passages from an old volume of life-第6章
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let me tell him that I learned a lesson from his active benevolence。 I could； however； have wished to hear him laugh once before we parted； perhaps forever。 He did not； to the best of my recollection； even smile during the whole period that we were in company。 I am afraid that a lightsome disposition and a relish for humor are not so common in those whose benevolence takes an active turn as in people of sentiment； who are always ready with their tears and abounding in passionate expressions of sympathy。 Working philanthropy is a practical specialty； requiring not a mere impulse； but a talent； with its peculiar sagacity for finding its objects； a tact for selecting its agencies； an organizing and art ranging faculty； a steady set of nerves； and a constitution such as Sallust describes in Catiline； patient of cold； of hunger； and of watching。 Philanthropists are commonly grave； occasionally grim； and not very rarely morose。 Their expansive social force is imprisoned as a working power； to show itself only through its legitimate pistons and cranks。 The tighter the boiler； the less it whistles and sings at its work。 When Dr。 Waterhouse； in 1780； travelled with Howard； on his tour among the Dutch prisons and hospitals； he found his temper and manners very different from what would have been expected。
My benevolent companion having already made a preliminary exploration of the hospitals of the place； before sharing my bed with him； as above mentioned； I joined him in a second tour through them。 The authorities of Middletown are evidently leagued with the surgeons of that place； for such a break…neck succession of pitfalls and chasms I have never seen in the streets of a civilized town。 It was getting late in the evening when we began our rounds。 The principal collections of the wounded were in the churches。 Boards were laid over the tops of the pews； on these some straw was spread； and on this the wounded lay； with little or no covering other than such scanty clothes as they had on。 There were wounds of all degrees of severity； but I heard no groans or murmurs。 Most of the sufferers were hurt in the limbs； some had undergone amputation； and all had； I presume； received such attention as was required。 Still； it was but a rough and dreary kind of comfort that the extemporized hospitals suggested。 I could not help thinking the patients must be cold； but they were used to camp life； and did not complain。 The men who watched were not of the soft…handed variety of the race。 One of them was smoking his pipe as he went from bed to bed。 I saw one poor fellow who had been shot through the breast； his breathing was labored； and he was tossing； anxious and restless。 The men were debating about the opiate he was to take； and I was thankful that I happened there at the right moment to see that he was well narcotized for the night。 Was it possible that my Captain could be lying on the straw in one of these places？ Certainly possible； but not probable； but as the lantern was held over each bed； it was with a kind of thrill that I looked upon the features it illuminated。 Many times as I went from hospital to hospital in my wanderings； I started as some faint resemblance；…the shade of a young man's hair； the outline of his half…turned face；recalled the presence I was in search of。 The face would turn towards me； and the momentary illusion would pass away； but still the fancy clung to me。 There was no figure huddled up on its rude couch； none stretched at the roadside； none toiling languidly along the dusty pike； none passing in car or in ambulance； that I did not scrutinize； as if it might be that for which I was making my pilgrimage to the battlefield。
〃There are two wounded Secesh；〃 said my companion。 I walked to the bedside of the first； who was an officer； a lieutenant； if I remember right； from North Carolina。 He was of good family； son of a judge in one of the higher courts of his State； educated； pleasant； gentle； intelligent。 One moment's intercourse with such an enemy； lying helpless and wounded among strangers； takes away all personal bitterness towards those with whom we or our children have been but a few hours before in deadly strife。 The basest lie which the murderous contrivers of this Rebellion have told is that which tries to make out a difference of race in the men of the North and South。 It would be worth a year of battles to abolish this delusion； though the great sponge of war that wiped it out were moistened with the best blood of the land。 My Rebel was of slight； scholastic habit； and spoke as one accustomed to tread carefully among the parts of speech。 It made my heart ache to see him； a man finished in the humanities and Christian culture； whom the sin of his forefathers and the crime of his rulers had set in barbarous conflict against others of like training with his own；a man who； but for the curse which our generation is called on to expiate； would have taken his part in the beneficent task of shaping the intelligence and lifting the moral standard of a peaceful and united people。
On Sunday morning； the twenty…first； having engaged James Grayden and his team； I set out with the Chaplain and the Philanthropist for Keedysville。 Our track lay through the South Mountain Gap； and led us first to the town of Boonsborough； where； it will be remembered； Colonel Dwight had been brought after the battle。 We saw the positions occupied in the battle of South Mountain； and many traces of the conflict。 In one situation a group of young trees was marked with shot； hardly one having escaped。 As we walked by the side of the wagon； the Philanthropist left us for a while and climbed a hill； where； along the line of a fence； he found traces of the most desperate fighting。 A ride of some three hours brought us to Boonsborough； where I roused the unfortunate army surgeon who had charge of the hospitals； and who was trying to get a little sleep after his fatigues and watchings。 He bore this cross very creditably； and helped me to explore all places where my soldier might be lying among the crowds of wounded。 After the useless search； I resumed my journey； fortified with a note of introduction to Dr。 Letterman； also with a bale of oakum which I was to carry to that gentleman； this substance being employed as a substitute for lint。 We were obliged also to procure a pass to Keedysville from the Provost Marshal of Boonsborough。 As we came near the place； we learned that General McClellan's head quarters had been removed from this village some miles farther to the front。
On entering the small settlement of Keedysville； a familiar face and figure blocked the way； like one of Bunyan's giants。 The tall form and benevolent countenance； set off by long； flowing hair； belonged to the excellent Mayor Frank B。 Fay of Chelsea； who； like my Philanthropist； only still more promptly； had come to succor the wounded of the great battle。 It was wonderful to see how his single personality pervaded this torpid little village； he seemed to be the centre of all its activities。 All my questions he answered clearly and decisively； as one who knew everything that was going on in the place。 But the one question I had come five hundred miles to ask； Where is Captain H。？he could not answer。 There were some thousands of wounded in the place； he told me； scattered about everywhere。 It would be a long job to hunt up my Captain； the only way would be to go to every house and ask for him。 Just then a medical officer came up。
〃Do you know anything of Captain H。 of the Massachusetts Twentieth？〃
〃Oh yes； he is staying in that house。 I saw him there； doing very well。〃
A chorus of hallelujahs arose in my soul； but I kept them to myself。 Now； then； for our twice…wounded volunteer； our young centurion whose double…barred shoulder…straps we have never yet looked upon。 Let us observe the proprieties； however； no swelling upward of the mother； no hysterica passio； we do not like scenes。 A calm salutation； then swallow and hold hard。 That is about the programme。
A cottage of squared logs； filled in with plaster； and whitewashed。 A little yard before it； with a gate swinging。 The door of the cottage ajar；no one visible as yet。 I push open the door and enter。 An old woman； Margaret Kitzmuller her name proves to be； is the first person I see。
〃Captain H。 here？ 〃
〃Oh no； sir；left yesterday morning for Hagerstown；in a milk… cart。〃
The Kitzmuller is a beady…eyed； cheery…looking ancient woman； answers questions with a rising inflection； and gives a good account of the Captain； who got into the vehicle without assistance； and was in excellent spirits。 Of course he had struck for Hagerstown as the terminus of the Cumberland Valley Railroad； and was on his way to Philadelphia； via Chambersburg and Harrisburg； if he were not already in the hospitable home of Walnut Street； where his friends were expecting him。
I might follow on his track or return upon my own； the distance was the same to Philadelphia through Harrisburg as through Baltimore。 But it was very difficult； Mr。 Fay told me； to procure any kind of conveyance to Hagerstown； and； on the other hand； I had James Grayden and his wagon to carry me back to Frederick。 It was not likely that I should overtake the object of my pursuit with nearly thirty…six hours start； even if I could procure a conveyance that day。 In the mean time James was getting impatient to be on his return； according to the direction of his employers。 So I decided to go back with him。
But there was the great battle…field only about three miles from Keedysville； and it was impossible to go without seeing that。 James Grayden's directions were peremptory； but it was a case for the higher law。 I must make a good offer for an extra couple of hours； such as would satisfy the owners of the wagon； and enforce it by a personal motive。 I did this handsomely； and succeeded without difficulty。 To add brilliancy to my enterprise； I invited the Chaplain and the Philanthropist to take a free passage with me。
We followed the road through the village for a space； then turned off to the right； and wandered somewhat vaguely； for want of precise directions； over the hills。 Inquiring as we went； we forded a wide creek in which soldiers were washing their clothes； the name of which we did not then know； but which must have been the Antietam。 At one point we met a party； women among them； bringing off various trophies they had picked up on the battlefield。 Still wandering along； we were at last pointed to a hill in the distance； a part of the summit of which was covered with Indian corn。 There； we were told； some of the fiercest fighting of the day had been done。 The fences were taken down so as to make a passage across the fields； and the tracks worn within the last few days looked like old roads。 We passed a fresh grave under a tree near the road。 A board was nailed to the tree； bearing the name； as well as I could make it out； of Gardiner； of a New Hampshire regiment。
On coming near the brow of the hill； we met a party carrying picks and spades。 〃How many？ 〃Only one。〃 The dead were nearly all buried； then； in this region of the field of strife。 We stopped the wagon； and； getting out； began to look a
