the ways of men(人们的手段)-第15章
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THE WAYS OF MEN
was finished； so it never crossed the Channel； but can be seen to…day by
any one curious enough to examine it； in the Musee Carnavalet。
〃Few of us realize that the Paris of Charles X。 and Louis Philippe
would seem to us now a small； ill…paved； and worse… lighted provincial
town； with few theatres or hotels； communicating with the outer world
only by means of a horse… drawn ‘post；' and practically farther from
London than Constantinople is to…day。 One feels this isolation in the
literature of the time； brilliant as the epoch was； the horizon of its writers
was bounded by the boulevards and the Faubourg Saint…Germain。〃
Dumas says laughingly； in a letter to a friend： 〃I have never ventured
into the unexplored country beyond the Bastille； but am convinced that it
shelters wild animals and savages。〃 The wit and brains of the period were
concentrated into a small space。 Money…making had no more part in the
programme of a writer then than an introduction into 〃society。〃 Catering to
a foreign market and snobbishness were undreamed…of degradations。 Paris
had not yet been turned into the FOIRE DU MONDE that she has since
become； with whole quarters given over to the use of foreigners； … theatres；
restaurants； and hotels created only for the use of a polyglot population
that could give lessons to the people around Babel's famous 〃tower。〃
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CHAPTER 13 … Some American
Husbands
UNTIL the beginning of this century men played the BEAU ROLE in
life's comedy。 As in the rest of the animal world； our males were the
brilliant members of the community； flaunting their gaudy plumage at
home and abroad； while the women…folk remained in seclusion； tending
their children； directing the servants； or ministering to their lords' comfort。
In those happy days the husband ruled supreme at his own fireside；
receiving the homage of the family； who bent to his will and obeyed his
orders。
During the last century； however； the 〃part〃 of better half has become
less and less attractive in America； one prerogative after another having
been whisked away by enterprising wives。 Modern Delilahs have yearly
snipped off more and more of Samson's luxuriant curls； and added those
ornaments to their own COIFFURES； until in the majority of families the
husband finds himself reduced to a state of bondage compared with which
the biblical hero enjoyed a pampered idleness。 Times have indeed changed
in America since the native chief sat in dignified repose bedizened with all
the finery at hand； while the ladies of the family waited tremblingly upon
him。 To…day it is the American husband who turns the grindstone all the
year round； and it is his pretty tyrant who enjoys the elegant leisure that a
century ago was considered a masculine luxury。
To America must be given the credit of having produced the model
husband； a new species； as it were； of the GENUS HOMO。
In no role does a compatriot appear to such advantage as in that of
Benedict。 As a boy he is often too advanced for his years or his
information； in youth he is conspicuous neither for his culture nor his
unselfishness。 But once in matrimonial harness this untrained animal
becomes bridle…wise with surprising rapidity； and will for the rest of life
go through his paces； waltzing； kneeing； and saluting with hardly a touch
of the whip。 Whether this is the result of superior horse…womanship on the
part of American wives or a trait peculiar to sons of 〃Uncle Sam；〃 is hard
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THE WAYS OF MEN
to say； but the fact is self…evident to any observer that our fair equestrians
rarely meet with a rebellious mount。
Any one who has studied marital ways in other lands will realize that
in no country have the men effaced themselves so gracefully as with us。 In
this respect no foreign production can compare for a moment with the
domestic article。 In English； French； and German families the husband is
still all… powerful。 The house is mounted； guests are asked； and the year
planned out to suit his occupations and pleasure。 Here papa is rarely
consulted until such matters have been decided upon by the ladies； when
the head of the house is called in to sign the checks。
I have had occasion more than once to bewail the shortcomings of the
American man； and so take pleasure in pointing out the modesty and good
temper with which he fills this role。 He is trained from the beginning to
give all and expect nothing in return； an American girl rarely bringing any
DOT to her husband； no matter how wealthy her family may be。 If； as
occasionally happens； an income is allowed a bride by her parents； she
expects to spend it on her toilets or pleasures。 This condition of the
matrimonial market exists in no other country； even in England； where
MARIAGES DE CONVENANCE are rare； 〃settlements〃 form an
inevitable prelude to conjugal bliss。
The fact that she contributes little or nothing to the common income in
no way embarrasses an American wife； her pretensions are usually in an
inverse proportion to her personal means。 A man I knew some years ago
deliberately chose his bride from an impecunious family （in the hope that
her simple surroundings had inculcated homely taste）； and announced to
an incredulous circle of friends； at his last bachelor dinner； that he
intended； in future； to pass his evenings at his fireside； between his book
and his pretty spouse。 Poor； innocent； confiding mortal！ The wife quickly
became a belle of the fastest set in town。 Having had more than she
wanted of firesides and quiet evenings before her marriage； her idea was
to go about as much as possible； and； when not so occupied； to fill her
house with company。 It may be laid down as a maxim in this connection
that a man marries to obtain a home； and a girl to get away from one；
hence disappointment on both sides。
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The couple in question have in all probability not passed an evening
alone since they were married； the lady rarely stopping in the round of her
gayeties until she collapses from fatigue。 Their home is typical of their life；
which itself can be taken as a good example of the existence that most of
our 〃smart〃 people lead。 The ground floor and the first floor are given up
to entertaining。 The second is occupied by the spacious sitting； bath； and
sleeping rooms of the lady。 A ten…by…twelve chamber suffices for my lord；
and the only den he can rightly call his own is a small room near the front
door； about as private as the sidewalk； which is turned into a cloak…room
whenever the couple receive； making it impossible to keep books or
papers of value there； or even to use it as a smoking…room after dinner； so
his men guests sit around the dismantled dining…table while the ladies are
enjoying a suite of parlors above。
At first the idea of such an unequal division of the house shocks our
sense of justice； until we reflect that the American husband is not expected
to remain at home。 That's not his place！ If he is not down town making
money； fashion dictates that he must be at some club…house playing a
game。 A man who should remain at home； and read or chat with the ladies
of his family； would be considered a bore and unmanly。 There seems to be
no place in an American house for its head。 More than once when the
friend I have referred to has asked me； at the club； to dine informally with
him； we have found； on arriving； that Madame； having an evening off； had
gone to bed and forgotten to order any dinner； so we were obliged to
return to the club for our meal。 When； however； his wife is in good health；
she expects her weary husband to accompany her to dinner； opera； or ball；
night after night； oblivious of the work the morrow holds in store for him。
In one family I know； paterfamilias goes by the name of the 〃purse。〃
The more one sees of American households the more appropriate that
name appears。 Everything is expected of the husband； and he is accorded
no definite place in return。 He leaves the house at 8。30。 When he returns；
at five； if his wife is entertaining a man at tea； it would be considered the
height of indelicacy for him to intrude upon them； for his arrival would
cast a chill on the conversation。 When a couple dine out； the husband is
always LA BETE NOIRE of the hostess； no woman wanting to sit next to
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a married man； if she can help it。
The few Benedicts who have had the courage to break away from
these conditions and amuse themselves with yachts； salmon rivers； or
〃grass…bachelor〃 trips to Europe； while secretly admired by the women；
are frowned upon in society as dangerous examples； likely to sow the
seeds of discontent among their comrades； although it is the commonest
thing in the world for an American wife to take the children and go abroad
on a tour。
Imagine a German or Italian wife announcing to her spouse that she
had decided to run over to England for a year with her children； that they
might learn English。 The mind recoils in horror from the idea of the
catastrophe that would ensue。
Glance around a ball…room； a dinner party； or the opera； if you have
any doubts as to the unselfishness of our married men。 How many of them
do you suppose are present for their own pleasure？ The owner of an opera
box rarely retains a seat in his expensive quarters。 You generally find him
idling in the lobbies
