roughing it-第59章

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the　cabin　and　get　a　sight　of　the　splendid　new　sensationa　genuine；　live
Woman！　　And　at　the　end　of　half　of　an　hour　my　turn　came；　and　I　put　my　eye
to　the　crack；　and　there　she　was；　with　one　arm　akimbo；　and　tossing　flap…
jacks　in　a　frying…pan　with　the　other。

And　she　was　one　hundred　and　sixty…five　＇Being　in　calmer　mood；　now；　I
voluntarily　knock　off　a　hundred　from　that。M。T。＇　years　old；　and　hadn't　a
tooth　in　her　head。




CHAPTER　LVIII。

For　a　few　months　I　enjoyed　what　to　me　was　an　entirely　new　phase　of
existencea　butterfly　idleness；　nothing　to　do；　nobody　to　be　responsible
to；　and　untroubled　with　financial　uneasiness。　　I　fell　in　love　with　the
most　cordial　and　sociable　city　in　the　Union。　　After　the　sage…brush　and
alkali　deserts　of　Washoe；　San　Francisco　was　Paradise　to　me。　　I　lived　at
the　best　hotel；　exhibited　my　clothes　in　the　most　conspicuous　places；
infested　the　opera；　and　learned　to　seem　enraptured　with　music　which
oftener　afflicted　my　ignorant　ear　than　enchanted　it；　if　I　had　had　the
vulgar　honesty　to　confess　it。　　However；　I　suppose　I　was　not　greatly　worse
than　the　most　of　my　countrymen　in　that。　　I　had　longed　to　be　a　butterfly；
and　I　was　one　at　last。　　I　attended　private　parties　in　sumptuous　evening
dress；　simpered　and　aired　my　graces　like　a　born　beau；　and　polkad　and
schottisched　with　a　step　peculiar　to　myselfand　the　kangaroo。　　In　a
word；　I　kept　the　due　state　of　a　man　worth　a　hundred　thousand　dollars
（prospectively；）　and　likely　to　reach　absolute　affluence　when　that　silver…
mine　sale　should　be　ultimately　achieved　in　the　East。　　I　spent　money　with
a　free　hand；　and　meantime　watched　the　stock　sales　with　an　interested　eye
and　looked　to　see　what　might　happen　in　Nevada。

Something　very　important　happened。　　The　property　holders　of　Nevada　voted
against　the　State　Constitution；　but　the　folks　who　had　nothing　to　lose
were　in　the　majority；　and　carried　the　measure　over　their　heads。　　But
after　all　it　did　not　immediately　look　like　a　disaster；　though
unquestionably　it　was　one　I　hesitated；　calculated　the　chances；　and　then
concluded　not　to　sell。　　Stocks　went　on　rising；　speculation　went　mad；
bankers；　merchants；　lawyers；　doctors；　mechanics；　laborers；　even　the　very
washerwomen　and　servant　girls；　were　putting　up　their　earnings　on　silver
stocks；　and　every　sun　that　rose　in　the　morning　went　down　on　paupers
enriched　and　rich　men　beggared。　　What　a　gambling　carnival　it　was！　　Gould
and　Curry　soared　to　six　thousand　three　hundred　dollars　a　foot！　　And　then
all　of　a　sudden；　out　went　the　bottom　and　everything　and　everybody　went
to　ruin　and　destruction！　　The　wreck　was　complete。

The　bubble　scarcely　left　a　microscopic　moisture　behind　it。　　I　was　an
early　beggar　and　a　thorough　one。　　My　hoarded　stocks　were　not　worth　the
paper　they　were　printed　on。　　I　threw　them　all　away。　　I；　the　cheerful
idiot　that　had　been　squandering　money　like　water；　and　thought　myself
beyond　the　reach　of　misfortune；　had　not　now　as　much　as　fifty　dollars　when
I　gathered　together　my　various　debts　and　paid　them。　　I　removed　from　the
hotel　to　a　very　private　boarding　house。　　I　took　a　reporter's　berth　and
went　to　work。　　I　was　not　entirely　broken　in　spirit；　for　I　was　building
confidently　on　the　sale　of　the　silver　mine　in　the　east。　　But　I　could　not
hear　from　Dan。　　My　letters　miscarried　or　were　not　answered。

One　day　I　did　not　feel　vigorous　and　remained　away　from　the　office。　　The
next　day　I　went　down　toward　noon　as　usual；　and　found　a　note　on　my　desk
which　had　been　there　twenty…four　hours。　　It　was　signed　〃Marshall〃the
Virginia　reporterand　contained　a　request　that　I　should　call　at　the
hotel　and　see　him　and　a　friend　or　two　that　night；　as　they　would　sail　for
the　east　in　the　morning。　　A　postscript　added　that　their　errand　was　a　big
mining　speculation！　　I　was　hardly　ever　so　sick　in　my　life。　　I　abused
myself　for　leaving　Virginia　and　entrusting　to　another　man　a　matter　I
ought　to　have　attended　to　myself；　I　abused　myself　for　remaining　away　from
the　office　on　the　one　day　of　all　the　year　that　I　should　have　been　there。
And　thus　berating　myself　I　trotted　a　mile　to　the　steamer　wharf　and
arrived　just　in　time　to　be　too　late。　　The　ship　was　in　the　stream　and
under　way。

I　comforted　myself　with　the　thought　that　may　be　the　speculation　would
amount　to　nothingpoor　comfort　at　bestand　then　went　back　to　my
slavery；　resolved　to　put　up　with　my　thirty…five　dollars　a　week　and　forget
all　about　it。

A　month　afterward　I　enjoyed　my　first　earthquake。　　It　was　one　which　was
long　called　the　〃great〃　earthquake；　and　is　doubtless　so　distinguished
till　this　day。　　It　was　just　after　noon；　on　a　bright　October　day。　　I　was
coming　down　Third　street。　　The　only　objects　in　motion　anywhere　in　sight
in　that　thickly　built　and　populous　quarter；　were　a　man　in　a　buggy　behind
me；　and　a　street　car　wending　slowly　up　the　cross　street。　　Otherwise；　all
was　solitude　and　a　Sabbath　stillness。　　As　I　turned　the　corner；　around　a
frame　house；　there　was　a　great　rattle　and　jar；　and　it　occurred　to　me　that
here　was　an　item！no　doubt　a　fight　in　that　house。　　Before　I　could　turn
and　seek　the　door；　there　came　a　really　terrific　shock；　the　ground　seemed
to　roll　under　me　in　waves；　interrupted　by　a　violent　joggling　up　and　down；
and　there　was　a　heavy　grinding　noise　as　of　brick　houses　rubbing　together。
I　fell　up　against　the　frame　house　and　hurt　my　elbow。　　I　knew　what　it　was；
now；　and　from　mere　reportorial　instinct；　nothing　else；　took　out　my　watch
and　noted　the　time　of　day；　at　that　moment　a　third　and　still　severer　shock
came；　and　as　I　reeled　about　on　the　pavement　trying　to　keep　my　footing；
I　saw　a　sight！　　The　entire　front　of　a　tall　four…story　brick　building　in
Third　street　sprung　outward　like　a　door　and　fell　sprawling　across　the
street；　raising　a　dust　like　a　great　volume　of　smoke！　　And　here　came　the
buggyoverboard　went　the　man；　and　in　less　time　than　I　can　tell　it　the
vehicle　was　distributed　in　small　fragments　along　three　hundred　yards　of
street。

One　could　have　fancied　that　somebody　had　fired　a　charge　of　chair…rounds
and　rags　down　the　thoroughfare。　　The　street　car　had　stopped；　the　horses
were　rearing　and　plunging；　the　passengers　were　pouring　out　at　both　ends；
and　one　fat　man　had　crashed　half　way　through　a　glass　window　on　one　side
of　the　car；　got　wedged　fast　and　was　squirming　and　screaming　like　an
impaled　madman。　　Every　door；　of　every　house；　as　far　as　the　eye　could
reach；　was　vomiting　a　stream　of　human　beings；　and　almost　before　one　could
execute　a　wink　and　begin　another；　there　was　a　massed　multitude　of　people
stretching　in　endless　procession　down　every　street　my　position　commanded。
Never　was　solemn　solitude　turned　into　teeming　life　quicker。

Of　the　wonders　wrought　by　〃the　great　earthquake；〃　these　were　all　that
came　under　my　eye；　but　the　tricks　it　did；　elsewhere；　and　far　and　wide
over　the　town；　made　toothsome　gossip　for　nine　days。

The　destruction　of　property　was　triflingthe　injury　to　it　was　wide…
spread　and　somewhat　serious。

The　〃curiosities〃　of　the　earthquake　were　simply　endless。　　Gentlemen　and
ladies　who　were　sick；　or　were　taking　a　siesta；　or　had　dissipated　till　a
late　hour　and　were　making　up　lost　sleep；　thronged　into　the　public　streets
in　all　sorts　of　queer　apparel；　and　some　without　any　at　all。　　One　woman
who　had　been　washing　a　naked　child；　ran　down　the　street　holding　it　by　the
ankles　as　if　it　were　a　dressed　turkey。　　Prominent　citizens　who　were
supposed　to　keep　the　Sabbath　strictly；　rushed　out　of　saloons　in　their
shirt…sleeves；　with　billiard　cues　in　their　hands。　　Dozens　of　men　with
necks　swathed　in　napkins；　rushed　from　barber…shops；　lathered　to　the　eyes
or　with　one　cheek　clean　shaved　and　the　other　still　bearing　a　hairy
stubble。　　Horses　broke　from　stables；　and　a　frightened　dog　rushed　up　a
short　attic　ladder　and　out　on　to　a　roof；　and　when　his　scare　was　over　had
not　the　nerve　to　go　down　again　the　same　way　he　had　gone　up。

A　prominent　editor　flew　down　stairs；　in　the　principal　hotel；　with　nothing
on　but　one　brief　undergarmentmet　a　chambermaid；　and　exclaimed：

〃Oh；　what　shall　I　do！　　Where　shall　I　go！〃

She　responded　with　naive　serenity：

〃If　you　have　no　choice；　you　might　try　a　clothing…store！〃

A　certain　foreign　consul's　lady　was　the　acknowledged　leader　of　fashion；
and　every　time　she　appeared　in　anything　new　or　extraordinary；　the　ladies
in　the　vicinity　made　a　raid　on　their　husbands'　purses　and　arrayed
themselves　similarly。　　One　man　who　had　suffered　considerably　and　growled
accordingly；　was　standing　at　the　window　when　the　shocks　came；　and　the
next　instant　the　consul's　wife；　just　out　of　the　bath；　fled　by　with　no
other　apology　for　clothing　thana　bath…towel！　　The　sufferer　rose
superior　to　the　terrors　of　the　earthquake；　and　said　to　his　wife：

〃Now　that　is　something　like！　　Get　out　your　towel　my　dear！〃

The　plastering　that　fell　from　ceilings　in　San　Francisco　that　day；　would
have　covered　several　acres　of　ground。　　For　some　days　afterward；　groups　of
eyeing　and　pointing　men　stood　about　many　a　building；　looking　at　long　zig…
zag　cracks　that　extended　from　the　eaves　to　the　ground。　　Four　feet　of　the
tops　of　three　chimneys　on　one　house　were　broken　square　off　and　turned
around　in　such　a　way　as　to　completely　stop　the　draft。

A　crack　a　hundred　feet　long　gaped　open　six　inches　wide　in　the　middle　of
one　street　and　then　shut　together　again　with　such　force；　as　to　ridge　up
the　meeting　earth　like　a　slender　grave。　　A　lady　sitting　in　her　rocking
and　quaking　parlor；　saw　the　wall　part　at　the　ceiling；　open　and　shut
twice；　like　a　mouth；　and　then…drop　the　end　of　a　brick　on　the　floor　like　a
tooth。　　She　was　a　woman　easily　disgusted　with　foolishness；　and　she　arose
and　went　out　of　there。　　One　lady　who　was　coming　down　stairs　was
astonished　to　see　a　bronze　Hercules　lean　forward　on　its　pedestal　as　if　to
strike　her　with　its　club。　　They　both　reached　the　bottom　of　the　flight　at
the　same　time；the　woman　insensible　from　the　fright。　　Her　child；　born
some　little　time　afterward；　was　club…footed。　　Howeveron　second
thought；if　the　reader　sees　any　coincidence　in　this；　he　must　do　it　at
his　own　risk。

The　first　shock　brought　down　two　or　three　huge　organ…pipes　in　one　of　the
churches。　　The　minister；　with　uplifted　hands；　was　just　closing　the
services。　　He　glanced　up；　hesitated；　and　said：

〃However；　we　will　omit　the　benediction！〃and　the　next　instant　there　was
a　vacancy　in　the　atmosphere　where　he　had　stood。

After　the　first　shock；　an　Oakland　minister　said：

〃Keep　your　seats！　　There　is　no　better　place　to　die　than　this〃

And　added；　after　the　third：

〃But　outside　is　good　enough！〃　　He　then　skipped　out　at　the　back　door。

Such　another　destruction　of　mantel　ornaments　and　toilet　bottles　as　the
earthquake　created；　San　Francisco　never　saw　before。　　There　was　hardly　a
girl　or　a　matron　in　the　city　but　suffered　losses　of　this　kind。　　Suspended
pictures　were　thrown　down；　but　oftener　still；　by　a　curious　freak　of　the
earthquake's　humor；　they　were　whirled　completely　around　with　their　faces
to　the　wall！　　There　was　great　difference　of　opinion；　at　first；　as　to　the
course　or　direction　the　earthquake　traveled；　but　water　that　splashed　out
of　various　tanks　and　buckets　settled　that。　　Thousands　of　people　were　made
so　sea…sick　by　the　rolling　and　pitching　of　floors　and　streets　that　they
were　weak　and　bed…ridden　for　ho