roughing it-第46章

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you　a　cent！〃

The　two　comrades　got　out；　and　Col。　Jack　said：

〃Jimmy；　it's　the　sociablest　place　I　ever　saw。　　The　Chinaman　waltzed　in　as
comfortable　as　anybody。　　If　we'd　staid　awhile；　I　reckon　we'd　had　some
niggers。　　B'　George；　we'll　have　to　barricade　our　doors　to…night；　or　some
of　these　ducks　will　be　trying　to　sleep　with　us。〃




CHAPTER　XLVII。

Somebody　has　said　that　in　order　to　know　a　community；　one　must　observe　the
style　of　its　funerals　and　know　what　manner　of　men　they　bury　with　most
ceremony。　　I　cannot　say　which　class　we　buried　with　most　eclat　in　our
〃flush　times；〃　the　distinguished　public　benefactor　or　the　distinguished
roughpossibly　the　two　chief　grades　or　grand　divisions　of　society
honored　their　illustrious　dead　about　equally；　and　hence；　no　doubt　the
philosopher　I　have　quoted　from　would　have　needed　to　see　two
representative　funerals　in　Virginia　before　forming　his　estimate　of　the
people。

There　was　a　grand　time　over　Buck　Fanshaw　when　he　died。　　He　was　a
representative　citizen。　　He　had　〃killed　his　man〃not　in　his　own　quarrel；
it　is　true；　but　in　defence　of　a　stranger　unfairly　beset　by　numbers。
He　had　kept　a　sumptuous　saloon。　　He　had　been　the　proprietor　of　a　dashing
helpmeet　whom　he　could　have　discarded　without　the　formality　of　a　divorce。
He　had　held　a　high　position　in　the　fire　department　and　been　a　very
Warwick　in　politics。　　When　he　died　there　was　great　lamentation　throughout
the　town；　but　especially　in　the　vast　bottom…stratum　of　society。

On　the　inquest　it　was　shown　that　Buck　Fanshaw；　in　the　delirium　of　a
wasting　typhoid　fever；　had　taken　arsenic；　shot　himself　through　the　body；
cut　his　throat；　and　jumped　out　of　a　four…story　window　and　broken　his
neckand　after　due　deliberation；　the　jury；　sad　and　tearful；　but　with
intelligence　unblinded　by　its　sorrow；　brought　in　a　verdict　of　death　〃by
the　visitation　of　God。〃　　What　could　the　world　do　without　juries？

Prodigious　preparations　were　made　for　the　funeral。　　All　the　vehicles　in
town　were　hired；　all　the　saloons　put　in　mourning；　all　the　municipal　and
fire…company　flags　hung　at　half…mast；　and　all　the　firemen　ordered　to
muster　in　uniform　and　bring　their　machines　duly　draped　in　black。　　Now
let　us　remark　in　parenthesisas　all　the　peoples　of　the　earth　had
representative　adventurers　in　the　Silverland；　and　as　each　adventurer　had
brought　the　slang　of　his　nation　or　his　locality　with　him；　the　combination
made　the　slang　of　Nevada　the　richest　and　the　most　infinitely　varied　and
copious　that　had　ever　existed　anywhere　in　the　world；　perhaps；　except　in
the　mines　of　California　in　the　〃early　days。〃　　Slang　was　the　language　of
Nevada。　　It　was　hard　to　preach　a　sermon　without　it；　and　be　understood。
Such　phrases　as　〃You　bet！〃　　〃Oh；　no；　I　reckon　not！〃　　〃No　Irish　need
apply；〃　and　a　hundred　others；　became　so　common　as　to　fall　from　the　lips
of　a　speaker　unconsciouslyand　very　often　when　they　did　not　touch　the
subject　under　discussion　and　consequently　failed　to　mean　anything。

After　Buck　Fanshaw's　inquest；　a　meeting　of　the　short…haired　brotherhood
was　held；　for　nothing　can　be　done　on　the　Pacific　coast　without　a　public
meeting　and　an　expression　of　sentiment。　　Regretful　resolutions　were
passed　and　various　committees　appointed；　among　others；　a　committee　of　one
was　deputed　to　call　on　the　minister；　a　fragile；　gentle；　spiritual　new
fledgling　from　an　Eastern　theological　seminary；　and　as　yet　unacquainted
with　the　ways　of　the　mines。　　The　committeeman；　〃Scotty〃　Briggs；　made　his
visit；　and　in　after　days　it　was　worth　something　to　hear　the　minister　tell
about　it。　　Scotty　was　a　stalwart　rough；　whose　customary　suit；　when　on
weighty　official　business；　like　committee　work；　was　a　fire　helmet；
flaming　red　flannel　shirt；　patent　leather　belt　with　spanner　and　revolver
attached；　coat　hung　over　arm；　and　pants　stuffed　into　boot　tops。
He　formed　something　of　a　contrast　to　the　pale　theological　student。　　It　is
fair　to　say　of　Scotty；　however；　in　passing；　that　he　had　a　warm　heart；　and
a　strong　love　for　his　friends；　and　never　entered　into　a　quarrel　when　he
could　reasonably　keep　out　of　it。　　Indeed；　it　was　commonly　said　that
whenever　one　of　Scotty's　fights　was　investigated；　it　always　turned　out
that　it　had　originally　been　no　affair　of　his；　but　that　out　of　native
good…heartedness　he　had　dropped　in　of　his　own　accord　to　help　the　man　who
was　getting　the　worst　of　it。　　He　and　Buck　Fanshaw　were　bosom　friends；　for
years；　and　had　often　taken　adventurous　〃pot…luck〃　together。　　On　one
occasion；　they　had　thrown　off　their　coats　and　taken　the　weaker　side　in　a
fight　among　strangers；　and　after　gaining　a　hard…earned　victory；　turned
and　found　that　the　men　they　were　helping　had　deserted　early；　and　not　only
that；　but　had　stolen　their　coats　and　made　off　with　them！　　But　to　return
to　Scotty's　visit　to　the　minister。　　He　was　on　a　sorrowful　mission；　now；
and　his　face　was　the　picture　of　woe。　　Being　admitted　to　the　presence　he
sat　down　before　the　clergyman；　placed　his　fire…hat　on　an　unfinished
manuscript　sermon　under　the　minister's　nose；　took　from　it　a　red　silk
handkerchief；　wiped　his　brow　and　heaved　a　sigh　of　dismal　impressiveness；
explanatory　of　his　business。

He　choked；　and　even　shed　tears；　but　with　an　effort　he　mastered　his　voice
and　said　in　lugubrious　tones：

〃Are　you　the　duck　that　runs　the　gospel…mill　next　door？〃

〃Am　I　thepardon　me；　I　believe　I　do　not　understand？〃

With　another　sigh　and　a　half…sob；　Scotty　rejoined：

〃Why　you　see　we　are　in　a　bit　of　trouble；　and　the　boys　thought　maybe　you
would　give　us　a　lift；　if　we'd　tackle　youthat　is；　if　I've　got　the　rights
of　it　and　you　are　the　head　clerk　of　the　doxology…works　next　door。〃

〃I　am　the　shepherd　in　charge　of　the　flock　whose　fold　is　next　door。〃

〃The　which？〃

〃The　spiritual　adviser　of　the　little　company　of　believers　whose　sanctuary
adjoins　these　premises。〃

Scotty　scratched　his　head；　reflected　a　moment；　and　then　said：

〃You　ruther　hold　over　me；　pard。　　I　reckon　I　can't　call　that　hand。　　Ante
and　pass　the　buck。〃

〃How？　I　beg　pardon。　　What　did　I　understand　you　to　say？〃

〃Well；　you've　ruther　got　the　bulge　on　me。　　Or　maybe　we've　both　got　the
bulge；　somehow。　　You　don't　smoke　me　and　I　don't　smoke　you。　　You　see；　one
of　the　boys　has　passed　in　his　checks　and　we　want　to　give　him　a　good　send…
off；　and　so　the　thing　I'm　on　now　is　to　roust　out　somebody　to　jerk　a
little　chin…music　for　us　and　waltz　him　through　handsome。〃

〃My　friend；　I　seem　to　grow　more　and　more　bewildered。　　Your　observations
are　wholly　incomprehensible　to　me。　　Cannot　you　simplify　them　in　some　way？
At　first　I　thought　perhaps　I　understood　you；　but　I　grope　now。　　Would　it
not　expedite　matters　if　you　restricted　yourself　to　categorical　statements
of　fact　unencumbered　with　obstructing　accumulations　of　metaphor　and
allegory？〃

Another　pause；　and　more　reflection。　　Then；　said　Scotty：

〃I'll　have　to　pass；　I　judge。〃

〃How？〃

〃You've　raised　me　out；　pard。〃

〃I　still　fail　to　catch　your　meaning。〃

〃Why；　that　last　lead　of　yourn　is　too　many　for　methat's　the　idea。　　I
can't　neither…trump　nor　follow　suit。〃

The　clergyman　sank　back　in　his　chair　perplexed。　　Scotty　leaned　his　head
on　his　hand　and　gave　himself　up　to　thought。

Presently　his　face　came　up；　sorrowful　but　confident。

〃I've　got　it　now；　so's　you　can　savvy；〃　he　said。　　〃What　we　want　is　a
gospel…sharp。　　See？〃

〃A　what？〃

〃Gospel…sharp。　　Parson。〃

〃Oh！　　Why　did　you　not　say　so　before？　　I　am　a　clergymana　parson。〃

〃Now　you　talk！　　You　see　my　blind　and　straddle　it　like　a　man。　　Put　it
there！〃extending　a　brawny　paw；　which　closed　over　the　minister's　small
hand　and　gave　it　a　shake　indicative　of　fraternal　sympathy　and　fervent
gratification。

〃Now　we're　all　right；　pard。　　Let's　start　fresh。　　Don't　you　mind　my
snuffling　a　littlebecuz　we're　in　a　power　of　trouble。　　You　see；　one　of
the　boys　has　gone　up　the　flume〃

〃Gone　where？〃

〃Up　the　flumethrowed　up　the　sponge；　you　understand。〃

〃Thrown　up　the　sponge？〃

〃Yeskicked　the　bucket〃

〃Ahhas　departed　to　that　mysterious　country　from　whose　bourne　no
traveler　returns。〃

〃Return！　　I　reckon　not。　　Why　pard；　he's　dead！〃

〃Yes；　I　understand。〃

〃Oh；　you　do？　　Well　I　thought　maybe　you　might　be　getting　tangled　some
more。　　Yes；　you　see　he's　dead　again〃

〃Again？　　Why；　has　he　ever　been　dead　before？〃

〃Dead　before？　　No！　　Do　you　reckon　a　man　has　got　as　many　lives　as　a　cat？
But　you　bet　you　he's　awful　dead　now；　poor　old　boy；　and　I　wish　I'd　never
seen　this　day。　　I　don't　want　no　better　friend　than　Buck　Fanshaw。
I　knowed　him　by　the　back；　and　when　I　know　a　man　and　like　him；　I　freeze　to
himyou　hear　me。　　Take　him　all　round；　pard；　there　never　was　a　bullier
man　in　the　mines。　　No　man　ever　knowed　Buck　Fanshaw　to　go　back　on　a
friend。　　But　it's　all　up；　you　know；　it's　all　up。　　It　ain't　no　use。
They've　scooped　him。〃

〃Scooped　him？〃

〃Yesdeath　has。　　Well；　well；　well；　we've　got　to　give　him　up。　　Yes
indeed。　　It's　a　kind　of　a　hard　world；　after　all；　ain't　it？　　But　pard；　he
was　a　rustler！　　You　ought　to　seen　him　get　started　once。　　He　was　a　bully
boy　with　a　glass　eye！　　Just　spit　in　his　face　and　give　him　room　according
to　his　strength；　and　it　was　just　beautiful　to　see　him　peel　and　go　in。
He　was　the　worst　son　of　a　thief　that　ever　drawed　breath。　　Pard；　he　was　on
it！　　He　was　on　it　bigger　than　an　Injun！〃

〃On　it？　　On　what？〃

〃On　the　shoot。　　On　the　shoulder。　　On　the　fight；　you　understand。
He　didn't　give　a　continental　for　any　body。　　Beg　your　pardon；　friend；　for
coming　so　near　saying　a　cuss…wordbut　you　see　I'm　on　an　awful　strain；　in
this　palaver；　on　account　of　having　to　cramp　down　and　draw　everything　so
mild。　　But　we've　got　to　give　him　up。　　There　ain't　any　getting　around
that；　I　don't　reckon。　　Now　if　we　can　get　you　to　help　plant　him〃

〃Preach　the　funeral　discourse？　　Assist　at　the　obsequies？〃

〃Obs'quies　is　good。　　Yes。　　That's　itthat's　our　little　game。　　We　are
going　to　get　the　thing　up　regardless；　you　know。　　He　was　always　nifty
himself；　and　so　you　bet　you　his　funeral　ain't　going　to　be　no　slouch
solid　silver　door…plate　on　his　coffin；　six　plumes　on　the　hearse；　and　a
nigger　on　the　box　in　a　biled　shirt　and　a　plug　hathow's　that　for　high？
And　we'll　take　care　of　you；　pard。　　We'll　fix　you　all　right。　　There'll　be
a　kerridge　for　you；　and　whatever　you　want；　you　just　'scape　out　and　we'll
'tend　to　it。　　We've　got　a　shebang　fixed　up　for　you　to　stand　behind；　in
No。　1's　house；　and　don't　you　be　afraid。　　Just　go　in　and　toot　your　horn；
if　you　don't　sell　a　clam。　　Put　Buck　through　as　bully　as　you　can；　pard；
for　anybody　that　knowed　him　will　tell　you　that　he　was　one　of　the　whitest
men　that　was　ever　in　the　mines。　　You　can't　draw　it　too　strong。　　He　never
could　stand　it　to　see　things　going　wrong。　　He's　done　more　to　make　this
town　quiet　and　peaceable　than　any　man　in　it。　　I've　seen　him　lick　four
Greasers　in　eleven　minutes；　myself。　　If　a　thing　wanted　regulating；　he
warn't　a　man　to　go　browsing　around　after　somebody　to　do　it；　but　he　would
prance　in　and　regulate　it　himself。　　He　warn't　a　Catholic。　　Scasely。　　He
was　down　on　'em。　　His　word　was；　'No　Irish　need　apply！'　　But　it　didn't
make　no　difference　about　that　when　it　came　down　to　what　a　man's　rights
wasand　so；　when　some　roughs　jumped　the　Catholic　bone…yard　and　started
in　to　stake　out　town…lots　in　it　he　went　for　'em！　　And　he　cleaned　'em；