尤利西斯-第154章

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is　way　ing　out　of　Hardwicke　lane　the　night　he　gave　us　the　fish　supper　on　account　of　winning　over　the　boxing　match　of　course　it　was　for　me　he　gave　it　I　knew　him　by　his　gaiters　and　the　walk　and　when　I　turned　round　a　minute　after　just　to　see　there　was　a　woman　after　ing　out　of　it　too　some　filthy　prostitute　then　he　goes　home　to　his　wife　after　that　only　I　suppose　the　half　of　those　sailors　are　rotten　again　with　disease　O　move　over　your　big　carcass　out　of　that　for　the　love　of　Mike　listen　to　him　the　winds　that　waft　my　sighs　to　thee　so　well　he　may　sleep　and　sigh　the　great　Suggester　Don　Poldo　de　la　Flora　if　he　knew　how　he　came　out　on　the　cards　this　morning　hed　have　something　to　sigh　for　a　dark　man　in　some　perplexity　between　2　7s　too　in　prison　for　Lord　knows　what　he　does　that　I　dont　know　and　Im　to　be　slooching　around　down　in　the　kitchen　to　get　his　lordship　his　breakfast　while　hes　rolled　up　like　a　mummy　will　I　indeed　did　you　ever　see　me　running　Id　just　like　to　see　myself　at　it　show　them　attention　and　they　treat　you　like　dirt　I　dont　care　what　anybody　says　itd　be　much　better　for　the　world　to　be　governed　by　the　women　in　it　you　wouldnt　see　women　going　and　killing　one　another　and　slaughtering　when　do　you　ever　see　women　rolling　around　drunk　like　they　do　or　gambling　every　penny　they　have　and　losing　it　on　horses　yes　because　a　woman　whatever　she　does　she　knows　where　to　stop　sure　they　wouldn't　be　in　the　world　at　all　only　for　us　they　dont　know　what　it　is　to　be　a　woman　and　a　mother　how　could　they　where　would　they　all　of　them　be　if　they　hadnt　all　a　mother　to　look　after　them　what　I　never　had　thats　why　I　suppose　hes　running　wild　now　out　at　night　away　from　his　books　and　studies　and　not　living　at　home　on　account　of　the　usual　rowdy　house　I　suppose　well　its　a　poor　case　that　those　that　have　a　fine　son　like　that　theyre　not　satisfied　and　I　none　was　he　not　able　to　make　one　it　wasnt　my　fault　we　came　together　when　I　was　watching　the　two　dogs　up　in　her　behind　in　the　middle　of　the　naked　street　that　disheartened　me　altogether　I　suppose　I　oughtnt　to　have　buried　him　in　that　little　woolly　jacket　I　knitted　crying　as　was　but　give　it　to　some　poor　child　but　I　knew　well　Id　never　have　another　our　1st　death　too　it　was　we　were　never　the　same　since　O　Im　not　going　to　think　myself　into　the　glooms　about　that　any　more　I　wonder　why　he　wouldnt　stay　the　night　I　felt　all　the　time　it　was　somebody　strange　he　brought　in　instead　of　roving　around　the　city　meeting　God　knows　who　nightwalkers　and　pickpockets　his　poor　mother　wouldnt　like　that　if　she　was　alive　ruining　himself　for　life　perhaps　still　its　a　lovely　hour　so　silent　I　used　to　love　ing　home　after　dances　the　air　of　the　night　they　have　friends　they　can　talk　to　weve　none　either　he　wants　what　he　wont　get　or　its　some　woman　ready　to　stick　her　knife　in　you　I　hate　that　in　women　no　wonder　they　treat　us　the　way　they　do　we　are　a　dreadful　lot　of　bitches　I　suppose　its　all　the　troubles　we　have　makes　us　so　snappy　Im　not　like　that　he　could　easy　have　slept　in　there　on　the　sofa　in　the　other　room　suppose　he　was　as　shy　as　a　boy　he　being　so　young　hardly　20　of　me　in　the　next　room　hed　have　heard　me　on　the　chamber　arrah　what　harm　Dedalus　I　wonder　its　like　those　names　in　Gibraltar　Delapaz　Delagracia　they　had　the　devils　queer　names　there　father　Vial　plana　of　Santa　Maria　that　gave　me　the　rosary　Rosales　y　OReilly　in　the　Calle　las　Siete　Revueltas　and　Pisimbo　and　Mrs　Opisso　in　Governor　street　O　what　a　name　Id　go　and　drown　myself　in　the　first　river　if　I　had　a　name　like　her　O　my　and　all　the　bits　of　streets　Paradise　ramp　and　Bedlam　ramp　and　Rodgers　ramp　and　Crutchetts　ramp　and　the　devils　gap　steps　well　small　blame　to　me　if　I　am　a　harumscarum　I　know　I　am　a　bit　I　declare　to　God　I　dont　feel　a　day　older　than　then　I　wonder　could　I　get　my　tongue　round　any　of　the　Spanish　o　esta　usted　muy　bien　gracias　y　usted　see　I　haven't　forgotten　it　all　I　thought　I　had　only　for　the　grammar　a　noun　is　the　name　of　any　person　place　or　thing　pity　I　never　tried　to　read　that　novel　cantankerous　Mrs　Rubio　lent　me　by　Valera　with　the　questions　in　it　all　upside　down　the　two　ways　I　always　knew　wed　go　away　in　the　end　I　can　tell　him　the　Spanish　and　he　tell　me　the　Italian　then　hell　see　Im　not　so　ignorant　what　a　pity　he　didnt　stay　Im　sure　the　poor　fellow　was　dead　tired　and　wanted　a　good　sleep　badly　I　could　have　brought　him　in　his　breakfast　in　bed　with　a　bit　of　toast　so　long　as　I　didnt　do　it　on　the　knife　for　bad　luck　or　if　the　woman　was　going　her　rounds　with　the　watercress　and　something　nice　and　tasty　there　are　a　few　olives　in　the　kitchen　he　might　like　I　never　could　bear　the　look　of　them　in　Abrines　I　could　do　the　criada　the　room　looks　all　right　since　I　changed　it　the　other　way　you　see　something　was　telling　me　all　the　time　Id　have　to　introduce　myself　not　knowing　me　from　Adam　very　funny　wouldnt　it　Im　his　wife　or　pretend　we　were　in　Spain　with　him　half　awake　without　a　Gods　notion　where　he　is　dos　huevos　estrellados　senor　Lord　the　cracked　things　e　into　my　head　sometimes　itd　be　great　fun　supposing　he　stayed　with　us　why　not　theres　the　room　upstairs　empty　and　Millys　bed　in　the　back　room　he　could　do　his　writing　and　studies　at　the　table　in　there　for　all　the　scribbling　he　does　at　it　and　if　he　wants　to　read　in　bed　in　the　morning　like　me　as　hes　making　the　breakfast　for　I　he　can　make　it　for　2　Im　sure　Im　not　going　to　take　in　lodgers　off　the　street　for　him　if　he　takes　a　gesabo　of　a　house　like　this　Id　love　to　have　a　long　talk　with　an　intelligent　well…educated　person　Id　have　to　get　a　nice　pair　of　red　slippers　like　those　Turks　with　the　fez　used　to　sell　or　yellow　and　a　nice　semitransparent　morning　gown　that　I　badly　want　or　a　peachblossom　dressing　jacket　like　the　one　long　ago　in　Walpoles　only　8/6　or　18/6　Ill　just　give　him　one　more　chance　Ill　get　up　early　in　the　morning　Im　sick　of　Cohens　old　bed　in　any　case　I　might　go　over　to　the　markets　to　see　all　the　vegetables　and　cabbages　and　tomatoes　and　carrots　and　all　kinds　of　splendid　fruits　all　ing　in　lovely　and　fresh　who　knows　whod　be　the　1st　man　Id　meet　theyre　out　looking　for　it　in　the　morning　Mamy　Dillon　used　to　say　they　are　and　the　night　too　that　was　her　massgoing　Id　love　a　big　juicy　pear　now　to　melt　in　your　mouth　like　when　I　used　to　be　in　the　longing　way　then　Ill　throw　him　up　his　eggs　and　tea　in　the　moustachecup　she　gave　him　to　make　his　mouth　bigger　I　suppose　hed　like　my　nice　cream　too　I　know　what　Ill　do　Ill　go　about　rather　gay　not　too　much　singing　a　bit　now　and　then　mi　fa　pieti　Masetto　then　Ill　start　dressing　myself　to　go　out　presto　non　son　pill　forte　Ill　put　on　my　best　shift　and　drawers　let　him　have　a　good　eyeful　out　of　that　to　make　his　micky　stand　for　him　Ill　let　him　know　if　thats　what　he　wanted　that　his　wife　is　fucked　yes　and　damn　well　fucked　too　up　to　my　neck　nearly　not　by　him　5　or　6　times　handrunning　theres　the　mark　of　his　spunk　on　the　clean　sheet　I　wouldnt　bother　to　even　iron　it　out　that　ought　to　satisfy　him　if　you　dont　believe　me　feel　my　belly　unless　I　made　him　stand　there　and　put　him　into　me　Ive　a　mind　to　tell　him　every　scrap　and　make　him　do　it　in　front　of　me　serve　him　right　its　all　his　own　fault　if　I　am　an　adulteress　as　the　thing　in　the　gallery　said　O　much　about　it　if　thats　all　the　harm　ever　we　did　in　this　vale　of　tears　God　knows　its　not　much　doesnt　everybody　only　they　hide　it　I　suppose　thats　what　a　woman　is　supposed　to　be　there　for　or　He　wouldnt　have　made　us　the　way　He　did　so　attractive　to　men　then　if　he　wants　to　kiss　my　bottom　Ill　drag　open　my　drawers　and　bulge　it　right　out　in　his　face　as　large　as　life　he　can　stick　his　tongue　7　miles　up　my　hole　as　hes　there　my　brown　part　then　Ill　tell　him　I　want　#1　or　perhaps　30/…　Ill　tell　him　I　want　to　buy　underclothes　then　if　he　gives　me　that　well　he　wont　be　too　bad　I　dont　want　to　soak　it　all　out　of　him　like　other　women　do　I　could　often　have　written　out　a　fine　cheque　for　myself　and　write　his　name　on　it　for　a　couple　of　pounds　a　few　times　he　forgot　to　lock　it　up　besides　he　wont　spend　it　Ill　let　him　do　it　off　on　me　behind　provided　he　doesnt　smear　all　my　good　drawers　O　I　suppose　that　cant　be　helped　Ill　do　the　indifferent　I　or　2　questions　Ill　know　by　the　answers　when　hes　like　that　he　cant　keep　a　thing　back　I　know　every　turn　in　him　Ill　tighten　my　bottom　well　and　let　out　a　few　smutty　words　smellrump　or　lick　my　shit　or　the　first　mad　thing　es　into　my　head　then　Ill　suggest　about　yes　O　wait　now　sonny　my　turn　is　ing　Ill　be　quite　gay　and　friendly　over　it　O　but　I　was　forgetting　this　bloody　pest　of　a　thing　pfooh　you　wouldn't　know　which　to　laugh　or　cry　were　such　a　mixture　of　plum　and　apple　no　Ill　have　to　wear　the　old　things　so　much　the　better　itll　be　more　pointed　hell　never　know　whether　he　did　it　nor　not　there　thats　good　enough　for　you　any　old　thing　at　all　then　Ill　wipe　him　off　me　just　like　a　business　his　omission　then　Ill　go　out　Ill　have　him　eyeing　up　at　the　ceiling　where　is　she　gone　now　make　him　want　me　thats　the　only　way　a　quarter　after　what　an　unearthly　hour　I　suppose　theyre　just　getting　up　in　China　now　bing　out　their　pigtails　for　the　day　well　soon　have　the　nuns　ringing　the　angelus　theyve　nobody　ing　in　to　spoil　their　sleep　except　an　odd　priest　or　two　for　his　night　office　the　alarmclock　next　door　at　cockshout　clattering　the　brains　out　of　itself　let　me　see　if　I　can　dose　off　1　2　3　4　5　what　kind　of　flowers　are　those　they　invented　like　the　stars　the　wallpaper　in　Lombard　street　was　much　nicer　the　apron　he　gave　me　was　like　that　something　only　I　only　wore　it　twice　better　lower　this　lamp　and　try　again　so　as　I　can　get　up　early　Ill　go　to　Lambes　there　beside　Findlaters　and　get　them　to　send　us　some　flowers　to　put　about　the　place　in　case　he　brings　him　home　tomorrow　today　I　mean　no　no　Fridays　an　unlucky　day　first　I　want　to　do　the　place　up　someway　the　dust　grows　in　it　I　think　while　Im　asleep　then　we　can　have　music　and　cigarettes　I　can　acpany　him　first　I　must　clean　the　keys　of　the　piano　with　milk　whatll　I　wear　shall　I　wear　a　white　rose　or　those　fairy　cakes　in　Liptons　I　love　the　smell　of　a　rich　big　shop　at　71/2d　a　lb　or　the　other　ones　with　the　cherries　in　them　and　the　pinky　sugar　lid　a　couple　of　lbs　of　course　a　nice　plant　for　the　middle　of　the　table　Id　get　that　cheaper　in　wait　wheres　this　I　saw　them　not　long　ago　I　love　flowers　Id　love　to　have　the　whole　place　swimming　in　roses　God　of　heaven　theres　nothing　like　nature　the　wild　mountains　then　the　sea　and　the　waves　rushing　then　the　beautiful　country　with　fields　of　oats　and　wheat　and　all　kinds　of　things　and　all　the　fine　cattle　going　about　that　would　do　your　heart　good　to　see　rivers　and　lakes　and　flowers　all　sorts　of　shapes　and　smells　and　colours　springing　up　even　out　of　the　ditches　primroses　and　violets　nature　it　is　as　for　them　saying　theres　no　God　I　wouldnt　give　a　snap　of　my　two　fingers　for　all　their　learning　why　dont　they　go　and　create　something　I　often　asked　him　atheists　or　whatever　they　call　themselves　go　and　wash　the　cobbles　off　themselves　first　then　they　go　howling　for　the　priest　and　they　dying　and　why　why　because　theyre　afraid　of　hell　on　account　of　their　bad　conscience　ah　yes　I　know　them　well　who　was　the　first　person　in　the　universe　before　there　was　anybody　that　made　it　all　who　ah　that　they　dont　know　neither　do　I　so　there　you　are　they　might　as　well　try　to　stop　the　sun　from　rising　tomorrow　the　sun　shines　for　you　he　said　the　day　we　were　lying　among　the　rhododendrons　on　Howth　head　in　the　grey　tweed　suit　and　his　straw　hat　the　day　I　got　hi