up from slavery-第3章

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imply　a　victim　of　the　system　of　slavery。　I　cannot　remember　having　slept　in　a　bed　until　after　our　family　was　declared　free　by　the　Emancipation　Proclamation。　Three　childrenJohn；　my　older　brother；　Amanda；　my　sister；　and　myselfhad　a　pallet　on　the　dirt　floor；　or；　to　be　more　correct；　we　slept　in　and　on　a　bundle　of　filthy　rags　laid　upon　the　dirt　floor。

I　was　asked　not　long　ago　to　tell　something　about　the　sports　and　pastimes　that　I　engaged　in　during　my　youth。　Until　that　question　was　asked　it　had　never　occurred　to　me　that　there　was　no　period　of　my　life　that　was　devoted　to　play。　From　the　time　that　I　can　remember　anything；　almost　every　day　of　my　life　had　been　occupied　in　some　kind　of　labour；　though　I　think　I　would　now　be　a　more　useful　man　if　I　had　had　time　for　sports。　During　the　period　that　I　spent　in　slavery　I　was　not　large　enough　to　be　of　much　service；　still　I　was　occupied　most　of　the　time　in　cleaning　the　yards；　carrying　water　to　the　men　in　the　fields；　or　going　to　the　mill　to　which　I　used　to　take　the　corn；　once　a　week；　to　be　ground。　The　mill　was　about　three　miles　from　the　plantation。　This　work　I　always　dreaded。　The　heavy　bag　of　corn　would　be　thrown　across　the　back　of　the　horse；　and　the　corn　divided　about　evenly　on　each　side；　but　in　some　way；　almost　without　exception；　on　these　trips；　the　corn　would　so　shift　as　to　become　unbalanced　and　would　fall　off　the　horse；　and　often　I　would　fall　with　it。　As　I　was　not　strong　enough　to　reload　the　corn　upon　the　horse；　I　would　have　to　wait；　sometimes　for　many　hours；　till　a　chance　passer…by　came　along　who　would　help　me　out　of　my　trouble。　The　hours　while　waiting　for　some　one　were　usually　spent　in　crying。　The　time　consumed　in　this　way　made　me　late　in　reaching　the　mill；　and　by　the　time　I　got　my　corn　ground　and　reached　home　it　would　be　far　into　the　night。　The　road　was　a　lonely　one；　and　often　led　through　dense　forests。　I　was　always　frightened。　The　woods　were　said　to　be　full　of　soldiers　who　had　deserted　from　the　army；　and　I　had　been　told　that　the　first　thing　a　deserter　did　to　a　Negro　boy　when　he　found　him　alone　was　to　cut　off　his　ears。　Besides；　when　I　was　late　in　getting　home　I　knew　I　would　always　get　a　severe　scolding　or　a　flogging。

I　had　no　schooling　whatever　while　I　was　a　slave；　though　I　remember　on　several　occasions　I　went　as　far　as　the　schoolhouse　door　with　one　of　my　young　mistresses　to　carry　her　books。　The　picture　of　several　dozen　boys　and　girls　in　a　schoolroom　engaged　in　study　made　a　deep　impression　upon　me；　and　I　had　the　feeling　that　to　get　into　a　schoolhouse　and　study　in　this　way　would　be　about　the　same　as　getting　into　paradise。

So　far　as　I　can　now　recall；　the　first　knowledge　that　I　got　of　the　fact　that　we　were　slaves；　and　that　freedom　of　the　slaves　was　being　discussed；　was　early　one　morning　before　day；　when　I　was　awakened　by　my　mother　kneeling　over　her　children　and　fervently　praying　that　Lincoln　and　his　armies　might　be　successful；　and　that　one　day　she　and　her　children　might　be　free。　In　this　connection　I　have　never　been　able　to　understand　how　the　slaves　throughout　the　South；　completely　ignorant　as　were　the　masses　so　far　as　books　or　newspapers　were　concerned；　were　able　to　keep　themselves　so　accurately　and　completely　informed　about　the　great　National　questions　that　were　agitating　the　country。　From　the　time　that　Garrison；　Lovejoy；　and　others　began　to　agitate　for　freedom；　the　slaves　throughout　the　South　kept　in　close　touch　with　the　progress　of　the　movement。　Though　I　was　a　mere　child　during　the　preparation　for　the　Civil　War　and　during　the　war　itself；　I　now　recall　the　many　late…at…night　whispered　discussions　that　I　heard　my　mother　and　the　other　slaves　on　the　plantation　indulge　in。　These　discussions　showed　that　they　understood　the　situation；　and　that　they　kept　themselves　informed　of　events　by　what　was　termed　the　〃grape…vine〃　telegraph。

During　the　campaign　when　Lincoln　was　first　a　candidate　for　the　Presidency；　the　slaves　on　our　far…off　plantation；　miles　from　any　railroad　or　large　city　or　daily　newspaper；　knew　what　the　issues　involved　were。　When　war　was　begun　between　the　North　and　the　South；　every　slave　on　our　plantation　felt　and　knew　that；　though　other　issues　were　discussed；　the　primal　one　was　that　of　slavery。　Even　the　most　ignorant　members　of　my　race　on　the　remote　plantations　felt　in　their　hearts；　with　a　certainty　that　admitted　of　no　doubt；　that　the　freedom　of　the　slaves　would　be　the　one　great　result　of　the　war；　if　the　northern　armies　conquered。　Every　success　of　the　Federal　armies　and　every　defeat　of　the　Confederate　forces　was　watched　with　the　keenest　and　most　intense　interest。　Often　the　slaves　got　knowledge　of　the　results　of　great　battles　before　the　white　people　received　it。　This　news　was　usually　gotten　from　the　coloured　man　who　was　sent　to　the　post…office　for　the　mail。　In　our　case　the　post…office　was　about　three　miles　from　the　plantation；　and　the　mail　came　once　or　twice　a　week。　The　man　who　was　sent　to　the　office　would　linger　about　the　place　long　enough　to　get　the　drift　of　the　conversation　from　the　group　of　white　people　who　naturally　congregated　there；　after　receiving　their　mail；　to　discuss　the　latest　news。　The　mail…carrier　on　his　way　back　to　our　master's　house　would　as　naturally　retail　the　news　that　he　had　secured　among　the　slaves；　and　in　this　way　they　often　heard　of　important　events　before　the　white　people　at　the　〃big　house；〃　as　the　master's　house　was　called。

I　cannot　remember　a　single　instance　during　my　childhood　or　early　boyhood　when　our　entire　family　sat　down　to　the　table　together；　and　God's　blessing　was　asked；　and　the　family　ate　a　meal　in　a　civilized　manner。　On　the　plantation　in　Virginia；　and　even　later；　meals　were　gotten　by　the　children　very　much　as　dumb　animals　get　theirs。　It　was　a　piece　of　bread　here　and　a　scrap　of　meat　there。　It　was　a　cup　of　milk　at　one　time　and　some　potatoes　at　another。　Sometimes　a　portion　of　our　family　would　eat　out　of　the　skillet　or　pot；　while　some　one　else　would　eat　from　a　tin　plate　held　on　the　knees；　and　often　using　nothing　but　the　hands　with　which　to　hold　the　food。　When　I　had　grown　to　sufficient　size；　I　was　required　to　go　to　the　〃big　house〃　at　meal…times　to　fan　the　flies　from　the　table　by　means　of　a　large　set　of　paper　fans　operated　by　a　pulley。　Naturally　much　of　the　conversation　of　the　white　people　turned　upon　the　subject　of　freedom　and　the　war；　and　I　absorbed　a　good　deal　of　it。　I　remember　that　at　one　time　I　saw　two　of　my　young　mistresses　and　some　lady　visitors　eating　ginger…cakes；　in　the　yard。　At　that　time　those　cakes　seemed　to　me　to　be　absolutely　the　most　tempting　and　desirable　things　that　I　had　ever　seen；　and　I　then　and　there　resolved　that；　if　I　ever　got　free；　the　height　of　my　ambition　would　be　reached　if　I　could　get　to　the　point　where　I　could　secure　and　eat　ginger…cakes　in　the　way　that　I　saw　those　ladies　doing。

Of　course　as　the　war　was　prolonged　the　white　people；　in　many　cases；　often　found　it　difficult　to　secure　food　for　themselves。　I　think　the　slaves　felt　the　deprivation　less　than　the　whites；　because　the　usual　diet　for　slaves　was　corn　bread　and　pork；　and　these　could　be　raised　on　the　plantation；　but　coffee；　tea；　sugar；　and　other　articles　which　the　whites　had　been　accustomed　to　use　could　not　be　raised　on　the　plantation；　and　the　conditions　brought　about　by　the　war　frequently　made　it　impossible　to　secure　these　things。　The　whites　were　often　in　great　straits。　Parched　corn　was　used　for　coffee；　and　a　kind　of　black　molasses　was　used　instead　of　sugar。　Many　times　nothing　was　used　to　sweeten　the　so…called　tea　and　coffee。

The　first　pair　of　shoes　that　I　recall　wearing　were　wooden　ones。　They　had　rough　leather　on　the　top；　but　the　bottoms；　which　were　about　an　inch　thick；　were　of　wood。　When　I　walked　they　made　a　fearful　noise；　and　besides　this　they　were　very　inconvenient；　since　there　was　no　yielding　to　the　natural　pressure　of　the　foot。　In　wearing　them　one　presented　and　exceedingly　awkward　appearance。　The　most　trying　ordeal　that　I　was　forced　to　endure　as　a　slave　boy；　however；　was　the　wearing　of　a　flax　shirt。　In　the　portion　of　Virginia　where　I　lived　it　was　common　to　use　flax　as　part　of　the　clothing　for　the　slaves。　That　part　of　the　flax　from　which　our　clothing　was　made　was　largely　the　refuse；　which　of　course　was　the　cheapest　and　roughest　part。　I　can　scarcely　imagine　any　torture；　except；　perhaps；　the　pulling　of　a　tooth；　that　is　equal　to　that　caused　by　putting　on　a　new　flax　shirt　for　the　first　time。　It　is　almost　equal　to　the　feeling　that　one　would　experience　if　he　had　a　dozen　or　more　chestnut　burrs；　or　a　hundred　small　pin…points；　in　contact　with　his　flesh。　Even　to　this　day　I　can　recall　accurately　the　tortures　that　I　underwent　when　putting　on　one　of　these　garments。　The　fact　that　my　flesh　was　soft　and　tender　added　to　the　pain。　But　I　had　no　choice。　I　had　to　wear　the　flax　shirt　or　none；　and　had　it　been　left　to　me　to　choose；　I　should　have　chosen　to　wear　no　covering。　In　connection　with　the　flax　shirt；　my　brother　John；　who　is　several　years　older　than　I　am；　performed　one　of　the　most　generous　acts　that　I　ever　heard　of　one　slave　relative　doing　for　another。　On　several　occasions　when　I　was　being　forced　to　wear　a　new　flax　shirt；　he　generously　agreed　to　put　it　on　in　my　stead　and　wear　it　for　several　days；　till　it　was　〃broken　in。〃　Until　I　had　grown　to　be　quite　a　youth　this　single　garment　was　all　that　I　wore。

One　may　get　the　idea；　from　what　I　have　said；　that　there　was　bitter　feeling　toward　the　white　people　on　the　part　of　my　race；　because　of　the　fact　that　most　of　the　white　population　was　away　fighting　in　a　war　which　would　result　in　keeping　the　Negro　in　slavery　if　the　South　was　successful。　In　the　case　of　the　slaves　on　our　place　this　was　not　true；　and　it　was　not　true　of　any　large　portion　of　the　slave　population　in　the　South　where　the　Negro　was　treated　with　anything　like　decency。　During　the　Civil　War　one　of　my　young　masters　was　killed；　and　two　were　severely　wounded。　I　recall　the　feeling　of　sorrow　which　existed　among　the　slaves　when　they　heard　of　the　death　of　〃Mars'　Billy。〃　It　was　no　sham　sorrow；　but　real。　Some　of　the　slaves　had　nursed　〃Mars'　Billy〃；　others　had　played　with　him　when　he　was　a　child。　〃Mars'　Billy〃　had　begged　for　mercy　in　the　case　of　others　when　the　overseer　or　master　was　thrashing　them。　The　sorrow　in　the　slave　quarter　was　only　second　to　that　in　the　〃big　house。〃　When　the　two　young　masters　were　brought　home　wounded；　the　sympathy　of　the　slaves　was　shown　in　many　ways。　They　were　just　as　anxious　to　assist　in　the　nursing　as　the　family　relatives　of　the　wounded。　Some　of　the　slaves　would　even　beg　for　the　privilege　of　sitting　up　at　night　to　nurse　their　wounded　masters。　This　tenderness　and　sympathy　on　the　part　of　those　held　in　bondage　was　a　result　of　their　kindly　and　generous　nature。　In　order　to　defend　and　protect　the　women　and　children　who　were　left　on　the　plantations　when　the　white　males　went　to　war；　the　slaves　would　have　laid　down　their　lives。　The　slave　who　was　selected　to　sleep　in　the　〃big　house〃　during　the　absence　of　the　males　was　considered　to　have　the　place　of　honour。　Any　one　attempting　to　harm　〃young　Mistress〃　or　〃old　Mistress〃　during　the　night　would　have　had　to　cross　the　dead　body　of　the　slave　to　do　so。　I　do　not　know　how　many　have　noticed　it；　but　I　think　that　it　will　be　found　to　be　true　that　there　are　few　instances；　either　in　slavery　or　freedom；　in　which　a　member　of　my　race　has　been　known　to　betray　a