roughing it-第5章

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and　pistols　where　we　could　find　them　in　the　dark。　　Then　we　smoked　a　final
pipe；　and　swapped　a　final　yarn；　after　which；　we　put　the　pipes；　tobacco
and　bag　of　coin　in　snug　holes　and　caves　among　the　mail…bags；　and　then
fastened　down　the　coach　curtains　all　around；　and　made　the　place　as　〃dark
as　the　inside　of　a　cow；〃　as　the　conductor　phrased　it　in　his　picturesque
way。　　It　was　certainly　as　dark　as　any　place　could　benothing　was　even
dimly　visible　in　it。　　And　finally；　we　rolled　ourselves　up　like　silk…
worms；　each　person　in　his　own　blanket；　and　sank　peacefully　to　sleep。

Whenever　the　stage　stopped　to　change　horses；　we　would　wake　up；　and　try　to
recollect　where　we　wereand　succeedand　in　a　minute　or　two　the　stage
would　be　off　again；　and　we　likewise。　　We　began　to　get　into　country；　now；
threaded　here　and　there　with　little　streams。　　These　had　high；　steep　banks
on　each　side；　and　every　time　we　flew　down　one　bank　and　scrambled　up　the
other；　our　party　inside　got　mixed　somewhat。　　First　we　would　all　be　down
in　a　pile　at　the　forward　end　of　the　stage；　nearly　in　a　sitting　posture；
and　in　a　second　we　would　shoot　to　the　other　end；　and　stand　on　our　heads。
And　we　would　sprawl　and　kick；　too；　and　ward　off　ends　and　corners　of　mail…
bags　that　came　lumbering　over　us　and　about　us；　and　as　the　dust　rose　from
the　tumult；　we　would　all　sneeze　in　chorus；　and　the　majority　of　us　would
grumble；　and　probably　say　some　hasty　thing；　like：　〃Take　your　elbow　out　of
my　ribs！can't　you　quit　crowding？〃

Every　time　we　avalanched　from　one　end　of　the　stage　to　the　other；　the
Unabridged　Dictionary　would　come　too；　and　every　time　it　came　it　damaged
somebody。　　One　trip　it　〃barked〃　the　Secretary's　elbow；　the　next　trip　it
hurt　me　in　the　stomach；　and　the　third　it　tilted　Bemis's　nose　up　till　he
could　look　down　his　nostrilshe　said。　　The　pistols　and　coin　soon　settled
to　the　bottom；　but　the　pipes；　pipe…stems；　tobacco　and　canteens　clattered
and　floundered　after　the　Dictionary　every　time　it　made　an　assault　on　us；
and　aided　and　abetted　the　book　by　spilling　tobacco　in　our　eyes；　and　water
down　our　backs。

Still；　all　things　considered；　it　was　a　very　comfortable　night。　　It　wore
gradually　away；　and　when　at　last　a　cold　gray　light　was　visible　through
the　puckers　and　chinks　in　the　curtains；　we　yawned　and　stretched　with
satisfaction；　shed　our　cocoons；　and　felt　that　we　had　slept　as　much　as　was
necessary。　　By　and　by；　as　the　sun　rose　up　and　warmed　the　world；　we　pulled
off　our　clothes　and　got　ready　for　breakfast。　　We　were　just　pleasantly　in
time；　for　five　minutes　afterward　the　driver　sent　the　weird　music　of　his
bugle　winding　over　the　grassy　solitudes；　and　presently　we　detected　a　low
hut　or　two　in　the　distance。　　Then　the　rattling　of　the　coach；　the　clatter
of　our　six　horses'　hoofs；　and　the　driver's　crisp　commands；　awoke　to　a
louder　and　stronger　emphasis；　and　we　went　sweeping　down　on　the　station　at
our　smartest　speed。　　It　was　fascinatingthat　old　overland　stagecoaching。

We　jumped　out　in　undress　uniform。　　The　driver　tossed　his　gathered　reins
out　on　the　ground；　gaped　and　stretched　complacently；　drew　off　his　heavy
buckskin　gloves　with　great　deliberation　and　insufferable　dignitytaking
not　the　slightest　notice　of　a　dozen　solicitous　inquires　after　his　health；
and　humbly　facetious　and　flattering　accostings；　and　obsequious　tenders　of
service；　from　five　or　six　hairy　and　half…civilized　station…keepers　and
hostlers　who　were　nimbly　unhitching　our　steeds　and　bringing　the　fresh
team　out　of　the　stablesfor　in　the　eyes　of　the　stage…driver　of　that　day；
station…keepers　and　hostlers　were　a　sort　of　good　enough　low　creatures；
useful　in　their　place；　and　helping　to　make　up　a　world；　but　not　the　kind
of　beings　which　a　person　of　distinction　could　afford　to　concern　himself
with；　while；　on　the　contrary；　in　the　eyes　of　the　station…keeper　and　the
hostler；　the　stage…driver　was　a　heroa　great　and　shining　dignitary；　the
world's　favorite　son；　the　envy　of　the　people；　the　observed　of　the
nations。　　When　they　spoke　to　him　they　received　his　insolent　silence
meekly；　and　as　being　the　natural　and　proper　conduct　of　so　great　a　man；
when　he　opened　his　lips　they　all　hung　on　his　words　with　admiration　（he
never　honored　a　particular　individual　with　a　remark；　but　addressed　it
with　a　broad　generality　to　the　horses；　the　stables；　the　surrounding
country　and　the　human　underlings）；　when　he　discharged　a　facetious
insulting　personality　at　a　hostler；　that　hostler　was　happy　for　the　day；
when　he　uttered　his　one　jestold　as　the　hills；　coarse；　profane；　witless；
and　inflicted　on　the　same　audience；　in　the　same　language；　every　time　his
coach　drove　up　therethe　varlets　roared；　and　slapped　their　thighs；　and
swore　it　was　the　best　thing　they'd　ever　heard　in　all　their　lives。　　And
how　they　would　fly　around　when　he　wanted　a　basin　of　water；　a　gourd　of　the
same；　or　a　light　for　his　pipe！but　they　would　instantly　insult　a
passenger　if　he　so　far　forgot　himself　as　to　crave　a　favor　at　their　hands。
They　could　do　that　sort　of　insolence　as　well　as　the　driver　they　copied　it
fromfor；　let　it　be　borne　in　mind；　the　overland　driver　had　but　little
less　contempt　for　his　passengers　than　he　had　for　his　hostlers。

The　hostlers　and　station…keepers　treated　the　really　powerful　conductor　of
the　coach　merely　with　the　best　of　what　was　their　idea　of　civility；　but
the　driver　was　the　only　being　they　bowed　down　to　and　worshipped。　　How
admiringly　they　would　gaze　up　at　him　in　his　high　seat　as　he　gloved
himself　with　lingering　deliberation；　while　some　happy　hostler　held　the
bunch　of　reins　aloft；　and　waited　patiently　for　him　to　take　it！　　And　how
they　would　bombard　him　with　glorifying　ejaculations　as　he　cracked　his
long　whip　and　went　careering　away。

The　station　buildings　were　long；　low　huts；　made　of　sundried；　mud…colored
bricks；　laid　up　without　mortar　（adobes；　the　Spaniards　call　these　bricks；
and　Americans　shorten　it　to　'dobies）。　　The　roofs；　which　had　no　slant　to
them　worth　speaking　of；　were　thatched　and　then　sodded　or　covered　with　a
thick　layer　of　earth；　and　from　this　sprung　a　pretty　rank　growth　of　weeds
and　grass。　　It　was　the　first　time　we　had　ever　seen　a　man's　front　yard　on
top　of　his　house。　　The　building　consisted　of　barns；　stable…room　for
twelve　or　fifteen　horses；　and　a　hut　for　an　eating…room　for　passengers。
This　latter　had　bunks　in　it　for　the　station…keeper　and　a　hostler　or　two。
You　could　rest　your　elbow　on　its　eaves；　and　you　had　to　bend　in　order　to
get　in　at　the　door。　　In　place　of　a　window　there　was　a　square　hole　about
large　enough　for　a　man　to　crawl　through；　but　this　had　no　glass　in　it。
There　was　no　flooring；　but　the　ground　was　packed　hard。　　There　was　no
stove；　but　the　fire…place　served　all　needful　purposes。　　There　were　no
shelves；　no　cupboards；　no　closets。　　In　a　corner　stood　an　open　sack　of
flour；　and　nestling　against　its　base　were　a　couple　of　black　and　venerable
tin　coffee…pots；　a　tin　teapot；　a　little　bag　of　salt；　and　a　side　of　bacon。


By　the　door　of　the　station…keeper's　den；　outside；　was　a　tin　wash…basin；
on　the　ground。　　Near　it　was　a　pail　of　water　and　a　piece　of　yellow　bar
soap；　and　from　the　eaves　hung　a　hoary　blue　woolen　shirt；　significantly
but　this　latter　was　the　station…keeper's　private　towel；　and　only　two
persons　in　all　the　party　might　venture　to　use　itthe　stage…driver　and
the　conductor。　　The　latter　would　not；　from　a　sense　of　decency；　the　former
would　not；　because　did　not　choose　to　encourage　the　advances　of　a　station…
keeper。　　We　had　towelsin　the　valise；　they　might　as　well　have　been　in
Sodom　and　Gomorrah。　　We　（and　the　conductor）　used　our　handkerchiefs；　and
the　driver　his　pantaloons　and　sleeves。　　By　the　door；　inside；　was　fastened
a　small　old…fashioned　looking…glass　frame；　with　two　little　fragments　of
the　original　mirror　lodged　down　in　one　corner　of　it。　　This　arrangement
afforded　a　pleasant　double…barreled　portrait　of　you　when　you　looked　into
it；　with　one　half　of　your　head　set　up　a　couple　of　inches　above　the　other
half。　　From　the　glass　frame　hung　the　half　of　a　comb　by　a　stringbut　if　I
had　to　describe　that　patriarch　or　die；　I　believe　I　would　order　some
sample　coffins。

It　had　come　down　from　Esau　and　Samson；　and　had　been　accumulating　hair
ever　sincealong　with　certain　impurities。　　In　one　corner　of　the　room
stood　three　or　four　rifles　and　muskets；　together　with　horns　and　pouches
of　ammunition。　　The　station…men　wore　pantaloons　of　coarse；　country…woven
stuff；　and　into　the　seat　and　the　inside　of　the　legs　were　sewed　ample
additions　of　buckskin；　to　do　duty　in　place　of　leggings；　when　the　man　rode
horsebackso　the　pants　were　half　dull　blue　and　half　yellow；　and
unspeakably　picturesque。　　The　pants　were　stuffed　into　the　tops　of　high
boots；　the　heels　whereof　were　armed　with　great　Spanish　spurs；　whose
little　iron　clogs　and　chains　jingled　with　every　step。　　The　man　wore　a
huge　beard　and　mustachios；　an　old　slouch　hat；　a　blue　woolen　shirt；　no
suspenders；　no　vest；　no　coatin　a　leathern　sheath　in　his　belt；　a　great
long　〃navy〃　revolver　（slung　on　right　side；　hammer　to　the　front）；　and
projecting　from　his　boot　a　horn…handled　bowie…knife。　　The　furniture　of
the　hut　was　neither　gorgeous　nor　much　in　the　way。　　The　rocking…chairs　and
sofas　were　not　present；　and　never　had　been；　but　they　were　represented　by
two　three…legged　stools；　a　pine…board　bench　four　feet　long；　and　two　empty
candle…boxes。　　The　table　was　a　greasy　board　on　stilts；　and　the　table…
cloth　and　napkins　had　not　comeand　they　were　not　looking　for　them；
either。　　A　battered　tin　platter；　a　knife　and　fork；　and　a　tin　pint　cup；
were　at　each　man's　place；　and　the　driver　had　a　queens…ware　saucer　that
had　seen　better　days。　　Of　course　this　duke　sat　at　the　head　of　the　table。
There　was　one　isolated　piece　of　table　furniture　that　bore　about　it　a
touching　air　of　grandeur　in　misfortune。　　This　was　the　caster。　　It　was
German　silver；　and　crippled　and　rusty；　but　it　was　so　preposterously　out
of　place　there　that　it　was　suggestive　of　a　tattered　exiled　king　among
barbarians；　and　the　majesty　of　its　native　position　compelled　respect　even
in　its　degradation。

There　was　only　one　cruet　left；　and　that　was　a　stopperless；　fly…specked；
broken…necked　thing；　with　two　inches　of　vinegar　in　it；　and　a　dozen
preserved　flies　with　their　heels　up　and　looking　sorry　they　had　invested
there。

The　station…keeper　upended　a　disk　of　last　week's　bread；　of　the　shape　and
size　of　an　old…time　cheese；　and　carved　some　slabs　from　it　which　were　as
good　as　Nicholson　pavement；　and　tenderer。

He　sliced　off　a　piece　of　bacon　for　each　man；　but　only　the　experienced　old
hands　made　out　to　eat　it；　for　it　was　condemned　army　bacon　which　the
United　States　would　not　feed　to　its　soldiers　in　the　forts；　and　the　stage
company　had　bought　it　cheap　for　the　sustenance　of　their　passengers　and
employees。　　We　may　have　found　this　condemned　army　bacon　further　out　on
the　plains　than　the　section　I　am　locating　it　in；　but　we　found　itthere
is　no　gainsaying　that。

Then　he　poured　for　us　a　beverage　which　he　called　〃Slum　gullion；〃　and　it
is　hard　to　think　he　was　not　inspired　when　he　named　it。　　It　really
pretended　to　be　tea；　but　there　was　too　much　dish…rag；　and　sand；　and　old
bacon…rind　in　it　to　deceive　the　intelligent　traveler。

He　had　no　sugar　and　no　milknot　even　a　spoon　to　stir　the　ingredients
with。

We　could　not　eat　the　bre