尤利西斯-第148章

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　brought　me　that　twice　I　remember　when　I　came　to　page　50　the　part　about　where　she　hangs　him　up　out　of　a　hook　with　a　cord　flagellate　sure　theres　nothing　for　a　woman　in　that　all　invention　made　up　about　he　drinking　the　champagne　out　of　her　slipper　after　the　ball　was　over　like　the　infant　Jesus　In　the　crib　at　Inchicore　in　the　Blessed　Virgins　arms　sure　no　woman　could　have　a　child　that　big　taken　out　of　her　and　I　thought　first　it　came　out　of　her　side　because　how　could　she　go　to　the　chamber　when　she　wanted　to　and　she　a　rich　lady　of　course　she　felt　honoured　H。　R。　H。　he　was　in　Gibraltar　the　year　I　gas　born　I　bet　he　found　lilies　there　too　where　he　planted　the　tree　he　planted　more　than　that　in　his　time　he　might　have　planted　me　too　if　hed　e　a　bit　sooner　then　I　wouldnt　be　here　as　I　am　he　ought　to　chuck　that　Freeman　with　the　paltry　few　shillings　he　knocks　out　of　it　and　go　into　an　office　or　something　where　hed　get　regular　pay　or　a　bank　where　they　could　put　him　up　on　a　throne　to　count　the　money　all　the　day　of　course　he　prefers　plottering　about　the　house　so　you　cant　stir　with　him　any　side　whats　your　programme　today　I　wish　hed　even　smoke　a　pipe　like　father　to　get　the　smell　of　a　man　or　pretending　to　be　mooching　about　for　advertisements　when　he　could　have　been　in　Mr　Cuffes　still　only　for　what　he　did　then　sending　me　to　try　and　patch　it　up　I　could　have　got　him　promoted　there　to　be　the　manager　he　gave　me　a　great　mirada　once　or　twice　first　he　was　as　stiff　as　the　mischief　really　and　truly　Mrs　Bloom　only　I　felt　rotten　simply　with　the　old　rubbishy　dress　that　I　lost　the　leads　out　of　the　tails　with　no　cut　in　it　but　theyre　ing　into　fashion　again　I　bought　it　simply　to　please　him　I　knew　it　was　no　good　by　the　finish　pity　I　changed　my　mind　of　going　to　Todd　and　Burns　as　I　said　and　not　Lees　it　was　just　like　the　shop　itself　rummage　sale　a　lot　of　trash　I　hate　those　rich　shops　get　on　your　nerves　nothing　kills　me　altogether　only　he　thinks　he　knows　a　great　lot　about　a　womans　dress　and　cooking　mathering　everything　he　can　scour　off　the　shelves　into　it　if　I　went　by　his　advices　every　blessed　hat　I　put　on　does　that　suit　me　yes　take　that　thats　alright　the　one　like　a　wedding　cake　standing　up　miles　off　my　head　he　said　suited　me　or　the　dishcover　one　ing　down　on　my　backside　on　pins　and　needles　about　the　shop　girl　in　that　place　in　Grafton　street　I　had　the　misfortune　to　bring　him　into　and　she　as　insolent　as　ever　she　could　be　with　her　smirk　saying　Im　afraid　were　giving　you　too　much　trouble　whats　she　there　for　but　I　stared　it　out　of　her　yes　he　was　awfully　stiff　and　no　wonder　but　he　changed　the　second　time　he　looked　Poldy　pigheaded　as　usual　like　the　soup　but　I　could　see　him　looking　very　hard　at　my　chest　when　he　stood　up　to　open　the　door　for　me　it　was　nice　of　him　to　show　me　out　in　any　case　Im　extremely　sorry　Mrs　Bloom　believe　me　without　making　it　too　marked　the　first　time　after　him　being　insulted　and　me　being　supposed　to　be　his　wife　I　just　half　smiled　I　know　my　chest　was　out　that　way　at　the　door　when　he　said　Im　extremely　sorry　and　Im　sure　you　were　
yes　I　think　he　made　them　a　bit　firmer　sucking　them　like　that　so　long　be　made　me　thirsty　titties　he　calls　them　I　had　to　laugh　yes　this　one　anyhow　stiff　the　nipple　gets　for　the　least　thing　Ill　get　him　to　keep　that　up　and　Ill　take　those　eggs　beaten　up　with　marsala　fatten　them　out　for　him　what　are　all　those　veins　and　things　curious　the　way　its　made　2　the　same　in　case　of　twins　theyre　supposed　to　represent　beauty　placed　up　there　like　those　statues　in　the　museum　one　of　them　pretending　to　hide　it　with　her　hand　are　they　so　beautiful　of　course　pared　with　what　a　man　looks　like　with　his　two　bags　full　and　his　other　thing　hanging　down　out　of　him　or　sticking　up　at　you　like　a　hatrack　no　wonder　they　hide　it　with　a　cabbageleaf　the　woman　is　beauty　of　course　thats　admitted　when　he　said　I　could　pose　for　a　picture　naked　to　some　rich　fellow　in　Holles　street　when　he　lost　the　job　in　Helys　and　I　was　selling　the　clothes　and　strumming　in　the　coffee　palace　would　I　be　like　that　bath　of　the　nymph　with　my　hair　down　yes　only　shes　younger　or　Im　a　little　like　that　dirty　bitch　in　that　Spanish　photo　he　has　the　nymphs　used　they　go　about　like　that　I　asked　him　that　disgusting　Cameron　highlander　behind　the　meat　market　or　that　other　wretch　with　the　red　head　behind　the　tree　where　the　statue　of　the　fish　used　to　be　when　I　was　passing　pretending　he　was　pissing　standing　out　for　me　to　see　it　with　his　babyclothes　up　to　one　side　the　Queens　own　they　were　a　nice　lot　its　well　the　Surreys　relieved　them　theyre　always　trying　to　show　it　to　you　every　time　nearly　I　passed　outside　the　mens　greenhouse　near　the　Harcourt　street　station　just　to　try　some　fellow　or　other　trying　to　catch　my　eye　or　if　it　was　1　of　the　7　wonders　of　the　world　O　and　the　stink　of　those　rotten　places　the　night　ing　home　with　Poldy　after　the　erfords　party　oranges　and　lemonade　to　make　you　feel　nice　and　watery　I　went　into　1　of　them　it　was　so　biting　cold　I　couldnt　keep　it　when　was　that　93　the　canal　was　frozen　yes　it　was　a　few　months　after　a　pity　a　couple　of　the　Camerons　werent　there　to　see　me　squatting　in　the　mens　place　meadero　I　tried　to　draw　a　picture　of　it　before　I　tore　it　up　like　a　sausage　or　something　I　wonder　theyre　not　afraid　going　about　of　getting　a　kick　or　a　bang　or　something　there　and　that　word　met　something　with　hoses　in　it　and　he　came　out　with　some　jawbreakers　about　the　incarnation　he　never　can　explain　a　thing　simply　the　way　a　body　can　understand　then　he　goes　and　burns　the　bottom　out　of　the　pan　all　for　his　Kidney　this　one　not　so　much　theres　the　mark　of　his　teeth　still　where　he　tried　to　bite　the　nipple　I　had　to　scream　out　arent　they　fearful　trying　to　hurt　you　I　had　a　great　breast　of　milk　with　Milly　enough　for　two　what　was　the　reason　of　that　he　said　I　could　have　got　a　pound　a　week　as　a　wet　nurse　all　swelled　out　the　morning　that　delicate　looking　student　that　stopped　in　No　28　with　the　Citrons　Penrose　nearly　caught　me　washing　through　the　window　only　for　I　snapped　up　the　towel　to　my　face　that　was　his　studenting　hurt　me　they　used　to　weaning　her　till　he　got　doctor　Brady　to　give　me　the　Belladonna　prescription　I　had　to　get　him　to　suck　them　they　were　so　hard　he　said　it　was　sweeter　and　thicker　than　cows　then　he　wanted　to　milk　me　into　the　tea　well　hes　beyond　everything　I　declare　somebody　ought　to　put　him　in　the　budget　if　I　only　could　remember　the　one　half　of　the　things　and　write　a　book　out　of　it　the　works　of　Master　Poldy　yes　and　its　so　much　smoother　the　skin　much　an　hour　he　was　at　them　Im　sure　by　the　clock　like　some　kind　of　a　big　infant　I　had　at　me　they　want　everything　in　their　mouth　all　the　pleasure　those　men　get　out　of　a　woman　I　can　feel　his　mouth　O　Lord　I　must　stretch　myself　I　wished　he　was　here　or　somebody　to　let　myself　go　with　and　e　again　like　that　I　feel　all　fire　inside　me　or　if　I　could　dream　it　when　he　made　me　spend　the　2nd　time　tickling　me　behind　with　his　finger　I　was　ing　for　about　5　minutes　with　my　legs　round　him　I　had　to　hug　him　after　O　Lord　I　wanted　to　shout　out　all　sorts　of　things　fuck　or　shit　or　anything　at　all　only　not　to　look　ugly　or　those　lines　from　the　strain　who　knows　the　way　hed　take　it　you　want　to　feel　your　way　with　a　man　theyre　not　all　like　him　thank　God　some　of　them　want　you　to　be　so　nice　about　it　I　noticed　the　contrast　he　does　it　and　doesnt　talk　I　gave　my　eyes　that　look　with　my　hair　a　bit　loose　from　the　tumbling　and　my　tongue　between　my　lips　up　to　him　the　savage　brute　Thursday　Friday　one　Saturday　two　Sunday　three　O　Lord　I　cant　wait　till　Monday　
frseeeeeeeefronnnng　train　somewhere　whistling　the　strength　those　engines　have　in　them　like　big　giants　and　the　water　rolling　all　over　and　out　of　them　all　sides　like　the　end　of　Loves　old　sweet　synnnng　the　poor　men　that　have　to　be　out　all　the　night　from　their　wives　and　families　in　those　roasting　engines　stifling　it　was　today　Im　glad　I　burned　the　half　of　those　old　Freemans　and　Photo　bits　leaving　things　like　that　lying　around　hes　getting　very　careless　and　threw　the　rest　of　them　up　in　the　W　C　Ill　get　him　to　cut　them　tomorrow　for　me　instead　of　having　them　there　for　the　next　year　to　get　a　few　pence　for　them　have　him　asking　wheres　last　Januarys　paper　and　all　those　old　overcoats　I　bundled　out　of　the　hall　making　the　place　hotter　than　it　is　the　rain　was　lovely　just　after　my　beauty　sleep　I　thought　it　was　going　to　get　like　Gibraltar　my　goodness　the　heat　there　before　the　levanter　came　on　black　as　night　and　the　glare　of　the　rock　standing　up　in　it　like　a　big　giant　pared　with　their　3　Rock　mountain　they　think　is　so　great　with　the　red　sentries　here　and　there　the　poplars　and　they　all　whitehot　and　the　mosquito　nets　and　the　smell　of　the　rainwater　in　those　tanks　watching　the　sun　all　the　time　weltering　down　on　you　faded　all　that　lovely　frock　fathers　friend　Mrs　Stanhope　sent　me　from　the　B　Marche　Paris　what　a　shame　my　dearest　Doggerina　she　wrote　on　what　she　was　very　nice　whats　this　her　other　name　was　just　a　P　C　to　tell　you　I　sent　the　little　present　have　just　had　a　jolly　warm　bath　and　feel　a　very　clean　dog　now　enjoyed　it　wogger　she　called　him　wogger　wd　give　anything　to　be　back　in　Gib　and　hear　you　sing　in　old　Madrid　or　Waiting　Concone　is　the　name　of　those　exercises　he　bought　me　one　of　those　new　some　word　Icouldn't　make　out　shawls　amusing　things　but　tear　for　the　least　thing　still　theyre　lovely　I　think　dont　you　will　always　think　of　the　lovely　teas　we　had　together　scrumptious　currant　scones　and　raspberry　wafers　I　adore　well　now　dearest　Doggerina　be　sure　and　write　soon　kind　she　left　out　regards　to　your　father　also　Captain　Grove　with　love　yrs　affly　x　x　x　x　x　she　didnt　look　a　bit　married　just　like　a　girl　he　was　years　older　than　her　wogger　he　was　awfully　fond　of　me　when　he　held　down　the　wire　with　his　foot　for　me　to　step　over　at　the　bullfight　at　La　Linea　when　that　matador　Gomez　was　given　the　bulls　ear　clothes　we　have　to　wear　whoever　invented　them　expecting　you　to　walk　up　Killiney　hill　then　for　example　at　that　picnic　all　staysed　up　you　cant　do　a　blessed　thing　in　them　in　a　crowd　run　or　jump　out　of　the　way　thats　why　I　was　afraid　when　that　other　ferocious　old　Bull　began　to　charge　the　banderillos　with　the　sashes　and　the　2　things　in　their　hats　and　the　brutes　of　men　shouting　bravo　toro　sure　the　women　were　as　bad　in　their　nice　white　mantillas　ripping　all　the　whole　insides　out　of　those　poor　horses　I　never　heard　of　such　a　thing　in　all　my　life　yes　he　used　to　break　his　heart　at　me　taking　off　the　dog　barking　in　bell　lane　poor　brute　and　it　sick　what　became　of　them　ever　I　suppose　theyre　dead　long　ago　the　2　of　them　its　like　all　through　a　mist　makes　you　feel　so　old　I　made　the　scones　of　course　I　had　everything　all　to　myself　then　a　girl　Hester　we　used　to　pare　our　hair　mine　was　thicker　than　hers　she　showed　me　how　to　settle　it　at　the　back　when　I　put　it　up　and　whats　this　else　how　to　make　a　knot　on　a　thread　with　the　one　hand　we　were　like　cousins　what　age　was　I　then　the　night　of　the　storm　I　slept　in　her　bed　she　had　her　arms　round　me　then　we　were　fighting　in　the　morning　with　the　pillow　what　fun　he　was　watching　me　whenever　he　got　an　opportunity　at　the　band　on　the　Alameda　esplanade　when　I　was　with　father　and　Captain　Grove　I　looked　up　at　the　church　first　and　then　at　the　windows　then　down　and　our　eyes　met　I　felt　something　go　through　me　like　all　needles　my　eyes　were　dancing　I　remember　after　when　I　looked　at　myself　in　the　glass　hardly　recognised　myself　the