roughing it-第68章

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Major　General　in　the　household　troops；　no　doubt？　　Minister　of　the
Interior；　likely？　　Secretary　of　war？　　First　Gentleman　of　the　Bed…chamber？
Commissioner　of　the　Royal〃

〃Stuff！　　I'm　no　official。　　I'm　not　connected　in　any　way　with　the
Government。〃

〃Bless　my　life！　　Then；　who　the　mischief　are　you？　　what　the　mischief　are
you？　　and　how　the　mischief　did　you　get　here；　and　where　in　thunder　did　you
come　from？〃

〃I'm　only　a　private　personagean　unassuming　strangerlately　arrived
from　America。〃

〃No？　　Not　a　missionary！　　Not　a　whaler！　　not　a　member　of　his　Majesty's
Government！　　not　even　Secretary　of　the　Navy！　　Ah；　Heaven！　　it　is　too
blissful　to　be　true；　alas；　I　do　but　dream。　　And　yet　that　noble；　honest
countenancethose　oblique；　ingenuous　eyesthat　massive　head；　incapable
ofofanything；　your　hand；　give　me　your　hand；　bright　waif。　　Excuse
these　tears。　　For　sixteen　weary　years　I　have　yearned　for　a　moment　like
this；　and〃

Here　his　feelings　were　too　much　for　him；　and　he　swooned　away。　　I　pitied
this　poor　creature　from　the　bottom　of　my　heart。　　I　was　deeply　moved。　　I
shed　a　few　tears　on　him　and　kissed　him　for　his　mother。　　I　then　took　what
small　change　he　had　and　〃shoved〃。




CHAPTER　LXVII。

I　still　quote　from　my　journal：

I　found　the　national　Legislature　to　consist　of　half　a　dozen　white　men　and
some　thirty　or　forty　natives。　　It　was　a　dark　assemblage。　　The　nobles　and
Ministers　（about　a　dozen　of　them　altogether）　occupied　the　extreme　left　of
the　hall；　with　David　Kalakaua　（the　King's　Chamberlain）　and　Prince　William
at　the　head。　　The　President　of　the　Assembly；　His　Royal　Highness　M。
Kekuanaoa；　＇Kekuanaoa　is　not　of　the　blood　royal。　　He　derives　his　princely
rank　from　his　wife；　who　was　a　daughter　of　Kamehameha　the　Great。　　Under
other　monarchies　the　male　line　takes　precedence　of　the　female　in　tracing
genealogies；　but　here　the　opposite　is　the　casethe　female　line　takes
precedence。　　Their　reason　for　this　is　exceedingly　sensible；　and　I
recommend　it　to　the　aristocracy　of　Europe：　They　say　it　is　easy　to　know
who　a　man's　mother　was；　but；　etc。；　etc。＇　and　the　Vice　President　（the
latter　a　white　man；）　sat　in　the　pulpit；　if　I　may　so　term　it。
The　President　is　the　King's　father。　　He　is　an　erect；　strongly　built；
massive　featured；　white…haired；　tawny　old　gentleman　of　eighty　years　of
age　or　thereabouts。　　He　was　simply　but　well　dressed；　in　a　blue　cloth　coat
and　white　vest；　and　white　pantaloons；　without　spot；　dust　or　blemish　upon
them。　　He　bears　himself　with　a　calm；　stately　dignity；　and　is　a　man　of
noble　presence。　　He　was　a　young　man　and　a　distinguished　warrior　under
that　terrific　fighter；　Kamehameha　I。；　more　than　half　a　century　ago。　　A
knowledge　of　his　career　suggested　some　such　thought　as　this：　〃This　man；
naked　as　the　day　he　was　born；　and　war…club　and　spear　in　hand；　has　charged
at　the　head　of　a　horde　of　savages　against　other　hordes　of　savages　more
than　a　generation　and　a　half　ago；　and　reveled　in　slaughter　and　carnage；
has　worshipped　wooden　images　on　his　devout　knees；　has　seen　hundreds　of
his　race　offered　up　in　heathen　temples　as　sacrifices　to　wooden　idols；　at
a　time　when　no　missionary's　foot　had　ever　pressed　this　soil；　and　he　had
never　heard　of　the　white　man's　God；　has　believed　his　enemy　could　secretly
pray　him　to　death；　has　seen　the　day；　in　his　childhood；　when　it　was　a
crime　punishable　by　death　for　a　man　to　eat　with　his　wife；　or　for　a
plebeian　to　let　his　shadow　fall　upon　the　Kingand　now　look　at　him；　an
educated　Christian；　neatly　and　handsomely　dressed；　a　high…minded；　elegant
gentleman；　a　traveler；　in　some　degree；　and　one　who　has　been　the　honored
guest　of　royalty　in　Europe；　a　man　practiced　in　holding　the　reins　of　an
enlightened　government；　and　well　versed　in　the　politics　of　his　country
and　in　general；　practical　information。　　Look　at　him；　sitting　there
presiding　over　the　deliberations　of　a　legislative　body；　among　whom　are
white　mena　grave；　dignified；　statesmanlike　personage；　and　as　seemingly
natural　and　fitted　to　the　place　as　if　he　had　been　born　in　it　and　had
never　been　out　of　it　in　his　life　time。　　How　the　experiences　of　this　old
man's　eventful　life　shame　the　cheap　inventions　of　romance！〃

The　christianizing　of　the　natives　has　hardly　even　weakened　some　of　their
barbarian　superstitions；　much　less　destroyed　them。　　I　have　just　referred
to　one　of　these。　　It　is　still　a　popular　belief　that　if　your　enemy　can　get
hold　of　any　article　belonging　to　you　he　can　get　down　on　his　knees　over　it
and　pray　you　to　death。　　Therefore　many　a　native　gives　up　and　dies　merely
because　he　imagines　that　some　enemy　is　putting　him　through　a　course　of
damaging　prayer。　　This　praying　an　individual　to　death　seems　absurb　enough
at　a　first　glance；　but　then　when　we　call　to　mind　some　of　the　pulpit
efforts　of　certain　of　our　own　ministers　the　thing　looks　plausible。

In　former　times；　among　the　Islanders；　not　only　a　plurality　of　wives　was
customary；　but　a　plurality　of　husbands　likewise。　　Some　native　women　of
noble　rank　had　as　many　as　six　husbands。　　A　woman　thus　supplied　did　not
reside　with　all　her　husbands　at　once；　but　lived　several　months　with　each
in　turn。　　An　understood　sign　hung　at　her　door　during　these　months。　　When
the　sign　was　taken　down；　it　meant　〃NEXT。〃

In　those　days　woman　was　rigidly　taught　to　〃know　her　place。〃　　Her　place
was　to　do　all　the　work；　take　all　the　cuffs；　provide　all　the　food；　and
content　herself　with　what　was　left　after　her　lord　had　finished　his
dinner。　　She　was　not　only　forbidden；　by　ancient　law；　and　under　penalty　of
death；　to　eat　with　her　husband　or　enter　a　canoe；　but　was　debarred；　under
the　same　penalty；　from　eating　bananas；　pine…apples；　oranges　and　other
choice　fruits　at　any　time　or　in　any　place。　　She　had　to　confine　herself
pretty　strictly　to　〃poi〃　and　hard　work。　　These　poor　ignorant　heathen　seem
to　have　had　a　sort　of　groping　idea　of　what　came　of　woman　eating　fruit　in
the　garden　of　Eden；　and　they　did　not　choose　to　take　any　more　chances。
But　the　missionaries　broke　up　this　satisfactory　arrangement　of　things。
They　liberated　woman　and　made　her　the　equal　of　man。

The　natives　had　a　romantic　fashion　of　burying　some　of　their　children
alive　when　the　family　became　larger　than　necessary。　　The　missionaries
interfered　in　this　matter　too；　and　stopped　it。

To　this　day　the　natives　are　able　to　lie　down　and　die　whenever　they　want
to；　whether　there　is　anything　the　matter　with　them　or　not。　　If　a　Kanaka
takes　a　notion　to　die；　that　is　the　end　of　him；　nobody　can　persuade　him　to
hold　on；　all　the　doctors　in　the　world　could　not　save　him。

A　luxury　which　they　enjoy　more　than　anything　else；　is　a　large　funeral。
If　a　person　wants　to　get　rid　of　a　troublesome　native；　it　is　only
necessary　to　promise　him　a　fine　funeral　and　name　the　hour　and　he　will　be
on　hand　to　the　minuteat　least　his　remains　will。

All　the　natives　are　Christians；　now；　but　many　of　them　still　desert　to　the
Great　Shark　God　for　temporary　succor　in　time　of　trouble。　　An　irruption　of
the　great　volcano　of　Kilauea；　or　an　earthquake；　always　brings　a　deal　of
latent　loyalty　to　the　Great　Shark　God　to　the　surface。　　It　is　common
report　that　the　King；　educated；　cultivated　and　refined　Christian
gentleman　as　he　undoubtedly　is；　still　turns　to　the　idols　of　his　fathers
for　help　when　disaster　threatens。　　A　planter　caught　a　shark；　and　one　of
his　christianized　natives　testified　his　emancipation　from　the　thrall　of
ancient　superstition　by　assisting　to　dissect　the　shark　after　a　fashion
forbidden　by　his　abandoned　creed。　　But　remorse　shortly　began　to　torture
him。　　He　grew　moody　and　sought　solitude；　brooded　over　his　sin；　refused
food；　and　finally　said　he　must　die　and　ought　to　die；　for　he　had　sinned
against　the　Great　Shark　God　and　could　never　know　peace　any　more。　　He　was
proof　against　persuasion　and　ridicule；　and　in　the　course　of　a　day　or　two
took　to　his　bed　and　died；　although　he　showed　no　symptom　of　disease。
His　young　daughter　followed　his　lead　and　suffered　a　like　fate　within　the
week。　　Superstition　is　ingrained　in　the　native　blood　and　bone　and　it　is
only　natural　that　it　should　crop　out　in　time　of　distress。　　Wherever　one
goes　in　the　Islands；　he　will　find　small　piles　of　stones　by　the　wayside；
covered　with　leafy　offerings；　placed　there　by　the　natives　to　appease　evil
spirits　or　honor　local　deities　belonging　to　the　mythology　of　former　days。

In　the　rural　districts　of　any　of　the　Islands；　the　traveler　hourly　comes
upon　parties　of　dusky　maidens　bathing　in　the　streams　or　in　the　sea
without　any　clothing　on　and　exhibiting　no　very　intemperate　zeal　in　the
matter　of　hiding　their　nakedness。　　When　the　missionaries　first　took　up
their　residence　in　Honolulu；　the　native　women　would　pay　their　families
frequent　friendly　visits；　day　by　day；　not　even　clothed　with　a　blush。
It　was　found　a　hard　matter　to　convince　them　that　this　was　rather
indelicate。　　Finally　the　missionaries　provided　them　with　long；　loose
calico　robes；　and　that　ended　the　difficultyfor　the　women　would　troop
through　the　town；　stark　naked；　with　their　robes　folded　under　their　arms；
march　to　the　missionary　houses　and　then　　proceed　to　dress！The　natives
soon　manifested　a　strong　proclivity　for　clothing；　but　it　was　shortly
apparent　that　they　only　wanted　it　for　grandeur。　　The　missionaries
imported　a　quantity　of　hats；　bonnets；　and　other　male　and　female　wearing
apparel；　instituted　a　general　distribution；　and　begged　the　people　not　to
come　to　church　naked；　next　Sunday；　as　usual。　　And　they　did　not；　but　the
national　spirit　of　unselfishness　led　them　to　divide　up　with　neighbors　who
were　not　at　the　distribution；　and　next　Sabbath　the　poor　preachers　could
hardly　keep　countenance　before　their　vast　congregations。　　In　the　midst　of
the　reading　of　a　hymn　a　brown；　stately　dame　would　sweep　up　the　aisle　with
a　world　of　airs；　with　nothing　in　the　world　on　but　a　〃stovepipe〃　hat　and　a
pair　of　cheap　gloves；　another　dame　would　follow；　tricked　out　in　a　man's
shirt；　and　nothing　else；　another　one　would　enter　with　a　flourish；　with
simply　the　sleeves　of　a　bright　calico　dress　tied　around　her　waist　and　the
rest　of　the　garment　dragging　behind　like　a　peacock's　tail　off　duty；　a
stately　〃buck〃　Kanaka　would　stalk　in　with　a　woman's　bonnet　on；　wrong　side
beforeonly　this；　and　nothing　more；　after　him　would　stride　his　fellow；
with　the　legs　of　a　pair　of　pantaloons　tied　around　his　neck；　the　rest　of
his　person　untrammeled；　in　his　rear　would　come　another　gentleman　simply
gotten　up　in　a　fiery　neck…tie　and　a　striped　vest。

The　poor　creatures　were　beaming　with　complacency　and　wholly　unconscious
of　any　absurdity　in　their　appearance。　　They　gazed　at　each　other　with
happy　admiration；　and　it　was　plain　to　see　that　the　young　girls　were
taking　note　of　what　each　other　had　on；　as　naturally　as　if　they　had　always
lived　in　a　land　of　Bibles　and　knew　what　churches　were　made　for；　here　was
the　evidence　of　a　dawning　civilization。　　The　spectacle　which　the
congregation　presented　was　so　extraordinary　and　withal　so　moving；　that
the　missionaries　found　it　difficult　to　keep　to　the　text　and　go　on　with
the　services；　and　by　and　by　when　the　simple　children　of　the　sun　began　a
general　swapping　of　garments　in　open　meeting　and　produced　some
irresistibly　grotesque　effects　in　the　course　of　re…dressing；　there　was
nothing　for　it　but　to　cut　the　thing　short　with　the　benediction　and