten　years　more　of　farm…life　had
changed　his　physical　condition；　he　still　retained　certain　vestiges　of
nobility。　The　bitterest　liberal　（a　term　not　then　in　circulation）　would
readily　have　admitted　his　chivalric　loyalty　and　the　imperishable
convictions　of　one　who　puts　his　faith　to　the　〃Quotidienne〃；　he　would
have　felt　respect　for　the　man　religiously　devoted　to　a　cause；　honest
in　his　political　antipathies；　incapable　of　serving　his　party　but　very
capable　of　injuring　it；　and　without　the　slightest　real　knowledge　of
the　affairs　of　France。　The　count　was　in　fact　one　of　those　upright　men
who　are　available　for　nothing；　but　stand　obstinately　in　the　way　of
all；　ready　to　die　under　arms　at　the　post　assigned　to　them；　but
preferring　to　give　their　life　rather　than　to　give　their　money。

During　dinner　I　detected；　in　the　hanging　of　his　flaccid　cheeks　and　the
covert　glances　he　cast　now　and　then　upon　his　children；　the　traces　of
some　wearing　thought　which　showed　for　a　moment　upon　the　surface。
Watching　him；　who　could　fail　to　understand　him？　Who　would　not　have
seen　that　he　had　fatally　transmitted　to　his　children　those　weakly
bodies　in　which　the　principle　of　life　was　lacking。　But　if　he　blamed
himself　he　denied　to　others　the　right　to　judge　him。　Harsh　as　one　who
knows　himself　in　fault；　yet　without　greatness　of　soul　or　charm　to
compensate　for　the　weight　of　misery　he　had　thrown　into　the　balance；
his　private　life　was　no　doubt　the　scene　of　irascibilities　that　were
plainly　revealed　in　his　angular　features　and　by　the　incessant
restlessness　of　his　eye。　When　his　wife　returned；　followed　by　the
children　who　seemed　fastened　to　her　side；　I　felt　the　presence　of
unhappiness；　just　as　in　walking　over　the　roof　of　a　vault　the　feet
become　in　some　way　conscious　of　the　depths　below。　Seeing　these　four
human　beings　together；　holding　them　all　as　it　were　in　one　glance；
letting　my　eye　pass　from　one　to　the　other；　studying　their　countenances
and　their　respective　attitudes；　thoughts　steeped　in　sadness　fell　upon
my　heart　as　a　fine　gray　rain　dims　a　charming　landscape　after　the　sun
has　risen　clear。

When　the　immediate　subject　of　conversation　was　exhausted　the　count
told　his　wife　who　I　was；　and　related　certain　circumstances　connected
with