the ways of men(ÈËÃǵÄÊÖ¶Î)-µÚ1ÕÂ
°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡û »ò ¡ú ¿É¿ìËÙÉÏÏ·ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉ쵀 Enter ¼ü¿É»Øµ½±¾ÊéĿ¼ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡ü ¿É»Øµ½±¾Ò³¶¥²¿£¡
¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ªÎ´ÔĶÁÍꣿ¼ÓÈëÊéÇ©ÒѱãÏ´μÌÐøÔĶÁ£¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡THE¡¡WAYS¡¡OF¡¡MEN¡¡
THE¡¡WAYS¡¡OF¡¡MEN¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Eliot¡¡Gregory¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡1¡¡
¡¡¡Page¡¡2¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡THE¡¡WAYS¡¡OF¡¡MEN¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡CHAPTER¡¡1¡¡¡¡¡¡¨UNCLE¡¡SAM¡¨¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡THE¡¡gentleman¡¡who¡¡graced¡¡the¡¡gubernatorial¡¡arm¡chair¡¡of¡¡our¡¡state¡¡
when¡¡this¡¡century¡¡was¡¡born¡¡happened¡¡to¡¡be¡¡an¡¡admirer¡¡of¡¡classic¡¡lore¡¡and¡¡
the¡¡sonorous¡¡names¡¡of¡¡antiquity¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡It¡¡is¡¡owing¡¡to¡¡his¡¡weakness¡¡in¡¡bestowing¡¡pompous¡¡cognomens¡¡on¡¡our¡¡
embryo¡¡¡¡¡¡towns¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡villages¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡day¡¡¡¡¡¡names¡¡¡¡¡¡like¡¡¡¡¡¡Utica£»¡¡¡¡¡¡Syracuse£»¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡
Ithaca£»¡¡instead¡¡of¡¡evoking¡¡visions¡¡of¡¡historic¡¡pomp¡¡and¡¡circumstance£»¡¡raise¡¡
in¡¡the¡¡minds¡¡of¡¡most¡¡Americans¡¡the¡¡picture¡¡of¡¡cocky¡¡little¡¡cities£»¡¡rich¡¡only¡¡
in¡¡trolley¡cars¡¡and¡¡Methodist¡¡meeting¡houses¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡When£»¡¡however£»¡¡this¡¡cultured¡¡governor£»¡¡in¡¡his¡¡ardor£»¡¡christened¡¡one¡¡of¡¡
the¡¡cities¡¡Troy£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡hill¡¡in¡¡its¡¡vicinity¡¡Mount¡¡Ida£»¡¡he¡¡little¡¡dreamed¡¡that¡¡
a¡¡¡¡¡¡youth¡¡¡¡¡¡was¡¡¡¡¡¡living¡¡¡¡¡¡on¡¡its¡¡¡¡¡¡slopes¡¡¡¡¡¡whose¡¡¡¡¡¡name¡¡¡¡¡¡was¡¡¡¡¡¡destined¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡become¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡
household¡¡¡¡¡¡word¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡world¡¡¡¡¡¡over£»¡¡¡¡¡¡as¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡synonym¡¡¡¡¡¡for¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡proudest¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡
wealthiest¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡republic¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡yet¡¡¡¡known¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡history£»¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡sobriquet¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡¡¡would¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡be¡¡
familiar¡¡¡¡¡¡in¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡mouths¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡races¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡whose¡¡¡¡¡¡continents¡¡¡¡¡¡even¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡titles¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡
Jupiter¡¡or¡¡Mars¡¡had¡¡never¡¡penetrated¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡A¡¡little¡¡before¡¡this¡¡century¡¡began£»¡¡two¡¡boys¡¡with¡¡packs¡¡bound¡¡on¡¡their¡¡
stalwart¡¡shoulders¡¡walked¡¡from¡¡New¡¡York¡¡and¡¡established¡¡a¡¡brickyard¡¡in¡¡
the¡¡neighborhood¡¡of¡¡what¡¡is¡¡now¡¡Perry¡¡Street£»¡¡Troy¡£¡¡Ebenezer¡¡and¡¡Samuel¡¡
Wilson¡¡soon¡¡became¡¡esteemed¡¡citizens¡¡of¡¡the¡¡infant¡¡city£»¡¡their¡¡kindliness¡¡
and¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡benevolence¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡winning¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡for¡¡¡¡them¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡affection¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡respect¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡the¡¡
community¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡The¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡younger¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡brother£»¡¡¡¡¡¡Samuel£»¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡was¡¡¡¡¡¡an¡¡¡¡¡¡especial¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡favorite¡¡¡¡¡¡with¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡
children¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡place£»¡¡¡¡¡¡whose¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡explorations¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡into¡¡¡¡his¡¡¡¡deep¡¡¡¡¡¡pockets¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡were¡¡
generally¡¡¡¡¡¡rewarded¡¡¡¡¡¡by¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡discovery¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡some¡¡¡¡¡¡simple¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨sweet¡¨¡¡¡¡¡¡or¡¡¡¡¡¡home¡¡¡
made¡¡toy¡£¡¡The¡¡slender¡¡youth¡¡with¡¡the¡¡¡¨nutcracker¡¨¡¡face¡¡proving¡¡to¡¡be¡¡the¡¡
merriest¡¡of¡¡playfellows£»¡¡in¡¡their¡¡love¡¡his¡¡little¡¡band¡¡of¡¡admirers¡¡gave¡¡him¡¡
the¡¡pet¡¡name¡¡of¡¡¡¨Uncle¡¡Sam£»¡¨¡¡by¡¡which¡¡he¡¡quickly¡¡became¡¡known£»¡¡to¡¡the¡¡
exclusion¡¡of¡¡his¡¡real¡¡name¡£¡¡This¡¡is¡¡the¡¡kindly¡¡and¡¡humble¡¡origin¡¡of¡¡a¡¡title¡¡
the¡¡¡¡¡¡mere¡¡¡¡¡¡speaking¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡which¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡day¡¡¡¡¡¡quickens¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡pulse¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡moistens¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡
eyes¡¡of¡¡millions¡¡of¡¡Americans¡¡with¡¡the¡¡same¡¡thrill¡¡that¡¡the¡¡dear¡¡old¡¡flag¡¡
arouses¡¡¡¡¡¡when¡¡¡¡¡¡we¡¡¡¡¡¡catch¡¡¡¡¡¡sight¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡it£»¡¡¡¡¡¡especially¡¡¡¡¡¡an¡¡¡¡¡¡unexpected¡¡¡¡¡¡glimpse¡¡¡¡¡¡in¡¡
some¡¡foreign¡¡land¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡2¡¡
¡¡¡Page¡¡3¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡THE¡¡WAYS¡¡OF¡¡MEN¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡With¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡increasing¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡wealth¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡brick¡yard¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡Wilson¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡brothers¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡was¡¡
replaced¡¡¡¡¡¡by¡¡¡¡¡¡an¡¡¡¡¡¡extensive¡¡¡¡¡¡slaughtering¡¡¡¡¡¡business£»¡¡¡¡¡¡in¡¡¡¡¡¡which¡¡¡¡¡¡more¡¡¡¡¡¡than¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡
hundred¡¡¡¡¡¡men¡¡¡¡¡¡were¡¡¡¡¡¡soon¡¡¡¡¡¡employed¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡¡¡vast¡¡¡¡¡¡establishment¡¡¡¡¡¡for¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡¡¡day£»¡¡
killing¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡weekly¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡some¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡thousand¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡head¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡cattle¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡During¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡military¡¡
operations¡¡of¡¡1812¡¡the¡¡brothers¡¡signed¡¡a¡¡contract¡¡to¡¡furnish¡¡the¡¡troops¡¡at¡¡
Greenbush¡¡with¡¡meat£»¡¡¡¨packed¡¡in¡¡full¡¡bound¡¡barrels¡¡of¡¡white¡¡oak¡¨£»¡¡soon¡¡
after£»¡¡Samuel¡¡was¡¡appointed¡¡Inspector¡¡of¡¡Provisions¡¡for¡¡the¡¡army¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡It¡¡is¡¡a¡¡curious¡¡coincidence¡¡that¡¡England¡¡also¡¡should¡¡have¡¡taken¡¡an¡¡ex¡¡¡
army¡contractor¡¡as¡¡her¡¡patron¡¡saint£»¡¡for¡¡if¡¡we¡¡are¡¡to¡¡believe¡¡tradition£»¡¡St¡£¡¡
George¡¡of¡¡Cappadocia¡¡filled¡¡that¡¡position¡¡unsatisfactorily¡¡before¡¡he¡¡passed¡¡
through¡¡martyrdom¡¡to¡¡sainthood¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡True¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡prototype¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡nation¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡¡¡was¡¡¡¡¡¡later¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡adopt¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡him¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡as¡¡¡¡its¡¡
godfather£»¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡shrewd¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡honest¡¡¡¡¡¡patriot£»¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨Uncle¡¡¡¡¡¡Sam£»¡¨¡¡¡¡¡¡not¡¡¡¡¡¡only¡¡¡¡¡¡lived¡¡
loyally¡¡up¡¡to¡¡his¡¡contracts£»¡¡giving¡¡full¡¡measure¡¡and¡¡of¡¡his¡¡best£»¡¡but¡¡proved¡¡
himself¡¡incorruptible£»¡¡making¡¡it¡¡his¡¡business¡¡to¡¡see¡¡that¡¡others¡¡too¡¡fulfilled¡¡
their¡¡¡¡¡¡engagements¡¡¡¡¡¡both¡¡¡¡¡¡in¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡letter¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡spirit£»¡¡¡¡¡¡so¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨U¡£S¡£¡¨¡¡
£¨abbreviation¡¡of¡¡United¡¡States£©¡¡which¡¡he¡¡pencilled¡¡on¡¡all¡¡provisions¡¡that¡¡
had¡¡¡¡¡¡passed¡¡¡¡¡¡his¡¡¡¡¡¡inspection¡¡¡¡¡¡became¡¡¡¡¡¡in¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡eyes¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡officers¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡soldiers¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡
guarantee¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡excellence¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡Samuel's¡¡¡¡¡¡old¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡friends£»¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡boys¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡Troy¡¡¡¡¡¡£¨now¡¡
enlisted¡¡in¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡army£©£»¡¡¡¡¡¡naively¡¡¡¡imagining¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡mystic¡¡¡¡¡¡initials¡¡¡¡¡¡were¡¡¡¡¡¡an¡¡
allusion¡¡to¡¡the¡¡pet¡¡name¡¡they¡¡had¡¡given¡¡him¡¡years¡¡before£»¡¡would¡¡accept¡¡no¡¡
meats¡¡but¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨Uncle¡¡¡¡¡¡Sam's£»¡¨¡¡¡¡¡¡murmuring¡¡if¡¡¡¡¡¡other¡¡viands¡¡¡¡¡¡were¡¡offered¡¡them¡£¡¡
Their¡¡comrades¡¡without¡¡inquiry¡¡followed¡¡this¡¡example£»¡¡until¡¡so¡¡strong¡¡did¡¡
the¡¡¡¡¡¡prejudice¡¡¡¡¡¡for¡¡¡¡¡¡food¡¡¡¡¡¡marked¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨U¡£S¡£¡¨¡¡¡¡¡¡become£»¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡¡¡other¡¡¡¡¡¡contractors£»¡¡¡¡¡¡in¡¡
order¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡¡¡their¡¡¡¡¡¡provisions¡¡¡¡¡¡should¡¡¡¡¡¡find¡¡¡¡¡¡favor¡¡¡¡¡¡with¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡soldiers£»¡¡¡¡¡¡took¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡
announcing¡¡¡¨Uncle¡¡Sam¡¨¡¡brands¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡To¡¡the¡¡greater¡¡part¡¡of¡¡the¡¡troops£»¡¡ignorant¡¡£¨as¡¡are¡¡most¡¡Americans¡¡to¡¡¡
day£©¡¡of¡¡the¡¡real¡¡origin¡¡of¡¡this¡¡pseudonym£»¡¡¡¨Uncle¡¡Sam's¡¨¡¡beef¡¡and¡¡bread¡¡
meant¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡merely¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡government¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡provisions£»¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡step¡¡¡¡¡¡from¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡national¡¡
belongings¡¡to¡¡an¡¡impersonation¡¡of¡¡our¡¡country¡¡by¡¡an¡¡ideal¡¡¡¨Uncle¡¡¡¡¡¡Sam¡¨¡¡
was¡¡but¡¡a¡¡logical¡¡sequence¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡In¡¡his¡¡vigorous¡¡old¡¡age£»¡¡Samuel¡¡Wilson¡¡again¡¡lived¡¡on¡¡Mount¡¡Ida£»¡¡near¡¡
the¡¡estates¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Warren¡¡family£»¡¡where¡¡as¡¡children¡¡we¡¡were¡¡taken¡¡to¡¡visit¡¡
his¡¡house¡¡and¡¡hear¡¡anecdotes¡¡of¡¡the¡¡aged¡¡patriot's¡¡hospitality¡¡and¡¡humor¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡3¡¡
¡¡¡Page¡¡4¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡THE¡¡WAYS¡¡OF¡¡MEN¡¡
The¡¡¡¡¡¡honor¡¡¡¡¡¡in¡¡¡¡¡¡which¡¡¡¡¡¡he¡¡¡¡¡¡was¡¡¡¡¡¡held¡¡¡¡¡¡by¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡country¡side£»¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡influence¡¡¡¡¡¡for¡¡
good¡¡he¡¡exerted£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡informal¡¡tribunal¡¡he¡¡held£»¡¡to¡¡which¡¡his¡¡neighbors¡¡
came¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡get¡¡their¡¡differences¡¡¡¡¡¡straightened¡¡¡¡¡¡out¡¡by¡¡¡¡his¡¡¡¡¡¡common¡¡¡¡¡¡sense£»¡¡¡¡are¡¡
still¡¡¡¡¡¡talked¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡by¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡older¡¡¡¡¡¡inhabitants¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡One¡¡¡¡¡¡story¡¡¡¡¡¡in¡¡¡¡¡¡particular¡¡¡¡¡¡used¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡
charm¡¡¡¡¡¡our¡¡¡¡¡¡boyish¡¡¡¡¡¡ears¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡It¡¡¡¡¡¡was¡¡¡¡¡¡about¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡¡¡dispute¡¡¡¡¡¡over¡¡¡¡¡¡land¡¡¡¡¡¡between¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡
Livingstons¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡Van¡¡¡¡¡¡Rensselaers£»¡¡¡¡¡¡which¡¡¡¡¡¡was¡¡¡¡¡¡brought¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡an¡¡¡¡¡¡end¡¡¡¡¡¡by¡¡
¡¨Uncle¡¡Sam's¡¨¡¡producing¡¡a¡¡barrel¡¡of¡¡old¡¡papers¡¡£¨confided¡¡to¡¡him¡¡by¡¡both¡¡
families¡¡during¡¡the¡¡war£»¡¡for¡¡safe¡¡keeping£©¡¡and¡¡extracting¡¡from¡¡this¡¡original¡¡
¡¨strong¡¡box¡¨¡¡title¡¡deeds¡¡to¡¡the¡¡property¡¡in¡¡litigation¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Now£»¡¡in¡¡these¡¡troubled¡¡times¡¡of¡¡ours£»¡¡when¡¡rumors¡¡of¡¡war¡¡are¡¡again¡¡in¡¡
the¡¡air£»¡¡one's¡¡thoughts¡¡revert¡¡with¡¡pleasure¡¡to¡¡the¡¡half¡mythical¡¡figure¡¡on¡¡
the¡¡threshold¡¡of¡¡the¡¡century£»¡¡and¡¡to¡¡legends¡¡of¡¡the¡¡clear¡eyed¡¡giant£»¡¡with¡¡
the¡¡¡¡¡¡quizzical¡¡¡¡¡¡smile¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡tender£»¡¡¡¡¡¡loyal¡¡¡¡¡¡heart£»¡¡¡¡¡¡whose¡¡¡¡¡¡life's¡¡¡¡¡¡work¡¡¡¡¡¡makes¡¡
him¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡¡¡more¡¡¡¡¡¡lovable¡¡¡¡¡¡model¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡¡¡nobler¡¡¡¡¡¡example¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡hold¡¡¡¡¡¡up¡¡¡¡¡¡before¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡
youth¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡day¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡than¡¡¡¡¡¡all¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡mythological¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡deities¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡ever¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡disported¡¡
themselves¡¡on¡¡the¡¡original¡¡Mount¡¡Ida¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡There¡¡is¡¡a¡¡singular¡¡fitness¡¡in¡¡this¡¡choice¡¡of¡¡¡¨Uncle¡¡Sam¡¨¡¡as¡¡our¡¡patron¡¡
saint£»¡¡for¡¡to¡¡be¡¡honest¡¡and¡¡loyal¡¡and¡¡modest£»¡¡to¡¡love¡¡little¡¡children£»¡¡to¡¡do¡¡
one's¡¡duty¡¡quietly¡¡in¡¡the¡¡heyday¡¡of¡¡life£»¡¡and¡¡become¡¡a¡¡mediator¡¡in¡¡old¡¡age£»¡¡
is¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡fulfil¡¡¡¡¡¡about¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡whole¡¡¡¡¡¡duty¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡man£»¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡every¡¡¡¡¡¡patriotic¡¡¡¡¡¡heart¡¡¡¡¡¡must¡¡
wish¡¡the¡¡analogy¡¡may¡¡be¡¡long¡¡maintained£»¡¡that¡¡our¡¡loved¡¡country£»¡¡like¡¡its¡¡
prototype£»¡¡¡¡¡¡may¡¡¡¡¡¡continue¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡protector¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡feeble¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡¡¡peace¡maker¡¡
among¡¡nations¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡4¡¡
¡¡¡Page¡¡5¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡THE¡¡WAYS¡¡OF¡¡MEN¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡CHAPTER¡¡2¡¡¡¡¡Domestic¡¡Despots¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡THOSE¡¡¡¡¡¡who¡¡¡¡¡¡walk¡¡¡¡¡¡through¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡well¡to¡do¡¡¡¡¡¡quarters¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡our¡¡¡¡¡¡city£»¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡
glance£»¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡perhaps¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡¡¡little¡¡¡¡enviously¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡as¡¡¡¡they¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡pass£»¡¡¡¡¡¡toward¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡cheerful¡¡
firesides£»¡¡do¡¡not¡¡reflect¡¡that¡¡in¡¡almost¡¡every¡¡one¡¡of¡¡these¡¡apparently¡¡happy¡¡
homes¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡¡¡pitiless¡¡¡¡¡¡tyrant¡¡¡¡¡¡reigns£»¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡¡¡misshapen¡¡¡¡¡¡monster¡¡¡¡¡¡without¡¡¡¡¡¡bowels¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡
compassion¡¡¡¡¡¡or¡¡¡¡¡¡thought¡¡¡¡¡¡beyond¡¡¡¡¡¡its¡¡¡¡¡¡own¡¡¡¡¡¡greedy¡¡¡¡¡¡appetites£»¡¡¡¡¡¡who¡¡¡¡¡¡sits¡¡¡¡¡¡like¡¡
Sinbad's¡¡awful¡¡burden¡¡on¡¡the¡¡necks¡¡of¡¡tender¡¡women¡¡and¡¡distracted¡¡men¡£¡¡
Sometimes¡¡this¡¡incubus¡¡takes¡¡the¡¡form¡¡of¡¡a¡¡pug£»¡¡sometimes¡¡of¡¡a¡¡poodle£»¡¡or¡¡
simply¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡bastard¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡cur¡¡¡¡¡¡admitted¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡family¡¡¡¡¡¡bosom¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡in¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡moment¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡
unreflecting¡¡¡¡¡¡pity£»¡¡¡¡¡¡size¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡pedigree¡¡¡¡¡¡are¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡no¡¡¡¡¡¡importance£»¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡result¡¡¡¡¡¡is¡¡
always¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡same¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡Once¡¡¡¡¡¡Caliban¡¡¡¡¡¡is¡¡¡¡¡¡installed¡¡¡¡¡¡in¡¡¡¡¡¡his¡¡stronghold£»¡¡¡¡¡¡peace¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡
independence¡¡desert¡¡that¡¡roof¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡We¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡read¡¡¡¡¡¡daily¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡fathers¡¡¡¡¡¡tyrannizing¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡over¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡trembling¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡families£»¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡
stepmothers¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡unnatural¡¡¡¡¡¡children¡¡¡¡¡¡turning¡¡¡¡¡¡what¡¡¡¡¡¡might¡¡¡¡¡¡be¡¡¡¡¡¡happy¡¡¡¡¡¡homes¡¡
into¡¡¡¡¡¡amateur¡¡¡¡¡¡Infernos£»¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡sigh£»¡¡¡¡¡¡as¡¡¡¡¡¡we¡¡¡¡¡¡think¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡martyrdoms¡¡¡¡¡¡endured¡¡¡¡¡¡by¡¡
overworked¡¡animals¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡It¡¡¡¡¡¡is¡¡¡¡cheering¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡know¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡¡¡societies¡¡¡¡¡¡have¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡been¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡formed¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡for¡¡¡¡the¡¡
protection¡¡of¡¡dumb¡¡brutes¡¡and¡¡helpless¡¡children¡£¡¡Will¡¡no¡¡attempt¡¡be¡¡made¡¡
to¡¡alleviate¡¡this¡¡other¡¡form¡¡of¡¡suffering£»¡¡which¡¡has¡¡apparently¡¡escaped¡¡the¡¡
eye¡¡of¡¡the¡¡reformer£¿¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡The¡¡animal¡¡kingdom¡¡is¡¡divided¡¡¡¡¡like¡¡all¡¡Gaul¡¡¡¡¡into¡¡three¡¡divisions£º¡¡
wild¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡beasts£»¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡are¡¡¡¡¡¡obliged¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡hustle¡¡¡¡¡¡for¡¡¡¡¡¡themselves£»¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡laboring¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡
producing¡¡animals£»¡¡for¡¡which¡¡man¡¡provides¡¡because¡¡they¡¡are¡¡useful¡¡to¡¡him¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡dogs£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Of¡¡¡¡¡¡all¡¡¡¡¡¡created¡¡¡¡¡¡things¡¡¡¡¡¡on¡¡¡¡¡¡our¡¡¡¡¡¡globe¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡canine¡¡¡¡¡¡race¡¡¡¡¡¡have¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡
softest¡¡¡¨snap¡£¡¨¡¡The¡¡more¡¡one¡¡thinks¡¡about¡¡this¡¡curious¡¡exception¡¡in¡¡their¡¡
favor¡¡the¡¡more¡¡unaccountable¡¡it¡¡appears¡£¡¡We¡¡neglect¡¡such¡¡wild¡¡things¡¡as¡¡
we¡¡do¡¡not¡¡slaughter£»¡¡and¡¡exact¡¡toil¡¡from¡¡domesticated¡¡animals¡¡in¡¡return¡¡for¡¡
their¡¡keep¡£¡¡Dogs¡¡alone£»¡¡shirking¡¡all¡¡cares¡¡and¡¡labor£»¡¡live¡¡in¡¡idle¡¡comfort¡¡at¡¡
man's¡¡expense¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡When¡¡that¡¡painful¡¡family¡¡jar¡¡broke¡¡up¡¡the¡¡little¡¡garden¡¡party¡¡in¡¡Eden¡¡
and¡¡forced¡¡our¡¡first¡¡parents¡¡to¡¡work¡¡or¡¡hunt¡¡for¡¡a¡¡living£»¡¡the¡¡original¡¡Dog¡¡
£¨equally¡¡¡¡¡¡disgusted¡¡¡¡¡¡with¡¡¡¡¡¡either¡¡¡¡¡¡alternative£©¡¡¡¡¡¡hit¡¡¡¡¡¡on¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡luminous¡¡¡¡¡¡idea¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡
posing¡¡as¡¡the¡¡champion¡¡of¡¡the¡¡disgraced¡¡couple£»¡¡and¡¡attached¡¡himself¡¡to¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡5¡¡
¡¡¡Page¡¡6¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡THE¡¡WAYS¡¡OF¡¡MEN¡¡
Adam¡¡and¡¡Eve£»¡¡not¡¡that¡¡he¡¡approved¡¡of¡¡their¡¡conduct£»¡¡but¡¡simply¡¡because¡¡
he¡¡foresaw¡¡that¡¡if¡¡he¡¡made¡¡himself¡¡companionable¡¡and¡¡cosy¡¡he¡¡would¡¡be¡¡
asked¡¡to¡¡stay¡¡to¡¡dinner¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡From¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡day¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡present£»¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡with¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡exception¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡occasionally¡¡
watching¡¡¡¡¡¡sheep¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡houses¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡¡¡lazy¡¡¡¡occupation¡¡¡¡¡¡at¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡best¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡¡¡little¡¡
light¡¡carting¡¡in¡¡Belgium¡¡£¨dogs¡¡were¡¡given¡¡up¡¡as¡¡turn¡spits¡¡centuries¡¡ago£»¡¡
because¡¡they¡¡performed¡¡that¡¡duty¡¡badly£©£»¡¡no¡¡canine¡¡has¡¡raised¡¡a¡¡paw¡¡to¡¡do¡¡
an¡¡honest¡¡day's¡¡work£»¡¡neither¡¡has¡¡any¡¡member¡¡of¡¡the¡¡genus¡¡been¡¡known¡¡
voluntarily¡¡to¡¡perform¡¡a¡¡useful¡¡act¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡How¡¡then¡¡¡¡¡one¡¡asks¡¡one's¡¡self¡¡in¡¡a¡¡wonder¡¡¡¡¡did¡¡the¡¡myth¡¡¡¡¡¡originate¡¡
that¡¡Dog¡¡was¡¡the¡¡friend¡¡of¡¡Man£¿¡¡Like¡¡a¡¡multitude¡¡of¡¡other¡¡fallacies¡¡taught¡¡
to¡¡¡¡¡¡innocen