up from slavery-第7章

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　far　as　real　life　is　concerned。　With　few　exceptions；　the　Negro　youth　must　work　harder　and　must　perform　his　tasks　even　better　than　a　white　youth　in　order　to　secure　recognition。　But　out　of　the　hard　and　unusual　struggle　through　which　he　is　compelled　to　pass；　he　gets　a　strength；　a　confidence；　that　one　misses　whose　pathway　is　comparatively　smooth　by　reason　of　birth　and　race。

From　any　point　of　view；　I　had　rather　be　what　I　am；　a　member　of　the　Negro　race；　than　be　able　to　claim　membership　with　the　most　favoured　of　any　other　race。　I　have　always　been　made　sad　when　I　have　heard　members　of　any　race　claiming　rights　or　privileges；　or　certain　badges　of　distinction；　on　the　ground　simply　that　they　were　members　of　this　or　that　race；　regardless　of　their　own　individual　worth　or　attainments。　I　have　been　made　to　feel　sad　for　such　persons　because　I　am　conscious　of　the　fact　that　mere　connection　with　what　is　known　as　a　superior　race　will　not　permanently　carry　an　individual　forward　unless　he　has　individual　worth；　and　mere　connection　with　what　is　regarded　as　an　inferior　race　will　not　finally　hold　an　individual　back　if　he　possesses　intrinsic；　individual　merit。　Every　persecuted　individual　and　race　should　get　much　consolation　out　of　the　great　human　law；　which　is　universal　and　eternal；　that　merit；　no　matter　under　what　skin　found；　is；　in　the　long　run；　recognized　and　rewarded。　This　I　have　said　here；　not　to　call　attention　to　myself　as　an　individual；　but　to　the　race　to　which　I　am　proud　to　belong。



Chapter　III。　The　Struggle　For　An　Education

One　day；　while　at　work　in　the　coal…mine；　I　happened　to　overhear　two　miners　talking　about　a　great　school　for　coloured　people　somewhere　in　Virginia。　This　was　the　first　time　that　I　had　ever　heard　anything　about　any　kind　of　school　or　college　that　was　more　pretentious　than　the　little　coloured　school　in　our　town。

In　the　darkness　of　the　mine　I　noiselessly　crept　as　close　as　I　could　to　the　two　men　who　were　talking。　I　heard　one　tell　the　other　that　not　only　was　the　school　established　for　the　members　of　any　race；　but　the　opportunities　that　it　provided　by　which　poor　but　worthy　students　could　work　out　all　or　a　part　of　the　cost　of　a　board；　and　at　the　same　time　be　taught　some　trade　or　industry。

As　they　went　on　describing　the　school；　it　seemed　to　me　that　it　must　be　the　greatest　place　on　earth；　and　not　even　Heaven　presented　more　attractions　for　me　at　that　time　than　did　the　Hampton　Normal　and　Agricultural　Institute　in　Virginia；　about　which　these　men　were　talking。　I　resolved　at　once　to　go　to　that　school；　although　I　had　no　idea　where　it　was；　or　how　many　miles　away；　or　how　I　was　going　to　reach　it；　I　remembered　only　that　I　was　on　fire　constantly　with　one　ambition；　and　that　was　to　go　to　Hampton。　This　thought　was　with　me　day　and　night。

After　hearing　of　the　Hampton　Institute；　I　continued　to　work　for　a　few　months　longer　in　the　coal…mine。　While　at　work　there；　I　heard　of　a　vacant　position　in　the　household　of　General　Lewis　Ruffner；　the　owner　of　the　salt…furnace　and　coal…mine。　Mrs。　Viola　Ruffner；　the　wife　of　General　Ruffner；　was　a　〃Yankee〃　woman　from　Vermont。　Mrs。　Ruffner　had　a　reputation　all　through　the　vicinity　for　being　very　strict　with　her　servants；　and　especially　with　the　boys　who　tried　to　serve　her。　Few　of　them　remained　with　her　more　than　two　or　three　weeks。　They　all　left　with　the　same　excuse：　she　was　too　strict。　I　decided；　however；　that　I　would　rather　try　Mrs。　Ruffner's　house　than　remain　in　the　coal…mine；　and　so　my　mother　applied　to　her　for　the　vacant　position。　I　was　hired　at　a　salary　of　5　per　month。

I　had　heard　so　much　about　Mrs。　Ruffner's　severity　that　I　was　almost　afraid　to　see　her；　and　trembled　when　I　went　into　her　presence。　I　had　not　lived　with　her　many　weeks；　however；　before　I　began　to　understand　her。　I　soon　began　to　learn　that；　first　of　all；　she　wanted　everything　kept　clean　about　her；　that　she　wanted　things　done　promptly　and　systematically；　and　that　at　the　bottom　of　everything　she　wanted　absolute　honesty　and　frankness。　Nothing　must　be　sloven　or　slipshod；　every　door；　every　fence；　must　be　kept　in　repair。

I　cannot　now　recall　how　long　I　lived　with　Mrs。　Ruffner　before　going　to　Hampton；　but　I　think　it　must　have　been　a　year　and　a　half。　At　any　rate；　I　here　repeat　what　I　have　said　more　than　once　before；　that　the　lessons　that　I　learned　in　the　home　of　Mrs。　Ruffner　were　as　valuable　to　me　as　any　education　I　have　ever　gotten　anywhere　else。　Even　to　this　day　I　never　see　bits　of　paper　scattered　around　a　house　or　in　the　street　that　I　do　not　want　to　pick　them　up　at　once。　I　never　see　a　filthy　yard　that　I　do　not　want　to　clean　it；　a　paling　off　of　a　fence　that　I　do　not　want　to　put　it　on；　an　unpainted　or　unwhitewashed　house　that　I　do　not　want　to　pain　or　whitewash　it；　or　a　button　off　one's　clothes；　or　a　grease…spot　on　them　or　on　a　floor；　that　I　do　not　want　to　call　attention　to　it。

From　fearing　Mrs。　Ruffner　I　soon　learned　to　look　upon　her　as　one　of　my　best　friends。　When　she　found　that　she　could　trust　me　she　did　so　implicitly。　During　the　one　or　two　winters　that　I　was　with　her　she　gave　me　an　opportunity　to　go　to　school　for　an　hour　in　the　day　during　a　portion　of　the　winter　months；　but　most　of　my　studying　was　done　at　night；　sometimes　alone；　sometimes　under　some　one　whom　I　could　hire　to　teach　me。　Mrs。　Ruffner　always　encouraged　and　sympathized　with　me　in　all　my　efforts　to　get　an　education。　It　was　while　living　with　her　that　I　began　to　get　together　my　first　library。　I　secured　a　dry…goods　box；　knocked　out　one　side　of　it；　put　some　shelves　in　it；　and　began　putting　into　it　every　kind　of　book　that　I　could　get　my　hands　upon；　and　called　it　my　〃library。〃

Notwithstanding　my　success　at　Mrs。　Ruffner's　I　did　not　give　up　the　idea　of　going　to　the　Hampton　Institute。　In　the　fall　of　1872　I　determined　to　make　an　effort　to　get　there；　although；　as　I　have　stated；　I　had　no　definite　idea　of　the　direction　in　which　Hampton　was；　or　of　what　it　would　cost　to　go　there。　I　do　not　think　that　any　one　thoroughly　sympathized　with　me　in　my　ambition　to　go　to　Hampton　unless　it　was　my　mother；　and　she　was　troubled　with　a　grave　fear　that　I　was　starting　out　on　a　〃wild…goose　chase。〃　At　any　rate；　I　got　only　a　half…hearted　consent　from　her　that　I　might　start。　The　small　amount　of　money　that　I　had　earned　had　been　consumed　by　my　stepfather　and　the　remainder　of　the　family；　with　the　exception　of　a　very　few　dollars；　and　so　I　had　very　little　with　which　to　buy　clothes　and　pay　my　travelling　expenses。　My　brother　John　helped　me　all　that　he　could；　but　of　course　that　was　not　a　great　deal；　for　his　work　was　in　the　coal…mine；　where　he　did　not　earn　much；　and　most　of　what　he　did　earn　went　in　the　direction　of　paying　the　household　expenses。

Perhaps　the　thing　that　touched　and　pleased　me　most　in　connection　with　my　starting　for　Hampton　was　the　interest　that　many　of　the　older　coloured　people　took　in　the　matter。　They　had　spent　the　best　days　of　their　lives　in　slavery；　and　hardly　expected　to　live　to　see　the　time　when　they　would　see　a　member　of　their　race　leave　home　to　attend　a　boarding…school。　Some　of　these　older　people　would　give　me　a　nickel；　others　a　quarter；　or　a　handkerchief。

Finally　the　great　day　came；　and　I　started　for　Hampton。　I　had　only　a　small；　cheap　satchel　that　contained　a　few　articles　of　clothing　I　could　get。　My　mother　at　the　time　was　rather　weak　and　broken　in　health。　I　hardly　expected　to　see　her　again；　and　thus　our　parting　was　all　the　more　sad。　She；　however；　was　very　brave　through　it　all。　At　that　time　there　were　no　through　trains　connecting　that　part　of　West　Virginia　with　eastern　Virginia。　Trains　ran　only　a　portion　of　the　way；　and　the　remainder　of　the　distance　was　travelled　by　stage…coaches。

The　distance　from　Malden　to　Hampton　is　about　five　hundred　miles。　I　had　not　been　away　from　home　many　hours　before　it　began　to　grow　painfully　evident　that　I　did　not　have　enough　money　to　pay　my　fair　to　Hampton。　One　experience　I　shall　long　remember。　I　had　been　travelling　over　the　mountains　most　of　the　afternoon　in　an　old…fashion　stage…coach；　when；　late　in　the　evening；　the　coach　stopped　for　the　night　at　a　common；　unpainted　house　called　a　hotel。　All　the　other　passengers　except　myself　were　whites。　In　my　ignorance　I　supposed　that　the　little　hotel　existed　for　the　purpose　of　accommodating　the　passengers　who　travelled　on　the　stage…coach。　The　difference　that　the　colour　of　one's　skin　would　make　I　had　not　thought　anything　about。　After　all　the　other　passengers　had　been　shown　rooms　and　were　getting　ready　for　supper；　I　shyly　presented　myself　before　the　man　at　the　desk。　It　is　true　I　had　practically　no　money　in　my　pocket　with　which　to　pay　for　bed　or　food；　but　I　had　hoped　in　some　way　to　beg　my　way　into　the　good　graces　of　the　landlord；　for　at　that　season　in　the　mountains　of　Virginia　the　weather　was　cold；　and　I　wanted　to　get　indoors　for　the　night。　Without　asking　as　to　whether　I　had　any　money；　the　man　at　the　desk　firmly　refused　to　even　consider　the　matter　of　providing　me　with　food　or　lodging。　This　was　my　first　experience　in　finding　out　what　the　colour　of　my　skin　meant。　In　some　way　I　managed　to　keep　warm　by　walking　about；　and　so　got　through　the　night。　My　whole　soul　was　so　bent　upon　reaching　Hampton　that　I　did　not　have　time　to　cherish　any　bitterness　toward　the　hotel…keeper。

By　walking；　begging　rides　both　in　wagons　and　in　the　cars；　in　some　way；　after　a　number　of　days；　I　reached　the　city　of　Richmond；　Virginia；　about　eighty…two　miles　from　Hampton。　When　I　reached　there；　tired；　hungry；　and　dirty；　it　was　late　in　the　night。　I　had　never　been　in　a　large　city；　and　this　rather　added　to　my　misery。　When　I　reached　Richmond；　I　was　completely　out　of　money。　I　had　not　a　single　acquaintance　in　the　place；　and；　being　unused　to　city　ways；　I　did　not　know　where　to　go。　I　applied　at　several　places　for　lodging；　but　they　all　wanted　money；　and　that　was　what　I　did　not　have。　Knowing　nothing　else　better　to　do；　I　walked　the　streets。　In　doing　this　I　passed　by　many　a　food…stands　where　fried　chicken　and　half…moon　apple　pies　were　piled　high　and　made　to　present　a　most　tempting　appearance。　At　that　time　it　seemed　to　me　that　I　would　have　promised　all　that　I　expected　to　possess　in　the　future　to　have　gotten　hold　of　one　of　those　chicken　legs　or　one　of　those　pies。　But　I　could　not　get　either　of　these；　nor　anything　else　to　eat。

I　must　have　walked　the　streets　till　after　midnight。　At　last　I　became　so　exhausted　that　I　could　walk　no　longer。　I　was　tired；　I　was　hungry；　I　was　everything　but　discouraged。　Just　about　the　time　when　I　reached　extreme　physical　exhaustion；　I　came　upon　a　portion　of　a　street　where　the　board　sidewalk　was　considerably　elevated。　I　waited　for　a　few　minutes；　till　I　was　sure　that　no　passers…by　could　see　me；　and　then　crept　under　the　sidewalk　and　lay　for　the　night　upon　the　ground；　with　my　satchel　of　clothing　for　a　pillow。　Nearly　all　night　I　could　hear　the　tramp　of　feet　over　my　head。　The　next　morning　I　found　myself　somewhat　refreshed；　but　I　was　extremely　hungry；　because　it　had　been　a　long　time　since　I　had　had　sufficient　food。　As　soon　as　it　became　light　enough　for　me　to　see　my　surroundings　I　noticed　that　I　was　near　a　large　ship；　and　that　this　ship　seemed　to　be　unloading　a　cargo　of　pig　iron。　I　went　at　once　to　the　vessel　and　asked　the　captain　to　permit　me　to　help　unload　the　vessel　in　order　to　get　money　for　food。　The　captain；　a　white　man；　who　seemed　to　be　kind…hearted；　consented。　I　wo