尤利西斯-第153章

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ttle　barrelly　man　that　bit　his　tongue　off　falling　down　the　mens　W　C　drunk　in　some　place　or　other　and　Martin　Cunningham　and　the　two　Dedaluses　and　Fanny　MCoys　husband　white　head　of　cabbage　skinny　thing　with　a　turn　in　her　eye　trying　to　sing　my　songs　shed　want　to　be　born　all　over　again　and　her　old　green　dress　with　the　lowneck　as　she　cant　attract　them　any　other　way　like　dabbling　on　a　rainy　day　I　see　it　all　now　plainly　and　they　call　that　friendship　killing　and　then　burying　one　another　and　they　all　with　their　wives　and　families　at　home　more　especially　Jack　Power　keeping　that　barmaid　he　does　of　course　his　wife　always　sick　or　going　to　be　sick　or　just　getting　better　of　it　and　hes　a　good…looking　man　still　though　hes　getting　a　bit　grey　over　the　ears　theyre　a　nice　lot　all　of　them　well　theyre　not　going　to　get　my　husband　again　into　their　clutches　if　I　can　help　it　making　fun　of　him　then　behind　his　back　I　know　well　when　he　goes　on　with　his　idiotics　because　he　has　sense　enough　not　to　squander　every　penny　piece　he　earns　down　their　gullets　and　looks　after　his　wife　and　family　goodfornothings　poor　Paddy　Dignam　all　the　same　Im　sorry　in　a　way　for　him　what　are　his　wife　and　5　children　going　to　do　unless　he　was　insured　ical　little　teetotum　always　stuck　up　in　some　pub　corner　and　her　or　her　son　waiting　Bill　Bailey　wont　you　please　e　home　her　widows　weeds　wont　improve　her　appearance　theyre　awfully　being　though　if　youre　goodlooking　what　men　wasn't　he　yes　he　was　at　the　Glencree　dinner　and　Ben　Dollard　base　barreltone　the　night　he　borrowed　the　swallowtail　to　sing　out　of　in　Holles　street　squeezed　and　squashed　into　them　and　grinning　all　over　his　big　Dolly　face　like　a　wellwhipped　childs　botty　didnt　he　look　a　balmy　ballocks　sure　enough　that　must　have　been　a　spectacle　on　the　stage　imagine　paying　5/…　in　the　preserved　seats　for　that　to　see　him　and　Simon　Dedalus　too　he　was　always　turning　up　half　screwed　singing　the　second　verse　first　the　old　love　is　the　new　was　one　of　his　so　sweetly　sang　the　maiden　on　the　hawthorn　bough　he　was　always　on　for　flirtyfying　too　when　I　sang　Maritana　with　him　at　Freddy　Mayers　private　opera　he　had　a　delicious　glorious　voice　Phbe　dearest　goodbye　sweetheart　he　always　sang　it　not　like　Bartell　dArcy　sweet　tart　goodbye　of　course　he　had　the　gift　of　the　voice　so　there　was　no　art　in　it　all　over　you　like　a　warm　showerbath　O　Maritana　wildwood　flower　we　sang　splendidly　though　it　was　a　bit　too　high　for　my　register　even　transposed　and　he　was　married　at　the　time　to　May　Goulding　but　then　hed　say　or　do　something　to　knock　the　good　out　of　it　hes　a　widower　now　I　wonder　what　sort　is　his　son　he　says　hes　an　author　and　going　to　be　a　university　professor　of　Italian　and　Im　to　take　lessons　what　is　he　driving　at　now　showing　him　my　photo　its　not　good　of　me　I　ought　to　have　got　it　taken　in　drapery　that　never　looks　out　of　fashion　still　I　look　young　in　it　I　wonder　he　didnt　make　him　a　present　of　it　altogether　and　me　too　after　all　why　not　I　saw　him　driving　down　to　the　Kingsbridge　station　with　his　father　and　mother　I　was　in　mourning　thats　11　years　ago　now　yes　hed　be　11　though　what　was　the　good　in　going　into　mourning　for　what　was　neither　one　thing　nor　the　other　of　course　he　insisted　hed　go　into　mourning　for　the　cat　I　suppose　hes　a　man　now　by　this　time　he　was　an　innocent　boy　then　and　a　darling　little　fellow　in　his　lord　Fauntleroy　suit　and　curly　hair　like　a　prince　on　the　stage　when　I　saw　him　at　Mat　Dillons　he　liked　me　too　I　remember　they　all　do　wait　by　God　yes　wait　yes　hold　on　he　was　on　the　cards　this　morning　when　I　laid　out　the　deck　union　with　a　young　stranger　neither　dark　nor　fair　you　met　before　I　thought　it　meant　him　but　hes　no　chicken　nor　a　stranger　either　besides　my　face　was　turned　the　other　way　what　was　the　7th　card　after　that　the　10　of　spaces　for　a　Journey　by　land　then　there　was　a　letter　on　its　way　and　scandals　too　the　3　queens　and　the　8　of　diamonds　for　a　rise　in　society　yes　wait　it　all　came　out　and　2　red　8s　for　new　garments　look　at　that　and　didnt　I　dream　something　too　yes　there　was　something　about　poetry　in　it　I　hope　he　hasnt　long　greasy　hair　hanging　into　his　eyes　or　standing　up　like　a　red　Indian　what　do　they　go　about　like　that　for　only　getting　themselves　and　their　poetry　laughed　at　I　always　liked　poetry　when　I　was　a　girl　first　I　thought　he　was　a　poet　like　Byron　and　not　an　ounce　of　it　in　his　position　I　thought　he　was　quite　different　I　wonder　is　he　too　young　hes　about　wait　88　I　was　married　88　Milly　is　15　yesterday　89　what　age　was　he　then　at　Dillons　5　or　6　about　88　I　suppose　hes　20　or　more　Im　not　too　old　for　him　if　hes　23　or　24　I　hope　hes　not　that　stuck　up　university　student　sort　no　otherwise　he　wouldnt　go　sitting　down　in　the　old　kitchen　with　him　taking　Eppss　cocoa　and　taking　of　course　he　pretended　to　understand　it　all　probably　he　told　him　he　was　out　of　Trinity　college　hes　very　young　to　be　a　professor　I　hope　hes　not　a　professor　like　Goodwin　was　he　was　a　patent　professor　of　John　Jameson　they　all　write　about　some　woman　in　their　poetry　well　I　suppose　he　wont　find　many　like　me　where　softly　sighs　of　love　the　light　guitar　where　poetry　is　in　the　air　the　blue　sea　and　the　moon　shining　so　beautifully　ing　back　on　the　nightboat　from　Tarifa　the　lighthouse　at　Europa　point　the　guitar　that　fellow　played　was　so　expressive　will　I　never　go　back　there　again　all　new　faces　two　glancing　eyes　a　lattice　hid　Ill　sing　that　for　him　theyre　my　eyes　if　hes　anything　of　a　poet　two　eyes　as　darkly　bright　as　loves　own　star　arent　those　beautiful　words　as　loves　young　star　itll　be　a　change　the　Lord　knows　to　have　an　intelligent　person　to　talk　to　about　yourself　not　always　listening　to　him　and　Billy　Prescotts　ad　and　Keyess　ad　and　Tom　the　Devils　ad　then；　if　anything　goes　wrong　in　their　business　we　have　to　suffer　Im　sure　hes　very　distinguished　Id　like　to　meet　a　man　like　that　God　not　those　other　ruck　besides　hes　young　those　fine　young　men　I　could　see　down　in　Margate　strand　bathing　place　from　the　side　of　the　rock　standing　up　in　the　sun　naked　like　a　God　or　something　and　then　plunging　into　the　sea　with　them　why　arent　all　men　like　that　thered　be　some　consolation　for　a　woman　like　that　lovely　little　statue　he　bought　I　could　look　at　him　all…day　long　curly　head　and　his　shoulders　his　finger　up　for　you　to　listen　theres　real　beauty　and　poetry　for　you　I　often　felt　I　wanted　to　kiss　him　all　over　also　his　lovely　young　cock　there　so　simply　I　wouldnt　mind　taking　him　in　my　mouth　if　nobody　was　looking　as　if　it　was　asking　you　to　suck　it　so　clean　and　white　he　looked　with　his　boyish　face　I　would　too　in　1/2　a　minute　even　if　some　of　it　went　down　what　its　only　like　gruel　or　the　dew　theres　no　danger　besides　hed　be　so　clean　pared　with　those　pigs　of　men　I　suppose　never　dream　of　washing　it　from　1　years　end　to　the　other　the　most　of　them　only　thats　what　gives　the　women　the　moustaches　Im　sure　itll　be　grand　if　I　can　only　get　in　with　a　handsome　young　poet　at　my　age　Ill　throw　them　the　1st　thing　in　the　morning　till　I　see　if　the　wishcard　es　out　or　Ill　try　pairing　the　lady　herself　and　see　if　he　es　out　Ill　read　and　study　all　I　can　find　or　learn　a　bit　off　by　heart　if　I　knew　who　he　likes　so　he　wont　think　me　stupid　if　he　thinks　all　women　are　the　same　and　I　can　teach　him　the　other　part　Ill　make　him　feel　all　over　him　till　he　half　faints　under　me　then　hell　write　about　me　lover　and　mistress　publicly　too　with　our　2　photographs　in　all　the　papers　when　he　bees　famous　O　but　then　what　am　I　going　to　do　about　him　though　
no　thats　no　way　for　him　has　he　no　manners　nor　no　refinement　nor　no　nothing　in　his　nature　slapping　us　behind　like　that　on　my　bottom　because　I　didn't　call　him　Hugh　the　ignoramus　that　doesnt　know　poetry　from　a　cabbage　thats　what　you　get　for　notkeeping　them　in　their　proper　place　pulling　off　his　shoes　and　trousers　there　on　the　chair　before　me　so　barefaced　without　even　asking　permission　and　standing　out　that　vulgar　way　in　the　half　of　a　shirt　they　wear　to　be　admired　like　a　priest　or　a　butcher　or　those　old　hypocrites　in　the　time　of　Julius　Caesar　of　course　hes　right　enough　in　his　way　to　pass　the　time　as　a　joke　sure　you　might　as　well　be　in　bed　with　what　with　a　lion　God　Im　sure　hed　have　something　better　to　say　for　himself　an　old　Lion　would　O　well　I　suppose　its　because　they　were　so　plump　and　tempting　in　my　short　petticoat　he　couldnt　resist　they　excite　myself　sometimes　its　well　for　men　all　the　amount　of　pleasure　they　get　off　a　womans　body　were　so　round　and　white　for　them　always　I　wished　I　was　one　myself　for　a　change　just　to　try　with　that　thing　they　have　swelling　upon　you　so　hard　and　at　the　same　time　so　soft　when　you　touch　it　my　uncle　John　has　a　thing　long　I　heard　those　cornerboys　saying　passing　the　corner　of　Marrowbone　lane　my　aunt　Mary　has　a　thing　hairy　because　it　was　dark　and　they　knew　a　girl　was　passing　it　didnt　make　me　blush　why　should　it　either　its　only　nature　and　he　puts　his　thing　long　into　my　aunt　Marys　hairy　etcetera　and　turns　out　to　be　you　put　the　handle　in　a　sweepingbrush　men　again　all　over　they　can　pick　and　choose　what　they　please　a　married　woman　or　a　fast　widow　or　a　girl　for　their　different　tastes　like　those　houses　round　behind　Irish　street　no　but　were　to　be　always　chained　up　theyre　not　going　to　be　chaining　me　up　no　damn　fear　once　I　start　I　tell　you　for　stupid　husbands　jealousy　why　cant　we　all　remain　friends　over　it　instead　of　quarrelling　her　husband　found　it　out　what　they　did　together　well　naturally　and　if　he　did　can　he　undo　it　hes　coronado　anyway　whatever　he　does　and　then　he　going　to　the　other　mad　extreme　about　the　wife　in　Fair　Tyrants　of　course　the　man　never　even　casts　a　2nd　thought　on　the　husband　or　wife　either　its　the　woman　he　wants　and　he　gets　her　what　else　were　we　given　all　those　desires　for　Id　like　to　know　I　cant　help　it　if　Im　young　still　can　I　its　a　wonder　Im　not　an　old　shrivelled　hag　before　my　time　living　with　him　so　cold　never　embracing　me　except　sometimes　when　hes　asleep　the　wrong　end　of　me　not　knowing　I　suppose　who　he　has　any　man　thatd　kiss　a　womans　bottom　Id　throw　my　hat　at　him　after　that　hed　kiss　anything　unnatural　where　we　havent　1　atom　of　any　kind　of　expression　in　us　all　of　us　the　same　2　lumps　of　lard　before　ever　I　do　that　to　a　man　pfooh　the　dirty　brutes　the　mere　thought　is　enough　I　kiss　the　feet　of　you　senorita　theres　some　sense　in　that　didnt　he　kiss　our　halldoor　yes　he　did　what　a　madman　nobody　understands　his　cracked　ideas　but　me　still　of　course　a　woman　wants　to　be　embraced　20　times　a　day　almost　to　make　her　look　young　no　matter　by　who　so　long　as　to　be　in　love　or　loved　by　somebody　if　the　fellow　you　want　isnt　there　sometimes　by　the　Lord　God　I　was　thinking　would　I　go　around　by　the　quays　there　some　dark　evening　where　nobodyd　know　me　and　pick　up　a　sailor　off　the　sea　thatd　be　hot　on　for　it　and　not　care　a　pin　whose　I　was　only　to　do　it　off　up　in　a　gate　somewhere　or　one　of　those　wildlooking　gipsies　in　Rathfarnham　had　their　camp　pitched　near　the　Bloomfield　laundry　to　try　and　steal　our　things　if　they　could　I　only　sent　mine　there　a　few　times　for　the　name　model　laundry　sending　me　back　over　and　over　some　old　ones　old　stockings　that　blackguardlooking　fellow　with　the　fine　eyes　peeling　a　switch　attack　me　in　the　dark　and　ride　me　up　against　the　wall　without　a　word　or　a　murderer　anybody　what　they　do　themselves　the　fine　gentlemen　in　their　silk　hats　that　K　C　lives　up　somewhere　this　way　ing　out　of　Hardwicke　lane　the　night　he　gave　us　the　fish　supper　on　account　of　winning　over　the