尤利西斯-第82章

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BLOOM　（Off　handedly。）　Kosher。　A　snack　for　supper。　The　home　without　potted　meat　is　inplete。　I　was　at　Leah。　Mrs　Bandman　Palmer。　Trenchant　exponent　of　Shakespeare。　Unfortunately　threw　away　the　programme。　Rattling　good　place　round　there　for　pig's　feet。　Feel。　
（Richie　Goulding；　three　ladies'　hats　pinned　on　his　head；　appears　weighted　to　one　side　by　the　black　legal　bag　of　Collis　and　Ward　on　which　a　skull　and　crossbones　are　painted　in　white　limewash。　He　ins　it　and　shows　it　full　of　polonies；　kippered；　herrings；　Findon　haddies　and　tightpacked　pills。）　
RICHIE　Best　value　in　Dub。　
（Bald　Pat；　bothered　beetle；　stands　on　the　curbstone；　folding　his　napkin；　waiting　to　wait。）　
PAT　（Advances　with　a　tilted　dish　of　spillspilling　gravy。）　Steak　and　kidney。　Bottle　of　lager。　Hee　hee　hee。　Wait　till　I　wait。　
RICHIE　Goodgod。　Inev　erate　inall。。。　
（With　hanging　head　he　marches　doggedly　forward。　The　navvy；　lurching　by；　gores　him　with　his　flaming　pronghorn。）　
RICHIE　（With　a　cry　of　pain；　his　hand　to　his　back）　Ah！　Bright's！　Lights！　
BLOOM　（Points　to　the　navvy。）　A　spy。　Don't　attract　attention。　I　hate　stupid　crowds。　I　am　not　on　pleasure　bent。　I　am　in　a　grave　predicament。　
MRS　BREEN　Humbugging　and　delutbering　as　per　usual　with　your　cock　and　bull　story。　
BLOOM　I　want　to　tell　you　a　little　secret　about　how　I　came　to　be　here。　But　you　must　never　tell。　Not　even　Molly。　I　have　a　most　particular　reason。　
MRS　BREEN　（All　agog。）　O；　not　for　worlds。　
BLOOM　Let's　walk　on。　Shall　us？　
MRS　BREEN　Let's。　
（The　bawd　makes　an　unheeded　sign。　Bloom　walks　on　with　Mrs　Breen。　The　terrier　follows；　whining　piteously；　wagging　his　tail。）　
THE　BAWD　Jewman's　melt！　
BLOOM　（In　an　oatmeal　sporting　suit；　a　sprig　of　woodbine　in　the　lapel；　tony　buff　shirt；　shepherd's　plaid　Saint　Andrew's　cross　scarftie；　white　spats；　fawn　dustcoat　on　his　arm；　tawny　red　brogues；　fieldglasses　in　bandolier　and　a　grey　billycock　hat。）　Do　you　remember　a　long　long　time；　years　and　years　ago；　just　after　Milly；　Marionette　we　called　her；　was　weaned　when　we　all　went　together　to　Fairyhouse　races；　was　it？　
MRS　BREEN　（In　smart　Saxe　tailormade；　white　velours　hat　and　spider　veil。）　Leopardstown。　
BLOOM　I　mean；　Leopardstown。　And　Molly　won　seven　shillings　on　a　three　year　old　named　Nevertell　and　ing　home　along　by　Foxrock　in　that　old　fiveseater　shanderadan　of　a　waggonette　you　were　in　your　heyday　then　and　you　had　on　that　new　hat　of　white　velours　with　a　surround　of　molefur　that　Mrs　Hayes　advised　you　to　buy　because　it　was　marked　down　to　nineteen　and　eleven；　a　bit　of　wire　and　an　old　rag　of　velveteen；　and　I'll　lay　you　what　you　like　she　did　it　on　purpose。。。　
MRS　BREEN　She　did；　of　course；　the　cat！　Don't　tell　me！　Nice　adviser！　
BLOOM　Because　it　didn't　suit　you　one　quarter　as　well　as　the　other　ducky　little　tammy　toque　with　the　bird　of　paradise　wing　in　it　that　I　admired　on　you　and　you　honestly　looked　just　too　fetching　in　it　though　it　was　a　pity　to　kill　it；　you　cruel　creature；　little　mite　of　a　thing　with　a　heart　the　size　of　a　fullstop。　
MRS　BREEN　（Squeezes　his　arm；　simpers。）　Naughty　cruel　I　was。　
BLOOM　（Low；　secretly；　ever　more　rapidly。）　And　Molly　was　eating　a　sandwich　of　spiced　beef　out　of　Mrs　Joe　Gallaher's　lunch　basket。　Frankly；　though　she　had　her　advisers　or　admirers；　I　never　cared　much　for　her　style。　She　was　。　
MRS　BREEN　Too。　
BLOOM　Yes。　And　Molly　was　laughing　because　Rogers　and　Maggot　O'Reilly　were　mimicking　a　cock　as　we　passed　a　farmhouse　and　Marcus　Tertius　Moses；　the　tea　merchant；　drove　past　us　in　a　gig　with　his　daughter；　Dancer　Moses　was　her　name；　and　the　poodle　in　her　lap　bridled　up　and　you　asked　me　if　I　ever　heard　or　read　or　knew　or　came　across　。　
MRS　BREEN　（Eagerly。）　Yes；　yes；　yes；　yes；　yes；　yes；　yes。　
（She　fades　from　his　side。　Followed　by　the　whining　dog　he　walks　on　towards　hellsgates。　In　an　archway　a　standing　woman；　bent　forward；　her　feet　apart；　pisses　cowily。　Outside　a　shuttered　pub　a　bunch　of　loiterers　listen　to　a　tale　which　their　broken　snouted　gaffer　rasps　out　with　raucous　humour。　An　armless　pair　of　them　flop　wrestling；　growling；　in　maimed　sodden　playfight。）　
THE　GAFFER　（Crouches；　his　voice　twisted　in　his　snout。）　And　when　Cairns　came　down　from　the　scaffolding　in　Beaver　Street　what　was　he　after　doing　it　into　only　into　the　bucket　of　porter　that　was　there　waiting　on　the　shavings　for　Derwan's　plasterers。　
THE　LOITERERS　（Guffaw　with　cleft　palates。）　O　jays！　
（Their　paintspeckled　hats　wag。　Spattered　with　size　and　lime　of　their　lodges　they　frisk　limblessly　about　him。）　
BLOOM　Coincidence　too。　They　think　it　funny。　Anything　but　that。　Broad　daylight。　Trying　to　walk。　Lucky　no　woman。　
THE　LOITERERS　Jays；　that's　a　good　one。　Glauber　salts。　O　jays；　into　the　men's　porter。　
（Bloom　passes。　Cheap　whores；　singly；　coupled；　shawled；　dishevelled；　call　from　lanes；　doors；　corners。）　
THE　WHORES　Are　you　going　far；　queer　fellow？　How's　your　middle　leg？　Got　a　match　on　you？　Eh；　e　here　till　I　stiffen　it　for　you。　
（He　plodges　through　their　sump　towards　the　lighted　street　beyond。　From　a　bulge　of　window　curtains　a　gramophone　rears　a　battered　brazen　trunk。　In　the　shadow　a　shebeenkeeper　haggles　with　the　navvy　and　the　two　redcoats。）　
THE　NAVVY　（Belching。）　Where's　the　bloody　house？　
THE　SHEBEENKEEPER　Purdon　street。　Shilling　a　bottle　of　stout。　Respectable　woman。　
THE　NAVVY　（Gripping　the　two　redcoats；　staggers　forward　with　them。）　e　on；　you　British　army！　
PRIVATE　CARR　（Behind　his　back。）　He　aint　half　balmy。　
PRIVATE　PTON　（LAughs。）　What　ho！　
PRIVATE　CARR　（To　the　navvy。）　Portobello　barracks　canteen。　You　ask　for　Carr。　Just　Carr。　
THE　NAVVY　（Shouts。）　
We　are　the　boys。　Of　Wexford。　
PRIVATE　PTON　Say！　What　price　the　sergeantmajor？　
PRIVATE　CARR　Bennett？　He's　my　pal。　I　love　old　Bennett。　
THENAVVY　（Shouts。）　
The　galling　chain。　
And　free　our　native　land。
（He　staggers　forward；　dragging　them　with　him。　Bloom　stops；　at　fault。　The　dog　approaches；　his　tongue　outlolling；　panting。）　
BLOOM　Wildgoose　chase　this。　Disorderly　houses。　Lord　knows　where　they　are　gone。　Drunks　cover　distance　double　quick。　Nice　mixup。　Scene　at　Westland　row。　Then　jump　in　first　class　with　third　ticket。　Then　too　far。　Train　with　engine　behind。　Might　have　taken　me　to　Malahide　or　a　siding　for　the　night　or　collision。　Second　drink　does　it。　Once　is　a　dose。　What　am　I　following　him　for？　Still；　he's　the　best　of　that　lot。　If　I　hadn't　heard　about　Mrs　Beaufoy　Purefoy　I　wouldn't　have　gone　and　wouldn't　have　met。　Kismet。　He'll　lose　that　cash。　Relieving　office　here。　Good　biz　for　cheapjacks；　organs。　What　do　ye　lack？　Soon　got；　soon　gone。　Might　have　lost　my　life　too　with　that　mangongwheeltracktrolleyglarejuggernaut　only　for　presence　of　mind。　Can't　always　save　you；　though。　If　I　had　passed　Truelock's　window　that　day　two　minutes　later　would　have　been　shot。　Absence　of　body。　Still　if　bullet　only　went　through　my　coat　get　damages　for　shock；　five　hundred　pounds。　What　was　he？　Kildare　street　club　toff。　God　help　his　gamekeeper。　
（He　gazes　ahead　reading　on　the　wall　a　scrawled　chalk　legend　Wet　Dream　and　a　phallic　design。）　
Odd！　Molly　drawing　on　the　frosted　carriagepane　at　Kingstown。　What's　that　like？　（Gaudy　dollwomen　loll　in　the　lighted　doorways；　in　window　embrasures；　smoking　birdseye　cigarettes。　The　odour　of　the　sicksweet　weed　floats　towards　him　in　slow　round　ovalling　wreaths。）　
THE　WREATHS　Sweet　are　the　sweets。　Sweets　of　sin。　
BLOOM　My　spine's　a　bit　limp。　Go　or　turn？　And　this　food？　Eat　it　and　get　all　pigsticky。　Absurd　I　am。　Waste　of　money。　One　and　eightpence　too　much。　（The　retriever　drives　a　cold　snivelling　muzzle　against　his　hand；　wagging　his　tail。）　Strange　how　they　take　to　me。　Even　that　brute　today。　Better　speak　to　him　first。　Like　women　they　like　rencontres。　Stinks　like　a　polecat。　Chacun　son　go？t。　He　might　be　mad。　Fido。　Uncertain　in　his　movements。　Good　fellow！　Garryowen！　（The　wolfdog　sprawls　on　his　back；　wriggling　obscenely　with　begging　paws；　his　long　black　tongue　lolling　out。）　Influence　of　his　surroundings。　Give　and　have　done　with　it。　Provided　nobody。　（Calling　encouraging　words　he　shambles　back　with　a　furtive　poacher's　tread；　dogged　by　the　setter　into　a　dark　stalestunk　corner。　He　unrolls　one　parcel　and　goes　to　dump　the　crubeen　softly　but　holds　back　and　feels　the　trotter。）　Sizeable　for　threepence。　But　then　I　have　it　in　my　left　hand。　Calls　for　more　effort。　Why？　Smaller　from　want　of　use。　O；　let　it　slide。　Two　and　six。　
（With　regret　he　lets　unrolled　crubeen　and　trotter　slide。　The　mastiff　mauls　the　bundle　clumsily　and　gluts　himself　with　growling　greed；　crunching　the　bones。　Two　raincaped　watch　approach；　silent；　vigilant。　They　murmur　together。）　
THE　WATCH　Bloom。　Of　Bloom。　For　Bloom。　Bloom。　
（Each　lays　a　hand　on　Blooms　shoulder。）　
FIRST　WATCH　Caught　in　the　act。　mit　no　nuisance。　
BLOOM　（Stammers。）　I　am　doing　good　to　others。　
（A　covey　of　gulls；　storm　petrels；　rises　hungrily　from　Liffey　slime　with　Banbury　cakes　in　their　beaks。）　
THE　GULLS　Kaw　kave　kankury　kake。　
BLOOM　The　friend　of　man。　Trained　by　kindness。　
（He　points。　Bob　Doran；　toppling　from　a　high　bars　tool；　sways　over　the　munching　spaniel。）　
BOB　DORAN　Towser。　Give　us　the　paw。　Give　the　paw。　
（The　bulldog　growls；　his　scruff　standing；　a　gobbet　of　pigs　knuckle　between　his　molars　through　which　rabid　scrumspittle　dribbles。　Bob　Doran　falls　silently　into　an　area。）　
SECOND　WATCH　Prevention　of　cruelty　to　animals。　
BLOOM　（Enthusiastically。）　A　noble　work！　I　scolded　that　tramdriver　on　Harold's　cross　bridge　for　illusing　the　poor　horse　with　his　harness　scab。　Bad　French　I　got　for　my　pains。　Of　course　it　was　frosty　and　the　last　tram。　All　tales　of　circus　life　are　highly　demoralising。　
（Signor　Maffei；　passion　pale；　in　liontamer's　costume　with　diamond　studs　in　his　shirtfront；　steps　forward；　holding　a　circus　paper　hoop；　a　curling　carriagewhip　and　a　revolver　with　which　he　covers　the　going　boarhound。）　
SIGNOR　MAFFEI　（With　a　sinister　smile。）　Ladies　and　gentlemen；　my　educated　greyhound。　It　was　I　broke　in　the　bucking　broncho　Ajax　with　my　patent　spiked　saddle　for　carnivores。　Lash　under　the　belly　with　a　knotted　thong。　Block　tackle　and　a　strangling　pully　will　bring　your　lion　to　heel；　no　matter　how　fractious；　even　Leo　ferox　there；　the　Libyan　maneater。　A　redhot　crowbar　and　some　liniment　rubbing　on　the　burning　part　produced　Fritz　of　Amsterdam；　the　thinking　hyena。　（He　glares。）　I　possess　the　Indian　sign。　The　glint　of　my　eye　does　it　with　these　breastsparklers。　（With　a　bewitching　smile。）　I　now　introduce　Mademoiselle　Ruby；　the　pride　of　the　ring。　
FIRST　WATCH　e。　Name　and　address。　
BLOOM　I　have　forgotten　for　the　moment。　Ah；　yes！　（He　takes　off　his　high　grade　hat；　saluting。）　Dr　Bloom；　Leopold；　dental　surgeon。　You　have　heard　of　von　Bloom　Pasha。　Umpteen　mil　lions。　Donnerwetter！　Owns　half　Austria。　Egypt。　Cousin。　
FIRST　WATCH　Proof。　
（A　card　falls　from　inside　the　leather　headband　of　Bloom's　hat。）　
BLOOM　（In　red　fez；　cadi's　dress　coat　with　broad　green　sash；　wearing　a　false　badge　of　the　Legion　of　Honour；　picks　up　the　card　hastily　and　offers　it。）　Allow　me。　My　club　is　the　Junior　Army　and　Navy。　Solicitors：　Messrs　John　Henry　Menton；　27　Bachelor's　Walk。　
FIRST　WATCH　（Reads。）　Henry　Flower。　No　fixed　abode。　Un　lawfully　watching　and　besetting。　
SECOND　WATCH　An　alibi。　You　are　cautioned。　
BLOOM　（Produces　from　his　heartpocket　a　crumpled　yellow　flower。）　This　is　the　flower　in　question。　It　was　given　me　by　a　man　I　don't　know　his　name。　（Plausibly。）　You　know　that　old　joke；　rose　of　Castille。　Bloom。　The　change　of　name　Vi