尤利西斯-第57章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


And　lo；　there　entered　one　of　the　clan　of　the　O'Molloys；　a　ely　hero　of　white　face　yet　withal　somewhat　ruddy；　his　majesty's　counsel　learned　in　the　law；　and　with　him　the　prince　and　heir　of　the　noble　line　of　Lambert。　
　Hello；　Ned。　
　Hello；　Alf。　
　Hello；　Jack。　
　Hello；　Joe。　
　God　save　you；　says　the　citizen。　
　Save　you　kindly；　says　J。　J。　What'll　it　be；　Ned？　
　Half　one；　says　Ned。　
So　J。　J。　ordered　the　drinks。　
　Were　you　round　at　the　court？　says　Joe。　
　Yes；　says　J。　J。　He'll　square　that；　Ned；　says　he。　
　Hope　so；　says　Ned。　
Now　what　were　those　two　at？　J。　J。　getting　him　off　the　grand　jury　list　and　the　other　give　him　a　leg　over　the　stile。　With　his　name　in　Stubbs's。　Playing　cards；　hobnobbing　with　flash　toffs　with　a　swank　glass　in　their　eye；　drinking　fizz　and　he　half　smothered　in　writs　and　garnishee　orders。　Pawning　his　gold　watch　in　Cummins　of　Francis　street　where　no…one　would　know　him　in　the　private　office　when　I　was　there　with　Pisser　releasing　his　boots　out　of　the　pop。　What's　your　name；　sir？　Dunne；　says　he。　Ay；　and　done；　says　I。　Gob；　ye'll　e　home　by　weeping　cross　one　of　these　days；　I'm　thinking。　
　Did　you　see　that　bloody　lunatic　Breen　round　there；　says　Alf。　U。　p。　up。　
　Yes；　says　J。　J。　Looking　for　a　private　detective。　
　Ay；　says　Ned；　and　he　wanted　right　go　wrong　to　address　the　court　only　Corny　Kelleher　got　round　him　telling　him　to　get　the　handwriting　examined　first。　
　Ten　thousand　pounds；　says　Alf　laughing。　God　I'd　give　anything　to　hear　him　before　a　judge　and　jury。　
　Was　it　you　did　it；　Alf？　says　Joe。　The　truth；　the　whole　truth　and　nothing　but　the　truth；　so　help　you　Jimmy　Johnson。　
　Me？　says　Alf。　Don't　cast　your　nasturtiums　on　my　character。　
　Whatever　statement　you　make；　says　Joe；　will　be　taken　down　in　evidence　against　you。　
　Of　course　an　action　would　lie；　says　J。　J。　It　implies　that　he　is　not　pos　mentis。　U。　p。　up。　
　pos　your　eye！　says　Alf；　laughing。　Do　you　know　that　he's　balmy？　Look　at　his　head。　Do　you　know　that　some　mornings　he　has　to　get　his　hat　on　with　a　shoehorn？　
　Yes；　says　J。　J。；　but　the　truth　of　a　libel　is　no　defence　to　an　indictment　for　publishing　it　in　the　eyes　of　the　law。　
　Ha；　ha；　Alf；　says　Joe。　
　Still；　says　Bloom；　on　account　of　the　poor　woman；　I　mean　his　wife。　
　Pity　about　her；　says　the　citizen。　Or　any　other　woman　marries　a　half　and　half。　
　How　half　and　half？　says　Bloom。　Do　you　mean　he。　
　Half　and　half　I　mean；　says　the　citizen。　A　fellow　that's　neither　fish　nor　flesh。　
　Nor　good　red　herring；　says　Joe。　
　That　what's　I　mean；　says　the　citizen。　A　pishogue；　if　you　know　what　that　is。　
Begob　I　saw　there　was　trouble　ing。　And　Bloom　explained　he　meant；　on　account　of　it　being　cruel　for　the　wife　having　to　go　round　after　the　old　stuttering　fool。　Cruelty　to　animals　so　it　is　to　let　that　bloody　povertystricken　Breen　out　on　grass　with　his　beard　out　tripping　him；　bringing　down　the　rain。　And　she　with　her　nose　cockahoop　after　she　married　him　because　a　cousin　of　his　old　fellow's　was　pew　opener　to　the　pope。　Picture　of　him　on　the　wall　with　his　smashall　sweeney's　moustaches。　The　signor　Brini　from　Summerhill；　the　eyetallyano；　papal　zouave　to　the　Holy　Father；　has　left　the　quay　and　gone　to　Moss　street。　And　who　was　he；　tell　us？　A　nobody；　two　pair　back　and　passages；　at　seven　shillings　a　week；　and　he　covered　with　all　kinds　of　breastplates　bidding　defiance　to　the　world。　
　And　moreover；　says　J。　J。；　a　postcard　is　publication。　It　was　held　to　be　sufficient　evidence　of　malice　in　the　testcase　Sadgrove　v。　Hole。　In　my　opinion　an　action　might　lie。　
Six　and　eightpence；　please。　Who　wants　your　opinion？　Let　us　drink　our　pints　in　peace。　Gob；　we　won't　be　let　even　do　that　much　itself。　
　Well；　good　health；　Jack；　says　Ned。　
　Good　health；　Ned；　says　J。　J。　
　There　he　is　again；　says　Joe。　
　Where？　says　Alf。　
And　begob　there　he　was　passing　the　door　with　his　books　under　his　oxter　and　the　wife　beside　him　and　Corny　Kelleher　with　his　wall　eye　looking　in　as　they　went　past；　talking　to　him　like　a　father；　trying　to　sell　him　a　secondhand　coffin。　
　How　did　that　Canada　swindle　case　go　off？　says　Joe。　
　Remanded；　says　J。　J。　
One　of　the　bottlenosed　fraternity　it　was　went　by　the　name　of　James　Wought　alias　Saphiro　alias　Spark　and　Spiro；　put　an　ad　in　the　papers　saying　he'd　give　a　passage　to　Canada　for　twenty　bob。　What？　Do　you　see　any　green　in　the　white　of　my　eye？　Course　it　was　a　bloody　barney。　What？　Swindled　them　all；　skivvies　and　badhachs　from　the　county　Meath；　ay；　and　his　own　kidney　too。　J。　J。　was　telling　us　there　was　an　ancient　Hebrew　Zaretsky　or　something　weeping　in　the　witnessbox　with　his　hat　on　him；　swearing　by　the　holy　Moses　he　was　stuck　for　two　quid。　
　Who　tried　the　case？　says　Joe。　
　Recorder；　says　Ned。　
　Poor　old　sir　Frederick；　says　Alf；　you　can　cod　him　up　to　the　two　eyes。　
　Heart　as　big　as　a　lion；　says　Ned。　Tell　him　a　tale　of　woe　about　arrears　of　rent　and　a　sick　wife　and　a　squad　of　kids　and；　faith；　he'll　dissolve　in　tears　on　the　bench。　
　Ay；　says　Alf。　Reuben　J。　was　bloody　lucky　he　didn't　clap　him　in　the　dock　the　other　day　for　suing　poor　little　Gumley　that's　minding　stones　for　the　corporation　there　near　Butt　bridge。　
And　he　starts　taking　off　the　old　recorder　letting　on　to　cry：　
　A　most　scandalous　thing！　This　poor　hardworking　man！　How　many　children？　Ten；　did　you　say？　
　Yes；　your　worship。　And　my　wife　has　the　typhoid！　
　And　a　wife　with　typhoid　fever！　Scandalous！　Leave　the　court　immediately；　sir。　No；　sir；　I'll　make　no　order　for　payment。　How　dare　you；　sir；　e　up　before　me　and　ask　me　to　make　an　order！　A　poor　hardworking　industrious　man！　I　dismiss　the　case。　
And　whereas　on　the　sixteenth　day　of　the　month　of　the　oxeyed　goddess　and　in　the　third　week　after　the　feastday　of　the　Holy　and　Undivided　Trinity；　the　daughter　of　the　skies；　the　virgin　moon　being　then　in　her　first　quarter；　it　came　to　pass　that　those　learned　judges　repaired　them　to　the　halls　of　law。　There　master　Courtenay；　sitting　in　his　own　chamber；　gave　his　rede　and　master　Justice　Andrews　sitting　without　a　jury　in　the　probate　court；　weighed　well　and　pondered　the　claims　of　the　first　chargeant　upon　the　property　in　the　matter　of　the　will　propounded　and　final　testamentary　disposition　in　re　the　real　and　personal　estate　of　the　late　lamented　Jacob　Halliday；　vintner；　deceased　versus　Livingstone；　an　infant；　of　unsound　mind；　and　another。　And　to　the　solemn　court　of　Green　street　there　came　sir　Frederick　the　Falconer。　And　he　sat　him　there　about　the　hour　of　five　o'clock　to　administer　the　law　of　the　brehons　at　the　mission　for　all　that　and　those　parts　to　be　holden　in　and　for　the　county　of　the　city　of　Dublin。　And　there　sat　with　him　the　high　sinhedrim　of　the　twelve　tribes　of　Iar；　for　every　tribe　one　man；　of　the　tribe　of　Patrick　and　of　the　tribe　of　Hugh　and　of　the　tribe　of　Owen　and　of　the　tribe　of　Conn　and　of　the　tribe　of　Oscar　and　of　the　tribe　of　Fergus　and　of　the　tribe　of　Finn　and　of　the　tribe　of　Dermot　and　of　the　tribe　of　Cormac　and　of　the　tribe　of　Kevin　and　of　the　tribe　of　Caolte　and　of　the　tribe　of　Ossian；　there　being　in　all　twelve　good　men　and　true。　And　he　conjured　them　by　Him　who　died　on　rood　that　they　should　well　and　truly　try　and　true　delivrance　make　in　the　issue　joined　between　their　sovereign　lord　the　King　and　the　prisoner　at　the　bar　and　true　verdict　give　according　to　the　evidence　so　help　them　God　and　kiss　the　books。　And　they　rose　in　their　seats；　those　twelve　of　Iar；　and　they　swore　by　the　name　of　Him　who　is　from　everlasting　that　they　would　do　His　rightwiseness。　And　straightway　the　minions　of　the　law　led　forth　from　their　donjon　keep　one　whom　the　sleuthhounds　of　justice　had　apprehended　in　consequence　of　information　received。　And　they　shackled　him　hand　and　foot　and　would　take　of　him　ne　bail　ne　mainprise　but　preferred　a　charge　against　him　for　he　was　a　malefactor。　
　Those　are　nice　things；　says　the　citizen；　ing　over　here　to　Ireland　filling　the　country　with　bugs。　
So　Bloom　lets　on　he　heard　nothing　and　he　starts　talking　with　Joe　telling　him　he　needn't　trouble　about　that　little　matter　till　the　first　but　if　he　would　just　say　a　word　to　Mr　Crawford。　And　so　Joe　swore　high　and　holy　by　this　and　by　that　he'd　do　the　devil　and　all。　
　Because　you　see；　says　Bloom；　for　an　advertisement　you　must　have　repetition。　That's　the　whole　secret。　
　Rely　on　me；　says　Joe。　
　Swindling　the　peasants；　says　the　citizen；　and　the　poor　of　Ireland。　We　want　no　more　strangers　in　our　house。　
　O　I'm　sure　that　will　be　all　right；　Hynes；　says　Bloom。　It's　just　that　Keyes　you　see。　
　Consider　that　done；　says　Joe。　
　Very　kind　of　you；　says　Bloom。　
　The　strangers；　says　the　citizen。　Our　own　fault。　We　let　them　e　in。　We　brought　them。　The　adulteress　and　her　paramour　brought　the　Saxon　robbers　here。　
　Decree　nisi；　says　J。　J。　
And　Bloom　letting　on　to　be　awfully　deeply　interested　in　nothing；　a　spider's　web　in　the　corner　behind　the　barrel；　and　the　citizen　scowling　after　him　and　the　old　dog　at　his　feet　looking　up　to　know　who　to　bite　and　when。　
　A　dishonoured　wife；　says　the　citizen；　that's　what's　the　cause　of　all　our　misfortunes。　
　And　here　she　is；　says　Alf；　that　was　giggling　over　the　Police　Gazette　with　Terry　on　the　counter；　in　all　her　warpaint。　　Give　us　a　squint　at　her；　says　I。　
And　what　was　it　only　one　of　the　smutty　yankee　pictures　Terry　borrows　off　of　Corny　Kelleher。　Secrets　for　enlarging　your　private　parts。　Misconduct　of　society　belle。　Norman　W。　Tupper；　wealthy　Chicago　contractor；　finds　pretty　but　faithless　wife　in　lap　of　officer　Taylor。　Belle　in　her　bloomers　misconducting　herself　and　her　fancy　man　feeling　for　her　tickles　and　Norman　W。　Tupper　bouncing　in　with　his　peashooter　just　in　time　to　be　late　after　she　doing　the　trick　of　the　loop　with　officer　Taylor。　
　O　Jakers；　Jenny；　says　Joe；　how　short　your　shirt　is！　
　There's　hair；　Joe；　says　I。　Get　a　queer　old　tailend　of　corned　beef　off　of　that　one；　what？　
So　anyhow　in　came　John　Wyse　Nolan　and　Lenehan　with　him　with　a　face　on　him　as　long　as　a　late　breakfast。　
　Well；　says　the　citizen；　what's　the　latest　from　the　scene　of　action？　What　did　those　tinkers　in　the　cityhall　at　their　caucus　meeting　decide　about　the　Irish　language？　
O'Nolan；　clad　in　shining　armour；　low　bending　made　obeisance　to　the　puissant　and　high　and　mighty　chief　of　all　Erin　and　did　him　to　wit　of　that　which　had　befallen；　how　that　the　grave　elders　of　the　most　obedient　city；　second　of　the　realm；　had　met　them　in　the　tholsel；　and　there；　after　due　prayers　to　the　gods　who　dwell　in　ether　supernal；　had　taken　solemn　counsel　whereby　they　might；　if　so　be　it　might　be；　bring　once　more　into　honour　among　mortal　men　the　winged　speech　of　the　seadivided　Gael。　
　It's　on　the　march；　says　the　citizen。　To　hell　with　the　bloody　brutal　Sassenachs　and　their　patois。　
So　J。　J。　puts　in　a　word　doing　the　toff　about　one　story　was　good　till　you　heard　another　and　blinking　facts　and　the　Nelson　policy　putting　your　blind　eye　to　the　telescope　and　drawing　up　a　bill　of　attainder　to　impeach　a　nation　and　Bloom　trying　to　back　him　up　moderation　and　botheration　and　their　colonies　and　their　civilisation。　
　Their　syphilisation；　you　mean；　says　the　citizen。　To　hell　with　them！　The　curse　of　a　goodfornothing　God　light　sideways　on　the　bloody　thicklugged　sons　of　whores'　gets！　No　music　and　no　art　and　no　literature　worthy　of　the　name。　Any　civilisation　they　have　they　stole　from　us。　Tonguetied　sons　of　bastards'　ghosts。　
　The　European　family；　says　J。　J。。。　
　They're　not　European；　says　the　citizen。　I　was　in　Europe　with　Kevi